Loss, Grief, and Trauma in the Workplace

Neil Thompson, Dale Lund, Dale A Lund

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN: 9780895033420
• eBook ISBN: 9781351843126
• Topic: Psicología
• Subtopic: Salud mental en psicología

The workplace is not immune to the problems, pressures, and challenges presented by experiences of loss and trauma and the grief reactions they produce. This clearly written, well-crafted book offers important insights and understanding to help us appreciate the difficulties involved and prepare ourselves for dealing with such demanding situations when they arise. People's experiences of loss and trauma are, of course, not left at the factory gate or the office door. Nor are loss and traumatic events absent from the workplace itself. Loss, grief, and trauma are very much a part of life - and that includes working life. Executives, managers, human resource professionals, and employee assistance staff need to have at least a basic understanding of how loss, grief, and trauma affect people in the workplace. This book provides that foundation of understanding and offers guidance on how to find out more about these vitally important workplace issues.The text provides a valuable blend of theory and practice that will be of interest to those involved in management, human resources, and organizational studies as well as those interested in the social scientific study of loss, grief, and trauma - and, of course, to those involved in the helping professions. It is essential reading for anyone concerned with making the workplace a more humane and effective environment, or anyone wishing to develop an understanding of the complexities of loss, grief, and trauma in our lives.

CHAPTER 1
Understanding Loss, Grief and Trauma

Death and dying, and loss more broadly, are subjects that many people do not want to face up to and will therefore try to avoid where possible. While this is perfectly understandable up to a point, it can be very unhelpful. It can prevent us from developing an understanding of how significant such matters are in the workplace and can leave us ill-prepared to deal with the not in considerable challenges they can present.

It is important to recognize that loss and grief are basic parts of human existence for all of us all of the time and, for many people at various points in their life, trauma is also a fundamental occurrence that can have significant implications. In trying to understand issues relating to loss, grief and trauma it is essential to realize that they can be extremely complex but, unfortunately, are often oversimplified and misunderstood. There is some evidence to suggest that we are moving away from this tendency now (as a result of the growing influence of the death education movement, for example), but it would be overoptimistic to think that we have left the problems behind us entirely.

What adds to this difficulty is the fact that the issues are often swept under the carpet as a result of our strong tendency, in western cultures at least, to have a denial of mortality. As DeSpelder and Strickland put it: “Death may be devalued, even denied for a time, but it cannot be eluded” [1, p. 529]. Many modern societies nonetheless operate as if death and loss are not inevitable for us. This can leave so many people very unprepared when a significant loss does arise. It also means that people often do not appreciate what they have and constantly strive for more (in terms of consumerism, for example) because, by denying the finite nature of human existence in this way, the value of what we have can be missed. This can be seen as an important part of both spirituality and well-being—trying to find meaning and fulfilment beyond such superficial matters as consumer goods or other such mundane considerations. As Feifel [2] has argued, appreciating the finite nature of human existence can bring enriched levels of self-knowledge and promote creativity.

As noted in the Introduction, loss, grief and trauma are very important in the workplace, even if they are not recognized as such. However, before addressing these issues in a workplace context, it is important to lay the foundations of understanding. This will involve exploring the key issues relating to each of the three—that is, loss, grief and trauma:

• Loss. What part does loss play in everyday life? How does it feature in shaping important aspects of our lives?
• Grief. How does the experience of grief make a difference in people’s lives? How can we deal with the challenges it presents?
• Trauma. How can certain life experiences “wound” us? How can we best respond to such circumstances?

I shall therefore explore in turn each of these three areas. I shall provide a basic introduction to some of the key issues relating first to loss, then to grief and finally to trauma. However, it has to be noted that, in the space available, these can be only basic introductions, and readers wishing to develop their understanding further are advised to consult the Guide to Further Learning at the end of the book where you will find signposts to opportunities to develop your understanding further by reference to additional reading material, and details of organizations and websites.

Loss

It would be a significant mistake not to recognize that loss is a basic part of life. Every time we gain something, we lose something else. For example, in gaining sophistication, we lose innocence. As one door opens, other doors close. This is not necessarily a problem, but simply a recognition of how significant loss is as a fundamental part of human existence. How significant a particular loss is to us will depend on how much we have invested in what is lost. This introduces the Freudian notion of “cathexis,” a term used to refer to the emotional investment we make in a person, a thing, a relationship, or whatever. When we lose that person, thing or relationship, we then lose the emotions we had invested. It is the equivalent of a Wall Street crash and can be very painful and disconcerting for all concerned, with significant wide-ranging implications.

Practice Focus 1.1

Lyn was devastated when she discovered that her sister, Kate, had been killed in a road traffic accident. Kate, the elder of the two, had been a role model for Lyn, especially in her adolescent years in which she had encountered quite a few problems. As Kate had also become a mother first, she was a great help when Lyn gave birth.

Even though Lyn’s reaction to the news of her sister’s death was one of shock and disbelief, it was not long before she became aware of how much she had lost, of how big a gap in her life the loss of Kate would leave. She felt so empty inside, so desperately sad and bereft. She wondered if her life would ever be the same again. So much positive emotion had gone into her relationship with Kate and now she felt as though it had just disappeared, vanished into thin air. It was the worst feeling she had ever known in her life.

The Range of Losses

Loss is often equated with bereavement—that is, with death-related losses—but, again the reality is much more complex than this. Loss can occur in a variety of ways, chiefly the following:

• Power or status. When we encounter layoffs, redeployment or restructuring, we can experience a loss of power or status, and that can be quite significant in terms of how we experience our lives in general and that proportion of our time we spend in the workplace in particular.
• Ability. The onset of disability, ill-health or possibly other changes of circumstances, can lead to a loss of ability. For example, technological change can mean that somebody's ability in a particular area is no longer required, because the technology to which it relates is no longer used.
• Hope, ambition or aspiration. All of these can be lost when we miss a certain opportunity or again when circumstances change. Disappointment is, in effect, a form of grief reaction to a loss. Examples would include a project being cancelled after a lot of time, effort and energy have been invested in it, and applying for a job but being unsuccessful.
• Relationship or connection. Where we fall out with a friend or colleague or he or she moves away or changes job, we can again experience a significant loss. This can sometimes be as a result of conflict occurring, but is often due to changes in circumstances beyond our control—for example, a job relocation to a new area imposed on an employee.
• Meaning. This can occur in two ways. First, we can lose a specific meaning—for example, when someone has a crisis of faith—or second, we can also experience a loss of meaning as a result of other losses. For example, someone who is made redundant may, for a certain time at least, lose their sense of career—that is, what their working life means to them and how it might develop. As Lattanzi-Licht puts it:

Many people who endure a profound loss experience a crisis of meaning. Things that seemed important or worth working toward are now thrown into question. Part of the personal searching that follows a major loss centers on a re-ordering of values and priorities. In that re-evaluation, one’s work may, at least in the short run, become less significant.

[3, pp. 21–22]

This is a point which we shall return below.

• Security. We each have particular ways of feeling secure. We develop points of reference or “landmarks” that help give a sense of familiarity, comfort and safety. When one of these landmarks of security is lost, we can begin to feel very insecure. Loss of security can be particularly problematic when it is either multiple (that is, several landmarks of security are lost at the same time) or cumulative (that is, when one loss of security is followed by another and another, and so on).
• Respect and honor. When we experience a situation characterized by guilt or shame, we can lose respect and honor. This can happen in one of two ways. It can arise where such a loss of respect and honor is justified (that is, where we have indeed acted shamefully) or equally, it can occur in circumstances where it is not justified, when we have not behaved in an unacceptable manner, but circumstances conspire to give people the impression that we have. Whether the loss of honor and respect is justified or not, its impact can be just as potent. Loss of respect can also include loss of self-respect and thus of confidence which, in turn, can lead to other losses, such as capability in certain areas or even of employment.

This is not a comprehensive list, but merely a reflection of some of the main ways in which loss can affect us, irrespective of whether or not someone close to us has died. However, what we also have to recognize is that many of these losses additionally arise when a death does occur, and so there is not always a clear dividing line between a death-related loss and one that is not death related. The two can overlap and interweave quite considerably. Indeed, this is a characteristic of losses in general—that they are interconnected—and so one loss can trigger or exacerbate others. For example, as noted above, loss of status may result in a loss of confidence. That, in turn, may lead to a loss of security, and that loss of security may undermine a relationship, perhaps leading, after a time, to the loss of that relationship. This pattern may even lead to the development of a vicious circle in which a series of losses reinforce one another in ways that lead to an acceleration over time. Clearly, this can be quite a harmful situation when it develops, and is therefore one that we should seek to avoid.

Rituals

Another important point that we need to bear in mind is that death-related losses often have rituals associated with them that have the effect of bringing people together and generating support and a sense of “this is difficult, but at least we are in it together.” Rituals, in effect, are acts imbued with meaning [4], and that also makes them very significant. However, losses that are not death related often have no equivalent rituals (although some may—for example, the leaving “do” or retirement party and gold watch). The absence of rituals can make losses more difficult to deal with.

Without social rituals, a loss can become associated with isolation, rather than solidarity, and there may even be a sense of shame associated with a loss (see the discussion of disenfranchised grief below). This is because one of the common reactions to a loss is a sense of guilt, a sense of “if only. . . .” It is very easy for this feeling to become converted to an irrational sense of shame. Rituals can be very useful for making it clear that the loss is not a matter of shame but, in the absence of rituals, the grieving persons can face additional problems—the impact can be compounded. Irion captures the point well when he argues that:

By understanding the ways in which rituals can help mourners to cope with their grief, individuals and families can benefit by participating in traditional rituals or in devising new ritual responses to their loss. Effective use of such rituals makes movement from the former reality to the new reality not only possible but empowering.

[5, p. 165]

Rituals can also be significant parts of faith communities. Being a member of a particular religion or faith group will generally involve access to certain ritual practices. When it comes to loss-related rituals, however, it is likely to be the case that death-related losses will be better served than other forms of loss.

From these brief comments, it should be more than apparent that loss is therefore much more common than most people may generally realize, and that also it is much more significant as a factor in people’s lives—including their working lives. This is an important theme that will be developed throughout the book.

Grief

Grief can be seen as our psychological reaction to loss. It is generally characterized by a sense of emptiness or absence. Although grief is a phenomenon that can—and will—apply to every human being, it is important to be aware that grieving is not a case of “one size fits all.” For many years, grief was presented as primarily a biological process, and therefore assumed to be pretty much the same for everybody. However, theoretical developments and research evidence have combined to convince us that this is not a helpful way of seeing grief. We now recognize that different people grieve differently, and there will be significant differences between individuals and across groups.

Common Patterns in Grief

Nonetheless, despite these significant differences, there are also common patterns to our grief reactions. That is, underpinning the differences involved will be recurring themes; they will not apply to all grieving people at all times, but will reflect common patterns. These common themes can be characterized in terms of four different types:

• Physical. There can be significant physical reactions to a loss. These include loss of appetite or even its opposite, comfort eating; headaches; stomach aches; debility—basically, the physical reactions associated with stress. As with stress, there can also be an exacerbation of existing health problems—asthma, for example.
• Emotional. Anger, guilt, sadness, depression, irritability—these can all be experienced as a result of a grief reaction. Emotions are not simply individualized, psychological reactions—they are also social and interpersonal phenomena. The emotional dimension of grief therefore has to be understood in broad terms and not simply as a personal or individual matter.
• Cognitive. This can include difficulty in concentrating or thinking clearly and memory impairment. Such problems can fluctuate and may be influenced by other factors, such as tiredness or having a headache.
• Behavioral. This can include withdrawal, impatience, aggression or a lack of competence in using machinery (this final point being linked in many cases to the cognitive problems outlined above). In many cases, grief-related behaviors may be misinterpreted as evidence of something else; for example, withdrawal may be misconstrued as a lack of commitment or as laziness.

Although these four dimensions have been presented separately, we have to be aware that, in reality, they interact and reinforce each other. What is also important to acknowledge is that grief is often referred to as our emotional response to a loss but, as these comments indicate, it is more than emotional, it is psychological in the broader sense and does not limit itself to the feelings dimension of human psychology.

Complicated Grieving

For a long time, a distinction was drawn between “normal” and “abnormal” grief. However, that approach has long since been criticized because it is judgmental and stigmatizing. It implies that some people grieve in a pathological way, as if they have some sort of deficit or inadequacy. The reality, in fact, is far more complicated than this. As noted above, different people grieve in different ways, and so it is possible—indeed, it happens very often—that someone is grieving in a way that is not at all problematic but, because it is different from what some other people may expect, it may be perceived as a problem or as “abnormal.” This is not to say that ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Foreword
• Preface
• Acknowledgments
• About the Author
• INTRODUCTION
• CHAPTER 1: Understanding Loss, Grief and Trauma
• CHAPTER 2: Loss and Grief in the Workplace
• CHAPTER 3: Trauma in the Workplace
• CHAPTER 4: The Policy Context
• CHAPTER 5: Providing Care and Support
• CHAPTER 6: Helps and Hindrances
• CHAPTER 7: Conclusion
• Guide to Further Learning
• Index