ONE
CAIN and JONJO ā both in green tracksuits. JONJO has white, prison-issue daps on. CAIN his own trainers and a plastic rosary hung about his neck.
CAIN, a wiry bundle of energy, loiters at the door, peering through the small window.
JONJO, big and wounded, sits passively on a chair, waiting.
CAIN. And you donāt go in there, right? Nowhere round pool table. Not unless you want Saleem and his lot to slap you about and you donāt want that, fucking believe me so just you steer clear altogether.
On twos you, yeah? Who do I know up there? You met Ryan Buckley? Heās alright, la. Just donāt say nothing to him about his eye, cus heās sensitive as fuck about it and he will smash yer head in.
What did you do to get in here, anyway?
JONJO. ,
CAIN. They moved me down from Glen Parva when it closed down. I was gonna get out but then this fucking prick Isan, Greek or summat he was, starts telling everyone he saw me crying after visits, telling every fucker he can that he saw me crying, which is bang out of order, thereās some things you just donāt joke about, so I boiled me kettle and stuck a load of sugar in it but this screw caught me with it just before I could chuck it in his face.
The fucking prick.
CAIN goes back to the window, craning to see down the hall.
He bangs on the door to get attention.
I havenāt got all fucking day, like. Whoās that? Zahid, you nonce. Zahid, Zahid. Zahid, in here.
You know theyāre doing carpentry? Fuck. I wish I was doing carpentry. Apparently, I canāt be trusted around tools. Thatās what they said. It was one fucking screwdriver, lad. And they never even found it so how did they even know it was me who nicked it? They never. Could have been anyone but itās always me that gets picked on.
You donāt think I was crying, do yer? I wasnāt. And if I was itās only cus my sister had been and my nephew, right, her kid, who Iāve not actually ever met to be fair but thatās beside the point, got diagnosed with this really rare type of brain thingy⦠whatever. So if I was, which I wasnāt, then it was cus of that which is fucking fair enough if you ask ā
The door partially opens, catching their attention.
It slams back again. The sound of a commotion filters through from the other side.
CAIN rushes to watch.
Thatās it, mate. Fucking have him. Go on, do him. John. Johnny. John. John. Ah, yer prick.
Broken up. See any of that? Always gets broken up in about two seconds. Was you even watching? Got to fight differently in here, la. Get in and do as much damage as you can, quick as possible, right? Biting, punching, kicking, fucking whatever. Like a whirlwind. I must have had fifty fights at Parva, at least. They were gonna star me up but then it closed down anyway and I got sent here.
He was never gonna win that. Johnnyās all fucking show, man. Iād knock him out. Youād probably have him.
CAIN pulls out a bag of sweets from his pocket.
Mind you. He has done four years so he must have done something pretty fucking mad, like.
CAIN offers a sweet to JONJO.
JONJO shakes his head.
Suit yourself. You get any baccy in here? Iām dying for a ciggy, man.
They pay you for these, you know. Coming to these classes. Fifty pence. Only reason Iām here. If this bird doesnāt show then whatever, like. Iām gonna get some Wine Gums. Or Black Jacks. Thereās always loads of Black Jacks cus most people donāt like āem, but I fucking love āem.
Itās gonna be a breeze, mate. New teacher, I heard. Bet you I can make her cry. Not like full-on cry but you know when their eyes get like all watery. Bet I can do that. At Parva I made four teachers quit, they had to get the top lad down to teach classes.
This your first time? Iāve been loads. Basically at home here. They should fucking name the wing after me. The Cain Walters Wing. Got a nice ring to it, eh?
CAIN clicks his fingers in front of JONJO.
Throws a sweet at him, it bounces off his head.
Yer gonna have to say something to someone⦠sometime. I donāt care if you donāt wanna talk to me, whatever, but some lads might think youāre ignoring āem and smash you up anyway.
You thick or something? Donāt matter to me but seems if youāre a mong you probably shouldnāt be here. Theyāve got a whole special unit for window-lickers and that.
At Parva there was this one kid, what was he called, donāt matter, he got a tattoo right here on his head, cus he thought itād make him look hard but honestly it just made him look a right twat, and they ended up just using it as a target when they smacked him really ā
JONJO. I m-miss my dog.
CAIN. Fuck me, it speaks. I was beginning to think maybe you was foreign or summat. What did you say? Your dog? What type of dog you got?
JONJO. ,
CAIN. I had a dog. A Staffy. Found him in someoneās shed fucking chained to the lawnmower. So, me and my mate Danny went home and got the bolt cutters, cut the chain off and set fire to the cuntās shed for a laugh. And as payback for him being a top dickhead and chaining the dog up in there. Took the dog home. Called him Thor. You know? Like off Marvel. Have you not seen Thor: Ragnarok? Mate. Itās sick. You must have seen Infinity War. Fuck. Have you seen Endgame?
Kept him for three years, then he got like this lump in his neck and I couldnāt afford the operation so the vet had to put him down. Little fucker.
Whoās your PO? I got Herring. Heās a fucking prick. I hate him.
RIYAD, coiled like a spring, enters.
CAIN moves away instinctively ā giving him space.
RIYAD. Whatās your star sign?
CAIN. What?
RIYAD. Your star sign, blud. Aries and Capri-Sun and what not. All that shit.
CAIN. I dunno. Why?
RIYAD. Whenās your birthday?
CAIN. Twenty-fifth October.
RIYAD. October⦠Octoberā¦
CAIN. Why? What does that make me?
RIYAD. Iām thinking.
CAIN. Dragon. Iām a dragon.
RIYAD. Nah, thatās the fucking Chinese one. I donāt even know, yano. Fuckās sake. They wonāt let me on a computer.
JONJO. S-scorpio.
RIYAD. Scorpio! Yeah, thatās it ā who the fuck is this?
CAIN. Dunno. He aināt said his name.
RIYAD. Have you asked him?
CAIN. Donāt talk. W...