CHAPTER XI
TEN YEARS OF DREAMS: A SELECTION
THE value of the foregoing remarks derives in large part from the fact that they are based on actual recorded experience, since an ounce of fact is worth a ton of theory. I will now set out a selection from the full accounts I wrote of my dreams, immediately on awakening, during a period of ten years. Some of these dreams have already been quoted from and the full texts are given here so that the reader may judge whether just use has been made of them. For the most part, however, the dreams selected have not previously been cited. They have been chosen as illustrating as wide a range as possible of dream-phenomena; the arrangement is chronological, and the records and comments stand as written at the time, apart from a few name changes.
THE CHESS-MEN
24-25 September, 1915
I was at some place, a sort of peninsula in a lake or river, where an immense number of rich people had set up a sort of summer cityâa street of richly furnished pavilions along the water-front. But the place was breaking up, the pavilions were deserted, and I wandered from one to another seeing no one. In almost all of them there were travelling chess-boards with small bone men made to fit into holes. Presently I came to a pavilion where the name on the door was âMr Arthur Archerâ. I was somehow prepared for this, having (so I thought) noticed this name in some list, and wondered who it was. This pavilion like the rest was deserted, and on the mantelpiece was a set of common wooden chess-men lying tumbled about. A sudden impulse came over me to pocket them, and I hurriedly did so, sweeping up along with them some metal figurines which were mixed among them. Why I did this I cannot guess, for I was perfectly conscious all the time that I had no chess-board and that I hated chess.
Then I went on some way to a very luxurious pavilion at the point of the peninsula; but nothing happened there. I turned back, having decided that I must pick out the metal figures from among the chess-men and replace them. On the way a workman stopped me, produced a yellow ticket and said, with a great deal of voluble explanation, that I must pay ten shillings for it, having no right to enter the peninsula without it. I said, âLook here, my man, I see plainly from your patterâ (I particularly remember using this word) âthat you are trying to swindle me. The next time you want to play such a game, donât make any explanations, but simply demand the money as a matter of course. However, Iâll give you a shillingâ. And I did so, well knowing that it was on account of my evil conscience by reason of the chess-men in my pocket. Then I went back to the Arthur Archer pavilion and was picking out the metal figures when two ladies entered. I was at once certain that one of them was Mrs Arthur Archer, a very dark, Jewish-looking, middle-aged woman. I introduced myself, and made the identity of name an excuse for my desire to borrow her chess-men. I promised faithfully to return them in three days if she would give me her town address; and I said, laughingly, Tm quite willing to make a deposit of ten shillings for themâ. She evidently, with good reason, thought me mad, but made no objection; and the last thing I remember is trying to dissemble the compromising fact that I had the chess-men already in my pocket.
I have not the slightest clue to any of the factors in this dream. I had been thinking of nothing with any relation to the summer-city, âArthur Archer,â the chess-men, or anything. It is rather curious that my mind should have selected the name âArthurâ, for it is perhaps the only one of the commoner names that I never heard associated with the name Archer.
ZEPPELINS AND THE BRITISH MUSEUM
9-10 October, 1915
I was in the British Museum Reading-room when I heard a sort of rattling noise, something like a weak discharge of musketry, or someone rattling a stick along an iron railing. I thought âHullo, hereâs a Zeppelinâ, but I was much reassured when someone in authority in the centre of the room began in a loud voice calling to order the people who were making the noise, though who they were, or how thay made it, I could not see. I woke up wondering whether there had been any outside noise that had occasioned the dream, but all was quite still. This is (so far) the only dream I can remember even remotely concerning Zeppelins since the acute Zeppelin scare began. Long before, at a time when they were only a vague and speculative menace, I remember having a dream of a huge sort of castle in the sky (not in the least like a Zeppelin) from which descended a stream of fire that instantly wiped out the Houses of Parliament and Westminster Abbey. Also I once dreamt of strange flying structures over Paris; but they were British, or at any rate not hostile.
It is to be noted that, in spite of intense preoccupation with the war, I seldom dream of it. During the first two or three months I never dreamed of it at all (to my knowledge).
COUNTESS OF WINCHILSEA
18-19 August, 1916
A curiously rational, consistent dream. With a party of peopleâI donât know who but I fancy Dibdin was oneâI went to visit the hall of some old castle. I remember we each paid the old housekeeper half a crown at the door, and she left us to our own devices. It was a large lofty room with pictures, and in a window-seat sat an enormously tall old lady, reciting or talking to herself. I knew that this was the old Countess of Winchilsea, and that the hall must be hers.
We kept away from her, and presently she left the room by a side door. Then I thought it would be a pity not to introduce myself to her if she would care to see me, so I went to the housekeeper and gave her my card and said I didnât want to force myself on the old lady in any way, but an uncle of mine had been a particular friend of hers, and perhaps she would like to see me. The housekeeper seemed very doubtful. I said âDo you know the present Lord W.?â She said âOf courseâ. âWell,â I said, âI once spent a fortnight at his station in Australia; and I knew Mr Harold tooâ. What happened then I donât know, except that before going to speak to the housekeeper I had laid down my spectacles somewhere and could not find them again. All the bric-a-brac in the room seemed to have turned into spectacles just like mine, so that it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
What was curious was the perfect plausibility of my interview with the housekeeper. I am not sure whether Uncle William was such a friend of Lady W. as I represented him to have been. He certainly knew her; but perhaps I rather mixed up Lady W. with Mrs Sidey.
Apart from this it was all quite true. Why Lady W. (who I suppose is dead) came into my head at all I donât know.
In another dream of the same night I was walking on a Sunday on the Queensferry Road outside Edinburgh, and in a hurry to get back to Edinburgh. A Shoolbred motor-van came along and I asked the driver to give me a lift. He said he always charged a guinea. I said that was too much, but that I would give him half a guinea. This he declined, and I walked on with someone (I donât know who) and found we were much nearer Edinburgh than I supposed. We reached it somehow before the motor-man, and I remember triumphing over him.
MEDLEY
28-29 August, 1916
A very long confused dream, or rather several dreams, though I do not think I awoke between them.
In one I was with Dooie at Athens, or at least a place I believed to be Athens, though it was utterly unlike what I know of Athens. We saw a lot of low ruins, mere foundations, rising only a few inches above the ground, and I said this was evidently a race-course.
Then, still in the same trough-shaped valley, I was driving a motor-car. It seemed I could drive quite well, but did not know the power of the car; for I was always dashing at hills it would not climb and having to turn back. Then I found myself rushing the car (still with Dooie) at an enormous speed along the face of an almost perpendicular bank, so that it seemed inevitable that we must skid and turn over. People shouted to warn me of the danger, but I couldnât help it, and somehow we got through.
In another dream I arrived at the Murraysâ (I presume at Oxford) and found them just going out to some entertainment at a college. I was to follow. The place, Lady Mary said, was âNumber 80 to 90â, and I was ashamed to confess my ignorance of what this meant, and thought my cabman would know. But I found my cabman did not know, and drove me away into the country (to a romantic valley wholly unlike the surroundings of Oxford), and the last thing I remember was despairing of finding the place because I was sure none of the colleges were situated in any such place.
Then I found myself somewhere with an omnibus full of people, to one of whom I repeated A. E. Housmanâs parody of Ăschylusâthe first lines of it, down to âThis well-nightingaled vicinityâ âand we discussed the two Housmans, and agreed that A. E. was much the better man. Then, somehow, all the people in the omnibus (though it was in London) got out to dine, while the omnibus waited for them.
I thought I could not wait but must walk on; and then I found that I was carrying (having picked it up in absence of mind) a very large book of photographs which (as a matter of fact) I had seen yesterday at Wellington House. I thought there was a buff slip clipped to it directing that it should be taken to Bertram Dobellâs in Charing Cross Road, and I set off to take it there, the place I was then in being, I thought, somewhere about Kingsway. But though the book was too large to carry with comfort, I must needs enquire at one or two old bookshops in the neighbourhood for Scottâs Life of Napoleon. At one of them the bookseller produced itâfour large blue volumes, price 6s.âand he pointed out, as enhancing the value, that there was stamped on the back of the first volume, âLicensed for export by H.B.M. Consul, Nagasakiâ. I discussed with someone that was with me the meaning of this, but do not remember who it was, or what theory we arrived at. I looked at the illustrations, which were brightly coloured plates of uniforms, and remember thinking how foolish it was to make all the British soldiers look so refined and intellectual.
When I awoke, I was discussing in my mind (I) whether I could carry the four volumes along with the huge book of photos (2) whether I really wanted to read the Life of Napoleon.
It has, as a matter of fact, often occurred to me that I would like to get hold of Scottâs Life of Napoleon, and see whether it was not readable.
THE SHAVING OF MR SHAW
26-27 October, 1916
One incident in a long dream otherwise forgottenâI met Shaw and Mrs Shaw somewhere and Shaw had shaved his beard and moustache, with the result that his face had become wholly different from what it actually isâa hatchet face with a long sharp nose and rather weak chin. I chaffed him about it and said, âHave you lectured since you shaved? Youâll find that all the magic is gone and you canât take the people inââand some reference to Samson was in my mind, though I donât think I spoke it. Mrs Shaw, by the way, was exactly like herself. What is curious about this is the total lack of any predisposing cause. There was no reason why Shaw should come into my mind any more than anyone else, and still less any reason why I should think of him shaving. I believe the effect produced by his shaving may have been influenced by some reminiscence of the unhappy change made in Hubert Herkomerâs appearance by the same means.
Part of the same dream was that I was wading in a shallow pool which I believed to be Havana harbour, and was alarmed to see a fish which I took to be a shark very near my feet. I took refuge on a large block of pure white marble in the middle of the harbour. I think Shaw and Mrs Shaw were wading too. Some five or six days ago I had been writing about Havana harbour, with reference to Alan Seeger.
ZAFGENGALO ZAG
16-17 January, 1917
A curious instance of the invention of strange names.
At the end of a wholly forgotten dream I found myself reading a newspaper article in the first line of which occurred the name âZafgengalo Zagâ. I remarked to someone standing by (I donât know who) that it was not at all like a Norwegian name (which is very true) and then woke up. This accounts for my being able to remember the name.
TUCCOTINE
24-25 January, 1917
I was at an inn at some watering-place with two or three people, I think relatives of mine, though my sister Annie is the only one I remember clearly. In the evening, the landlady brought in a tray with drinks. For some reason or other, she knew I would not take what the others were taking, so she had brought me a glass of clear blackish brown fluid (like the water from a shingle roof in Australia, but darker) which she said was the specialty of the inn, and called âtuccotineâ. I took a mouthful of it and chokedânot that I thought it exactly nasty, though it wanted sugar. What is a little remarkable is that I woke immediately after with the clear impression of having invented a tasteâthat is, of having experienced a taste which I seemed at the moment of waking to remember quite clearly and which I had never experienced before. The name âtuccotineâ, which came quite glibly from the landladyâs lips, may have been suggested by âseccotineâ; but I am aware of nothing that should bring seccotine to my mind.
AUNT LIZZIE AT ST ANDREWS
14-15 February, 1917
I fell asleep over Boswellâs Hebrides, where he and Johnson are at St. Andrews. In my dream I was at a place which I thought was St Andrewsâ a large building on a hillsideâa maze of corridors and small rooms, ancient but comfortably furnished in modern style. A messenger boy from Wellington House with great difficulty forced himself into my room, carrying a locked glass case within which was a book. This was some book supposed to be contraband, and the glass case was the method adopted by the censorship to deliver itâ and yet prevent it from doing any harm. (This part of the dream may have been vaguely suggested by an odd mistake made by my housekeeper this morning, who had delivered at the Star office some MS. intended for Wellin...