Section Four:
Family/Group Discussion Starters
Chapter Summaries
Chapter 36. | Backtracking |
| This exercise offers a means for family/group members to understand each individualās part in a conflict situation. |
Chapter 37. | Teaching Pictures |
| The picture cards are designed to be communication starters for family/group members. |
Chapter 38. | Rules |
| The family/group is given a list of typical rules. The list is used as a discussion starter. |
Chapter 39. | Mixer |
| This is a building block exercise that uses Legos toys. Blended family members share their feelings with one another in a game format, building upon the Legos base and building stronger relationships. |
Chapter 40. | Working Toward a Goal: The Processes |
| This exercise is designed to help the group or family to sharpen their skills at goal-setting and accomplishing whatever tasks are necessary to accomplish the goal. The emphasis is on communication, shared responsibilities, and building trust. |
Chapter 41. | Blending Together |
| āThe blended familyā is given a list of prevalent issues that the family will face. The family uses the questions as a discussion starter. |
Chapter 42. | Relationship Myth Deflator Exercise |
| The family/group is given a list of prevalent relationship myths. The group uses the list as a discussion starter and as a basis for beginning the process for improving relationships. |
Chapter 43. | Family/Group Self-Revelation Cards |
| This fun exercise uses discussion starter cards that stimulate the family/group to engage each member in self-revelation. The cards ask questions that open channels of communication, assisting family/group members in working together in other areas. |
Chapter 44. | Sorting Out Priorities |
| An exercise in which participants go through the process of determining choices, decision making, and sorting out priorities for self versus others. |
Chapter 45. | New Traditions |
| Reconstituted families often need help in establishing new traditions and rituals. This exercise helps them become closer. |
Chapter 46. | Wants! |
| This activity helps the family/group focus on personal and group goals. Members share their personal wants, what they want for the other members, and what they want for the group. After each person shares wants in the three areas, the group discusses the meanings of each personās wants. |
Chapter 47. | Promoting Intimacy |
| This is an activity to get parents involved in the sex education of their children. The activity consists of a set of questions that children of various ages tend to ask parents when the lines of communication are open. Dice are rolled to determine the question and to determine who answers the question. |
Chapter 48. | A Moment for Planning |
| An exercise to help families with the transition that comes with aging and changes in the family structure. Specifically, the exercise is geared toward helping the family at the time a senior member may have to move into a senior living center. |
Chapter 49. | Story Writing |
| This exercise helps the family or group to share feelings in a metaphorical and symbolic way. The result is that the family/group becomes closer. |
Chapter 50. | Alternatives Search |
| This brainstorming exercise helps all to become more flexible in their thinking and more adaptable in their lives. It provides a great opportunity to improve the groupās or individualās mental health. |
Chapter 51. | What I Meant Was⦠|
| This exercise is designed to assist participants in clarifying their intentions through understanding of the behaviors (actions) they use to express them. |
Chapter 52. | The Hunt |
| This outdoor exercise is fun and builds a sense of teamwork between couples in the group or pairs in the family. Better relationships and a greater sense of spirituality are promoted by doing this exercise. |
ā36ā
Backtracking
Ron McManus
Brief Description: This exercise offers a means to understand each individualās part in a conflict situation.
Objectives:
- To assist members in recognizing their parts in and contributions to conflicts.
- To be a discussion starter for the participants.
Materials Needed: A copy of the Backtracking Chart for each participant. If the exercise is being used with a family, the chart will need to be enlarged to approximately posterboard size.
Group Composition: Any group with two to 12 members is appropriate.
Time Required: Allow about ten to 20 minutes for recording information, followed by approximately 15 to 30 minutes for discussion.
Rationale: When people understand how their words, actions, and thoughts contribute to difficulties and conflicts, they can begin to work on changing themselves and their situations.
Procedures:
1. The trainer explains that conflict is systematic in that each person plays a part in maintaining it. The trainer then gives an overview of the exercise by explaining that the exercise involves recording your observations of another person, and their recorded observations of you are made known.
2. Ask for volunteers to role-play a family situation, for which about five minutes will be allowed. An example of a situation for five role-players is:
A mother, father, 17-year-old son, 14-year-old daughter, and eight-year-old daughter are in the living room at home. An argument begins because the 14-year-old daughter is not allowed to go out on āformal dates.ā The argument is predominately between the father and this daughter.
(A situation should be developed which is relevant for the size and type of group being worked with.)
3. Give a Backtracking Chart to each participant. Ask the role-players to record, in the Words section in the appropriate tracks (columns), the last word they remember speaking before the actual conflict began. Then the role-players record to the best of their recollections their words immediately prior to the ones already written down. This process continues until all role-players have recorded as many of their words that led to the conflict as they can recall. Then explain that the role-players are to continue the process, completing the Actions and Thoughts sections in the same way.
4. Ask the role-players to read over their tracks, then ask them to reflect on how they contributed to the conflict by their words, actions, and thoughts. Encourage them to talk and reflect on what they learned about themselves and relationships from the exercise.
5. Conclude with a few closing comments to the group:
⢠This exercise involves reexamining our roles and contributions in relationships.
⢠By learning how we contribute to conflicts we can work to correct such disturbances.
⢠This exercise gives the participants a tool to aid them in taking control of their own behavior.
Variations: A single Backtracking Chart can be used by the entire family/group, or individual Charts can be provided to each group member. Suggestions for conflict situations that families/groups can role-play are subjects such as: money; childās appearance; helping around the house; discipline; alcohol and drugs; etc.
Trainerās Notes: This exercise is an appropriate assignment for familiar groups such as the family or the business office setting. This exercise can be used with a group that works t...