Travesty

Liam Williams

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2016
• Print ISBN:
  9781848426153
• eBook ISBN:
  9781780018171
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

Ben doesn't even like Anna that much. She doesn't take life seriously enough. And then a couple of years go by and he's in absolute floods and she just wishes things could be different. This is a play about gender, the ethical dimensions of modern love, and a mandatory sillier third theme to make the whole thing seem less serious, in this case lemon tart. Travesty is the debut play by Liam Williams, double Edinburgh Comedy Award nominee and the 'voice of a generation' ( Independent ). It was produced by Fight in the Dog and premiered at the 2016 Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

'The Fringe's most articulate and original chronicler of twenty-something angst' Telegraph

One

A bedroom. Day. BEN is in bed, looking at ANNA who is standing with her back to him, topless, pulling on pyjama trousers. She turns around, and covers her breasts as she looks on the floor for something. BEN places a used tissue on the table next to the bed.

BEN. Can I smoke in here?

ANNA. No! I’ve just moved in. I don’t know why you feel the need to smoke after sex. It’s not 1991.

He laughs dryly. Puts cig back in packet.

Can I wear your jumper?

BEN. Don’t get too attached. Gotta go in a minute.

She picks his jumper off the floor and puts it on. She hops into bed. They snuggle up happily, if a little awkwardly.

Pause.

ANNA. Should we have used a condom?

BEN. I feel like that’s becoming a bit of a catchphrase.

ANNA. It’s so bad. I just get too consumed.

BEN. Ha, ‘consumed’. You’re a little poet. Do I consume you with my manly jaws. (Climbs on top of her.) And… heft?

ANNA. It’s nice for it to feel consuming. Doesn’t happen with everyone.

He laughs quietly and seems suddenly contemplative.

You alright?

BEN. Yeah fine, why?

ANNA. What’s up?

BEN. When you say it ‘doesn’t happen with everyone’…

ANNA. Huh?

BEN. You get consumed by sex with me and it doesn’t happen with everyone.

ANNA. Yeah.

BEN. Who’s ‘everyone’ then?

ANNA. Just… other people.

BEN. So this ‘everyone’ is still on the scene, are they?

ANNA. I thought you didn’t care.

BEN. Why do you say that?

ANNA. Last night in the restaurant I started talking about a guy I went on a date with a while back?

He doesn’t seem to remember.

I said: ‘Sorry, is it weird to talk about him?’ and you said ‘Nah I don’t care…’

BEN pretends not to remember for a second and then…

BEN (faux-offhand). Oh the… video fella.

ANNA. Documentary-maker. Seb.

BEN. No I don’t care. Just trying to make pillow talk. So… erm – (Ironising a pillow-talk cliché.) what’s your favourite song?

ANNA. Wait, so are you?

BEN. Am I what?

ANNA. Are you sleeping with other girls?

BEN. Erm…

ANNA. Ben.

BEN. I, yeah, sometimes.

ANNA (pulling away from him). We should be using a condom.

BEN. No wait. I’m not… I’m clean.

ANNA. How do you know?

BEN. Because, I know… I only sleep with people who are…

ANNA. Go on.

BEN (deliberate, bad-taste humour). Like, middle class.

ANNA. Ah. That’s fucking snobbish.

BEN. I’m joking.

ANNA. Sure. I know you pride yourself on your humble working-class origins.

BEN. No I pride myself on my humble lower-middle-class origins. But like really low. Like we had a Škoda.

ANNA. How do you know I haven’t got AIDS?

Slight pause.

BEN. I guess I assume.

ANNA. Ridiculous man.

BEN. You must have assumed too. Anyway, you know, you don’t need to worry about… babies… cos you know.

With his head he gives a vague gesture intended to signify pulling out early but it doesn’t really end up signifying anything.

ANNA. I was thinking of getting the coil.

BEN. Oh right.

ANNA. I’m too young to be a mumma.

BEN. How old are you?

ANNA. Twenty-five. What are you, twenty-nine?

BEN (bit offended). I’m twenty-eight!

He nods. They re...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Original Production
• Characters
• One
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information