Helping Your Pupils to Communicate Effectively and Manage Conflict

Lynette Longaretti, Robyn English

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN: 9781138472167, 9781138472167
• eBook ISBN: 9781136780851
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education General

Why can't you just get along?' This is a question children are commonly asked. But they will usually have a very 'good' reason for their conflict 'Because he's always telling me what to do!'; 'She stole my lunch!'. The fact is that any in social situation there is a potential for conflict. What children need are the skills to manage conflict when

1
What is the relationship between effective communication and conflict management?

Good communication and interpersonal relationships are essential for effective teaching and learning. They are the basis for many of the issues and concerns that teachers and pupils meet daily. Social and personal behaviours are fundamental elements that cross subject areas and impact significantly on pupil learning success. The different personalities, group dynamics and roles that exist within a school give rise to varying types of relationships and interactions. These communications and relationships are not always constructive or satisfying. In schools, there will always be differences, interpersonal conflicts and disagreements. It is important to keep communications positive but sometimes our inability to communicate effectively can, in itself, create conflict. The way in which teachers manage this conflict is pivotal in determining the ethos of the classroom.

Effective communication

Teachers are faced with endless questions relating to both communication and relationships. Any teacher, regardless of their teaching area or level, will often wonder how to:

• develop rapport with pupils
• communicate with pupils who have little or no English
• handle pupil aggression and conflict
• form partnerships with pupils’ parents so that learning and wellbeing is enhanced
• plan, negotiate or disagree about curriculum decisions with their colleagues without causing friction.

This book looks at the characteristics of effective communication and considers the skills essential for forming and sustaining productive relationships. These are fundamental in enhancing a culture of fairness, respect, inclusivity and cooperation in the classroom. Once this culture of positive interaction is established, conflict can be managed with a great deal more success.

Being aware of oneself and expressing oneself is part of communication. The complementary part, important for communication and relationships, is being aware of others — that is, being empathetic. Showing empathy means being able to perceive accurately the experiences of another person. Often we make assumptions about others and their feelings, and we do not check if they are accurate or not. When we are empathetic with others, we check that our assumptions about others are correct. How often do we tell pupils that they should consider others, that they should ‘walk a mile in their shoes’? But how often do we take the time to explicitly teach the skills that are necessary to do this?

Teaching is inextricably linked with forming and sustaining ongoing relationships. Effective communication and conflict management skills are therefore essential.

Communication is an area often taken for granted. We tend to assume that being able to speak automatically implies communication, but this is not always the case. It is imperative that teachers and pupils become skilled in the basics of communication to increase an understanding of each other.

The main purpose of being aware of others is to help one person see, feel and understand things from another person's point of view. This requires specific skills, such as the ability to:

• describe behaviour (rather than evaluate it)
• check one's perceptions (ask rather than assume)
• summarise ideas and reflect feelings through active listening
• give and receive feedback non-judgementally and non-defensively.

Communication is a two-way process. For it to flow, teachers and pupils need a repertoire of skills and strategies to use in any given situation. Of course one type of response may not succeed in a different context. The ability to choose the best approach is a skill in itself. This is critical, considering the different pupils, colleagues and parents that teachers interact with every day.

There are several basic ideals in effective communication. These are:

• being genuine — having a true intention to communicate effectively
• being empathetic — understanding that there are other points of view
• being reflective — taking time to consider what is communicated along with what is an appropriate response
• being respectful — having a positive regard for others.

It is useful to regard these ideals as a backdrop against which the key communication skills rest.

Forms of communication

Messages can be sent in a number of forms. They can also be received and understood in different ways. The two main forms of messages presented in this book are verbal and non-verbal communication.

Verbal communication

Teachers need to use verbal communication effectively to ensure personal rights and promote collaboration in the classroom, as well as to head off potential conflict. Verbal communication is what teachers do most of the time. Research has revealed that teachers do most of the talking in classrooms with very little time directed towards challenging pupils to become involved in talking, questioning, problem solving and higher-order thinking.

Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication is any form of communication that involves the display of expressions and behaviours or cues (see the table on page 5). Meaning is conveyed not only by what is said and how but also by our actions or by what is not stated. Quite often in the classroom, it is that which has not been verbalised by the teacher that can convey the most powerful messages to pupils.

Non-verbal communication is a powerful form of communication, which we learn unconsciously through socialisation, usually at a very young age. Being able to read non-verbal cues without distorting or over-interpreting them is important; however, the ability to do this is not necessarily innate. We need to teach pupils to recognise non-verbal cues, to learn to use non-verbal communication appropriately and to articulate when negative forms of non-verbal communication are occurring in interactions.

Non-verbal cues include:

• physical movement, such as gestures and distance
• physical characteristics, such as gestures and blushing
• facial expressions, such as smiles, frowns and raised eyebrows
• voice-related behaviour, such as tone, pitch, voice level and pauses.

Speaking skills

Assertiveness is a pertinent verbal skill necessary for good communication and conflict management, but it relies on others having active listening skills.

Active speaking skills

Assertiveness	Application
‘I’ messages can be used to take initiative and responsibility when communicating. They should clearly express one's opinions, needs, wants, interests and feelings in a non-threatening and non-defensive way without imposing on the rights of others.	Responding assertively means: Describing the behaviour or situation: ‘I would prefer not to work on the policy tonight.’ Describing your feelings: ‘I feel anxious about not meeting the group's request. I feel torn …’ Describing the consequences for yourself: ‘Because I would miss an important appointment.’

Listening skills

Active listening involves a number of components, which can be divided into three broad categories: attending skills, following skills and reflecting skills. See the following table for an explanation ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• The Little Books of Life Skills
• Full Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• 1 What is the relationship between effective communication and conflict management?
• 2 What are the benefits of effective communication and conflict management?
• 3 The role of the teacher
• 4 Organising the classroom
• 5 Strategies and activities
• 6 Frequently asked questions (and troubleshooting)
• 7 Tips for the teacher
• 8 Assessment and record keeping
• 9 Proformas for the classroom
• 10 Further reading