Fly Away Fear

Overcoming your Fear of Flying

Elaine Iljon Foreman, Elaine IIjon Foreman, Lucas van Gerwen, Lucas Van Gerwen

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2018
• eBook ISBN: 9780429913815
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: History & Theory in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

Research indicates about 35 of every 100 people develop a fear of flying at some point in their life. Almost everyone knows someone who has it. If you've ever mentioned to others that you aren't comfortable with air travel, you've probably already discovered just how common is the fear of flying. Fear of flying is a condition that merits proper attention, and which we are increasingly in a better position to deal with, particularly thanks to clinical research. We now know that fear of flying is similar to other phobias, and that it cannot be dismissed simply as fear of the unknown, and that telling someone to "pull yourself together" just isn't likely to be an effective way to deal with the problem. Gaining your freedom to expand your enjoyment of life is the purpose of this book. The book covers a number of areas, including valuable information about flying and everything to do with flying safety.

Introduction and Questionnaire 1

Most kids are fond of flying, often seeing it as exciting and even ‘cool’. At an early age, they will often point enthusiastically towards the sky with a small finger, if a plane appears. Children are often fascinated by flying and everything to do with it; and they rarely have a fear of flying. Until the age of around six, that is. Following this time, the development of a fear of flying becomes more common.

Research indicates that about thirty-five people in every 100 develop a fear of flying at some point in their life. Almost everyone knows someone who has it. If you have ever mentioned to others that you are not comfortable with air travel, you have probably already discovered just how common is the fear of flying. At social gatherings, celebrations, business functions, or discussions at work, many people will, albeit reluctantly, admit that flying is not exactly their favourite form of travel. But it is not only a bit uncomfortable for some people – the problem can really interfere with their life. It can limit the choice of holiday destinations, and using other forms of transport can mean that it takes much longer and is more costly to get to places that are easily accessible by plane. It can also interfere with promotion prospects, if this means that flying is required for a more senior position in one’s chosen field.

Fortunately, the subject is no longer taboo. People will confess more freely that flying is not their preferred mode of transport. And with that brave admission, the first step has been taken towards reclaiming their freedom of movement, because then something can be done to conquer the fear of flying.

Fear of flying is a condition that merits proper attention, and which we are increasingly in a better position to deal with, particularly thanks to clinical research. We now know that fear of flying is similar to other phobias, and that it cannot be dismissed simply as fear of the unknown, and that telling some one to ‘pull yourself together’ just is not likely to be an effective way to deal with the problem.

There are many identified points as to when and how the fear can first develop.

It may be a result of an unpleasant or frightening experience on a plane – an emergency either for the plane or another passenger. Alternatively, it may be caused by experiencing severe turbulence, or by seeing in a film how flying terrifies others. Maybe one of your parents was afraid of flying. Reading or watching media coverage of an air crash, or seeing a disaster movie, and identifying too closely with the people involved can sometimes be a trigger. Fear of flying can also start when you are flying to a destination to which you do not want to go, or if you have an unpleasant experience just before the flight, or if you have a panic attack, and experience a feeling of impending doom, which then remains associated with everything to do with flying. Having a panic attack before flying, or on an aeroplane, can mean that the person becomes afraid of a repeat experience, and so a pattern of anticipation of feeling anxious and avoidance of flying can begin. However, a considerable number of people say that they noticed that there was no specific trigger, just that over the years, and the more they flew, they found that they became increasingly uncomfortable and even frightened. Far from practice making perfect, they add that the more they flew, the worse it became. There are several theories as to why the incidents mentioned above can lead to a development of a fear of flying in some people, but not in others, and these will be covered in greater detail in this book.

Here are two different examples of the development, taken from the thousands of people we have seen.

Alison is a lady in her thirties. She flew frequently, completely confidently, as a child and in the years before she got married. Financial pressures put paid to holidays by air for a number of years. Having finally saved up sufficient funds to go on a family holiday to Disneyworld, the last thing she expected was what happened to her. When she got on to the plane, she felt overwhelmed by panic, and suffered an overpowering feeling of impending doom. Every catastrophe she had ever read came into her head, and it was all she could do to force herself to stay on the plane, trying hard not to cry, as she did not want to frighten her children. The whole holiday was overshadowed by the dread of the return journey. On her return, despite a completely smooth and trouble-free trip, she vowed she would never fly again.

Peter, aged forty-eight, said he had always been uneasy about flying, but had made himself travel on planes. Whenever he could, he restricted his flights to the shortest possible duration, and the minimum frequency. On one flight, severe, unexpected turbulence was experienced – coffee splashed over his trousers, and cabin crew struggled to their seats. This flight ended with a particularly bumpy landing, and Peter decided he could no longer continue putting himself through what he felt was such an unpleasant, even dangerous experience. He therefore made the return journey by boat, and had not flown until finally, when he retired, he decided he wanted to regain the choice and freedom he had lost, and to overcome his fears, so that he could make the most of the rest of his life.

The list of things that people with a fear of flying say they worry about is very long. It includes: crashing, heights, instability or turbulence, panicking, lack of control, bad weather, suffocation, loss of control in social situations, vomiting or fainting and the subsequent humiliation, worrying what others may think of them, agoraphobia, being trapped in an enclosed space, being separated from a caretaker, experiencing a serious disorder such as a heart attack or brain haemorrhage, ‘going mad’, experiencing a variety of unpleasant physical sensations, and, of course, the ultimate fear – that of dying.

Though at first sight this looks like a very mixed picture of completely different fears, the bottom line seems to be a fear of loss of control. The fears can be divided into two groups, with just a few people experiencing fears from both groups. The first group are those people who worry about a ‘loss of internal control’. These include all those fears about social anxiety, panic disorder, claustrophobia and agoraphobia, and all the other awful feelings. In this first group, the person fears some form of internal catastrophe, where in some way they will go ‘out of control’. As they are unable to escape from the situation – leaving at 30,000 feet is just not an option – they remain terrified of the frightening prospect that any second they will be overwhelmed by these seemingly unbearable feelings. The second group fear a ‘loss of external control’ – something happening to the plane. Their fears include heights, turbulence, bad weather, take-off, landing, and just ‘being up there’, plus all the factors particularly associated with crashing. They know that if something does go very badly wrong, there is nothing they can do about it, as in reality they have no control over what happens to the plane. The third and smallest group have both fears – a loss of internal and of external control.

The problem can affect people of all ages. Some say they have had the fear for as long as they can remember. They also often mention that they have never been particularly adventurous in other areas of their life, and even sometimes somewhat timid. Others describe it as a difficulty that develops after years of worry-free air travel. This is often the case for people who would see themselves as extroverts who are very much in control of their lives, and who normally have been able to tackle and solve most problems by confronting and overcoming them. Women quite frequently say that it developed after the birth of their first child – suddenly there is someone for whom they are responsible, who depends heavily on them, and the risk of harm coming to them, or their child, must be minimized at all costs.

People may try relaxation, deep breathing techniques, hypnosis, homoeopathy, aromatherapy, medication, or even alcohol to deal with their problems. While these strategies can take the edge off the fear, as ‘stand alone’ treatments, they do not always prove sufficient to fully overcome it – they just make it seem more bearable. The person still usually dreads the run up to the flight, and then can be very distressed by having to live through the final countdown to the dreaded return flight. The latter fear can sadly tarnish the holiday, taking the shine off it, or can impair one’s work performance, giving overseas colleagues a poorer impression of one’s abilities than really is the case. It cannot be doubted that people with a flying phobia are entitled to treatment, as are those with any other phobia that cramps activities or takes the joy out of life, and the problem clearly cannot be dismissed as a ‘luxury complaint’. Gaining your freedom to expand your enjoyment of life is the purpose of the book you are holding. The book covers a number of areas, including valuable information about flying and everything to do with flying safety. We also cover the nature of anxiety, frequently asked questions, and, of course, the self-help strategies that you can employ. In addition, we deal with professional therapeutic help, and what you can expect of such treatment. We hope that by reading this book you will be less anxious about stepping into an aircraft and that you will experience the flight in a positive way, as an enjoyable and interesting event, which takes you to where you want to be in your life. In our clinical practice, we have seen thousands of people who have successfully overcome their fear, and it is likely that you can do so too!

We would like to thank all the people who have contributed to this book, particularly all those ‘formerly fearful flyers’ whom we have been able to help overcome their problem, and through whom we have gained considerable insight into the understanding of this highly distressing and limiting problem. We hope you will be able to identify with some of the examples, and to feel that ‘If they can do it, so can I!’

Self-evaluation: questionnaire 1

Here is a short questionnaire to see where you are at this point in your flying experience. You will be able to compare this to your responses at the end of the book. We trust the results will speak for themselves!

Fill out the following questionnaire before you continue reading this book. Select the appropriate number on the scale for each question. Be honest and show yourself how you currently deal with flying, and how informed you are about the following subjects.

At the end of this book you will find the same questionnaire repeated, and you can see what has changed.

1. How many flights are you planning in the next three years?
   • 0—1—2—3—4—5
2. How well informed are you about how a plane flies?
   • 0—1—2—3—4—5
3. How well informed are you about the safety of flying?
   • 0—1—2—3—4—5
4. How well informed are you about the nature and effects of turbulence?
   • 0—1—2—3—4—5
5. How well informed are you about the nature and effects of anxiety?
   • 0—1—2—3—4—5
6. How well informed are you about coping strategies to conquer fear of flying?
   • 0——1——2——3——4——5
7. How comfortable are you with flying?
   • 0——1——2——3——4——5

Chapter One
What's it All About?

If only I could fly away fear!

I thought I’d never make it in time! So many things to do before I can leave, and then the desperate scramble of last minute midnight packing – WHERE did I put my passport? Finally I dash to the airport to set off on that well-earned holiday at last. Approaching the airport, I see a jumbo jet taking off. How can something that heavy get up and stay up there? Surely gravity always wins? In my too-vivid imagination I see the catastrophe. Mid-air collision, engine failure, wings falling off, terrorism, sudden severe weather – the list of possibilities is endless. ‘It could happen so easily,’ I think. And while I know all about flying being the safest form of travel, the feeling is that I am the proverbial cat with nine lives . .. and this is my tenth flight! Panic rises, I feel my mouth go dry and bile rises in my throat. My thoughts race on. ‘If my heart beats any faster, I’ll surely have a heart attack! Why am I putting myself through this? Though I am going out as a passenger, what will it be like on the return? It’s not just that I’ll feel trapped, once those doors close and we take off – I really am! And there’ll be nothing I can do about it!’

Determinedly, I resist the temptation to just turn around and forget the whole thing. All that bustle at the check-in desk, those long queues, and how can everyone be so unconcerned? Don’t they know what fate awaits them? Superstitious thoughts assail me – black cats, magpies, ladders, salt over which shoulder? Of course the staff can smile and joke – they aren’t getting on my plane!

Sitting next to a mother and baby momentarily reassures me – this must mean it’s safe, as what parent would risk their child’s life? ‘Cabin crew, take your seats,’ I hear over the intercom. Here we go. We are ready for take-off. There’s no escape now. I clutch at the armrests, white knuckled, all the while attempting to sit ‘lightly’ on my seat. When the plane banks, I find myself leaning in the opposite direction to compensate. Each change in engine sound provokes the heart-stopping thought of engine failure, while the slightest bump feels unbearable. If only I could open the window!

Breaking through the clouds, and seeing the blue sky and sunshine, I momentarily appreciate the beauty, but this is soon lost in the awful anticipation, waiting for the next bump or noise to remind me how vulnerable I am. I find myself thinking, ‘If man was meant to fly . . .’

All the statistics in the world can’t convince me: after all, remember the lottery advert, ‘It could be YOU!’ There’s nothing statistical about my fear. Despite the odds, I feel much safer with tarmac under my wheels than with miles of gaping void underneath me! [Taken from the confessions of a former flying phobic]

How limiting is your fear?

To which of these groups do you belong? Internationally, up to 40% of people say they are or have been afraid of flying. They range from those who have never flown before, to frequent flyers, and also include both civilian and military aircrew. Some who have never flown before say they would never want to, while others used to fly, either confidently or with fear, but then reached the point of total avoidance. A final group continue to fly, but with great trepidation, keeping their trips as short and as infrequent as possible.

If you or someone close to you does suffer from this fear, you probably already know that the consequences can be far-reaching, limiting professional opportunities, affecting leisure options, even to the extent that one person may decide to take holidays without their partner on a regular basis, if the partner will not fly. There are implications for long-term relationships, and likewise difficulties in family holidays if children refuse to travel. The problem can, therefore, have a substantial affect on one’s professional, social, and family life, given the way in which it hampers or restricts either partner’s freedom of movement.

Take the example of Sylvia, who finally decided that it was time to overcome her fear. Sylvia describes her experience in the following manner.

Are you scared of flying? I was, but it was much more than that. I even refused to get myself a passpor...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• ABOUT THE AUTHORS
• Dedication
• FOREWORD TO THE SERIES AND TITLE
• INTRODUCTION AND QUESTIONNAIRE 1
• CHAPTER ONE What's It All About?
• CHAPTER TWO Back to Basics
• CHAPTER THREE The Exercises, or How To Exorcize Your Fears
• CHAPTER FOUR Last, But Not Least
• APPENDIX I: Where To Obtain Therapeutic Help
• APPENDIX II: Self-Evaluation: Questionnaire 2
• APPENDIX III: Flights of fancy: Quotations Corner
• BIBLIOGRAPHY
• INDEX