I am beginning to appreciate more and more the difference it makes to run trauma groups with a partner. So many of my experiences have been doing this work alone which can feel so isolating. I keep asking myself if it is in the best interest of the clients to run these groups alone.
Actually, Iāve been working with partners almost my entire professional career and Iāve often felt deeply connected in those partnerships. But what has been absent is a codification why some things in the co-leader relationship worked, and others didnāt. And how important focusing on the relationship itself would be.
What is so obvious to us now was startling and exciting to us at that time. That the co-leader relationship was an entity unto itself and needed the same kind of attention as any meaningful relationship needs to grow and evolve. We were aware that having two leaders did not automatically add to the āgrowth promoting environmentā (Rogers, 1980, p. 115), that they were not necessarily working the room together in sync, attuned, and mutually supportive. At times, partnerships fell flat, were rife with competition, and not necessarily cohesive.
As we teased out many thoughts over the next months and years, we more deeply explored various theories, approaches, and especially important to us, our personal attitudes about working with clients. How we are, is inseparable from who we are, and trauma clients are exquisitely sensitive to the signals we give and our attitudes towards every person in the room including each other. These principles became foundationally important as integral to our core value of relational congruence.
What we ultimately came to understand was that how we feel about clients consciously or unconsciously needs to be at all times rooted in principles of genuineness, compassionate acceptance, empathic resonance, and dignity. When we are genuine, we openly bring our authentic selves to each moment of engagement. Compassionate acceptance is the unconditional welcoming of the complexities each person brings as they enter our group experience. Empathic resonance is our capacity to bridge and step into the emotional world of the other. We consider dignity a birthright that counterbalances the erosion, desecration, desperation, and shame experienced by so many of our trauma clients.
And so, what was born from the fruits of our experiences working together, our observations about what was and was not effective, our deep conversations well into the night and our personal sharing, were our fundamental beliefs about co-facilitation. We found that a humanistic essence satisfied aligning our values most effectively. To this day, we attempt to remain rooted in these values as a natural way of our being regardless of context, techniques, population. We recognize the effort and consciousness required, as therapists, to challenge our more habitual and instinctive responses that most of us experience in everyday life. When we inevitably veer from responding in ways that are true to these values, we remind ourselves to commit to reflection and self-understanding in the service to overcome whatever personal obstacles may have derailed us.
We strive to provide a safe and compassionate atmosphere for confronting what might otherwise cause us to defend, deny, or retreat. Lest our verbiage becomes empty and academic, as co-leaders we commit to walking this walk. If we speak of the importance of dignity and diminish the other, or wave the flag of acceptance and judge, we are not living the experience we promote. Engaging personally in this process becomes for us, as attuned co-leaders, our struggle and our ultimate reward.