Are We on Drugs?
Bailey and Cletus sit side-by-side, both looking confused.
BAILEY
Something weirdās going on here.
Cletus nods slowly in agreement.
BAILEY
Like things donāt seem real.
CLETUS
Like being in a movie or something.
BAILEY
Or even weirder, like being in a dream.
CLETUS
Yeah.
BAILEY
So whatās going on?
Cletus
Are we on drugs?
They look at each other.
Bailey
I donāt think so. Do you remember taking drugs?
Cletus struggles to remember.
CLETUS
I donāt remember a lot.
BAILEY
Me neither.
CLETUS
Are we dreaming?
BAILEY
How could we both be dreaming?
CLETUS
Right. Maybe itās just me dreaming.
BAILEY
Iām not just a part of your dream.
Cletus has to think about this one.
CLETUS
Isnāt that what you would say if you were just part of my dream?
BAILEY
Uh... No?
CLETUS
Virtual reality?
They both look all around, then look at each other, shaking their heads āno.ā
BAILEY
Government experiment?
CLETUS
Whoa, like MK-Ultra?
BAILEY
I never saw that. Was it good?
CLETUS
No, it, like, actually happened. MK- Ultra was a government experiment where they drugged people to find out about mind control.
BAILEY
That seems uncool. I was thinking more like Bourne Identity.
CLETUS
Yes!
Cletus starts throwing punches and karate chops in the air, seeming to defeat a multitude of enemies.
Bailey
Wait... Iām thinking now I do remember taking drugs.
CLETUS
Really? That seems kind of disappointing now.
Bailey
Maybe the government put that memory in my mind, though.
They look at each other, smiling and nodding.
Are You Buzzed?
Simpson and Vondie walk till Simpson stops in a panic.
SIMPSON
My keys! What happened to my keys?!
VONDIE
You gave them to me, remember?
SIMPSON
Oh, right, of course. Hand āem over.
VONDIE
You gave them to me for a reason.
SIMPSON
Donāt be like that. I had like one drink.
VONDIE
You definitely had more than one drink, so now you pretty much have no credibility.
SIMPSON
What?! Stop messinā. Iām good. Gimme my keys.
VONDIE
Yeah, I donāt think thatās a good idea.
SIMPSON
I donāt think it matters what you think. Theyāre my keys and itās my car.
VONDIE
It mattered what I thought when you gave me the keys.
SIMPSON
Whatever. Iām not drunk. Just give me my keys.
VONDIE
Are you buzzed?
SIMPSON
What does that even mean?
VONDIE
Do you feel different than normal?
Happier? Looser? Impaired judgment?
Simpson takes way too long to weigh this out.
VONDIE
How about if I drive you?
SIMPSON
How about if you mind your own business?
VONDIE
Okay.
Vondie begins to walk off.
SIMPSON
Hey! My keys!
Vondie
Fine, here.
Vondie turns and tosses a small key ring. Simpson misses the catch, but picks the keys up off the ground, examining them.
SIMPSON
Hey, the car keys too. Iām not asking you to go with me. Itās my car. How is this your problem?
VONDIE
What about the other people out there? The other drivers? People trying to cross the street?
SIMPSON
So youāre the big hero, protecting the common folk?
VONDIE
No. You got me. I donāt actually care about them at all.
SIMPSON
Ah ha!
VONDIE
Itās you I care about. I love you and I wonāt let you do something stupid.
SIMPSON
You love me? I donāt know what to say... I love you too. I do. I really do.
VONDIE
You are buzzed.
Are You Shot?
Flynn limps in, trying to sneak past Canton unnoticed.
CANTON
Are you okay?
FLYNN
Yeah, fine.
CANTON
Hold up. You donāt look fine.
FLYNN
Itās nothing.
Canton
Did you hurt yourself?
Flynn
Yeah... but Iāll be fine.
CANTON
Is that blood? Are you... shot?
FLYNN
Itās just a nick, but I need to clean it up and change.
CANTON
How did you get shot?!
FLYNN
Look you canāt know anything about any of this, so just imagine you didnāt see me and go back to what you were doing.
CANTON
Thatās not how it works.
FLYNN
How what works?
CANTON
How loving someone works. Youāre hurt. I need to help you, I have to make sure youāre not in trouble.
FLYNN
I am in trouble and I canāt be getting you into it, so just let me do my thing.
Canton
Let me help you.
FLYNN
Stay out of this. I donāt want you in this mess too.
CANTON
Is that just a convenient way to get me to back off?
Flynn sighs.
FLYNN
I know I deserve that and I really deserve a great big lecture from you if I make it out of all this.
Canton
If?
FLYNN
Iām leveling with you here. Iām in it deep, real deep, and it might not end well for me, but things are in motion now that could make it all good.
CANTON
This is crazy.
FLYNN
No doubt.
CANTON
Iāll help you, whatever it takes. If I need to use a gun, I will.
FLYNN
Now itās you thatās crazy.
Canton hugs Flynn.
CANTON
I just... canāt lose you.
FLYNN
You wonāt if Iām sharp out there.
Canton
Be sharp out there, then.
Canton le...