Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy

Debra J. Mashek, Arthur Aron, Debra J. Mashek, Arthur Aron

• Publisher: Psychology Press
• Year: 2004
• ISBN:
  9781135632397
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Educational Psychology

This handbook brings together the latest thinking on the scientific study of closeness and intimacy from some of the most active and widely recognized relationship scholars in social and clinical psychology, communication studies, and related disciplines. Each contributing author defines their understanding of the meaning of closeness and intimacy; summarizes existing research and provides an overview of a theoretical framework; presents new ideas, applications, and previously unstated theoretical connections; and provides cross-references to other chapters to further integrate the material. The Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy will be of interest to researchers, practitioners, and students from social, clinical, and developmental psychology; family studies; counseling; and communication.

1

Introduction

Debra J. Mashek

George Mason University

Arthur P. Aron

State University of New York at Stony Brook

This Handbook is about closeness and intimacy, bringing together the latest thinking on these topics from a group of the most active and widely recognized relationship scholars in social psychology, clinical psychology, communication studies, and related disciplines. Precisely what we mean by closeness and intimacy is a topic in its own right (and a central theme of some of the chapters in this volume). There are indeed multiple definitions; in fact, some researchers see closeness and intimacy as very different things. However, the processes and experiences characterized as close or intimate generally include such features as a sense of connectedness, shared understandings, mutual responsiveness, self-disclosure, and intersubjectivity.

This Handbook is specifically about closeness and intimacy, not about processes occurring in the context of close relationships more generally. Nevertheless, one cannot study closeness and intimacy without considering its links with other relationship concepts and processes, such as love, satisfaction, sexuality, attachment, commitment, and passion, or with relationship development, maintenance, and loss. The chapters included in this volume maintain a tight focus on closeness and intimacy by considering these other relationship phenomena primarily in the context of their links with intimacy and closeness.

There are several other books that address relationship concepts and processes more generally, notably including the Handbook of Personal Relationships (Duck, 1997) and the Blackwell Handbook of Social Psychology Interpersonal Processes (Fletcher & Clark, 2000). What stands out about our Handbook is that for the first time the specific focus is on the pivotal phenomena of closeness and intimacy. Hence, this Handbook establishes closeness and intimacy as a substantial subarea of relationship science as well as reflects the latest thinking of a large group of top researchers in the rapidly advancing field of relationship science. Thus, at least for the moment, this volume serves as a compendium of the state of the art in relationship science. Most important, although more broadly focused books (or books on other subareas within relationship science) will inevitably supplant this one as a window on the science of relationships in general, we expect that this Handbook will for some time remain the key sourcebook for the specific area of closeness and intimacy.

SOME BACKGROUND

Relationships are central to human experience and thus have been discussed since the very earliest literary and scholarly work, dating from (in the West at least) ancient Greek civilization. Indeed, it is surprising that during the last two centuries, major disciplines such as psychology, sociology, and related fields, have generally relegated relationships to the margins. Only in the last twenty years or so has there been any major effort to apply the methods and theories of these fields to understanding relationships. The beginning of these major efforts is marked by the first International Conference on Personal Relationships held in Madison, Wisconsin in 1982 and the publication of Kelley et al.’s (1983) Close Relationships. These ground-breaking developments were quickly followed by the establishment of professional organizations, regular regional and international scientific meetings, and scholarly journals devoted specifically to relationships. Relationship researchers were appointed to editorships of major journals in the larger disciplines, substantial research grants were awarded by the chief funding agencies for research in this area, and many young scientists and scholars were devoting their careers to studying relationships. As a result, productive lines of research have been established, several fruitful theoretical models have been developed and tested, and there is now a solid and rapidly growing body of relationship knowledge.

As a field of study advances, it naturally penetrates deeper into the specifics. Thus, relationship science has moved to greater specialization, including considerable research and thinking focused on closeness and intimacy. The work in this area is still, necessarily, embedded in the larger field of relationship science, and there are few established relationship researchers who see themselves studying only closeness and intimacy. Indeed, many who contribute to understanding closeness and intimacy do not even see themselves as primarily relationship scientists. Yet, there is already a substantial body of work that is specifically focused on closeness and intimacy and a number of young scientists are building their laboratories and focusing their careers on these topics. Today, within the close relationship domain, and perhaps in the various relevant larger disciplines, the study of closeness and intimacy garners considerable respect comparable to the study of commitment, satisfaction, and interaction processes. Closeness and intimacy themes are also studied across relationship types, being central to the study of both friendships and romantic relationships, and are often given considerable attention in cross-generational and other family relationships. Thus, a critical mass of work has emerged. But the study of closeness and intimacy has not yet gelled into a fully coherent field with researchers regularly citing (or in some cases even being aware of) each other and building on each other’s work: Hence this Handbook.

WHY THE NEED FOR A HANDBOOK?

Given the explosion of “handbooks” over the last decade, one might wonder whether there really is a need for yet another, especially one that focuses on what might at first appear to be a relatively narrow topic (after all, we already have The Handbook of Personal Relationships). Our opinion is admittedly biased, but we feel that a handbook is vital—in fact, and is,—if the accumulation of knowledge about these processes is to progress in an integrated fashion. As described above, many people, from many disciplines and many subdisciplines, explore phenomena that are either directly related to or richly informed by the ideas and traditions that lead to this volume. As a result, there is a wealth of knowledge and thinking on closeness and intimacy. Yet, and perhaps surprisingly, much of this knowledge is disjointed, lacking coherence and continuity. Rarely do we find an article (much less an entire book) that synthesizes meaningfully the tenets, findings, and applications of different perspectives on the central relationship processes of closeness and intimacy—stated metaphorically, many parallel roads traverse the closeness and intimacy map.

As the various programs of empirical research and theoretical thinking on closeness and intimacy swell, it is time to connect these parallel lines of inquiry in a way that both maintains their individual integrity and builds on their collective insights. This Handbook attempts to achieve this goal by bringing together active researchers, theorists, and clinicians—all of whom have made a substantial contribution to the study of closeness and intimacy. The result, we hope, is a book that will be of value to everyone interested in relationships because of the breadth and depth of its coverage, the timeliness of the topic in light of the current surge of interest in it, and the array of creative new thinking embodied in the chapters.

WHAT KIND OF HANDBOOK IS THIS?

The chapters that make up this handbook generally share four characteristics. First, most state clearly at the outset what the authors mean by closeness or intimacy. As the reader will notice, these oft-used terms are a challenge to pin down precisely. Nevertheless, the parallels among articulations are striking (these parallels are discussed directly chapter 23, “Conclusion”). Second, many of the contributors summarize an existing program of research, offering a clear overview of a theoretical framework focused directly on the topics of closeness and intimacy (rather than on close relationships more generally). Third, to complement rich ideological histories, the chapters contain a plethora of new ideas, new applications, and previously unstated theoretical connections. Instead of reviewing only already-published ideas and findings, contributors approached their chapters in a forward-thinking manner. Finally, most of the chapters benefited from peer reviews prepared by other chapter contributors (in addition to reviews from the two editors), which is an element of the book’s production that we believe enhanced cross-chapter coherence and contributed to the quality of the finished product.

The resulting Handbook is more than a simple anthology of ideas. By weaving together arrayed tenets, findings, and applications, contributors have created a tapestry— a compendium of integrated knowledge. Most important, embedded in these chapters are findings that challenge commonly held assumptions about closeness and intimacy. In our concluding chapter, we complete the tapestry by attempting to articulate the places where many lines converge and by identifying the areas that will clearly benefit from additional attention.

HOW IS THIS HANDBOOK ORGANIZED?

The chapters are organized around the following six general, interrelated questions:

1. What are closeness and intimacy? (chapters 2—5)
2. How can closeness and intimacy be measured? (chapters 6—8)
3. What are the general processes of closeness and intimacy? (chapters 9—12)
4. What are the general processes of closeness and intimacy? (chapters 9—12)
5. What individual differences play a role in closeness and intimacy? (chapters 13—15)
6. What situational factors play a role in closeness and intimacy? (chapters 16—18)
7. Is there a dark side to closeness and intimacy? (chapters 19—22)

Section I, entitled What are closeness and intimacy? helps to define the domain addressed in this Handbook and provides a foundation for understanding the issues and arguments addressed in subsequent sections. This section, and indeed the book, begins logically with a chapter by Fehr (chapter 2) that focuses on the conventional understanding of intimacy and how that perception is constructed. Most important, Fehr addresses the question of whether men and women differ in how they interpret and develop intimacy. By beginning the book with an articulation of how most people understand the constructs of interest, Fehr helps the reader to more clearly make sense of psychological theory and findings. The other chapters in this section present theoretical views of closeness and intimacy, along with supporting research. A. Aron, Mashek, and E. Aron (chapter 3) argue that closeness, as defined by researchers, corresponds to including in one’s self another person’s resources, perspectives, and identities. Next, Prager and Roberts (chapter 4) argue that “deep intimate connection” is possible only when the organismic self is congruent with the self-concept, a state that allows for authentic self-disclosure and understanding. Finally, Laurenceau, Rivera, Schaffer, and Pietromonaco (chapter 5) examine empirical support for the notion that intimacy can be understood as an interpersonal process involving responses to emotional self-disclosures involving understanding, validation, and caring. Their chapter also highlights aspects of the interpersonal process model of intimacy that would benefit from additional theoretical investigation and empirical testing. Section I, then, presents a wide-lens picture of the closeness and intimacy map; subsequent sections aim to make the topography of the landscape even richer.

Section II addresses our second overarching question, How can closeness and intimacy be measured? This section builds on the first by addressing the issue of measurement. How can one assess these seemingly very complex constructs? First, Bersheid, Snyder, and Omoto (chapter 6) focus on their relationship closeness inventory (RCI), a measure based on interdependence theory that assesses closeness as the amount and diversity of interaction with the other and the amount of influence the other has over the self. They review research that has used this influential measure since its introduction 15 years ago, focusing on research demonstrating its successful application to diverse types of relationships across cultures. Agnew, Loving, Le, and Goodfriend (chapter 7) then describe a second influential and simple measurement tool, the inclusion of other in self (IOS) scale, a method based directly on the notion of closeness described in chapter 3 by A. Aron and colleagues. These authors offer new ideas concerning both the implementation and interpretation of the IOS scale, including the generality versus the specificity of inclusion and how it functions at different relationship stages. Section II concludes with a chapter by Kouneski and Olson (chapter 8) that overviews Enriching Relationship Issues, Communication and Happiness (ENRICH), a measurement tool that affords clinicians detailed information about the dynamics of intimacy across an array of domains. Further, these authors emphasize the value of typologies in assessing complex constructs such as intimacy.

Section III addresses the question, What are the general processes of closeness and intimacy? Actually, all of the chapters in the volume, to some extent, take on this question. Thus, it was with some reluctance that we placed only four chapters in this section. Nevertheless, we feel that these four chapters overview nicely some of the general processes believed to drive closeness and intimacy. First, Rusbult, Kumashiro, Coolsen, and Kirchner (chapter 9) summarize major aspects of Thibaut and Kelley’s (1959) interdependence theory as it has been applied to close relationships, focusing on the implications of treating closeness as existing when the well-being of at least one partner is dependent on the other. In the process, this chapter emphasizes the importance of understanding closeness at a fundamentally interpersonal level of analysis. Collins and Feeney (chapter 10) work from an attachment-theory perspective to highlight how intimacy is expressed and received in the context of adult close relationships, again illuminating how insights about a particular phenomenon can be gleaned from a grand and widely influential perspective. The next chapter, by Vohs and Baumeister (chapter 11), elaborates a model of the link between passion and intimacy, arguing that passion is a function of the rate of increase in intimacy. Most important, this is the sole chapter in this volume that focuses specifically on a key aspect of intimacy—physical intimacy. Finally, Reis, Clark, and Holmes (chapter 12) offer a comprehensive integration of diverse views of intimacy pointing to an overarching core theme of perceived partner responsiveness.

Section IV focuses on the question, What individual differences play a role in closeness and intimacy? Personal experience tells us that people differ both in their comfort with intimacy and in the nature of the closeness experience. The contributors to this section argue convincingly that some of these differences are a function of what the individual brings to the relationship. Cross and Gore (chapter 13) start this section with a discussion of how relationship-interdependent self-construals might facilitate the development and maintenance of intimacy. Catherine Sanderson (chapter 14) explores variations of the extent to which people pursue intimacy goals in their relationships by considering why people with intense intimacy goals seem to report enhanced levels of relationship satisfaction. Finally, E. Aron (chapter 15) blends empirical findings from social, personality, and developmental psychology with clinical insight and comparative biology to argue that innate temperament, in interaction with early environmental influences, plays an important role in shaping closeness and intimacy throughout the lifespan.

Section V addresses the question, What situational factors play a role in closeness and intimacy? These...