Understanding and Managing Children's Behaviour through Group Work Ages 5-7

A child-centred programme

Cath Hunter

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2014
• Print ISBN: 9781138792500
• eBook ISBN: 9781317580782
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education General

Understanding and Managing Children's Behaviour 5-7 provides the reader with an insight into children's emotional well-being and helps them to understand what and how children communicate and how to respond in a way that provides positive messages, increases their emotional vocabulary and encourages them to change their behaviour. It provides an alternative and effective child-centred way of managing children's behaviour through introducing the concept of reflective language and other tools, equipping staff with new skills that are transferable across the school in any role.

The book is divided into two sections, enabling the reader to link theory with practice. The first section takes the reader on a journey to help them understand the different factors that influence children's behaviour. The second section of the book focuses on the group work programmes, how they can be used, their value and the impact they can have on children and the school as a whole. The activities in the group work programmes explore the concept of using reflective language as a behaviour management tool and are designed to motivate and build confidence, self-esteem and resilience. Useful pedagogical features throughout the book include:

• practitioner and classroom management tips and reflective tasks;
• strategies and practical ideas for staff to use to help them engage more deeply with the contents of the book;
• flexible, tried and tested group work programmes designed to promote inclusion rather than exclusion;
• clear step-by-step instructions for delivering the group work programmes;
• case studies showing behaviour examples with detailed explanations for the behaviour and strategies to respond to it.

This book is aimed at all KS1 primary school staff, especially teaching assistants, learning mentors and family workers who can deliver the group work programmes. It is also recommended reading for SENCOs and trainee teachers, and will be useful for therapists who work with children and are looking at delivering other approaches in their work.

Part One: Theory

A child-centred approach to emotional health and well-being and understanding children’s behaviour

1 What does a child need to be emotionally healthy?

In order for children to achieve success at school they need a degree of healthy emotional and social development so that they are emotionally ready and able to learn. This involves being able to cope with success and failure and having the resilience to manage this, along with being able to ask for help when they need it. Children aged 5–7 years are often showing signs of becoming more independent and being able to manage separating from their carer, but their ability to do this well is dependent on their early experiences of this. They need to have positive experiences of this separation to be able to manage the school day and all it entails. (I will discuss this further in Chapter Five.) Managing the school day includes having a sense of confidence and self-esteem, having self-reliance appropriate to their age, having a positive self-image and a strong sense of self, along with beginning to be able to understand their own feelings and express them. They need the stability and security to be able to manage change and unpredictability without it eroding their feelings of safety. They also need to have the social skills to develop, build and sustain relationships with both adults and children. How many children are equipped with all the skills to be able to do this?

The experience of being emotionally healthy is achieved by a combination of all these skills together and not in isolation, in the same way as a child’s ability to hold a pencil is dependent on their hand–eye co-ordination and manipulative skills. It is the cumulative effect of the child’s experiences, learnt behaviours and reactions to events that help define their sense of self and their ability to deal with situations both in and out of school. Children need information and explanations about what is happening in order for them to be able to make sense of their experiences.

Self-regulation

In order for children to be able to regulate their own stress levels, they need to have had this experience from an adult. Babies are unable to regulate their own stress and they depend on their caregivers to regulate it for them. For example, when a baby cries because they are hungry, tired or upset and the adult responds with love and concern, this helps to reduce the baby’s stress. If a crying baby is ignored or met with anxiety or hostility, it can increase their stress. The way the adult responds to this stress can either help the child to develop their own stress regulatory system, or create even more stress and prevent this development taking place. If the child gets what they need from an adult then a pattern develops that allows the child to begin to manage stress for themselves.

In order for children to develop healthily, adults need to respond to children’s stress in a way that calms and soothes them rather than exacerbates their stress. For example, Tom, aged 3, is happily playing with a train when another child snatches it from him. Tom screams with rage and hits the child. If he is soothed, comforted, listened to and supported then this validates his feelings and enables stress regulatory systems to be developed. If he is offered a calm and clear explanation about not hitting other children then he is gradually able to understand that this behaviour is not acceptable. Tom is totally dependent on the stress regulating systems of a caring adult to help him to develop his own. If a caring adult is able to help him with his feelings and acknowledge and soothe his distress, he gradually develops the ability to do this for himself. As stressful situations occur in his life, he has the ability to manage them due to his initial experiences of stress being held and helped by a caring adult. When a child’s parent or carer is able to regulate their own feelings and demonstrate positive and healthy ways of managing their own stress and anxiety, this is beneficial to the child who has this as a template of how to deal with feelings.

However, if the adult responds to the situation by shouting at him, dragging him away or smacking him for hitting the other child, Tom will feel even more stressed and anxious and will be unable to develop self-regulation. He does not learn how to manage stress and anxiety for himself; instead he learns to be wary and fearful of other people and finds it extremely difficult to share. He is overwhelmed by his feelings and unable to self-regulate. He may learn that feelings are to be feared and avoided at all times, rather than managed and expressed in a healthy way.

Case study

Joel, aged 6, had regular tantrums at school where he would scream, shout and lie on the floor crying. He found it very hard if he didn’t get his own way and would lash out at other children if they did not do as he wanted.

Possible reasons for Joel’s behaviour:

● His parents had a volatile relationship with frequent arguments and physical fights.

● His older brother regularly took his toys and teased him for getting upset and crying.

When children have not had the experience of self-regulation being provided by a parent, school staff can contribute to helping them with this and fulfilling this role.

Strategies to help children to self-regulate

● Respond to the intensity of what the child is feeling and reinforce this with the appropriate tone of voice and facial expression; for example, ‘It made you furious that you couldn’t be at the front of the line today.’

● Validate the child’s experience: it is very real for them so ensure they feel you are taking it seriously; for example, ‘When Sam called you stupid it must have really hurt.’

● Support the child by helping them to find alternative ways to express their feelings if appropriate; for example, ‘It’s never ok to hit people Michael, we need to find other ways that you can have your feelings and not hurt anyone when you have them.’

● Offer a calm and reassuring approach so the child feels you are affirming them and accepting rather than dismissing their feelings; for example, ‘It can be really difficult when you want to have the red pen and someone else is already using it.’

● Use regular opportunities during the school day to comment on children’s non-verbal signs of emotion; for example, ‘I can see you look a bit cross about having to wait your turn.’

The above responses enable the child to feel connected to, understood and recognised for who they are and what they are feeling. It gives the message: ‘all feelings are ok and I can help you with them.’ It helps them to make the link between feelings and words, which is crucial for children as they can experience their emotions intensely and need help, support and the emotional vocabulary to make sense of what is happening. It affirms the pain the child is feeling and helps them to understand it. This helps them to feel less overwhelmed and alone with the feelings and therefore less scared. This will support the child with developing self-regulation. When an adult intervenes and offers support, it can reduce the anxiety levels for children along with validating rather than invalidating their experiences and feelings.

Children need constant reminders of the behaviour that adults would like to see and explanations of what is expected of them and why. Children require boundaries that can be understood, and therefore it is useful to check their understanding of the rules and expectations that are in place at school and ensure these are clear and realistic to enable all children to experience success. For example, demonstrating how to tidy up rather than assuming all children have the experience of doing this at home. The use of visual reminders can also be a useful way of keeping a connection with a child and enabling them to practise regulating their behaviour.

Staff strategy – visual reminder

Take photos of the child doing the behaviour you would like to see; for example, sitting on the carpet. Show the child the picture of this at the relevant time and frequently throughout the day to help them understand what they need to do.

The role of the facilitator in the group work programmes enables the children in the group to practise self-regulation and provides an opportunity for the facilitator to transfer these new skills to their role across the school. This alternative way of responding to children’s feelings and behaviour can be modelled across the school and empowers all staff to use a different approach.

Staff strategy – releasing feelings

If a child needs help to manage their feelings of anger and frustration, offer them a large scribble pad and pens or crayons for them to use when they need to. Ensure they are able to access this easily and offer support and demonstrations if needed.

This activity provides a powerful message that all feelings are acceptable and an alternative and constructive way of helping a child to release them. It can be a useful tool to assist them in the process of self-regulation.

Developing independence

School life and all it entails requires children to have some level of autonomy and to become increasingly independent as they progress through school. An essential developmental task for children aged 5–7 years is the development of independence. The process of separation and independence is a gradual one that school can help with by finding the right balance between nurturing, protecting and guiding children and allowing them to explore and experiment. This enables them to develop some self-sufficiency and security in themselves. The transition to a new class at the start of the school year, coupled with leaving their parent or carer, can be a challenge for even the most secure child. The change from reception class to Key Stage 1 with the...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Table of Contents
• List of figures and tables
• Foreword
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• Part One: Theory A child-centred approach to emotional health and well-being and understanding children’s behaviour
• Part Two: Practice Using group work to promote emotional health and well-being and manage children’s behaviour
• Conclusion
• Resources
• Index