The Beaux Stratagem

Full Text and Introduction (NHB Drama Classics)

George Farquhar

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2015
• Topic: Literature
• eBook ISBN:
  9781780016078
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

Drama Classics: The World's Great Plays at a Great Little Price

George Farquhar's immortal comedy about two young gentlemen with a misguided plan to get enrich themselves at the expense of a series of young heiresses.

A pair of London gentlemen, Archer and Aimwell, pose as a Lord and his servant in order to procure one handsome dowry to split between them. While Aimwell, the 'lord', works on the affections of Lady Bountiful's daughter Dorinda, his 'servant' Archer makes his bid for her son's wife.

George Farquhar's play The Beaux Stratagem was first produced at the Theatre Royal, London, in 1707.

This edition, in the Nick Hern Books Drama Classics series, is edited and introduced by Simon Trussler.

Act I

Scene, an inn. Enter BONNIFACE running.

BONNIFACE. Chamberlain, maid, Cherry, daughter Cherry, all asleep, all dead?

Enter CHERRY running.

CHERRY. Here, here, why d’ye bawl so, Father? d’ye think we have no ears?

BONNIFACE. You deserve to have none, you young minx; – the company of the Warrington coach has stood in the hall this hour, and no body to show them to their chambers.

CHERRY. And let ’em wait farther; there’s neither red coat in the coach, nor footman behind it.

BONNIFACE. But they threaten to go to another inn tonight.

CHERRY. That they dare not, for fear the coachman should overturn them tomorrow. – Coming, coming: here’s the London coach arriv’d.

Enter several people with trunks, band-boxes, and other luggage, and cross the stage.

BONNIFACE. Welcome, ladies.

CHERRY. Very welcome, gentlemen – chamberlain, show the Lion and the Rose.

Exit with the company.

Enter AIMWELL in riding habit, ARCHER as footman carrying a portmantle.

BONNIFACE. This way, this way, gentlemen.

AIMWELL. Set down the things, go to the stable, and see my horses well rubb’d.

ARCHER. I shall, sir.

Exit.

AIMWELL. You’re my landlord, I suppose?

BONNIFACE. Yes, sir, I’m old Will. Bonniface, pretty well known upon this road, as the saying is.

AIMWELL. O Mr. Bonniface, your servant.

BONNIFACE. O sir – what will your honour please to drink, as the saying is?

AIMWELL. I have heard your town of Lichfield much fam’d for ale, I think I’ll taste that.

BONNIFACE. Sir, I have now in my cellar ten tun of the best ale in Staffordshire; ’tis smooth as oil, sweet as milk, clear as amber, and strong as brandy; and will be just fourteen year old the fifth day of next March old style.

AIMWELL. You’re very exact, I find, in the age of your ale.

BONNIFACE. As punctual, sir, as I am in the age of my children: I’ll show you such ale – here, tapster, broach Number 1706 as the saying is; – Sir, you shall taste my Anno Domini; – I have liv’d in Lichfield man and boy above eight and fifty years, and I believe have not consum’d eight and fifty ounces of meat.

AIMWELL. At a meal, you mean, if one may guess your sense by your bulk.

BONNIFACE. Not in my life, sir, I have fed purely upon ale; I have eat my ale, drank my ale, and I always sleep upon ale.

Enter TAPSTER with a bottle and glass.

Now, sir, you shall see. (Filling it out.) Your worship’s health; ha! delicious, delicious, – fancy it burgundy, only fancy it, and ’tis worth ten shilling a quart.

AIMWELL (drinks). ’Tis confounded strong.

BONNIFACE. Strong! It must be so, or how should we be strong that drink it?

AIMWELL. And have you liv’d so long upon this ale, landlord?

BONNIFACE. Eight and fifty years upon my credit, sir; but it kill’d my wife, poor woman, as the saying is.

AIMWELL. How came that to pass?

BONNIFACE. I don’t know how, sir; she would not let the ale take its natural course, sir, she was for qualifying it every now and then with a dram, as the saying is; and an honest gentleman that came this way from Ireland, made her a present of a dozen bottles of usquebaugh – But the poor woman was never well after: but howe’er, I was obliged to the gentleman, you know.

AIMWELL. Why, was it the usquebaugh that kill’d her?

BONNIFACE. My Lady Bountiful said so, – She, good lady, did what could be done, she cured her of three tympanies, but the fourth carried her off; but she’s happy, and I’m contented, as the saying is.

CHERRY. Who’s that Lady Bountiful, you mention’d?

BONNIFACE. Od’s my life, sir, we’ll drink her health. (Drinks.) My Lady Bountiful is one of the best of women: her last husband Sir Charles Bountiful left her worth a thousand pound a year; and I believe she lays out one half on’t in charitable uses for the good of her neighbours; she cures rheumatisms, ruptures, and broken shins in men, green sickness, obstructions, and fits of the mother in women; – the kings-evil, chin-cough, and chilblains in children; in short, she has cured more people in and about Lichfield within ten years than the doctors have kill’d in twenty; and that’s a bold word.

AIMWELL. Has the lady been any other way useful in her generation?

BONNIFACE. Yes, sir, she has a daughter by Sir Charles, the finest woman in all our country, and the greatest fortune. She has a son too by her first husband Squire Sullen, who married a fine lady from London t’other day; if you please, sir, we’ll drink his health?

AIMWELL. What sort of a man is he?

BONNIFACE. Why, sir, the man’s well enough; says little, thinks less, and does – nothing at all, faith: But he’s a man of a great estate, and values nobody.

AIMWELL. A sportsman, I suppose.

BONNIFACE. Yes, sir, he’s a man of pleasure, he plays at whisk, and smokes his pipe eight and forty hours together sometimes.

AIMWELL. And married, you say?

BONNIFACE. Ay, and to a curious woman, sir, – But he’s a – He wants it, here, sir. (Pointing to his forehead.)

AIMWELL. He has it there, you mean.

BONNIFACE. That’s none of my business, he’s my landlord, and so a man you know, would not, – But – Ecod, he’s no better than – Sir, my humble service to you. (Drinks.) Tho’ I value not a farthing what he can do to me; I pay him his rent at Quarter Day, I have a good running trade, I have but one daughter, and I can give her – but no matter for that.

AIMWELL. You’re very happy, Mr. Bonniface, pray what other company have you in town?

BONNIFACE. A power of fine ladies, and then we have the French officers.

AIMWELL. O that’s right, you have a good many of those gentlemen: Pray how do you like their company?

BONNIFACE. So well, as the saying is, that I could wish we had as many more of ’em, they’re full of money, and pay double for everything they have; they know, sir, that we paid good round taxes for the taking of ’em, and so they are willing to reimburse us a little; one of ’em lodges in my house.

Enter ARCHER.

ARCHER. Landlord, there are some French gentlemen below that ask for you.

BONNIFACE. I’ll wait on ’em; – Does your master stay long in town, as the saying is? (To ARCHER.)

ARCHER. I can’t tell, as the saying is.

BONNIFACE. Come from London?

ARCHER. No.

BONNIFACE. Going to London, mayhap?

ARCHER. No.

BONNIFACE. An odd fellow this. I beg your worship’s pardon, I’ll wait on you in half a minute.

Exit.

AIMWELL. The coast’s clear, I see, – Now my dear Archer, welcome to Lichfield.

ARCHER. I thank thee, my dear brother in iniquity.

AIMWELL. Iniquity! prithee leave canting, you need not change your style with your dress.

ARCHER. Don’t mistake me, Aimwell, for ’tis still my maxim, that there is no scandal like rags, nor any crime so shameful as poverty.

AIMWELL. The world confesses it every day in its practice, tho’ men won’t own it for their opinion: who did that worthy Lord, my brother, single out of the side-box to sup with him t’other night?

ARCHER. Jack Han...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• Introduction
• For Further Reading
• Farquhar: Key Dates
• Advertisement
• The Beaux Stratagem
• Epilogue
• Glossary
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information