PART ONE
Chapter 2
Assigning meaning
What meaning does a person assign to his or her life? Goals provide the framework that everyone needs in order to experience their life as meaningful, but a personās fundamental goals in life may change over the course of his or her lifetime, and may be described by that person in dynamic terms as change (or success) or in static terms as happiness (or health, or peace). Although people pursue a wide variety of different goals, everyone ā except those who would rather not be here at all ā can say what makes their life worthwhile.
My Aim in Life
The story āMy Aim in Lifeā calls into question the absoluteness of existing life goals, and encourages the listener to formulate his or her own values.
Renewed Life
The story āRenewed Lifeā makes it clear that life plans and goals play a vital role in an individualās happiness, health and life expectancy.
Gockleās Good Luck
The story āGockleās Good Luckā reminds us that we cannot always recognise and accept happiness and that some people have reasons of their own for not improving their situation. It also reminds us that we need goals for which we fight and that unexpected success may overtax our capacities. In conversation with parents, for example, the story can be used to make it clear that children and teenagers should not be allowed to become accustomed to taking an affluent lifestyle for granted, and that they need to experience achieving success and possessions through their own efforts. The story can also be used to alert listeners to the fact that they are taking skills for granted and overlooking opportunities for action, even though ā or perhaps because ā they are present in abundance.
Sacrilege
The story āSacrilegeā illustrates that standing up for your values represents a value in itself. In cases where these values are opposed to the interests of others, it is often necessary to find a balance between defending your ideals in public and taking a less conspicuous approach. The story can also be used to encourage clients not to hide their light under a bushel and to present a self-confident image during interactions with others.
Perception and interpretation
The communications theorist Paul Watzlawick asked, āHow real is real?ā (also the title of his book, Watzlawick, 1976) and pointed out that reality is constructed differently by all of us. Anyone who talks about reality must therefore also clarify whose reality is meant and (strictly speaking) at what point in time. Reality is always being reconstructed, even within an individualās lifetime. The following paradigmatic stories are intended to challenge our fundamental way of interpreting the world and to lay the groundwork for new interpretations.The Creation of the World
āThe Creation of the Worldā makes it clear that all thought systems ā and therefore all human ways of interpreting the world ā have been devised by humans. We often get the world we think up and believe in; at a personal level, this means that we become what we believe in and what we think, hope and fear.
This rule has far-reaching implications in terms of both our health and our psychological, material, financial and social conditions. We can of course share our individual worlds with others by communicating them verbally and non-verbally, and to a certain extent turn our environment into what we believe it to be. All reality is created on the basis of a communicated and therefore shared world.
The Cave Dwellers
The story āThe Cave Dwellersā demonstrates that what we perceive is determined more by our biology and biography than by objective facts, and that the feedback effects from both our sensory perceptions and our interpretations largely drown out what is allegedly real about the world.
Glasses
āGlassesā is the transcript of a dream. The aim of the story is to make it clear that we often waste time and energy on maintaining counterproductive ways of seeing and experiencing life. Solutions that involve changing the underlying foundations of our way of thinking may be too close for us to see them.
Dot to Dot
The story āDot to Dotā makes it clear that we construct our own reality, and that different constructions of reality are both possible and admissible. It can be used to encourage clients to be more tolerant, to question their former points of view and to examine new points of view. It also makes it clear that the way in which children see the world and the delusional beliefs of dementia patients (for example) stem from missing information and the use of imagination and emotion to fill the associated gaps.