Halfway Normal

Barbara Dee

• Publisher: Aladdin
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN: 9781481478526
• eBook ISBN: 9781481478533

"A lovely, heartbreaking, warm, funny, and ultimately hopeful map of the way back home." —Jordan Sonnenblick, author of Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie A cancer survivor must readjust to "normal" middle school life in this "powerful story about surviving and thriving" ( School Library Journal, starred review) from the author of Star-Crossed and Truth or Dare. Norah Levy has just completed two years of treatment for leukemia and is ready to go back to the "real world" of middle school. She knows it'll be tricky—but like the Greek mythological characters she read about while she was sick, Norah's up for any challenge.But seventh grade turns out to be harder than she thought. Norah's classmates don't know what to make of her. Her best friend, Harper, tries to be there for her, but she doesn't get it, really—and is hanging out with a new group of girls. Norah's other good friend, Silas, is avoiding her. What's that about, anyway?When Norah is placed with the eighth graders for math and science, she meets Griffin, a cute boy who encourages her love of Greek mythology and art. And Norah decides not to tell him her secret—that she was "that girl" who had cancer. But when something happens to make secret-keeping impossible, Norah must figure out a way to share her story.But how do you explain something to others that you can't explain to yourself? Can Nora take her cue from her favorite Greek myth? And then, once she finds the words, can she move forward with a whole new "normal?"

THE GIRL WHO

The second I stepped into the room, somebody screamed.

I turned to look behind me—for a rock star, or a grizzly bear, or the Loch Ness Monster. But no one was following.

The scream was for me.

“Norah Levy! Omigod! It’s Norah Levy!” Two girls jumped up from their chairs to smother me in a hug. Kylie Shen and Aria Maldonado, who smelled like bubblegum-scented shampoo. Or shampoo-scented bubblegum.

“Hey, hi,” I managed to say.

They pulled away.

“Omigod, Norah, this is so great, how are you?” Kylie squealed. She had the kind of voice that took over a room, even though she was tiny. Not as tiny as me, though.

“Pretty good, actually,” I said.

“Well, you look amazing,” Aria said. She gave me a pep-talk sort of smile and bounced on her toes.

“Incredible,” Kylie agreed. “And I love your hair!”

“Yeah, Norah, you look so cute in a pixie cut.”

I ruffled my hair, much shorter than it used to be, but finally long enough to be a style. “Thanks. It dries really fast. And no tangles, so.”

“I wish my mom would let me get a short haircut,” Aria said. Which was insane. Besides, with her warm brown skin and her height, no way could Aria look like me, even if she got permission.

“Everyone, please take your seats,” boomed the homeroom teacher, a man I didn’t know from before. A gym teacher, by the look of his track pants.

Kylie grabbed my arm. “You’re sitting with us, Norah,” she informed me.

“Hey, aren’t you the girl who—” Now a boy I didn’t recognize was talking to me. Oh, wait a sec. Right. His name was Malik. Malik Thrash. As if it was possible to forget a name like that.

“Malik, don’t be rude,” Aria snapped at him.

“I’m not rude,” he protested. “How was I being rude?”

“You shouldn’t make Norah talk about it.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Yes, I’m definitely The Girl Who.”

“That’s so funny. The Girl Who. I like that!” Kylie laughed, a little too enthusiastically.

Malik looked confused. “Sorry, Norah. I just didn’t expect to see you. I heard—”

Aria and Kylie popped their eyes at him.

“People should shut their mouths if they don’t know what they’re talking about,” Kylie said. “And they should also consider other people’s feelings.” She petted my arm. “Don’t pay any attention to him, Norah.”

“It’s fine,” I said.

I realized then that everyone was watching us. Delete that: They were watching me. Mostly, they were giving me out-of-the-corner-of-their-eyes looks, like they were trying to be subtle, but a few kids were flat-out staring. So I wiggled my fingers in a sort of general hi, but they got embarrassed and turned away.

What was that about? Were they doing a before-and-after? Maybe I looked weirder than I thought I did. I patted my hair with a sweaty hand and tugged at my orange tee. Why hadn’t I protested when Mom bought me orange? And why had I put it on this morning? I looked like a Cheeto in a hazmat suit.

Then I pretended to read my schedule. First period was math, where at least I’d be with my best friend, Harper. (I knew this because I’d texted her the second my schedule showed up in my mailbox; she called back to tell me gossip about all the teachers, including how our math teacher handed out Smarties during tests.) My other good friend, Silas, wasn’t in math with us, but maybe we’d be together in English or science. So if I could just make it through morning homeroom—

“Norah Levy?” the homeroom teacher called as he hung up the classroom phone. “You’re wanted in Guidance.”

“Now?” I glanced at the clock. “But it’s almost first period.”

“Right. Ms. Castro says she needs to see you before first.”

“You want me to come with you, Norah?” Aria asked.

I looked at her. “What for?”

“Just . . . you know, so you don’t get lost.”

“I can find it. But thanks.” I stuffed my schedule into my backpack. In some zippered pocket was a map of the building, but I’d check it in the hallway. Not here.

“Whoa, your backpack looks heavy,” Malik said. “If you want, Norah, I could help—”

“Nope, thanks, got it,” I said.

A girl moved her chair out of the way to let me pass. “Sorry,” she murmured. Apologizing for what? The fact that her chair had been in my way, and now wasn’t? The fact that everyone was acting like I was made of cloud wisps and dandelion fluff, and one false move and I’d blow away forever?

“No problem,” I said, feeling the scorch of everyone’s eyes as I fled the room.

ALL BEHIND YOU NOW

Some nights in the hospital when I couldn’t sleep, I played a game called Room. The way you played was: You picked a real room from real life and tried to name as many details as possible. This was so boring it usually put you to sleep right away, which of course was the whole point of the game.

Although once in a while it didn’t work—and you ended up wasting hours and hours just lying there, thinking about the room you’d picked, listing all the chairs and ceiling cracks and books on the bookshelves. And then, if you ever did return to that room, you still had a weird feeling about it in your stomach. Like: Why did you keep me up all night, Room? What did I ever do to you, anyway?

The funny thing was, this was exactly how I felt as I sat in Ms. Castro’s office. She was the seventh grade guidance counselor, so obviously I couldn’t have been in her office before this very minute. All the details here were completely new to me: the cute baby animal posters. The puzzles and the fidget toys. The red geraniums along the windowsill. So there was no reason to feel that the room was against me; really, I could tell it was trying hard to welcome me.

“Norah Levy?” A tall, plump woman with shoulder-length no-color hair and complicated earrings suddenly burst in and was giving a damp hug that smelled like coffee. No reason to still be sensitive to smells, the doctors said. It’s just in your head by now, Norah.

The woman finally released me. “I’m Ms. Castro, your guidance counselor. And let me say I couldn’t be happier to see you back here!”

Which was an odd thing to say, considering she’d never seen me before this minute.

“Thanks. I’m really so glad to be back. Well, not back,” I corrected myself. “I mean, back at school.”

“Yes,” she said, fixing large, sympathetic eyes on me. “I can’t even imagine what the last two years have been like for you.”

I nodded. If it wouldn’t sound snarky, I’d tell her she was right: Yes, you couldn’t imagine. But probably better just to nod.

“And how are you?” She cocked her head. I knew this question and the head-cock from several moms in our neighborhood. It meant: But how are you REALLY? You can tell ME.

“Okay,” I said. “Maybe a little tired.”

“Oh, and how could you not be! With what your body has been through.” She shook her head, jangling her earrings. “Well, it’s all behind you now.”

All behind me. I kept nodding, because what else could I do?

“Although let me give you some advice, Norah: Take it slow. Anytime you need to rest during the day, just go to the nurse’s office or come here. Everybody understands! And if they don’t, tell me, and I’ll be happy to explain, all right?”

“Thanks,” I said.

But I was thinking: You haven’t said it yet. How could you explain me to anyone if you couldn’t even say the word?

I had CANCER, Ms. Castro. The gods don’t zap you with it if you say it out loud.

“It’s no problem, Norah, believe me.” She clasped her hands on her chest. “And you’re finding everything all right?”

“Well, my map got me to the guidance office. So yeah.” I tried a smile. On the long list of Weird Things I Had to Deal With, one was the fact that while my classmates had been here since fifth grade, I’d spent the last two years either at the hospital or at home. So while I wasn’t new to most of the other kids, I was new to this building. Also new to middle school in general, but that was another thing.

“Ah, perfect! So you won’t need this map I printed.” Ms. Castro swiveled her chair toward her desk, which was crowded with family vacation photos: a bearded guy, Ms. Castro, and three kids hiking, swimming, skating, rafting. All of them flashed big white teeth as they squinted into the sun. They looked like they never even got the sniffles.

“Let’s see what other goodies I have for you!” Now Ms. Castro was sorting through a stack of papers. “Oh yes, you’ll be happy to hear I’ve arranged for you to have an elevator key!”

That surprised me, because my legs worked just fine. “What for?” I asked.

“Only to conserve your energy. Your homeroom is up on the third floor, and so are a few of your classes. And the stairs are always very crowded. So this way—”

“Oh, but I’d much rather use the stairs.”

“You sure, dear? There’s no shame in using the elevator.”

“I’m not ashamed. I just really don’t need it.”

Maybe my voice sounded too sharp. She blinked at me. “Well, I’ll keep the key card here for you, just in case you change your mind.”

But I won’t, I thought.

Ms. Castro opened a desk drawer and slipped the key card inside. Then she popped a mint Tic Tac into her mouth, offering me one, which I didn’t take. How did she not know that kids didn’t eat mint Tic Tacs, that they were a grown-up thing? If you’re a guidance counselor, you should know stuff like that.

“All right, next item,” she said. “On Friday, I had a long chat with your tutor. It sounds like Ayesha worked you very hard, especially in math and science.”

Just hearing my tutor’s name made me smile. “Yeah, but we read a lot too. The Golden Compass, everything by Rick Riordan, The Chronicles of Narnia, the Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Alice in Wonderland, a whole bunch of Greek myths—”

Ms. Castro smiled. “She says you ‘impressed the pants off her.’ ”

Now I was grinning. Working with Ayesha was the only good thing about the past two years. She was the coolest person I’d ever met, and ridiculously smart. Not only that, but she understood me. She’d been me, or a patient like me, when she was thirteen, so everything I was going through—all the is-this-a-bad-dream-or-am-I-awake stuff—was totally familiar to her.

“Anyway,” Ms. Castro continued, exhaling mint fumes, “after taking a long look at your test scores, and considering what you covered with Ayesha, we’re wondering if it makes s...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Dedication
• Chapter 1: The Girl Who
• Chapter 2: All Behind You Now
• Chapter 3: Nice Haircut
• Chapter 4: Doodles
• Chapter 5: Lucky Me
• Chapter 6: All Better Now
• Chapter 7: Friendship Bracelet
• Chapter 8: Best Part of The Day
• Chapter 9: The Whole Story
• Chapter 10: The Full Experience
• Chapter 11: Hydra
• Chapter 12: Ready for Flight
• Chapter 13: Something I Need to Tell You
• Chapter 14: Sort of Hiding
• Chapter 15: Unexplained Absence
• Chapter 16: Silly Putty
• Chapter 17: What You Say
• Chapter 18: Bad Hair Day
• Chapter 19: The Social Thing
• Chapter 20: Earrings
• Chapter 21: Spider-Girl
• Chapter 22: Kraken
• Chapter 23: Girl Talk
• Chapter 24: Cyclops
• Chapter 25: All About Feelings
• Chapter 26: A Pair of Green Dragons
• Chapter 27: Hera
• Chapter 28: Evil Bug
• Chapter 29: Pink
• Chapter 30: Captivity
• Chapter 31: Q and A
• Chapter 32: Rock Star
• Chapter 33: Whoosh
• Chapter 34: Persephone
• Chapter 35: The Dog
• Chapter 36: Pomegranate
• Chapter 37: Omigods: Speech Day in Ms. Farrell’s Second Period English Class
• Chapter 38: Loch Ness Monster
• Chapter 39: Underworld
• Acknowledgments
• About the Author
• Copyright