The Red Helicopter

Robin French

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2019
• eBook ISBN: 9781788501071
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

A thrilling, epic story about innocence, community and the dangerous power of unquestioning belief.

It's 2072. Following a cataclysmic economic and social decline, the UK has been abandoned by its inhabitants in a mass exodus. Almost everyone got out. Almost.

In a disused office somewhere in the ghost city of London lives a group of twenty abandoned young people. At the top of a ruthless hierarchy is sixteen-year-old 'Daddy', who has taken control of the only Internet connection, promising that one day they will all be lifted to safety by a red helicopter.

But when a stranger from the North arrives looking for a girl who disappeared from the group a year ago, nothing can ever be the same again….

Robin French's play The Red Helicopter was first performed at the Almeida Theatre, performed by the Young Friend of the Almeida LAB Company.

The Nick Hern Books Multiplay Drama series features large-cast plays specifically written to be performed by and appeal to young people.

Scene One

A Wednesday afternoon in 2072. The action takes place on the third floor of a skyscraper in the east of London, south of the river. The third floor is now the ground floor because of the level of the snow. The office space is clearly no longer used for office activities, though there is still a lot of office furniture there.

In general, this scene should feel like a hubbub. A hive of activity. This is a society which works. Other characters may well walk through the space in the course of the scene.

KEITH is playing a bashed-up guitar. BLONDEL and BLAIR are sat on improvised thrones made out of office swivel chairs and various shiny objects. BLONDEL is styling BLAIR’s hair. Both girls are pregnant. They give the impression of ladies of leisure.

ANDREA approaches SAIMA. She gives her a drawing.

ANDREA. E… E… E…

ANDREA can’t manage to push the word out. SAIMA has unfurled the drawing.

SAIMA. Elizabeth!

This is H-Buzz, Andrea. This is just like her.

You did that from memory, that’s…

Blair! Looks like her doesn’t it?

BLAIR. Not interested.

SAIMA (to ANDREA). Did you do that for tonight? It’s really good.

ANDREA nods. KINGSLEY enters.

SAIMA. You seen Zadie?

KINGSLEY. She went north. She’s not back?

SAIMA. We’re meant to be rehearsing.

KINGSLEY takes his bag over to a pile of tinned food in the corner. KEITH moves near him.

BLONDEL. How far you go?

KINGSLEY. Parsons Green.

He throws the bag to KEITH. KEITH opens it.

KEITH. Not bad!

KINGSLEY (from memory). Plum Tomatoes. Twice. Whiskers. Novelty cigarette lighter. Anchovies.

KEITH. Correct.

KINGSLEY. Saw another dead body.

You ever notice – they always have the same expression. Corpses do.

Like:

He does an impression.

Quizzical.

KEITH. Oh my god! Starburst!

KEITH has found one lone Starburst sweet. KINGSLEY runs to try and get it off him.

KINGSLEY. Come on, Keith. That’s my bag.

BLONDEL. You got to give that to Daddy.

KEITH. Too late.

KEITH has already crammed it into his mouth.

KINGSLEY. Gong.

ELLIS saunters in. She is wearing a bright-blue old lady’s cardigan. She is obviously incredibly proud of it.

SAIMA. Ellis, you seen Zadie?

ELLIS ignores SAIMA.

BLONDEL. Where you been?

ELLIS. Around.

BLAIR. What’s that?

ELLIS. Like it? I’m wearing it to Elizabeth’s anniversary tonight.

You singing?

SAIMA. Daddy asked me and Zadie to do something.

BLAIR is still looking at ELLIS’s cardigan.

BLAIR. Where did you get it?

ELLIS. I acquired it.

BLONDEL. If you find clothes, you have to give them to Daddy. Rules.

ELLIS. Nice, isn’t it. Real wool.

What are you singing?

SAIMA. We don’t know yet.

ELLIS. You’d better decide soon!

BLAIR. Something for Daddy.

SAIMA. Something for Elizabeth. That’s why he asked me and Zadie to sing it.

BLONDEL. It’s polyester.

ELLIS. Wool. Nice colour.

Sing something sexy. Put Golding in the mood for me.

Royal Blue.

BLONDEL. Where from?

ELLIS. Dead grief. Posh house. Kensington.

No holes or nothing. It’s pristine.

BLONDEL. It doesn’t fit you.

BLAIR. You don’t know why that grief died. Does it smell?

ELLIS. Smells of Persil and Fairy Liquid.

BLAIR smells it.

BLONDEL. If Golding gave you that, you should give it to Daddy. He’ll get in trouble.

ELLIS. He won’t. Because Daddy gave it to Golding.

BLONDEL. What?

ELLIS. Golding’s on the way up.

It’s not going to be long. Daddy’s going to let Golding use the laptop. Daddy’s going to give Golding the password.

BLAIR. You know, Ellis, you know who you remind me of wearing that cardigan?

ELLIS. Old movie star?

BLAIR. No. Her.

She points at ANDREA. BLONDEL and BLAIR crack up, laughing at her. ELLIS storms out, in a huff.

KINGSLEY. I found Daddy this scalding hat this week. You seen him in that hat?

SAIMA. Nope.

KINGSLEY. I was near my old care home. Whipped it off this grief. So damn quick. Whoosh.

Daddy looked max happy.

I’m on the up, I am. I’m a good person to know.

SAIMA. Okay.

KINGSLEY. I’m burning too. I’m one of the most handsomest boys here. Definitely.

SAIMA. I’ll bear that in mind.

KINGSLEY. Yeah. Do.

You’re caught in my web, Saima, and I don’t intend to let you out.

KINGSLEY tries to do a cool, nonchalant-walk exit. But doing so, he bumps straight into GOLDING who is with HALLER and HUMBERT who are coming in. GOLDING stares at him, threatening.

I’m really sorry, Golding. I wasn’t looking, I…

GOLDING. It’s all right, mate. You just touched me, that’s all.

You just bumped into my shoulder.

I mean – it wasn’t necessary. You should have been paying more attention. I’ll survive.

KINGSLEY. I’m sorry, Golding.

GOLDING nods at KINGSLEY. KINGSLEY goes. GOLDING opens his bag. During this scene, we see that ELLIS craves GOLDING’s attention – but GOLDING barely acknowledges her.

GOLDING. Sardines. Gungo peas. Olive oil.

He gets out two bottles of red wine.

Sainsbury’s finest.

Everybody squeals in excitement. This is brilliant.

Whole day like a lucky charm.

BLAIR. Where you get them?

HUMBERT. Old pub. Other ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title page
• Contents
• Introducing Multiplay Drama
• Original Production
• Characters
• The Red Helicopter
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information