eBook - ePub
The Last Noël
About this book
'We'll tell the same old stories, all over again. And we won't complain. Because it's Christmas.'
It's Christmas Day, sort of, and Alice, Mike and Tess – three generations of the one family – are busy preparing a feast, singing songs, spinning yarns and squabbling about snacks… like only a close family can. But someone is missing from the table.
Telling their stories in turns, and breaking off for the odd musical interlude, the family pass the time waiting for Tess's mum to arrive. As they do, we see a picture of how one family forms its traditions – and how those traditions matter most when there are problems on the horizon.
The Last Noël by Chris Bush is a funny, moving, uplifting play with original songs. An innovative festive drama, it captures the unique bonds of family and how coming together to share stories and a meal can be a modern Christmas miracle.
It was first produced in 2019 by Attic Theatre Company and Arts at the Old Fire Station on a tour of venues around London, before a Christmas run at the Old Fire Station in Oxford.
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Yes, you can access The Last Noël by Chris Bush in PDF and/or ePUB format, as well as other popular books in Literature & British Drama. We have over one million books available in our catalogue for you to explore.
Information
A kitchen/living space decked out in Christmas finery. The decorations on display have been accumulated over decades. This is a warm and practical space which gets plenty of use.
A feast is being prepared. ALICE is nominally in charge/ supervising, while MIKE is taking a more hands-on approach. TESS is mostly trying to eat things without getting told off and making sure everything is just the way she likes it.
As the audience are seated, they might be offered drinks/snacks, and recruited to help with peeling potatoes, prepping canapés, etc. Perhaps they’re encouraged to join in with a festive sing- song, and/or their opinions might be sought on various contentious Christmas matters – sprouts or no sprouts? Presents before or after dinner? The Snowman or the Queen’s Speech? Each family member is delighted when they find someone who agrees with them, and there’s a friendly rivalry between them. The most important thing is that the audience are our guests, and they’re made to feel welcome.
Once everyone is settled, music shifts into the opening number.
Song: ‘It’s Christmas’
MIKE. IT ISN’T ABOUT
WHETHER YOU LIKE SPROUTS
SPROUTS AREN’T THERE FOR YOU TO LIKE THEM
IT’S TRADITION
AND WE COULDN’T DO WITHOUT
IT ISN’T THE TIME
TO PLAY FAST AND LOOSE
WITH YOUR FLAVOUR COMBINATIONS
THE TIME FOR EXPERIMENTATION
IS NOT TODAY
THERE’S AN ANGEL ON THE TREE
I MADE IN 1983
WHEN I WALK IN IF I CAN’T SEE IT
I’LL KICK OFF
IT’S CHRISTMAS
ALICE picks up the song.
ALICE. IT ISN’T ABOUT
WHEN THEY CALLED YOU LAST
THEY DON’T NEED TO GIVE A REASON
’TIS THE SEASON
WHEN WE LEAVE THINGS IN THE PAST
IT ISN’T ABOUT
GETTING EVERYTHING RIGHT
LIFE’S TOO SHORT TO TRY
TO KEEP UP WITH NIGELLA
OR WHOEVER THE HELL
THEY MIGHT BE WATCHING
MINE’S A SHERRY, MINE’S A GIN
TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU COME IN
IS YOUR NAME JESUS –
WERE YOU BROUGHT UP IN A BARN?
ALICE/MIKE. MERRY CHRISTMAS
TESS, dragging a large gym bag full of washing, takes over.
TESS. IT ISN’T ABOUT
SNEAKING OUT
TO THE PUB TO SEE YOUR MATES
TO HAVE THE SAME OLD CONVERSATIONS
YOU HAD LAST YEAR ANYWAY
IT ISN’T ABOUT
THE ROWING MACHINE
THAT’S APPEARED IN YOUR ROOM
IT FEELS TOO SOON
IT’S ALL TOO SOON
BUT RING THE BELLS AND SING OF CHEER
YES I STILL NEED A STOCKING THIS YEAR
SOME THINGS SHOULD NEVER CHANGE
LIKE CHRISTMAS
The three overlap.
RING OUT THOSE BELLS
MIKE. WHO’S MOVED THE CHESTNUTS?
ALICE. CAN YOU PUT THAT DOWN PLEASE?
TESS. SING OF CHRISTMAS TIME
MIKE. MUM? MUM! MUM?!
ALICE. THEY’RE FOR LATER
TESS. AND ALL THE TREATS WE ONLY GET
AND DO WE HAVE THE BISCUITS THAT I LIKE?
MIKE. I JUST HAD THEM
ALICE. AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?
ALL. RING OUT THOSE BELLS
SING OF CHRISTMAS TIME
AND ALL THE STUPID LITTLE THINGS
THAT MEAN THE WORLD TO US
THAT’S CHRISTMAS.
Song ends. They address the audience.
ALICE. Today –
TESS. [States today’s date.]
MIKE. Today is Christmas Day.
TESS. Admittedly not the traditional date associated with
Christmas Day, but –
ALICE. But this year, this is when it falls.
MIKE. In our family we have a roving Christmas – a bit like
Easter, how Easter fluctuates depending on… on…
TESS. Go on.
MIKE. Y’know, equinoxes? Or…
TESS. Uh-huh.
MIKE. Lunar, um… Whitsun, solstice… I don’t know. Mum?
ALICE shrugs.
Right. Anyway, not the point. Oh, but should we – ?
ALICE. What?
MIKE. Introductions?
ALICE. Yes. Right. Hello – I’m Alice – this is my son
Michael –
MIKE. Mike –
ALICE. My granddaughter Tessa.
TESS. And he’s – (Re: MIKE.) my uncle, not my dad, just to –
MIKE. Yep. And the person missing – the person we’re waiting for – is Gail, who is my big sister, and – (Re: TESS.) her mum, and – (Re: ALICE.) her daughter. And –
TESS. And waiting for my dad too.
MIKE. Yeah. I mean I think we all care a little bit less about him, but –
TESS. Nice.
MIKE. But – but actually the pair of them are the reason for all this. The roving Christmas is all her fault, basically.
ALICE. Don’t.
MIKE. It is.
ALICE. It is not.
TESS. No, it sort of is. You see when your mum is a doctor and your dad is a paramedic you learn to be a bit more flexible with your holiday dates.
ALICE. We never know when we’re going to be able to get everyone in the same room together, so –
MIKE. And of course the rest of us are expected to just drop everything and make ourselves available.
TESS. You work from home.
MIKE. That’s not the point.
TESS. Pretty sure it is.
ALICE. Let’s not bicker.
MIKE. My time is just as important as –
TESS. Is it though?
ALICE. Anyway. The point is we find a date where everyone’s available –
MIKE. We’re told.
ALICE. And that becomes our Christmas. And in a way, it makes it more special.
TESS. Really doesn’t when you’re eight, but –
ALICE. Because Christmas is, ultimately, Christmas is about –
MIKE. Christmas was ...
Table of contents
- Cover
- Title page
- Contents
- Original Production
- Dedication
- Foreword
- Characters
- The Last Noël
- Music
- About the Author
- Copyright and Performing Rights Information