1.
TOM and SAMAD are mesmerised.
TOM. Where are you in your photo?
SAMAD. Which photo?
TOM. On your profile page?
SAMAD. Oh that. Thatās erm⦠yeah, thatās actually in erm⦠the Bayou, near New Orleans?
TOM. Oh right⦠I could see youāre on a boat soā¦
SAMAD. Yeah, it was erm, this er, day trip I did when I was over there?
TOM. Oh right.
SAMAD. I was there about a year ago?
TOM. On holiday?
SAMAD. No for work?
Beat.
There were like crocodiles and stuff.
TOM. Really?
SAMAD. Yeah, it was er⦠amazing.
Beat.
Youāre in computers?
TOM. Yeah. I run my own business soā¦
SAMAD. I saw that. Wow. How long have you been doing that?
TOM. Four years, coming up for four years?
SAMAD. Uh-huh.
Beat.
TOM. Youāre in publishingā¦
SAMAD. Yeah the company I worked for recently folded, but erm, normally, yeahā¦
TOM. Uh-huh.
Beat.
What was that other photo? There was another one on there of some enormous fly that had landed on your shoe?
SAMAD. Oh yeah⦠there was this er⦠bug⦠so I took a picture.
TOM. What was it?
SAMAD. Erm⦠a kind of dragonfly I think? Iām not sure really.
Beat.
And is it a gig youāre at in your one?
TOM. Yeah itās a festival I was at last summer. I went with some friends from school.
SAMAD. Oh I think I saw them in the photo.
TOM. Yeah, thatās Mark and Jonny, they were just down for the weekendā¦
SAMAD. Right.
Beat.
Where was the gig?
TOM. O2.
SAMAD. Right.
Beat.
Iāve not been there.
TOM. Itās alright.
Beat.
So what happened?
SAMAD. When?
TOM. With your leg?
SAMAD. Oh. Twisted it. Pulled a ligament.
TOM. How?
SAMAD. Surfing?
TOM. Ouch.
SAMAD. I mean I donāt normally surf. It was a friendās stag do. And then I was walking around on it that evening, thinking it was okayā¦
TOM. Yeah.
SAMAD. And then it blew up.
TOM. Ooo.
SAMAD. I mean itās alright now.
TOM. Is it?
SAMAD. But at the timeā¦
TOM. Yeah.
SAMAD. It was agony.
Beat.
It sort of came out of nowhere. One minute I was up on the board, you know, high as a kiteā¦
TOM. Yeah.
SAMAD. And the nextā¦
SAMAD makes a quick weird sound and gesture.
TOM. Mmm.
Pause.
SAMAD. And they say ligaments donāt really heal properly soā¦
Beat.
TOM. You didnāt tear it did you?
SAMAD. No no they said I pulled it.
TOM. Well, I think if youād torn it, that would be pretty bad but / sinceā¦
SAMAD. No, it was a pull, I pulled it.
TOM. Youāll probably be okay then⦠I pulled a ligament and it took about two months to heal so itāll probably be the same for you.
Beat.
Genetically I mean.
SAMAD. Oh right yeah course⦠yeah.
Pause.
TOM. Have they given you some exercises to do?
SAMAD. Exercises?
TOM. Physio?
SAMAD. No.
TOM. You need to get onto your GP. Get some physio. Otherwise it wonāt heal properly.
SAMAD. Oh right.
TOM. You donāt want it to heal stretched.
SAMAD. Stretched?
TOM. Your ligamentās like a cable? Thereās lots of little strands, and when you pull it, youāre basically tearing lots of those little strands?
SAMAD. Uh-huh.
TOM. And if the ligament heals in a stretched way, it will mean that the joint can move in ways itās not meant to, because the ligament is too loose? And that will be painful, and cause you all sorts of problems.
SAMAD. Oh shit.
TOM. So you just need to get some physio.
SAMAD. Okay.
TOM. I know someone. If you need it. But you should be able to get it through your GP for free.
SAMAD. Iāll call them yeah thanks.
Beat.
What happened with you?
TOM. Huh?
SAMAD. You said your ligament had alsoā¦
TOM. Oh. A crash.
SAMAD. Oh right.
TOM. It was a race, so. And I crashed.
SAMAD. Oh no.
TOM. Strictly speaking I got crashed into.
SAMAD. Oh God. What sort of race?
TOM. Ironman?
SAMAD. Ironman?
TOM. Two-and-a-half-mile swim, hundred-and-twelve-mile bike ride, and then a marathon?
SAMAD. All in one day?
TOM. Yeah.
SAMAD. Thatās amazing.
TOM. It was fucking soul-destroying. I came off on the last...