Clinical Issues with Interracial Couples

Theories and Research

Volker Thomas, Joseph L. Wetchler, Terri Karis

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2014
• Print ISBN: 9780789021809
• eBook ISBN: 9781317787365
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Mental Health in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

Go beyond cookie-cutter therapy and interventions to provide culturally relevant therapy that works for your clients in interracial relationships!

With this book, you'll explore an array of relational issues faced by various configurations of interracial couples. Then you'll learn specific intervention strategies for treating these couples in therapy. The first section presents research and theoretical chapters on issues faced by interracial couples who are heterosexual; the second focuses on issues facing racially mixed gay and lesbian couples; and the third provides you with specific interventions to use with couples in interracial relationships. Clinical Issues with Interracial Couples: Theories and Research is an important addition to the collection of any therapist who counts an interracial couple among his or her clients.

From the editors: Although interracial couples face challenges related to differences in their racial backgrounds, couple and family theories have had little to say about how to work with these differences. Not all couples are white, married, and heterosexual, and there is a growing understanding that clinical practices based on these assumptions may not be adequate when working with interracial couples. Recognizing the diversity of our clients, the intent of this book is to contribute to more respectful and inclusive clinical practices that can address the treatment issues we face in the first decade of the twenty-first century.

The first section of this book examines challenges faced by heterosexual interracial couples, focusing on:

• how black/white couples experience and respond to racism and how they negotiate the racial and ethnic differences they face in their relationships
• the significance of raceor lack of itin white women's relationships with black men, with suggestions on how to create a therapeutic space for discussing race without over-determining its significance
• marriages where one partner is of Latino/a descent and the other of non-Latino/a white descenta pilot study of a rarely investigated population!
• approaches, interventions, and strategies to use when treating multicultural Muslim couples
• Hawaii's unusual history of interracial ties and relationships, the common challenges that face interracial couples there, and therapeutic interventions that can benefit them

The second section of Clinical Issues with Interracial Couples looks at the issues faced by same-sex interracial couples. Here is a sample of what you'll find:

• clinical considerations for working with interracial/intercultural lesbian couples
• pitfalls to avoid in therapy as well as suggestions for a conceptual approach for gay Latino men in cross-cultural relationships

The book's final section presents interventions for use with interracial couples. Here you'll find:

• assessment techniques and interventions geared toward black-white couples
• information on doing effective therapy with Latino/a-white couples
• a case study of the therapeutic process as applied to an Asian-American woman married to a white man
• seven therapists' perspectives on working with interracial couplesfocusing on the historical context of intermarriage, specific concerns and issues that interracial couples experience in their relationships, and the experiences of therapists working with this diverse and challenging client population

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CLINICAL ISSUES WITH INTERRACIAL COUPLES: THEORIES AND RESEARCH

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Homogamy Outlaws: Interracial Couples’ Strategic Responses to Racism and to Partner Differences

Kyle D. Killian

SUMMARY. This study explores how black-white interracial couples experience and respond to racism and how they negotiate racial and ethnic difference in their relationships. Twelve black-white couples were interviewed individually and conjointly, and the descriptive data were analyzed using a grounded theory approach. Results reflect interracial couples’ strategic responses to negative public reactions and how they resist and comply with the discourse of homogamy in their relationship. Implications for couple and family therapists working with interracial couples are discussed. [Article copies available for a fee from The Haworth Document Delivery Service: I-8OO-HAWORTH. E-mail address: <docdelivery@ haworthpress.comampdontgtsemi Website: <www.HaworthPress.com> © 2003 by The Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved.]

KEYWORDS. Interracial, couples, family therapy, race, ethnicity, difference, homogamy

INTRODUCTION

Heterogamy between partners has become increasingly common in recent years (Kalmijn, 1993; Surra, 1990) with black-white couples quadrupling in number since 1970 (Domokos-Cheng Ham, 1995). However, the dominant discourse of mate selection in the larger society and in the fields of psychology and marriage and the family still remains homogamy. Heterogamous couples, in which partners differ on race, ethnicity, ¹ social class, and education, are an exception to this principle of homogamy (Gadberry & Dodder, 1993; Houts, Robins, & Huston, 1997; Kalmijn, 1998; Knox, Zusman, & Nieves, 1998; Surra, 1990). “Birds of a feather flock together” and “stick to your own kind” are familiar phrases representing ethnocentric, prejudicial attitudes and practices of both exclusion and homogamous mate selection. Interracial couples employ various strategic responses to acts of overt and covert racism from families, social networks, and the larger society, social systems that directly or indirectly punish those who cross the border of race. This article explores these survival strategies and their implications for interracial couples and the helping professionals who work with them. Drawing from individual and conjoint interviews with 12 black-white couples, I present couples’ experiences with, and their strategic responses to, racism in the larger society and discuss ways partners deal with racial and ethnic differences in self and other. Finally, I discuss implications of these strategies for couple and family therapists working with interracial couples.

THE DOMINANT DISCOURSE OF HOMOGAMY

Dominant discourses are systems of “statements, practices, and institutional structures that share common values” (Hare-Mustin, 1994, p. 19) and sustain a particular worldview (Clifford, 1986). One such discourse, homogamy, holds that people are attracted to one another because of their similarities in background. Shared characteristics, such as race, religion, education, income, age, and other demographic and status variables, have been considered to be major factors in the mate selection process (Surra, 1990) and thought to predict relationship success and satisfaction. Heterogamous mate selection practices run counter to this discourse of homogamy. Various notions or “rationales” of why persons do not, or should not, select partners across the border of race continue to be prevalent in our society. Porterfield (1982) stated that “it is not surprising that strong norms against racial intermarriage should be accompanied by beliefs that such marriages are fraught with special hazards and are likely to fail” (p. 25). Embodying this prevailing ideology of the larger society, homogamy is also utilized by white supremacists as a rationale for maintaining social and geographic segregation of persons from different races in an effort to maintain white racial purity (Ferber, 1998; Root, 2001).

Have the norms of intolerance toward interracial relationships changed? Sixty-four percent of Americans approve of interracial marriages today compared to an approval rate of only 20% in 1968 (Gregory, 1993). Thus, while the number of interracial couples has risen remarkably over the past three decades and the level of approval is also on the rise, about one-third of Americans still outright disapprove or are not certain if they approve of interracial marriage. This supports past findings that partners from different racial backgrounds are likely to experience disapproval from society (Belkin & Goodman, 1980; Porterfield, 1982; Rosenblatt, Karis, & Powell, 1995). While laws change, and schools and communities have become desegregated across the U.S., social barriers to interracial relationships persist. In this article, I examine how the discourse of homogamy operates at two systemic levels, that of the larger community and society within which couples move and interact, and the level of the couple relationship in which partners choose strategies to negotiate their differences.

DEFINING RACISM AND DISCRIMINATION

The formation of a couple identity involves a search for mutuality, which, in turn, involves attempts to reach agreement on what is important in the relationship and how the couple will deal with the outside world. Because of the prevalence of racism in the larger social context (Brown, 1987; Paset & Taylor, 1991; Porterfield, 1982), partners in interracial relationships historically have experienced hostility and rejection. Stemming from a set of prejudiced beliefs and attitudes, racism is manifested in both overtly hostile actions and more subtle, “dysconscious” acts directed against persons of color (Rains, 1998). Racist actions range from denial of goods and services, to psychological intimidation, to verbal and/or physical assault, to murder. Racial discrimination may be defined as concrete actions which adversely affect the personal safety, security, or social and economic opportunities of persons whose skin color or ethnic heritage differs from that of the perpetrator. Racism and discrimination are manifested in the attitudes and behaviors of individuals as well as in the actions of larger societal institutions. Persons who discriminate against interracial couples may believe it is “immoral” or “unnatural” for persons of different racial groups to form couple relationships. While individual racism manifests itself in the behavior of one person or small groups of people, institutional racism involves the adverse, discriminatory behavior and policies of larger institutional structures. Institutions such as school boards, banks, and real estate agencies have engaged in discrimination against individual persons of color and interracial couples (Dalmage, 2000). Thus, opposition to interracial couples and persons of color takes concrete, material forms. If choosing a partner from a different racial background made no difference in a person’s life, then research participants would have few stories to tell about their experiences of racism. But racism does manifest itself in myriad ways in a racially stratified culture, and since it affects everyone, it necessarily has an impact on black and white couples as well. Racism’s impact is different for different people, including white and black partners in interracial relationships.

METHOD

Sample

The sample comprised 12 black-white couples who had been married for a minimum of one year and had at least one child together. Participants ranged from 23 to 49 years of age and were diverse in regard to family of origin background, social class, education, and income. Because approximately 75% of black-white married couples are black male-white female (Domokos-Cheng Ham, 1995; Rosenblatt, Karis, & Powell, 1995), the sample comprised nine black male-white female couples, and three black female-white male couples.

Procedure

Data were collected through semi-structured, in-depth interviews with the individual spouses and couples (36 interviews in total). Each interview was 1.5–2 hrs long. I prepared specific queries in advance and also kept the interview flexible to allow for the inclusion of material deemed important by the participants. First, I interviewed the spouses separately in order to solicit thoughts and feelings that might not have been shared in their partners’ presence. Then, immediately prior to conducting the couple interviews, I asked each partner individually to share additional thoughts or perceptions that had occurred to him/her since our first meeting. I audiotaped the interviews with the participants’ permission and kept field notes to capture important ideas and observations.

A Grounded Theory Approach to Analysis

Following transcription of the interviews, the data were coded and analyzed using the grounded theory approach (Charmaz, 1983; Glaser & Strauss, 1967; Strauss & Corbin, 1998) aided by HyperRESEARCH, a software program (ResearchWare, 1999). The first stage of inductive analysis method involves the categorization and sorting of data into codes or labels that serve to separate, compile, and organize descriptive data (Charmaz, 1983). HyperRESEARCH permits the researcher to assign multiple codes to the same data, and then store and retrieve coded data. Coding categories can be retrieved and combined over a set of interviews through data reports, which are organized through the use of descriptors and/or the selection of multiple codes. A method of constant comparison was used to capture commonalties (recurring themes, phrases, and discourses) in the experiences of the participants. This method is intended for studies with multiple sources of data and, thus, is appropriate for this study because each participant spouse is considered a separate data source. The individual responses of the participants were analyzed first individually, and then spouses’ perspectives were compared for similarities and differences within couples.

INTERRACIAL COUPLES’ EXPERIENCES OF HOMOGAMY’S EFFECTS

In my study, most partners made frequent references to the racism and prejudice they had experienced. Here a white female talks about her awareness of a persistent intolerance:

Barbara: There is a lot of prejudice out there. It seems like people are almost accepting that there are black people in the world, and white people and Mexican and all this, but the bottom line for most people is that you don’t get married [to them] and you certainly don’t have kids [with them].

The interviews were replete with examples of incidents occurring in the public context, from subtle cues of avoidance and exclusion from conversations, to more obvious behaviors, such as people staring in restaurants and turning around on the street to get a second look. Here are examples from three different couples:

Interviewer: Could you two give me examples of public reactions?

Steve: Well, at the mall. We have the stare-down contests.

Tahnee: Restaurants. Once we sit down, people will just watch us. [A local restaurant] has little cubicles so that it is semi-private when you eat. A few years back there was an older couple sitting across from us and they just kept staring and staring.

Katrina: Sometimes, depending on where we are, like at the mall or whatever, there’s a group of young black girls and they will be like, “Damn, he shouldn’t be with her.” Little things-people just have this perception where if you don’t look like somebody else you shouldn’t be with them.

Hillary: These people masquerade and go around and pretend that they are oh-so-cool and everybody’s alright, but I see when people are in the office and Ian comes in, they’re wondering what relationship he is to me, and if I tell them he’s my husband, they don’t know how to react.

STRATEGIC RESPONSES TO RACISM AND HOMOGAMY

Couples utilize a host of strategies to cope with negative attention in public situations. Six strategies presented here are “fighting fire with fire, ” “making a special effort, ” disassociating from one another, restricting itinerary, not discussing public reactions, and deprioritizing racial and ethnic differences. Here are some excerpts from the interviews that highlight these six strategies.

“Fighting Fire with Fire”

Interviewer: What was your reaction to their reaction?

Barbara: I was mad; I would stare them back down. That’s what I would do, because I was a college student (laugh).

Steve: I get a kick out of it, because I like to stare at them, you know, I get right in their face, “Look, you got a problem with this?” As long as I look a little nutty, they will keep their distance and that works….

Anita: The least amount of negative energy I get, I’ll do one of two things: I either scowl back at that person or I’ll hug Fred tighter. I used to do that a lot; now I just sort of get into Fred and not care too much about what people are thinking because this is the person I love….

“Making a Special Effort”

Debra: I do remember [Larry] saying one time when the kids were little that it was important when we did go out as a family that we were clean, that we presented ourselves well, that we looked nice, not that we needed to dress expensively, but that you didn’t want to go out and make a bad impression. Because when we go out, maybe people are going to take a second glance more often, and for those people who might tend to have negative impressions anyway, there’s no reason to reinforce those impressions.

Disassociating from One Another

Fred: There are a couple of circumstances that we find ourselves in, like riding public transportation late at night or on the north side-

Anita: Yeah, we have something called “north-mode, ” and that’s where we try to neutralize and don’t try to look as provocative.

Fred: We may sit on separate sides and we don’t look like we’re together.

Anita: Yeah, we’ll want to protect each other. If we’re going very deep into the north side to visit my sisters and stuff, ‘cause we have to pass through there, then we really just chill, chill big.

Interviewer: Is there any other place where you might go into north-mode?

Anita: Places where there are either a lot of black people or white–

Fred: Usually black men.

Anita: Yeah, ‘cause they’re like “What are you doing with my sister?” or “What are you doing with him?, ” and you don’t want to excite certain kinds of people.

Restricting Itinerary

Interviewer: Is “comfo...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• About the Editors
• Introduction
• Clinical Issues with Interracial Couples: Theories and Research
• Interracial Issues with Same-Sex Couples
• Interventions with Interracial Couples
• Index