Alcatraz

Nathan Lucky Wood

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2019
• Topic: Literature
• eBook ISBN:
  9781788501545
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

A thrilling play about family and social care that follows 11-year-old Sandy on her daring, Christmas mission to emulate Clint Eastwood and bust her gran out of lock-up.

Nathan Lucky Wood's play Alcatraz was first performed at VAULT Festival, London, in February 2019.

1

SANDY, eleven years old, in her pyjamas, sturdy boots, and a rucksack over her shoulder. She is standing on a window ledge.

SANDY. First, what you do is, you blow up a balloon. Then you tear up strips of paper and you put them in the paste. And then you put the pastey paper round the balloon until there’s no balloon it’s all just paper. And then it dries. And what you should have, is what looks like, a head.

If it doesn’t look too much like a head now, that’s okay. It’s not shaped like a head, it’s shaped like a balloon, ’cause that’s what it is. But if you put a nose on it looks better. You just scrunch up pastey paper into a nose shape. And then you wait for it to dry –

And then when it’s dry you get to paint it!

Now. This is important. Miss B will tell you, you can paint it any colours you like. She’ll say, why not paint it rainbows. Why not paint stars on it. Why not paint a beautiful sky. She’ll say, look at Omar’s work. Omar’s painted a field with a rabbit. Omar’s painted a sun with a face. She’ll start to cry a bit ’cause she loves the rabbit and the sunface so much. She’ll say, why can’t you do something like Omar? Why can’t you try, for once, to make something nice? DO NOT LISTEN TO HER. A HEAD IS A HEAD IS A HEAD. It doesn’t have stars or rainbows or rabbits. It’s got wrinkles and liver spots and it ain’t smiling ’cause no one smiles when they’re sleeping. Miss B can say what she likes. She can write a report, say you lack imaginative capacity. The sun don’t have a face or if it does we don’t know, ’cause if you look at the sun you go blind.

And she’s not seen the movie.

My favourite movie, and the best movie in the whole world, is – Escape from Alcatraz. It’s a true movie. It’s got my favourite actor Clint Eastwood. When I grow up I’m going to be Clint Eastwood. I know that’s not currently possible but it didn’t used to be possible to go to the moon or for girls to go to university, so. You know. Who cares what who says what is possible.

In the movie they’re in Alcatraz which is the worst prison ever in the world. No one’s ever escaped from Alcatraz. The walls are thicker than an entire house and outside the walls it’s just water. You’re locked in your cell every night, and every half-hour the screws come and check you’re sleeping, so even if you did get out you wouldn’t have time to get away, they’d know you were gone and they’d be after you and get you. When you’re locked up in there you’re locked up there till you die. Except Clint Eastwood, he digs through the wall WITH A SPOON and he makes a fake head to fool the screws and he gets away. So it used to not be possible to escape from Alcatraz, until it was.

Dad says I can have a key when I’m twelve. But it’ll be too late then. So it’s got to be the window.

It’s cold. But not real cold. Not cold like rowing across San Francisco Bay on a raft made of stolen raincoats is cold. This is just breezy.

And then You jump.

She jumps.

Blackout.

2

ARDEN is sat at a desk. She is holding a piece of tinsel.

She is seven months pregnant.

PETER is standing in front of her.

ARDEN. Do you know what this is?

PETER. Um. It’s tinsel.

ARDEN. That’s right, Peter. Tinsel.

Beat.

What can you tell me about tinsel?

PETER. It’s a Christmas decoration. It’s for putting on things.

To make them Christmassy.

ARDEN. yes, that’s right. That’s it exactly. It’s for putting on things. Things, Peter. Things.

Have you been to Mrs Connolly’s room today?

PETER. Not today

ARDEN. Well I have. And what I found is, she’s taped black all over the windows, turned all the lights off, and she’s sat there in her armchair, with this all wrapped round her head like she’s a bloody Christmas tree.

Is Mrs Connolly a thing, Peter?

PETER. No –

ARDEN. Where do you think she got this, Peter?

PETER. Er

ARDEN. ’Cause what Mrs Connolly said is, and this is a quote, ‘the nice man gave it me’. So I’ve been sat here racking my brains a bit, trying to think, who could it be – someone who works here – who’s nice.

Peter? Can you think of anybody?

PETER. Oh – I don’t –

ARDEN. Nice. We’re looking for nice.

PETER. I think everyone’s nice –

ARDEN. No, they’re not, Peter, I’m afraid you’re wrong about that. Everyone who works here is not nice. What we are, is professional. Which means when the residents come to us asking for us to give them a bit of tinsel to wrap around their heads, we think, is that a sensible, safe, professional care decision.

And we say no.

Did you give Mrs Connolly this?

PETER. Um. The thing is, she – she thinks we’re doing something to her brain. It stops her sleeping and. The tinsel – she thinks the tinsel keeps the signals out –

ARDEN. Peter, I don’t care what she thinks! She’s a vulnerable old woman with symptoms of paranoia, and this is a serious choking hazard! We don’t let her have it because we don’t want her to die!

Peter, next year it won’t be me sat in this chair. It’ll be whoever head office sends in as my cover. And I promise you, they won’t care how nice you are. If you get found doing anything like this, you’ll just be gone. Like that. Do you understand that?

PETER. yes.

ARDEN. Is it just Mrs Connolly?

PETER.…No.

ARDEN. How many?

PETER. Um – quite a few on the fourth floor – she’s been telling them about it and she’s quite popular – they all wanted to try it –

ARDEN. Jesus, Peter!

Listen to me. They’re doing inspections now. They come in secret. Like mystery shoppers. Could be anyone. A visiting family member. Even a new member of staff. Anyone new you see here could be one. For all we know there could be someone here right now!

What do you think would happen if an inspection happened and they saw this?

PETER. I’d be fired?

ARDEN. Yes! You’d be fired.

PETER. Please Miss Arden – I’m really sorry

ARDEN. Okay, god, don’t cry or anything. Look, here’s what I want you to do. Go round the whole home. Collect up all the tinsel, baubles, everything, all the decorations. Put them all in a big box. Bring them to me here so I can check you’ve got everything. And then take the box down to the incinerator. And burn ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title page
• Contents
• Welcome to VAULT
• Original Production
• Characters
• Alcatraz
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information