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The Early Texts
Ecrire? Mais si jâĂ©crivais âJEâ qui serais-je? Je pouvais bien passer sous âJEâ dans le quotidien sans en savoir plus long, mais Ă©crire sans savoir qui-je, comment lâaurais-je fait?
âLa Venue Ă lâĂ©critureâ, p. 39
Write? But if I wrote âIâ, who would I be? I could pass for âIâ in daily life without knowing anything more about it, but write without knowing I-Who, how could I have done that?
âComing to Writingâ, p. 29
My reading in this chapter will focus on HĂ©lĂšne Cixousâ Dedans1 â Inside â as illustrative of her early writing, though reference will also be made to the other fictional texts written between 1967 and 1973. Inside was published in 1969, two years after the collection of stories Le PrĂ©nom de Dieu2 (âThe First Name of Godâ) and in the same year as Cixousâ doctoral thesis LâExil de James Joyce ou lâart du remplacement (The Exile of James Joyce).3 Inside concerns the nascent subject, in relation to the experiences of loss and death which I suggest mark this first period of Cixousâ writing, and it is the text Cixous herself singles out as exemplary in terms of her writing biography in her article âFrom the Scene of the Unconsciousâ.4 My reading of Inside will involve detailed analysis of the text in the light of Cixousâ account of her writing apprenticeship and delineations of Ă©criture fĂ©minine,5 drawing, for its wider theoretical frame, on psychoanalytic descriptions of the selfâs formation.
Inside is the story of the fatherâs death. As Cixous stresses in âFrom the Scene of the Unconsciousâ it was the experience of her own fatherâs death that prompted her to write,6 a point she reiterates in âComing to Writingâ: âat first I really wrote to bar death. Because of a deathâ (p. 5). Writing, Cixous suggests, was initially a means of postponing the work of mourning â âwriting is always first a way of not being able to go through with mourning for deathâ (p. 38) â but then became a medium in which it was possible to recreate â and hence move beyond â loss (p. 8).
It is this process that is the subject of Inside. In âComing to Writingâ Cixous asserts that it was the âhellâ (p. 38) of abandonment and bereavement that provided the motivation for Inside: âits body,â she writes, âis sobbing, stifled breath, blanks and crisesâ (p. 53). âHellâ is at once the chasm of primary loss, and the ongoing agony of the feminine subjectâs struggle to locate herself within an alien order. Exploration of this âhellâ is both necessary and (necessarily) painful if the self is to succeed in emerging from it. As Cixous states in âFrom the Scene of the Unconsciousâ, it involves working through oneâs own primal scene of separation and understanding how the issue of origin has been culturally determined:
first of all inside, the place where one makes acquaintance with mythologies, where one learns the secrets of narratives by way of dreams, where one collides with drives, which Freud called our Titans. One must go and see what is taking place deep down, what is repressed, what prevents us from living or from thinking and which is always on an epic scale, though these are unformed and dangerous epics. One must go back to the origins, work on the mystery of origins, for this is how one comes to work on the mysteries of the end. Going to work on the question of where, where from, in order to work next on next. (pp. 24â5)
Inside opens with an image of enclosure:
MY HOUSE IS SURROUNDED. IT IS ENCIRCLED BY THE IRON GRATING. INSIDE, we live. Outside, they are fifty thousand, they surround us. (p. 7)
The positioning of âinsideâ in the block capitals used to reinforce the image of enclosure immediately alerts the reader to its paradoxical status within the text. âInsideâ is both safe and imprisoning. The âweâ of the opening lines gives place to âIâ, as an imagined struggle between the âIâ and âthe fifty thousand othersâ brings death âinsideâ the enclosure. âInsideâ is described as a place the I must â but also need never â leave:
I must go out. It isnât a duty imposed on me by the others however. I could stay here without ever opening the gate, the house would make it easy. I could grow up, grow old, reach the very end without ever going out. (p. 8)
Inside can be read as a metaphor for the state prior to separation in which the distinction between self and other has still to be figured. Inside is both âinsideâ the pre-Oedipal body in which there is, as yet, no division and âinsideâ the primary loss caused by the fatherâs death.7
Language plays a vital role in the Iâs emergence from this âinsideâ. The I reworks the proposition that âmy father was dead, because he was the bestâ by removing the conjunction and transposing the sentence into the present tense: âthen I made some progress in the art of defending myself and declared: âmy father is dead. He is the bestââ (p. 8). The suppression of the âbecauseâ and substitution of the present tense in the second part of the phrase now enunciated as a separate sentence bring the father (back) to life.
Languageâs role as a medium in which it becomes possible to combat death is developed in the text. In the final section of Inside, language is imaged as providing the self with power over âlife and death, love and lawâ (p. 103). This function of language is also a theme of the short story collection Le PrĂ©nom de Dieu. In âLâOutre Videâ (The Beyond Voidâ) the acquisition of language enables emergence from the womb of death (see p. 12); in âLe Lacâ (The Lakeâ) the fatherâs last letter orders the telling of our lives: âonly what we tell ourselves is immortalâ (p. 153).
One of the questions raised by Inside in the light of Cixousâ depictions of Ă©criture fĂ©minine is the extent to which the text moves beyond a personal exploration of loss and death. In her writing on Blanchotâs The Madness of the Day (see the Introduction above), Cixous suggests that Blanchotâs madness is refused a life of its own within the text as Blanchot struggles to comprehend and control his experience. A similar question is broached here.
In Inside, it is the fatherâs gift of language that provides the central focus (p. 19).8 To begin with it is the sound of the word that attracts â âfirst, Iâd listen to the sound of the new word my father pronouncedâ â while its meaning divides and organizes the world (p. 32).9 This division involves the severance of self and other. The body is no longer whole and co-extensive with its environment but identified as separate âinsideâ an already determined order: âmy fingers were chopped up into joints, my hand, which to me was beautiful and alive, was carved up, jointed, far awayâ (p. 33).10
The fatherâs death coincides with separation from the mother (see, for example, p. 9).11 The Oedipal triangle of father, mother and self is imaged as âthree forces, three kinds of matter, three sorts of spaceâ (p. 17)12 in which the self is the unknown: âin the center there was me and what I could see, I was alone, barely knowing myself (pp. 17â18). Division propels the I into language and the ârealâ of time and history:
yesterday I was little. Today I was somewhere else and someone else. Yesterday time, world, History, life, all forms of knowledge were in my fatherâs head, and I was in his hands, and there was nothing I needed.... I heard the rumblings of the world that I would enter later on.... I had the right to rule in a world created for my pleasure, which was enough for me. What was real interested me not at all for it did not burden me. (p. 17)
The process of separation is also figured in the text through the image of a large, disembodied mouth (pp. 63â5). The mouth is speaking and the proximity of the lips makes them appear immense (p. 63). The mouth is both âinsideâ â talking from as well as to the self â and outside: it is what the I sees. The words spoken by the mouth animate the self, a propulsion depicted in terms of heat and cold:
la fermetĂ© du discours frotte, frotte, pĂ©trit la pate, mâĂ©chauffe, je me creuse, pivote plus vite, vire, je me ramasse vers les commissures, elle mâaspire, je me gonfle en rĂ©ponse, je brĂ»le, ah! je me dĂ©chire, je mâouvre, ah! je gĂšle au milieu lĂ , fermons, resserrons, je prĂ©fĂšre le chaud, la trace du trou au centre est un peu raide, mais jâen profite pour rĂ©sister au froid: on me frappe du dehors, coups brefs, je laisse rentrer lâĂ©cho du bruit, pas plus, dehors le froid! (p. 98)
[the firmness of the speech rubbing, rubbing kneads my pasty mass, firing me up, I hollow myself out, going round faster and faster, turning round, I pick myself up and make for the corners of the mouth, it sucks me in, I swell up in reply, Iâm burning, ah! Iâm being torn apart, Iâm opening up, ah! Iâm freezing in the middle there, letâs close up, tighten up, Iâd rather have the heat, the path made by the hole in the center is a little steep, but Iâm using it to resist the cold: on the outside someone is knocking at me with quick short strokes, I let the echo of the noise come in, no more, out with the cold! (pp. 63â 4)]
This passage, in its endeavour to convey the experiences of the body by repeating key words and sounds, its use of punctuation and accumulation of short phrases within an open sentence structure, presents an interesting illustration of Cixousâ own feminine writing.
The pulsion towards the outside, towards birth of the self, which is at first resisted, is finally acceded to. The image of the mouth and lips, with the hole between, with its evocation of the female sex, underscores the selfâs separation as a form of birth:
I concentrate myself around the lips. I am convinced, closed.... I pull myself together; itâs all done, I make a sign, the mouth says not one word more, we understand each other, but that makes my grief explode: Iâm left so alone and black when it vanishes. (p. 64)
The mouthâs disappearance, its lack, is the necessary condition for birth. Evoking psychoanalytic accounts of the selfâs formation in relation to the mother â who is ultimately perceived as separate since her comings and goings are recognized by the child as beyond its control â the fusion of mouth, language and self (see p. 64) divides and becomes a memory:
I am there, no doubt about it, but I miss it. Later on I miss the mouth and remember, I still miss it, I stay on reaching out toward the space that embraced it, maybe it will speak to me again, I start waiting for it, facing its absence, my smooth bearing, my taut substance, mesmerizing my fibers to the left, I stay on, so Iâm the one who stays and itâs the mouth that comes and goes. (p. 64)
The emphasis on the feminine, unfortunately lost in the English translation, reinforces the link between mouth and mother (both mouth and mother take the feminine gender in French).
The mouthâs disappearance brings into focus a hand. This hand recalls the hand brought into being by language on page 33 of the text (cited above), the hand extended by the lover in Part Two (p. 109), and the Iâs severing of her finger on pages 124â5 â an incident graphically depicting the Iâs castration by the father-lover. Here, the mouthâs removal brings the hand into existence: âa blue hand stretches out palm down, on the left, below. The fingers appearâ (p. 64). The handâs function is not, however, to replace the mouth, but to explore the newly perceived boundaries of the self:
the blue hand hesitates or rather floats, resting on the moving surface that is me, or rather slides over my congealed surface, but where is it going? how far? fine hand long blue fingers sliding up to where I am and then am no more, and suppose it were to go all the way to the edges? (p. 64)
This exploration is linked to the selfâs desire for the lost mouth, in a passage which again employs a striking use of language:
la masse dâespoir se mĂ©tallise, rivĂ©e Ă la cicatrice du trou sans cesse tac tapĂ© toc Ă pe/toc-tits coups toc/de froid, toc, et hop, dâun bond se colle au creux de la paume et nous voilĂ partis vers les bords. (p. 99)
[the thickness of my hope turns to metal, riveted to the holeâs wound knocked over and over again tick tock knock by lit-le/knocks cold/knock, knock, and hop, my thickness clings to the hollow of the palm, and off we go in one leap toward the edges. (p. 65)]
The Iâs desire marks a progression, since the self now exists âinsideâ (an) order:
I a soft amorphous shape without even a center before there was a wound, I trembled, you could have said I barely existed. So there has been progress: I remember, I am extensible, and no doubt prehensible, I can distinguish between large and small, black and blue, form and myself.... Things fall into place, there is progress. (p. 65)
Progress involves âcontradictionâ, since the I now has boundaries distinguishing her from the infinity of the world (p. 65). She is âinsideâ a body demarcated by physical limits: âskin I am inside that skin, stretched out between its lips and fingersâ (p. 65). This insistence on the physical limits of the body is present in an earlier episode in which the I discusses with her brother whether or not there is a âmasterâ beyond our fear (p. 24). The conversation ends with the recognition that our capacities â to dream, move beyond interdiction, âflyâ (p. 25) â are bound only by the limitations of the body. One is âinsideâ the human body; âinsideâ human mortality.13
The mother, taking over from the father, plays a vital role in the selfâs construction:
I owe her... my discovery of social laws.... Shame upon shame, they put me together thus.
... Thus I learned that there was me and there was you, and that I could be one or the other. (p. 15)
The father is imaged retrospectively as the primary sym...