Psychotherapy and Spiritual Direction

Two Languages, One Voice?

Lynette Harborne

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2018
• Topic: Psychology
• eBook ISBN:
  9780429918261
• Subtopic: History & Theory in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

This book explores the similarities and differences between the practice of psychotherapy and spiritual direction and suggests that, whilst there may be distinctions between the two activities, the process is essentially the same. The purpose of the book is to improve the understanding between therapists and spiritual directors, to encourage dialogue and discussion between them, as well as to offer challenges and learning to both. In the process of exploring the interface between the practice of therapy and the practice of spiritual direction, questions arise about how to address issues of spirituality in a psychological context and psychological issues in a spiritual context. A brief overview of the historical background to spiritual direction is given, and attention drawn to the links between this tradition and the development of psychotherapy. Spiritual issues that may arise in therapy together with psychological issues that occur during spiritual direction are discussed, leading on to a comparison between 'dark night of the soul' experiences and clinical depression.

CHAPTER ONE


Setting the scene

“If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world on fire!”

—Catherine of Siena 1347–1380

The purpose of the book

When in the past I have been asked the question “How do you separate spiritual direction from therapy?”, I would try to identify and separate out strands that might belong in therapy but not in spiritual direction, or the other way round. I find I can no longer do this, as I have come to the view that, apart from some of the language that I might intentionally choose to use, the processes are so integrated that they cannot easily be dissected into their constituent parts.

On a number of occasions in the past few years I have been invited to work with groups to explore possible similarities and differences between spiritual direction and therapy. These opportunities have elicited a variety of responses, ranging from “Surely they're both the same?” at one end of the scale to “Surely they're completely different?” at the other. I have been aware that, on occasions, I have faced what felt like hostility from members of both the therapy and the spiritual direction “camps” when attempting to draw parallels and focus on similarities. I have sensed that participants wanted me to stress the differences, inviting me to make a clear and definitive demarcation between the two. This has puzzled me, as it is my belief that the intention of the two activities is the same—to offer a process that can enable our clients or directees to develop, to flourish, to be enriched, to become more the person they are born to be, and, in the broadest sense, to be healed.

Working on the hypothesis that such hostility may well arise out of anxiety, uncertainty, and lack of understanding, this book is an attempt to shine some light on the topic, to give some of the arguments an airing, and, I sincerely hope, to encourage reflection and discussion. I firmly believe that the two traditions have a lot to learn from each other.

All the great world religions have their own rich traditions of spiritual guidance and support, but this book specifically addresses the Christian model of spiritual direction. This is not because I privilege it over that of other faiths, but because it is the one with which I am familiar and in which I am personally involved. I think it is also relevant that psychotherapy seems to have developed and flourished in western countries with a strong Christian history.

I am also aware that, while there is already an enormous body of research and literature about spiritual direction and about psychotherapy—, including a considerable amount that addresses the question of similarities and differences—this has largely originated in north America and thus reflects that particular culture and prevailing practice. At the same time, the literature on all aspects of psychotherapy in the United Kingdom continues to increase—including references to spirituality—but not nearly as much has been published about spiritual direction, and very little on the similarities and differences between the two. The psychotherapy and the spiritual direction communities in the United Kingdom are very different from those in the United States and Canada in terms of professional training and practice, ethical and legal requirements, client expectations, the national culture, and attitudes towards religion and spirituality. With these limitations of literature of a United Kingdom origin, it is inevitable that I shall draw on some north American sources that inform the development of thinking in this country; it is also clear that there are twentieth century contributions to the literature addressing the nature of spiritual direction that are considered to be “classics” in this field. However, there does seem to be a gap—in terms of the examination of current practice and of the relationship between therapy and spiritual direction—and it is my hope that this book may make a contribution towards closing it.

Definitions

In order to explore the differences and similarities between spiritual direction and therapy, it is important to be clear what we mean by such labels and how each of these two traditions identifies itself and what it does. It seems necessary, therefore, to define the terms that will be used throughout this book, although in my exploration of this subject, I have been very aware just how much the limitations of language impede and inhibit my attempts to describe the processes involved in both spiritual direction and psychotherapy. As Corbett says, “The sacred is irreducible” (1996, p. 81), and all our attempts at definitions of what are, at heart, metaphysical and mystical issues must recognise the inherent elements of nuance, mystery, and uncertainty. However, I recognise the importance of establishing some common understanding before going any further.

What is spirituality?

Swinton states very simply: “Spirituality is the outward expression of the inner workings of the human spirit” (2001, p. 20). He then examines the question in considerable depth and asserts that “spirituality can be categorized into two types: non-religious and religious” and identifies the following aspects as the central features of spirituality: “meaning (the ontological significance of life); value (beliefs and standards); transcendence (expanding self-boundaries); connecting (relationships with self, other, God/higher power and the environment); becoming (an unfolding of life that demands reflection and experience)” (ibid., pp. 23–25). Thorne suggests that “the very word ‘spiritual’ is commonly used by those who wish to affirm their belief in an overarching reality which points to the interconnectedness of the created order and to a perception of the human being as essentially mysterious and not ultimately definable in biological, psychological or sociological terms” (2002, p. 6) and Gubi states: “Spirituality is ultimately about the search for meaning and fulfilment in life … Spirituality includes a sense of transcendence—the experience and appreciation of a dimension beyond self which can lead to expanding self-boundaries” (2010, p. 8).

All the above statements attempt to define a significant interior experience that links us as individuals to something outside of and greater than ourselves, and which we recognise through personal experience.

What is religion?

The Oxford Dictionary (2001) definition is as follows: “1. The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially of a personal god or gods, a particular system of faith and worship; 2. A pursuit or interest followed with devotion.” However, Swinton (2001) suggests that spirituality may be religious or non-religious and Thorne asserts that religion and spirituality are not by definition connected (2002, p. 6). Swinton further cites Allport and Ross’ work on intrinsic and extrinsic religiousness; intrinsic religious faith offers a framework for understanding and making meaning of life, whereas extrinsic faith offers a more utilitarian and less altruistic religious world view. “In theological terms the extrinsic type turns to but without turning away from self” (1967, p. 434).

Richards & Bergin address the interrelatedness of religion and spirituality as follows:

Religion has to do with theistic beliefs, practices, and feelings that are often, but not always, expressed institutionally and denomina-tionally as well as personally. Thus, the terms religious and spiritual are interrelated, but they can be distinguished from each other along several dimensions. Religious expressions tend to be denominational, external, cognitive, behavioural, ritualistic, and public. Spiritual experiences tend to be universal, ecumenical, internal, affective, spontaneous, and private. It is possible to be religious without being spiritual and spiritual without being religious. (1997, p. 13)

That there is a difference between religion and spirituality is further evidenced by the fact that organised religion, in the shape of formalised church communities, is not necessarily the place to which people turn when looking for spiritual direction. It is interesting to note that many spiritual directors are not connected to a church in any formalised way—and some may have little or no connection—which would seem to raise questions about the nature of the spiritual support that many churches are in fact offering.

What is psychotherapy?

If we go back to the roots of the word “psychotherapy” we see that it comes from the Greek words “psyche”, meaning the breath of life, and “therapeia,” meaning attendant or servant. West (2004, p. 144) suggests that one translation of the word “psychotherapist” would be “soul attender”.

However, the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) more formally defines psychotherapy as follows: “Psychotherapy aims to help clients gain insight into their difficulties or distress, establish a greater understanding of their motivation, and enables them to find more appropriate ways of coping or bring about changes in their thinking and behaviour”; and also explains that “Psychotherapy involves exploring feelings, beliefs, thoughts and relevant events, sometimes from childhood and personal history, in a structured way with someone trained to help you do it safely” (

www.psychotherapy.org.uk

, italics mine), thus clearly indicating that addressing beliefs may be part of therapy.

Traditionally, and in some cases currently, some psychotherapists might not consider the client's spirituality as relevant, and may even see it is a sign of pathology. However, approaches to therapy that are defined specifically as “transpersonal” (for example, psychosynthesis) seek to acknowledge, yet move beyond, the awareness of the individual self as a separate, isolated consciousness. Grof and Grof define the word transpersonal as “transcending the usual way of perceiving and interpreting the world” (1989, p. 7) and Clarkson (1995, p. 7) includes the transpersonal as a modality in her examination of the therapeutic relationship.

What is spiritual direction?

The term “spiritual direction” is, perhaps, an unfortunate one, implying that the relationship is an unequal one in which the power is vested in one participant who gives advice and guidance, is directive, and who tells the other what to do and, possibly even in some circumstances, what to think.

In reality, the relationship in spiritual direction is ideally one of mutuality in which the director places himself or herself alongside the directee and is a companion on the spiritual journey, seeking to explore and deepen the relationship with God. The tradition of spiritual direction suggests that it is the Holy Spirit—seen as a third presence in the room—who is the director, not the person whom the directee has come to see. This is in line with the opening sentence of Spiritual Friendship by Aelred of Riveaulx: “Here we are, you and I, and I hope a third, Christ, is in our midst” (1974 p. 51). Thus spiritual direction is often seen as a triadic relationship rather than a dyadic one.

Benner defines spiritual direction as follows: “Spiritual direction is a prayer process in which a person seeking help in cultivating a deeper personal relationship with God meets with another for prayer and conversation that is focused on increasing awareness of God in the midst of life experiences” (2002, p. 94) which, by including the words “in the midst of life experiences”, acknowledges the “groundedness” of the process, suggesting that this is no airy-fairy business, but relates to the everyday life of the individual. Directees bring themselves in their entirety into direction, not just their “God bit”. Benner, referring to spiritual directors, continues: “… the essence of their role is discernment—or better, co-discernment” (ibid., p. 205), with its suggestion of mutuality and shared intention.

Jones defines spiritual direction as follows: “Spiritual direction is a relationship entered into with another under mutual obedience to the revelation of God in Christ” (1982, p. 4) which, by referring to mutual obedience, implies that there is no sense of inequality.

Merton wrote: “The whole purpose of spiritual direction is to penetrate beneath the surface of a man's life, to get behind the facade of conventional gestures and attitudes which he presents to the world, and to bring out his inner spiritual freedom, which is what we call the likeness of Christ in his soul” (1960, p. 16). Here Merton is commenting on the actual process of direction, on what is happening in the sacred space co-created by director and directee.

Barry and Connelly define spiritual direction as “… help given by one Christian to another which enables that person … to respond to God, to grow in intimacy with God and to live out the consequences” (1984, p. 8). I would suggest that in “living out the consequences” we could also very well be describing the outcome of therapy. Birmingham and Connolly comment on the purpose of spiritual direction when they write: “Spiritual direction places itself at the service of the relationship between the directee and God and of the development of the relationship that God has put underway” (1994, p. 51).

In some circles, preferred terms include spiritual accompanier, soul friend, or companion, and, while I am in great sympathy with the desire to move away from the idea of a power-based relationship in which there is an expectation that one person will take a “directive” approach towards the other, personally I find that my default term is spiritual director. This isn't accidental or merely out of habit, but rather from an appreciation of the long historical tradition of spiritual direction. I very much value the connection and continuity with this long and historical tradition—the sense of standing on giants’ shoulders when reflecting on the practice of spiritual direction in the twenty-first century. Nevertheless, I understand and sympathise with the reluctance that many have to using this term.

Similar or different?

When reflecting on similarities and differences, I come back to the principle already mentioned that spiritual direction is a triadic rather than dyadic relationship. I do not necessarily see that this is different in the therapeutic relationship. While many therapists may find it an unacceptable notion, I am sure that there will be those who would claim to be aware of the presence of God in their clinical work.

May, psychiatrist and spiritual director, gives the following description of how he sees the role of therapist and director:

In humanistic therapy one could say “I bring all that I am into this relationship with you. For the time we are together, I attend to you with all my heart and with all my expertise. I give my attention to our being together in the hope that this will facilitate your growth and health ….” In spiritual direction one might say “My prayers are for God's will to be done in you and for your constant depending in God. During this time that we are together I give myself, my awareness and attention and hopes and heart to God for you. I surrender myself to God for your sake.” (1992, p. 120)

I would suggest that “I give my attention to our being together in the hope that this will facilitate your growth and health” could very easily be translated as “I surrender myself to God for your sake” and, even if there are certain nuances that differentiate these two statements, the primary and underlying message from director to directee is identical to that from therapist to client, that is, “I am fully present in the service of your well-being”.

Similarly Edwards states:

We go to a counsellor to try to gain insight and greater flexibility related to the way we function in daily living. A divine force may be accepted in the relationship, but the primary intent of paying attention to that force is to use it to help us improve our personal effectiveness. In spiritual direction the focus is on the divine force, on God, as the integral core of our being and purpose. We go to a spiritual director because we want to become more attuned to God's Spirit in our spirit and freely live out of divine love. (2001, p. 24)

My experience leads me to the conclusion that, for Christians, these two statements overlap and interweave, that they cannot be divided quite as simply as Edwards perhaps suggests. For people of sincere faith, everything in life is infused with God's spirit, and the desire to live out of divine love is central to all aspects of life. As Ball says: “To accomp...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication Page
• Contents
• Acknowledgements
• About the Author
• Preface
• Foreword
• Chapter One Setting the scene
• Chapter Two A common heritage?
• Chapter Three Spiritual issues in therapy: the hidden ingredient?
• Chapter Four Psychological issues in spiritual direction
• Chapter Five Depression or Dark Night of the Soul?
• Chapter Six Ethical and boundary issues
• Chapter Seven Power in the encounter
• Chapter Eight Spirituality in the therapy room—is it OK to pray?
• Chapter Nine Training: or should it be formation?
• Chapter Ten My heretical question: can spiritual direction be considered a modality of psychotherapy?
• References
• Index