There When He Needs You

How to Be an Available, Involved, and Emotionally Connected Father to Your Son

Neil I. Bernstein, Brooke Lea Foster

• Publisher: Atria Books
• Year: 2008
• Print ISBN:
  9781416560920
• Subtopic: Self Improvement
• eBook ISBN:
  9781416559351

Men want to be better fathers, and today they're trying harder than ever. They jog behind strollers, leave work early for parent-teacher conferences, and roughhouse with their kids before they've had a chance to change out of their suits.

But many men aren't building the relationships with their sons that they'd hoped for. And sons are finding it hard to confide in fathers who must devote so much of their time to building careers that both keep them from their families and keep their families comfortable. Many fathers admit that they don't have a clue what's going on in their sons' lives, from ball game schedules to online communities to fears and anxieties about school, friends, and relationships. Fathers often walk around burdened with guilt, worried they're just not able to do the right thing, even though they're trying to be equal partners in parenting with their wives.

There When He Needs You is the first book to tell the truth about the challenges that fathers of sons face today -- including the intergenerational legacies of self-doubt that they anxiously carry from themselves having had distant, unavailable fathers. A self-treatment program as well as a psychological X-ray of today's father, There When He Needs You shows you how to create and strengthen a real, meaningful bond with your son. Through real-life stories of real-life dads who have lost and found their way, you as a father will learn to reorder your priorities, express yourself more openly, connect with your loved ones, and become the role model that your son needs.

Wives will learn how to gently help their husbands do this -- no nagging, threatening, or criticizing -- while becoming their husband's best friend, cheerleader, and coach. Turning the father-son dynamic inside out, There When He Needs You helps fathers, sons, and mothers to understand their roles in the family and create relationships that fuel closeness and trust.

There When He Needs You will open your eyes, tickle your funny bone, and touch your heart. Ultimately, you'll understand what it really means to be a father to your son and discover new ways to be there for him.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Praise
• Colophon
• Also by the Author
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction
• Chapter One: A Dad Is Not a Male Mother: From Half-There Fathers and Peripheral Parents to Good Enough and Better
• Chapter Two: Generational Mistakes: Facing Your Regrets About Your Own Father So You Can Become a Better Dad
• Chapter Three: Sons in Progress: Fathering Through the Developmental Stages
• Chapter Four: What Dads Won’t Say: Fathers’ Secret Fears and How to Face Them
• Chapter Five: Sons Speak Out: When Dads Hurt and Disappoint Them
• Chapter Six: Boys and Their Tech Toys
• Chapter Seven: The Father-Son Competition
• Chapter Eight: Love, Dad: Unlocking the Language of Feelings
• Chapter Nine: The Father Project: A Mother’s Role
• Chapter Ten: Top Ten Fathering Tips
• Acknowledgments
• Index
• ABOUT THE AUTHOR