Contemplative Prayer for Christians with Chronic Worry

An Eight-Week Program

Joshua J. Knabb, Thomas V. Frederick

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2017
• eBook ISBN: 9781315524634
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Abnormal Psychology
• Index: Psychology

Contemplative Prayer for Christians with Chronic Worry presents an eight-week approach for working with recurrent worry. Each chapter offers an introduction for the week, goals, techniques, and homework. Six free audio recordings are also available to download for use when practicing the guided meditations. Clinicians and their clients will find that the workbook helps them explore ways to lessen daily worries through contemplative prayer. Relying on scriptural support, the contemplative Christian tradition, and psychological science, clients will learn how to sit in silence with God, trusting in him during moments of uncertainty, worry, and anxiety.

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WEEK 1

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN UNCERTAINTY AND WORRY

INTRODUCTION

In this chapter, you will learn about the role that uncertainty plays in the development and maintenance of your worry and anxiety, specifically focusing on the concept of IU. In addition, you will explore an integrative model—rooted in empirical research and the Christian faith (Knabb et al., 2016)—to help you address your recurrent worry, surrendering to God to let go of all the ways you have tried to manage your uncertainty over the years. Finally, we will introduce you to a specific type of prayer, which you will begin next week, to help you let go of your own control strategies, yielding to God’s active, loving presence in the process.

Given that your responses to uncertainty and worry have probably not worked in the past, we are hopeful that you will be open to an alternative way to relate to these inner experiences, focusing on both your psychological and spiritual functioning. Before transitioning to daily contemplative practice, though, we want to provide an alternative way for you to understand: (a) your struggle with uncertainty; (b) your problematic responses to uncertainty; (c) your prior life experiences with uncertainty; and (d) the ways in which you may employ worry to increase a sense of certainty in life. To conclude this week, you will have the opportunity to write your own prayer to God, consistent with the Serenity Prayer.

INTOLERANCE OF UNCERTAINTY

According to Dugas and Robichaud (2007), experts on GAD, struggling to accept the uncertainty of life is a core feature of chronic worry. In other words, the only certainty in life is that life is uncertain. As Mathew 6:27 reminds us, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” To be sure, there are several common beliefs about uncertainty that may exacerbate your worry and anxiety (adapted from Dugas & Robichaud, 2007):

• Uncertainty and ambiguity are distressing, and will get in the way of daily living.

• Uncertainty and ambiguity need to be avoided, no matter what the cost.

• Uncertainty and ambiguity are unfair, and should not be tolerated.

In terms of the first feature, you may believe that uncertainty is quite difficult to tolerate, given that even a small amount of ambiguity in life is anxiety producing for you. In fact, you may try to avoid uncertainty because of the emotional pain that you experience in uncertain situations. Over time, you might have developed the belief that, on its own, uncertainty inevitably leads to psychological turmoil.

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Because of the link between uncertainty and anxiety, you might begin to avoid situations that have even the slightest degree of ambiguity, employing a wide variety of behavioral strategies to create a seemingly certain future. Yet, at a certain point, you may find that your avoidance of uncertainty is causing more problems than the actual uncertainties of life, which are inevitable and continue to arise on a daily basis. Certainly, the more you try to avoid uncertainty, the more you are faced with an increasingly uncertain future.

Finally, you might begin to believe that uncertain situations are unfair, and should not be accepted or tolerated in any way. Therefore, you may find yourself experiencing emotional distress, given your belief that normal, healthy functioning involves navigating through a certain, fixed, and predictable world. Unfortunately, when the ambiguities of life manifest, you might become easily frustrated, holding onto the notion that they simply should not exist.

With each of these beliefs, there is an underlying view that uncertainty is problematic. On the other hand, certainty, from this perspective, seems to be achievable on at least some level. As a result, your life may quickly unravel based on the reality that daily living is filled with surprises, unpredictable outcomes, and mysteries that you just cannot wrap your mind around.

EXERCISE: IDENTIFYING YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT UNCERTAINTY

In the space that follows, see if you can identify several negative beliefs you have about uncertainty. Some questions to consider:

• When you are faced with an uncertain future, what do you tell yourself?

• What are your expectations about uncertainty?

• What emotions do you feel when you are uncertain? What do you believe about this emotional experience?

• What do you do when you are uncertain? How do you make sense of this behavior?

• Do you believe you must eliminate uncertainty, no matter what the cost?

• Do you believe that uncertainty is unfair? If so, why do you believe this?

• Do you become frustrated when you are uncertain about the future? If so, why?

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In addition to negative beliefs about uncertainty, we believe it is important to begin to identify your responses to the ambiguities of life. It is important to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and actions regarding uncertainty. As revealed by Dugas and Robichaud (2007), you may use either “approach” or “avoidance” strategies in an effort to manage uncertainty. See if you can identify some of the following strategies in your own life, which may serve the purpose of creating a seemingly certain future (adapted from Dugas & Robichaud, 2007):

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• Struggling to let other people help you, given you want to make sure everything is perfect through managing tasks on your own.

• Trying to micromanage other people, given you believe that they will get hurt or make mistakes if you do not actively care for them.

• Compulsively checking tasks you have completed, fearing that you have made a mistake.

• Scanning your environment for information to make sure you have all of the “facts,” whether through surfing the Internet or asking others for advice.

• Doubting your ability to problem solve, questioning whether you made the best decision after you have implemented a course of action.

• Constantly asking for support and comfort from others, often by questioning them about whether or not you made the right decision, especially when you are uncertain about the ambiguities of life.

Of course, it is helpful to ask others for feedback in a variety of situations. Here, however, we are talking about a constant “checking-in” with others in an attempt to relieve unwanted anxious feelings, not the actual “feedback” that can be helpful in collaborative situations. If you have identified with any of the above behaviors, you likely employ “approach” strategies when you are uncertain. You may try to “fill in the blanks” by pursuing certainty in an effort to attain some sort of fixed, predictable future.

On the other hand, you might find that you utilize “avoidance” strategies when you are overwhelmed with uncertainty, such as the following behaviors (adapted from Dugas & Robichaud, 2007):

• Delaying a variety of important tasks, based on the notion that you are uncertain about the outcome.

• Attempting to come up with “valid excuses” for not committing to certain behaviors, given that you are unsure about how things will turn out.

• Struggling with procrastination, “kicking the can down the road.” Fearing you will make the wrong decision since you do not have all of the “facts.”

With the above list, you may struggle to commit to a set of concrete behaviors, worrying that you do not have enough information to make a decision in life.

These behaviors, whether through “approaching” or “avoiding,” can create added suffering for your life, since they tend to take up quite a bit of time. If you are compulsively checking by constantly reaching out to others to be soothed or comforted or searching the Internet for just the right answer, you may find you are exhausted, beyond the uncertainty and anxiety you feel in a given situation. Conversely, if you are avoiding life (based on the idea that you do not have enough information to make a decision), you might be falling behind with important tasks and suffering in your personal relationships or work life.

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EXERCISE: IDENTIFYING YOUR RESPONSE TO UNCERTAINTY

In the below space, try to identify your own strategies in responding to uncertainty. Do you tend to use “approach” strategies? Or do you often avoid life when you feel you do not have enough information to make a decision? In either case, see if you can list at least five negative behaviors you engage in when you are uncertain about your future.

EXERCISE: REFLECTING ON UNCERTAINTY

Given that a possible struggle with uncertainty is a central part of your current experience, see if you can reflect on uncertainty in your life, choosing one major life experience that involved significant uncertainty and ambiguity. If you can, try to select an experience that was especially distressing, serving as a pivotal moment in your life. In other words, try to identify a foundational experience that served to solidify your belief that uncertainty is dangerous, unfair, or distressing. Some questions to consider:

• How old were you when this event occurred?

• Who was involved?

• Where were you at, in terms of the location or setting?

• What transpired, leading to significant uncertainty?

• How did you feel during this event?

• What did you do in response to your uncertainty?

• What did you conclude about uncertainty?

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THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN INTOLERANCE OF UNCERTAINTY, WORRY, AND ANXIETY

In the l...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Contemplative Prayer for Christians with Chronic Worry
• Title
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Foreword
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction
• Week 1—The Relationship between Uncertainty and Worry
• Week 2—An Introduction to Contemplative Practice
• Week 3—Ignatian Prayer
• Week 4—The Jesus Prayer
• Week 5—An Introduction to Centering Prayer
• Week 6—A Continuation of Centering Prayer
• Week 7—An Introduction to the Welcoming Prayer
• Week 8—Surrendering to Divine Providence in Daily Living
• Index