THE BEGINNING
Two Thousand and Five
arie could recall a time when it felt good to be held, rockedâdaytime, nighttime, âall around the town timeâ in her motherâs honeysuckle arms. No one else had had the sweet scent. She didnât recognize it until she came to New Orleans. Where did her mother ever get it? Honeysuckle during Chicago winters? Year after year? In and out of season?
In the South, honeysuckle bloomed year-round. The scent was cloying, overwhelming. Even the bees seemed irritated by the smell.
But this newborn baby smelled like the flower. Delicate. Like her mother.
Sometimes Marie had felt their roles were reversed: she, the grown-up; her mother, the child. Sweet, withdrawn, her mother often seemed in another world. Humming off-key in a distant place where it never snowed, money wasnât needed, and where she didnât clean houses, collect bottles for pennies, and didnât sew or patch their clothes.
When Marie hurt most, when school kids taunted her about her worn shoes, ketchup sandwiches, and her crazy, muttering mother, it was the memory of her motherâs sweet aroma that calmed her.
Saturdays, when her mother went to St. Teresaâs Retirement Home to wipe tired bodies, change bedpans, sheets, and listen to old nunâs stories, Marie would lie in her motherâs bed, inhaling her warm scent, whiling away the hours pretending her mother was home, rich enough to put her feet up and be bored on a Saturday.
Her mother said she went to St. Teresaâs for penance, but, afterward, she was always pleased when the nuns gave her beans, rice, a can of Spam. Theyâd have a feast on Sunday. Her mother, stirring red beans, smelling of honeysuckle; she, Marie, reading a book, and theyâd pretend they were safe, secure, and happy.
* * *
The moment Marie walked into pediatric intensive care, she could pick out the scent. She wondered if anybody else could. During breaks, after work, before work, she stared into the babyâs bright, glassy eyes. Inhaling the aroma, she thought she was drowning, seeing her motherâs face.
Marie went to Maison Blanche, the cityâs finest department store. They had myriad perfumes blended with flowers, chemicals, and oils, but none of them, pure honeysuckle.
At night when policemen were riding stallions at the other end of the park, Marie plucked honeysuckle from vines where it grew wild, untamable. Sometimes it shivered in the night air, and Marie felt the blooms were alive, offering themselves to her. Using an old pharmacistâs pestle, she ground the flowers until they yielded droplets of heaven.
Marie dabbed honeysuckle behind her ears, along her cleavage. She felt comfortedâeven though her dreams hadnât lessened, even though each morning, she woke in a sweat, on the verge of screaming.
She wanted to confide in El, to tell her about her strange dreams, about the babyâs sweet scent.
But El always warned, âIt ainât your baby.â
* * *
Marie couldnât help the hours spent holding the motherless child. Before shifts, during breaks, after work.
Each day, the infant was getting stronger. Each day, she became more attached, afraid to let go.
âWhatâs going to happen to her?â she asked Antoinette, the social services director.
âFoster care.â
Marie knew what foster care could be like. Indifferent, at best; cruel, at worst. But she imagined someone would rescue the child. The dead motherâs people. Theyâd sweep in, declaring, âThatâs our child. Our family.â
But sometimes, just sometimes, late, when sheâd awakened from her dream, after sheâd fed the baby Similac (when her womb strangely ached, when her lips feathered the babyâs brow with kisses), the thought would hover, echo through her consciousnessâthe child could be hers.
Another black single motherâhow stereotypical.
She didnât have time for a child. Still, she was tempted.
Even the baby seemed to know her. Four pounds, six ounces, at birth, the baby wouldnât feed. A tiny pink tongue spat out the latex nipple. Only Marie could encourage her to start taking a bottle. To suck rather than be fed intravenously. Now six pounds, two ounces, Marie was proud of the babyâs small mound of a belly.
Sometimes the baby cried, wailed like she was dying, pained by some hidden wound. Nobody else could calm her.
Marie was the babyâs medicine.
Something wonderful, magical happened between them. For hours, the child watched her; she watched the child as if no one else in the world existed.
Mon piti bébé. Fais dodo, mon piti bébé.
The babyâs lids would struggle to stay open. But, always, the lilting tune lulled the baby to sleep. The child would go limp like a rag doll. It was startling how the child would go from bright, red rage, fists balled and tears raining down her face, to utter calm. The first couple of times, Marie panicked and unbundled the blanket, unsnapped the undershirt to make certain the lungs were expanding, the chest rising and falling.
Mon piti bébé. Fais dodo. Mon piti bébé.
My little baby. Go to sleep. My little baby.
Except it wasnât accurate French. It shouldâve been Ma petite. âGo to sleepâ shouldâve been âEndors-toi.â It was Creole. Howâd she learn it?
She couldnât remember. She just knew the song. Knew all its verses:
Fais dodo, mon piti bébé.
La lune toute jaune, se lĂšve.
Fais dodo, mon piti bébé.
Quand tu rĂȘveras, rĂȘve des esprits
qui survolent la mer.
Fais dodo, mon piti bébé.
Quand tu te réveilleras, seize ans tu auras.
Réveille-toi mort.
Fais dodo, mon piti bébé, mon piti si doux.
Fais dodo!
It always worked. When sheâd tried the song in English:
Sssh, my little baby. Go to sleep, my little baby.
The moon is yellow, rising high.
Little baby, go to sleep.
When you dream, dream of spirits
flying across the sea.
My little baby, sleep.
When you wake, sixteen youâll be.
Wake yourself from the dead.
Go to sleep, little baby, my pretty baby.
Sleep!
It never worked. The baby cried and cried, gasping for air.
* * *
âWeâll be moving her to the nursery tomorrow.â
Marie shuddered. âHas anyone come to claim her?â
Antoinette shook her head. âTwo weeks, not a word. Not even an ID on the mother.â
Marie buried her nose against the babyâs cheek. She stroked the fragile fingers, the tiny nails.
âYou could name her, you know?â Antoinette dressed like a banker instead of a social worker. Silk suits with clean lines.
âDoesnât seem right.â
âWhy? Are you afraid of keeping her?â
âNo. Afraid of letting her go.â
Marie laid the baby in the bassinet. âDonât worry. Iâll find your people.â She kissed the childâs brow.
* * *
The elevator slid smoothly down.
âYou didnât name her yet, did you?â El didnât look up from the papers at her station. Marie noticed her nails were blue this week.
âWhat can I help with?â Marie put on her white coat, a stethoscope dangling from her pocket. âPneumonia? Fever? Vision impairment? Ears going deaf?â
âDonât name her. If you do, you wonât let her go.â
âI liked it better when you were asking about my love life.â
âSo did I. You got one?â
Marie laughed. âNo.â Then she leaned over the counter, embracing El.
Flustered, El pushed her away.
Marie smiled. âPut me to work, El. Otherwise, Iâll hug you again.â
âSass. Nothing but sass. Red peppers in you.â
âAnd not in you?â
El slapped a clipboard on the counter. It held a pencil and a blank sheet.
âI got an odd one for you. DuLac wants you to help him with a patient. âCourse the boyâs dead, but he said he needed your help.â
âWhat does he think I can do?â
âLord knows. But do I ask the almighty doctor? Last time I checked, he was still the boss.â
âRight. Iâm going.â
âGood. Last urgent care room.â
âThatâs unusual for a dead man.â
âYou bet. Taking up my space,â El grumbled. âStop by later,â she called after Marie. âIâve got a rattle for the baby.â
* * *
Marie stopped at the door. Through the glass, she knew someone was sitting in the corner. Smoke spiraled upward, hovering in a thin layer on the ceiling.
âSmokingâs not allowed. Bad for the patients.â
âI didnât think it much mattered to him.â
Marie was glad her hand was still on the door; it steadied her. She feltâwhat? Recognition? DĂ©jĂ vu?
He was average height like her. More interesting than handsome. Arched brows. High cheekbones like a Choctawâs. Lashes so long, they touched his cheeks when he blinked. His hair was jet black, pulled tight in a ponytail. He was dressed in black shirt, black pants, a leather bomber jacket, and wore a gold cross dangling in his left ear.
Marie exhaled. She realized sheâd been holding herself incredibly still because heâd been still. Like a stop-motion character. Paused. Expectant.
He pinched off the cigarette. Ash was on his index finger and thumb. âIf you say Iâm as still as an Indian, Iâll have to arrest you.â
He drawled. Marie grinned.
âYou know everybody in Louisiana mixed with something. Iâm just a good old southern boy.â
âLike hell.â
âNice to meet you, too.â
Marie shook his hand. âDoctor Levant.â
âReneaux.â
She raised her brow.
âFrenchmen used to own my family. Iâm plain southern, through and through. Work for the New Orleans Police Department.â
âUndercover?â
âNaw. Just a detective.â
âNo uniform? Not even a suit?â
âEven nuns have given up the habit. Donât you get tired of that white coat?â
âVery funny.â
DuLac swept in, snapping his gloves on. Marie flinched at the sound.
âYou two been getting to know one another? Bon. Reneaux i...