The Assassination of Katie Hopkins

Chris Bush, Matt Winkworth

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2018
• Print ISBN: 9781848427600
• eBook ISBN: 9781788500418
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

A shocking crime divides the nation. Fingers are pointed, sides are drawn, facts are hard to come by. Why did this happen? How do we move on? What must we remember?

It's easy to have an opinion online, safe behind the anonymity of a keyboard, just like, share and subscribe. But as the digital mob polish their pitchforks, the world starts to question just how free should free speech be?

A smart, satirical musical by Chris Bush and Matt Winkworth about truth, celebrity and public outrage, The Assassination of Katie Hopkins premiered at Theatr Clwyd, Mold, in April 2018, directed by James Grieve. It went on to win Best Musical Production at the 2018 UK Theatre Awards.

ACT ONE

1. Overture: Have You Seen This?

The stage is bare, except for a number of mobile phones on various tables and surfaces. One by one they start to buzz, slowly building a percussive rhythm. Now they begin to bleep and chirp. Gradually, members of the COMPANY enter. Now the noise of their key tones as they write messages are incorporated into the score, along with the whooshes and chimes as these messages are sent and received. Only now do they start to sing, their voices overlapping.

COMPANY. Have you seen this?

Have you seen this?
Have you seen this?
Have you seen this?

Have you seen this?
Fake – totally fake.
Have you seen this?
Don’t believe a word of it

Have you seen this?
Shit – what’s going on?
Have you seen this?
Read this thread by @SuzieCupcake96

Have you seen this?
Shots fired –
Have you seen this?

A search result is heard.

TWEET. Fire sweeps through agricultural site near Dartford

The story is minimised as the COMPANY keeps searching.

COMPANY. Have you seen this?

Shots fired in central London

Another search result.

MAN. Fired up for tonight’s sesh in London town – bring on the shots! #ladsontour

Again, it’s closed.

COMPANY. Have you seen this?

Shots fired!
Witnesses report a shooting in London
Shots fired!
Shooting London

A CELEBRITY emerges from the COMPANY, sending a tweet and taking a selfie.

CELEBRITY. Great to be back shooting in London – one of my all-time favourite cities.

COMPANY. Gunshots. Shots fired. Shooting.

Have you seen this?
Gunshots fired in central London

WOMAN. Who’s letting off fireworks in June? #wankers

ALL. #wankers!

COMPANY. Gunshots in Mayfair

Swear to God that sounded just like gunshots in Mayfair

TWEET. We’ll be live-streaming from the British Media and Entertainment Awards tonight in Mayfair. #BMEAwards

COMPANY. Have you seen this?

Shots fired at the #BMEAwards
Have you seen this?
Ambulances arriving at the #BMEAwards

A series of more official tweets.

TWEET. Delays on the Jubilee line caused by an incident in Mayfair

TWEET. Grosvenor Street is closed due to an incident in Mayfair

TWEET. Adjust your travel plans to avoid an incident in Mayfair

COMPANY. Shit’s going down in Mayfair

All kicking off in Mayfair
What’s going on in Mayfair?

From out of the COMPANY come three NEWS REPORTERS. The speech is now more formal, clipped, official. Underscore continues underneath. NEWS. 1 and 2 are in the studio, NEWS. 3 on the ground, unexpectedly caught up in the action, trying to hold it together.

NEWS. 1. We are receiving breaking news of an incident –
Of a suspected shooting –
In the West End of London.
Eyewitnesses / are reporting –

NEWS. 2. If you’re just joining us, what we currently –
We believe –

At the moment we believe –
We think an attack / may have occurred –

NEWS. 3. You’re joining me, uh, I’m here

At the British Media and Entertainment Awards, Where there, there / seems to have been –

NEWS. 1. Four ambulances / were seen arriving –

NEWS. 2. Four – we’re saying four –

NEWS. 1. At the exclusive Mayfair venue
But it’s unclear at this point / just how many –

NEWS. 3. Um, some kind of, of, I think gunfire –

COMPANY. Have you seen this?

Bloodbath at the #BMEAwards
Have you seen this?
Terror attack at the #BMEAwards

NEWS. 3. You can see where police have…

They’ve cordoned off the whole…

The whole… as you can see…

I’m sorry, John. I’m sorry, / this is –

NEWS. 2. Many of us here of course

Have friends – have friends and colleagues

In attendance at the… / present at the –

NEWS. 1. We don’t yet have any details of…

All we know is that there has been an incident

And we’ll keep you updated / on all of the –

NEWS. 3. I see Cathy! I see Cathy from our –

Lots of… of very, um, of very shaken up, and…

Understandably. A lot of shock. A lot of…

And the police presence, still, as you can see…

COMPANY. Have you seen this?

Panic at the #BMEAwards

NEWS. 1. We’re now being told… I’m hearing three – Three individuals have been admitted to hospital, Others being treated at the scene.

COMPANY. Have you seen this?

Dozens dead at the #BMEAwards

NEWS. 2. Two with minor – with fairly superficial –

The third… No word on the third / individual, as of yet.

NEWS. 3. But we did, um, we did definitely hear shots fired –

What sounded like shots being fired –

COMPANY. Shots fired at the #BMEAwards

NEWS. 3. Most people saying four or five, they think, As the last few guests were / making their way in.

NEWS. 1. No names have currently been released.

They’ll be waiting, of course, until the next-of-kin – Until they’ve made contact with the families.

The COMPANY are googling search terms.

COMPANY. Who’s at the #BMEAwards?

Stars at the #BMEAwards

NEWS. 2. And we’re hearing – we have heard / multiple reports –

NEWS. 3. But a lot of… of confusion, an...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title page
• Contents
• Original Production
• Acknowledgements
• Characters
• Notes on text and production
• The Assassination of Katie Hopkins
• About the Authors
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information