Restorative Practices and Bullying

Margaret Thorsborne, David Vinegrad

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2017
• eBook ISBN: 9781351704199
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education General

This book focuses on the needs of the community affected by bullying behaviour, rather than simply apportioning blame and deciding on punishment. It covers topics including: restorative justice and bullying; restorative responses to bullying incidents; and managing reluctance to face up to bullying.

Chapter 1
The case for a different approach

Introduction

This manual is third in the series titled Rethinking Behaviour Management¹. The intention of all three works is to challenge our current thinking and practice in schools around our responses to wrongdoing. We aim to focus the attention of teachers and student managers on those beliefs and values that shape our practice each day in the classroom, corridor and playground, whether it is about serious wrongdoing or everyday mischief. In each of our manuals we ask the essential question, are your practices delivering the kinds of outcomes you want? If you agree that some don't, we would like to help you explore the reasons for this. We then make a case for an alternative approach and philosophy for addressing wrongdoing and, at the same time, building a safer and more supportive and connected school community.

In this manual, we turn our attention to bullying in schools. We wish to begin by acknowledging the research that has already been done on bullying. Researchers, authors, and experts deserve high praise for their exhaustive and extensive work. Thanks to them we know much about the causes, dynamics and extent of bullying and the damage it does. So, as you read this, you may be thinking, why do we need a different approach? With the greatest respect for the work already done in this field, it is worrying to find that current evaluations by key researchers/writers in the field of school bullying are also indicating that our policy, programmes and practice are not producing the breadth of positive outcomes that we might have hoped for².

Our primary focus here will be to build a case for adopting a different philosophy about the management of bullying in particular, and behaviour management in general. This will require a shift away from traditional bullying management practices to a model based on responsibility, accountability, engagement and support. Consequently, this manual may be interesting to readers who are developing a new mindset and/or a new skill set in the belief that their everyday practice will improve the relationships with, and between, their students. Readers may also feel reassured when reading the manual because it acknowledges and affirms the beliefs upon which they have based their practice.

We hope this manual provides a range of effective processes and guidelines for use by anyone whose job it is to respond to reports of bullying behaviour. We hope that they find these tools and approaches practical and useful in a range of settings: classrooms, corridors, playgrounds, sports fields, excursions and camps, school buses and situations on the way to and from school.

Issues around responding to bullying

When we engage schools in dialogue about the challenges of responding effectively to bullying, or more broadly, implementing effective anti-bullying programmes, inevitably, the following common issues emerge:

• ■ Students are reluctant to report bullying to teachers
• ■ Students want to feel some sense of control over the problem
• ■ Traditional disciplinary methods and responses sometimes make the bullying worse and put victims at further risk
• ■ Perceptions and definitions about teasing, bullying, conflict, aggression and harassment often lead to inconsistent management of incidents
• ■ Cultures of not dobbing" or "telling" in schools are difficult to break down and transform
• ■ Bullying incidents often evoke high level emotion from supporters of either the wrongdoer or victim and this emotion is frequently not discharged or managed positively; in fact it is often ignored completely
• ■ School decision-making in the wake of a bullying incident is often about reducing administrative liabilities (risk avoidance) for what has happened and the harm done
• ■ Failure to acknowledge any contributing factors within the system limits the effectiveness of any response
• ■ Some anti-bullying programmes are flash-in-thepan reforms without any long-term planning and resourcing for sustainability
• ■ In some schools, behaviour management practice does not reflect the anti-bullying messages it promotes
• ■ Real change is only possible when the culture can be changed; how can that be managed, if at all?

When these issues are linked with reflections about desired outcomes for all those affected by bullying and other harmful behaviours, we begin to realise that the traditional approach, which is focused on the wrongdoer getting their “just deserts”, fails miserably to meet the needs of a whole range of people, not the least of whom is the victim. So how can we understand their needs?

First of all, those affected need to become visible. They need a voice in the process. By this we mean being included in the problem-solving and having a major say in how the situation can be made right. Traditional practice has decision-making in the hands of those in authority who “dispense justice” on behalf of the institution in response to violations of the school’s code of conduct.

So what might the victim’s needs be? From our experience, and having listened to countless victims’ stories, …

Victims’ needs may include:

• ■ That the bullying will stop and not happen to them again
• ■ That by reporting the incident it will not cause more trouble for them
• ■ That they are given a chance to tell their story
• ■ That their experience is validated and acknowledged as real
• ■ That the wrongdoer understands how they have affected/hurt them
• ■ That the wrongdoer is genuinely sorry for what they have done to them
• ■ That they don't want the wrongdoer punished
• ■ That they did not invite the bullying because of something they had said or done and to understand why they were the target
• ■ That they can feel safe and comfortable about being at school and be free of a sense of fear and foreboding
• ■ That the process of sorting out the problem is fair and that they have a say in the outcomes; not to be further harmed by the process
• ■ To move on

And what of the needs of the victim’s parents’/carers and friends? How can they make a difference, but not make things worse for their child? What’s it like to have their child come home from school everyday, fearful, depressed and disengaged from their education? Looking at the previous list, would a parent’s/carer’s needs be similar? In addition, might they hope that their child be supported and taught ways to cope, to be assertive and to be more resilient? Might they hope that the wrongdoer be made truly accountable for their behaviour?

We must also explore the needs of the wrongdoer. When we discuss these needs in training programmes and workshops, some participants are perplexed as to why wrongdoers deserve such concern and support. If we want to reduce bullying in our schools we must realise that the needs of wrongdoers are every bit as important as the needs of others. How best can we engage them in a meaningful way? Why should they care about the victim’s feelings and misery, if the system and the people in it do not care for them?

Wrongdoers’ needs may include:

• ■ To be treated with respect and not to be shamed or labelled
• ■ To be treated with dignity and not to lose face
• ■ To have a chance to tell their side of the story
• ■ To be given an opportunity to understand how they have affected others
• ■ To be given a chance to make amends for their behaviour
• ■ To be reconnected with significant others
• ■ To be forgiven by their community
• ■ To be supported in learning how to relate to others positively
• ■ To experience the process of problem-solving as fair and just
• ■ To be able to move on

What we often fail to realise in our traditional thinking about discipline, is the impact on parents and caregivers when they are confronted with the wrongdoing of their child. The experience is hardly one of delight; more often one of embarrassment and humiliation, worry, defensiveness, feeling blamed because of the reflection on their parenting skills, circumstances etc.

Parents’ needs may include:

• ■ That their child is treated with respect and fairness and will not be labelled
• ■ That they are heard and are treated with respect
• ■ That they know their dignity matters
• ■ That there is concern about how they have been affected, along with the victim and the victim's supporters
• ■ That they understand why the bullying has been happening
• ■ That they can play a part in the resolution of the problem
• ■ That they feel supported and that they are not labelled as hopeless
• ■ That there is support for their child – that the school cares about him/her

And what about the needs of those of us in the school who have the responsibility for dealing with these incidents when they arise? What do we want?

Staff needs may include:

• ■ To successfully resolve the problem in the first instance
• ■ To be able to decrease the risk of it happening again
• ■ To be able to make young people accountable for their behaviour
• ■ To get young people to own their behaviour and take responsibility for it
• ■ To have a climate in the classroom and playground where children and teachers feel safe and can get on with learning
• ■ To have our own stories about our worries and frustrations heard and understood
• ■ To ensure a fair process
• ■ To have young people and their parents on-side and working together
• ■ To reinforce the values and standards of the school around what's acceptable and what isn't
• ■ To enlist friends and bystanders to take action

If meeting all these needs (which are not too different in spite of which “side” you are on) looks complicated, we must add to that challenge and discuss a couple of other concepts. These have been mentioned already but require deeper exploration. They are accountability and fair process.

Issues around accountability

For many, the term accountability is synonymous with punishment. Do the crime, do the time. In other words, accountability is usually about the need for consequences for one’s actions, and getting one’s just deserts. Howard Zehr³ has some helpful comments about the limitations of this traditional view of accountability. He explains that this abstract approach runs the risk of the wrongdoer and his/her caregivers focusing on the unfairness of the process and its outcomes. They are subsequently diverted from any useful self-reflection. As long as the consequences are decided for wrongdoers by school officials and therefore “dispensers of justice”, then accountability will not involve responsibility.

Genuine accountability, Zehr argues, is much more complex and demanding; it includes an opportunity to understand the human consequences of one’s actions, to face up to what one has done and to whom one has done it. It means taking responsibility for the results of one’s behaviour. And, where traditional practice fails us so completely, to be allowed and encouraged to help decide how to make things right, and then to be supported to take those steps.

If a young person is to be made genuinely accountable, then, our processes must take into account the ways in which they can discover the harm they have done, not just to the victim, as we understand the meaning of the term, but to everyone else who has been affected, including their own family. In fact, when looking at the community of people most affected by bullying behaviour, everyone is a victim, even the wrongdoer.

Issues around fair process

Fairness can be seen in actions, words and in ways which are appropriate and timely. Fairness is not just about what we do, it’s also about how we do it. We can express the conditions for fairness as:

• ■ A chance to tell our story, to be heard and to let others understand why we did what we did or how we have been harmed
• ■ An opportunity to right the wrongs, to fix things and make amends for mistakes
• Students and teachers having the opportunity for their needs to be addressed
• Having a careful focus on the healing of people and relationships
• ■ Processes to engage and empower students through real and concrete dialogue

• Provision of support to assist those who need to make amends and for others to move on
• School responses and approaches match the seriousness of the wrongdoing
• Schools promoting a sense of community as they work with students and teachers

We all know how frustrating it is when any of the parties involved in a bullying situation experience the system’s response as unfair or unjust. Fairnes...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Acknowledgements
• Contents
• Foreword
• About this manual
• Chapter 1 The case for a different approach
• Chapter 2 Restorative Justice and bullying
• Chapter 3 Restorative responses
• Chapter 4 Managing reluctance and preventing re-victimisation
• Chapter 5 What if?
• Case study Undercover teams
• Case study School bullying audit flowchart
• Case study Boys and skirts
• Case study Looking out for our sons
• Appendix 1 Community conference script
• Appendix 2 The Restorative Dialogue: key questions to manage bullying behaviour
• Appendix 3 Ground rules
• Appendix 4 Seating plan
• Appendix 5 Small group conference script
• Appendix 6 Recommended reading and resources
• Appendix 7 Glossary of terms
• About the authors