Autoethnographies from the Neoliberal Academy

Rewilding, Writing and Resistance in Higher Education

Jess Moriarty

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9780815371106
• eBook ISBN: 9781351247559
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Social Science Research & Methodology
• Index: Social Sciences

The shift to a neoliberal agenda has, for many academics, intensified the pressure and undermined the pleasure that their work can and does bring. This book contains stories from a range of autoethnographers seeking to challenge traditional academic discourse by providing personal and evocative writings that detail moments of profound transformation and change.

The book focuses on the experiences of one academic and the stories that her dialogues with other autoethnographers generated in response to the neoliberal shift in higher education. Chapters use a variety of genres to provide an innovative text that identifies strategies to challenge neoliberal governance. Autoethnography is as a methodology that can be used as form of resistance to this cultural shift by exploring effects on individual academic and personal lives. The stories are necessarily emotional, personal, important. It is hoped that they will promote other ways of navigating higher education that do not align with neoliberalism and instead, offer more holistic and human ways of being an academic.

This book highlights the impact of neoliberalism on academics' freedom to teach and think freely. With 40% of academics in the UK considering other forms of employment, this book will be of interest to existing and future academics who want to survive the new environment and maintain their motivation and passion for academic life.

SCENE 1

Jess Moriarty

We will have to face these issues of modern subjectivity … such as responsibility within a context of uneasy conscience where one realizes one is often the oppressor of someone else.

(Minh-ha, 1991, p. 114)

(Kitchen. ELLIE sits at the table doing her homework while JESS organises dinner. JESS keeps looking at the door. JESS catches ELLIE watching her and moves to the table.)

jess:: How you getting on? Let’s see…

ellie: Not yet. You’ll only say what’s wrong with it.

jess: I want to help!

ellie: I’m not one of you students.

jess: I know that. (looks at door again) But you’ve spelt cheetah wrong again. It’s ah, not er.

ellie: Fifth time.

jess: What?

ellie: Fifth time.

jess: Fifth time what? It’s the first time you’ve let me look!

ellie: Yes! And already you’re on at me! Fifth time you’ve looked at the door. What is it?

jess: Nothing. I’m just waiting for your father.

ellie: Why?

jess: Because I’m excited to see him!

(ELLIE laughs.)

jess: Well I am!

ellie: He won’t be off the bypass yet.

(JESS looks at door again and then back at ELLIE’s homework before checking the dinner and then the laptop on the table.)

jess: (as she moves round) Oh, I think he might have left early today. I think he’ll want to get back … and you’ve spelt jungle jangle.

ellie:: MUM! I know how you spell it? It’s just how my u’s look.

jess: Well make them look like u’s! I don’t want another ‘chat’ with Miss Fields.

ellie: No, she won’t want another lecture from you on creativity in the classroom.

jess: That is not what happened…

ellie: Really? Because it sounded like you were having a go at her.

jess: Well, I was worried she’d damaged your confidence… .

ellie: So you damaged hers?

jess: Yes. No! (looks at homework) Oooh. That’s good. Why don’t you add in a detail? What do you think the jungle would sound like or smell like?

ellie: Later. I have to add in a subjective clause here…

jess: Eh? What do you mean?

ellie: That’s how you write a poem? That’s what Miss Fields says. Onomatopoeia here and then a subjective clause on the next line. It’s what we were taught.

jess: But if you all write to a formula, all the poems will look the same? What about your own ideas and imagination?

ellie: Miss Fields didn’t mention that. Maybe it’s not in the curriculum?

(JESS looks at door again)

ellie: One hundred millionth time … Mum!! What is it?? Have you two had a row?

jess: No. Not yet anyway.

ellie: What do you mean?

jess: Oh, nothing, baby, nothing. Don’t worry. I’m probably being stupid.

ellie: Mum?

jess: (looking at door and then back to emails on the laptop) Mmm?

ellie: Can I ask you something?

jess: Yes of course … oh, shit the bed.

ellie: MUM!!!

jess: What? Oh, sorry. Sorry, love. Shit.

ellie: Mum??

jess: Sorry, sorry, it’s just…

ellie: Just what?

jess: Just. Well. So.

ellie: C’mon mum?

jess: So, you remember that charity I signed up? With the refugee charity?

ellie: The one where a refugee comes to live with you when they’ve got nowhere else to go?

jess: Yes that’s the one.

ellie: That was ages ago. I thought they didn’t want us.

jess: Well you are right, it was ages ago because the government makes it very hard for refugees in this country, they can’t get jobs and they only get £45 a week to live, so just when they’ve lost everything, we make them feel like we don’t want them, either.

ellie: That sucks.

jess: Yes, it really does. But now they’ve contacted us to see if we still have a room for someone to stay with us!

ellie: When? Soon? Is it a boy or a girl? Where are they from? Did they get here on a boat?

jess: It’s a man, and no, he’s been here for a while trying to get his case heard and he’s been homeless and needs somewhere safe to stay while he gets status in this country.

ellie: Where’s he from? Far away?

jess: Africa. Zimbabwe, actually.

ellie: Does he have any family?

jess: (hesitates) No darling. No, he doesn’t anymore. They are all dead.

ellie: Oh. How did they die?

jess: Some men came to his house and. And. And now it’s not safe for him to be there.

ellie: But he’ll be all right now, won’t he? He won’t have to go back, will he?

jess: No. I mean, I hope not. Surely not? I mean, I don’t know.

ellie: Mum? Can I…

(Door opens and LUKE rushes in.)

luke: No fucking way. (glances at ELLIE) Sorry, love. (looks back at JESS) No fucking way.

jess: LUKE…

luke: Are you crazy?? I mean, this was all right as an idea, at first, y’know, when you said “let’s get a refugee” I sort of thought, “well, OK. Let’s see how far she takes this one, then” but now?

jess: LUKE, I…

luke: And I thought it would be a Syrian refugee, a woman, but this? I mean no fucking way, JESS. It’s not fair. It’s not right.

jess: Look, I know why you are upset…

luke: Upset?? Up-fucking-set?? No, JESS, I am not upset cos it is not happening, end of. Your fella, from Zimbabwe, with the six-pack and biceps like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Are you mad?

ellie: (looks at JESS) You didn’t mention that.

jess: I know, I know. Look, I’m sorry. You are right, but why did we sign up in the first place if not to help someone?

luke: No. Stop. Stop. “We” did not sign up. I didn’t. ELLIE didn’t. You did. (impersonates JESS) “Oh I know! Let’s get a refugee so I don’t feel guilty about watching children wash up on beaches. That will solve everything that’s wrong in the world! That will fix my white privilege.”

(Room falls silent. After a time, JESS gets up and opens the oven. Clouds of smoke billow out, and JESS dumps something inedible on the kitchen table.)

jess: I hope you’re hungry.

(ELLIE and LUKE giggle.)

luke: I’m sorry.

jess: Don’t be. I actually agree with everything you just said.

(ELLIE gasps and LUKE looks shocked.)

jess: You are right. It was arrogant and selfish pretending to be virtuous and kind. But what now? We signed up because it isn’t right that refugees don’t have homes, that they aren’t welcomed here. What do I say? “Thanks for sending the photos of the former Mr Zimbabwe. Unfortunately, that’s not the sort of refugee we want”?

luke: So, if they’d offered us a supermodel, you’d have been thrilled she was living with us for God knows how long, would you?

jess: Yes. I don’t know. Probably not. But would I have stopped someone having a home because they made me feel insecure? I hope not. I really do.

luke: Great. So now I get to be the bad guy?

jess: No, it isn’t like that.

luke: Good old JESS, just trying to save the world, and I’m just the arsehole who said no?

ellie: You are not an arsehole, dad.

jess: ELLIE! She’s right, though. You aren’t.

ellie: If a refugee comes to look after us, will we have to lock all our valuables away and hide our bank statements?

luke: What valuables? What bank statements, for that matter?

jess: Who said that, ELLIE?

ellie: Flora’s dad said it to Flora’s mum when they came over for dinner that time and you told them about the website and signing up. It was while you were getting the cheese. They said you were mad.

luke: Mad to have them over for dinner maybe!

jess: Did he really say that?

ellie: Yeah. And she agreed, and told him to be quiet. She said you were being stupid.

jess: But she’s a social worker, for Chrissakes! We met them at the pub quiz!

luke: People who like trivia and drinking can also be racist, JESS?

jess: I’m just surprised, OK? I thought that they were a bit more like us.

luke: They are like us! Everyone says how terrible the refugee crisis is, over a soy latte or while washing the Audi, but who else do you know that signed up to house a refugee? Who?

jess: I dunno…

luke: Yes, you do! Come on! Who? How many of our caring lefty mates?

jess: No one.

luke: That’s right. Not one.

jess: So does that mean we shouldn’t, too? If even in Brighton, even here where we all voted remain and all joked Trump was a sexist twat who couldn’t possibly get elected – even here? Doesn’t that make you sad? I mean, really, really sad?

luke: Yes. It does. But it doesn’t surprise me, either. You get a lot more money from Airbnb then you do for hosting a refugee.

ellie: Errr. You don’t get any money for hosting a refugee, dad. They don’t have any.

luke: Bloody hell, JESS. (sits down by laptop)

jess: OK, LUKE! I get it. I get it, OK? So what now?

(Family pause.)

ellie: I want a pizza.

jess: And I want a glass of wine. Come on? Let’s get our shoes on and go out for dinner?

luke: Well, make the most of it. There’ll be no more meals out when we have another mouth to feed.

jess: Is that a yes?

luke: No, it most certainly is not. I’m just trying to show Ellie that I just want the best for us. For our family. I work really hard so we can go out every time your mother burns the dinner.

ellie: You could make the dinner, dad?

jess: Don’t be silly, darling. Your father is the type of feminist who has every meal cooked for him.

luke: Or burnt for him.

jess: Don’t push it! I said sorry.

ellie: Daddy?

luke: What is it, love?

ellie: I think I would like a refugee here. I think if I was somewhere in the world with nowhere to stay and no one to help me, you’d want someone to help me and you wouldn’t want them to care what I looked like. You would just want them to make sure I was OK.

jess: (smiles gently at ELLIE) You go and get your coat. Let’s go and get that pizza. Besides, you never told me what it is you wanted to talk about.

ellie: Oh, it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter now.

(ELLIE leaves to get her coat.)

jess: The email was to both of us. Why don’t you respond and I swear on Ellie’s life, whatever you decide, I will support you. I know you will do what’s best for this family. You always do.

luke: Always?

jess: OK, not always – hardly ever, in fact – but I trust you. And I don’t want to make you do something that doesn’t sit right with you. I know how unhappy your home life has been in the past, and I don’t want that for you. Ever. Again.

(ELLIE comes back in.)

jess: Right! Let me grab my purse. (She leaves)

luke: Oh, I like your coat! Is that new?

ellie: No. You’ve seen it before?

luke: Have I? Oh, well. You have such a lot of lovely things.

ellie: Dad? Can I tell you something?

luke: (Looking at emails on laptop) Of course, darling. What is it?

ellie: I…

(JESS comes in.)

jess: What is it, baby?

ellie: Well, I, I, I got my first pube today!

luke: WHAT? NO! You are too young!

ellie: I thought so, too, but I have! I saw it at break time when I went to the toilets by the Year 6 corridor cos it’s warmer in there and the boys don’t try and come in. And there it was! A black one!

jess: Oh ELLIE, that is so exciting! Our baby’s growing up!

luke: Too fast.

ellie: Do you wanna see?

luke: Eh??

jess: (Quickly) Of course we do! And then we must go out and celebrate! I am thrilled for you. Nip upstairs and I’ll come and have a look.

(ELLIE leaves, happy.)

luke: Surely she’s too young? She’s only 9! Should we take her to the doctor?

jess: Why? She’s a healthy, happy kid? Why scare her? We need to be positive.

luke: She’s only just learnt her 4 times table!

JESS: Yeah? Well, so have you!

(JESS goes to follow ELLIE, looks back at LUKE reproachfully.)

luke: I’ll be there in a sec. I just want to ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• List of figures
• List of contributors
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction: all the voices in my head
• Scene 1 Jess Moriarty
• Scene 2 Jess Moriarty
• Scene 3 Jess Moriarty
• Scene 4 Jess Moriarty
• Scene 5 Jess Moriarty
• Index