A Handful of Stars

Billy Roche

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9781848423992
• eBook ISBN: 9781788502214
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

A gripping but warm-spirited snapshot of life in a small southern Irish town.

In the sleepy Irish town of Wexford, where shotgun weddings are outnumbered only by random acts of violence, the pool hall is Jimmy's sanctuary. But will such a place embrace his bright ambition, or bring it down, burning, to the ground?

Originally part of Billy Roche's The Wexford Trilogy, A Handful of Stars was first performed in 1988 at the Bush Theatre, where it won the John Whiting Award and the Plays and Players Award for Best New Play.

This edition was published alongside the play's first professional stand-alone revival at Theatre503, London. The text of the play is also available in The Wexford Trilogy.

ACT ONE

Scene One

The Club with PADDY opening up the awkward window shutters. When this is done he gets some cue chalk from an old wooden box perched on the ledge and lays three or four squares along the pool table, evenly spaced apart. Then he gets a bottle of Dettol from the cardboard box under the seat and begins sprinkling it around the place, going in through the toilet door to sprinkle some in there, flushing the toilet, coming back coughing, tossing the empty bottle into the waste paper basket. Now he stands and takes a good look at the place, raising up his peaked cap with his thumb and scratching his head. We hear someone knocking on the door and shouting out PADDY’s name. When PADDY does eventually open the front door JIMMY and TONY come rushing in, both of them trying to make it first to the pool table, nearly knocking poor PADDY down in the rush.

PADDY (annoyed). Mind up there the hell out of that. (He sees the two boys tugging for the best cue.) Hey cut out the trickactin’ there now.

TONY gives up the struggle and settles for the bad cue.

JIMMY (putting in the money). What kept yeh Paddy? We thought you were after goin’ on strike. Set ’em up there Tony. Were you at the pictures or what Paddy? Heads or harps?

PADDY (still going about his business, doing little jobs). Yeah. I went up as far as the first house.

TONY. I’m breakin’ Jimmy. You broke last night.

JIMMY. Heads or harps?

TONY. Heads.

JIMMY (tosses the coin onto the back of his hand). Hard luck. Ha ha ha . . . set ’em up. Was it any use Paddy?

PADDY (standing on the chair to turn on the outside lights). Naw.

JIMMY (chalking his cue). Hey Tony straighten ’em up there a bit will yeh? Now you’re learnin’. Come out of me way now.

JIMMY belts the ball into the bunch a little too aggressively for PADDY’s liking.

PADDY. Hey boy, be careful there.

JIMMY. What’s wrong with yeh Paddy?

PADDY. That’s a brand new cloth on that table. Tear it and it’ll cost yeh.

JIMMY. Will you go away and don’t be annoyin’ yourself Paddy.

PADDY stops in his tracks and throws the boy a dirty look. JIMMY doesn’t even bother to respond. PADDY goes across to the door leading into the back room and pulls the keys out of his pocket. When he opens up the door TONY’s head whips around. PADDY goes inside and TONY rambles over to take a peep in at the room. PADDY closes the door over in his face. JIMMY, spying that TONY is miles away, tries to steal an extra shot.

TONY. Hey Jimmy it’s my shot. What are you wantin’, them all or somethin’?

JIMMY. My go. I just potted a ball didn’t I?

TONY. Where?

JIMMY (chancing his arm). Look come out of me way will yeh.

TONY. You did in me shit pot a ball. Go away yeh chancer.

JIMMY (conceding). Alright then, go on.

TONY. I’m not coddin’ yeh boy you’re the biggest chancer I ever met. I’m goin’ to keep an eye on you in future. How am I supposed to play with this auld yoke anyway?

JIMMY. Look stop whingein’ and fire.

TONY. I don’t see why I should always end up with the bad cue.

PADDY comes out of the back room carrying a toilet roll. JIMMY has played a record on the jukebox. PADDY winces, puts the toilet roll on the ledge and goes across to plug out the jukebox. It stops with a jerk.

JIMMY. Hey Paddy, what’s goin’ on?

PADDY (climbing from his knees). You know well enough that you’re not allowed to play the jukebox after half eight.

JIMMY. But sure yeh weren’t here Paddy, were yeh?

PADDY. Yeh know the rules.

JIMMY. But sure how am I supposed to play the jukebox if the place is not open?

PADDY ignores him as he wonders where it was he put the toilet roll.

Alright then Paddy just give us me money back and we’ll say no more.

PADDY throws him a dirty look. PADDY finds the toilet roll and heads towards the toilet. JIMMY imitates his walk, making TONY splutter and miscue the ball. JIMMY spots it and pounces on the chance.

Hey Tony that counts as a shot.

TONY. Aw no you made me laugh that time. (Trying to hold JIMMY at bay.)

JIMMY. Come out of it Tony and stop actin’ the cannatt. Hey Paddy this lad is cheatin’ out here.

TONY. No, fair is fair Jimmy, you made me laugh that time.

JIMMY. That’s your hard luck Tony. Come out of it.

The two boys have a tugging match over the table with JIMMY shoving TONY and TONY holding on to the edge of the table for dear life. Enter STAPLER, carrying a handy black bag over his shoulder.

TONY (panting). How’s it goin’ Stapler?

STAPLER. How’s the men? Actin’ the bollocks again are yeh?

JIMMY (giving up the struggle, much to TONY’s surprise). Hey Stapler I heard you’re goin’ back into the ring again.

STAPLER. Oh yes. Old Twinkle Toes is back.

JIMMY. Any fights lined up?

STAPLER. Yeah. I’m fightin’ young Harpur tomorrow night sure.

JIMMY. Who? Eddie Harpur? He’s good, boy.

STAPLER. He is. He’s a good chap alright.

TONY. He’ll be no match for our Stapler though.

STAPLER starts to skip on the spot and begins to shadow box, accelerating into a frenzy of rapid punches and blinding combinations. He has a dead serious expression on his face and his eyes seem to be staring into the eyes of the ghost of his opponent – dancing around after him, pushing him into the corner etc.

JIMMY. Oon the Stapler, you’re kickin’ the laird out of him now alright.

STAPLER lets his arms dangle as if the fight is over and looks across at the boys for approval.

TONY (standing over the floored body of the make-believe opponent). You knocked him as dead as a cock, Stapler.

STAPLER. What are yeh lookin’ down there for Tony? Up there he is. Hey Paddy, scrape that lad off the ceilin’ there will yeh.

PADDY, coming from the toilet doorway throws his eyes to heaven, shivers with the cold and goes across to the stove.

JIMMY. Oon Stapler me boy. What do yeh think of him Paddy?

PADDY sighs and throws his eyes to heaven.

STAPLER. You can’t keep a good man down, ain’t that right Paddy?

PADDY (sighs and mumbles). Huh you’ll get sense so yeh will. Thirty-three years of age . . .

STAPLER (a little embarrassed). Were any of yeh at the pictures?

JIMMY. Paddy was.

STAPLER. Any use Paddy?

PADDY (kneeling beside the stove). Naw. Bloody hopeless. That’s cold. What’s wrong with that now I wonder.

STAPLER. I’m surprised at that then. That Robert Ryan is usually good. I love him actin’.

TONY. Yeah, he’s a queer smily fecker ain’t he?

STAPLER. What? Oh yeah he’s kind of sleazy lookin’ alright. Good though.

JIMMY. I think we saw that picture before, Tony.

TONY. No, I never saw that one.

JIMMY. I’m nearly sure we did. Hey Paddy, is your man all dressed in black?

PADDY. Yeah.

JIMMY. And does he ride a deadly white horse?

PADDY. Yeah.

JIMMY. Yeah we saw that one alright Tony. Do you remember? He gets shot right between the eyes in the end.

TONY. Don’t tell me. I’m wantin’ to go and see it tomorrow night.

JIMMY. Sure I’m tellin’ yeah we saw it before. Does your man get killed in the end Paddy?

PADDY (still tinkering with the damper of the stove). Yeah. The girl shoots him right between the eyes in the end.

TONY throws his eyes to heaven in disbelief.

STAPLER (moving towards the back room). None of the lads down yet Paddy?

PADDY. No. That’s it now. (He ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• Original Production
• Characters
• A Handful of Stars
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information