Project Management: It's All Bollocks!

The Complete Exposure of the World of, and the Value of, Project Management

Susie Palmer-Trew, Peter Taylor

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2019
• eBook ISBN: 9780429638695
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Business General
• Index: Business

Welcome to Project Management: It's All Bollocks! where two people who vaguely know each other and barely like each other will pick over the sadly inadequate body of knowledge that is project management today, and generally challenge just about everything, eliminating that which you don't need to bother to learn about, or should already know, leaving you only with the parts that will give you the results you want. This book is a shakedown of project management, the profession, the myths it creates and promotes, its great ideas and ambitions and a few ropey bits that we're just not convinced about.

The project management profession continues to grow and mature, but is at risk of excluding those who don't fit the mould. There is a mystique out there that only certificated project managers can be project managers. This is nonsense. The project management skill set is accessible to anyone, and how you choose to access it and put it to use should remain the decision of the individual. There shouldn't be a right or wrong choice. This book is targeted at those 'projects as usual project managers' who will drive most of the change inside organisations tomorrow and beyond, and who really need help to do that.

The authors offer up a selection of seven cracking ideas, that when applied to a project environment will ultimately result in you being a good manager of projects in this modern world of business complexity.

CHAPTER ONE

The bloody annoying world of project management

Here the authors will discuss and challenge some of the assumptions, presumptions and generally weird stuff that they see and hear around project management. And trust us, there is a whole lot of said assumptions and presumptions going around and around the project world, and the amount of weird stuff can easily leave you gob-smacked at times.

The Premise

First, let’s get a very important definition out of the way:

Definition: ‘Bollocks’ nonsense; rubbish (used to express contempt or disagreement, or as an exclamation of annoyance).¹

Is that clear? Good. If not, then you can read a longer definition in the footnote below.

1 ‘Bollocks’ is a word of Middle English origin, meaning ‘testicles’. The word is often used figuratively in colloquial British English as a noun to mean ‘nonsense’, an expletive following a minor accident or misfortune, or an adjective to mean ‘poor quality’, ‘useless’ or ‘unnecessary’.Americans will freely use the word ‘bullshit’ in the place of ‘bollocks’, but the authors much prefer the Anglo-Saxon as a less offensive or aggressive word, and it only works as a negative.Whilst common phrases such as ‘Bollocks to this!’ and ‘That’s a load of old bollocks’ generally indicate contempt for a certain task, subject or opinion (negative), conversely, the word also figures in idiomatic phrases such as ‘the dog’s bollocks’ or more simply ‘the bollocks’ (as opposed to just ‘bollocks’), which will refer to something which is admired, approved of or well-respected (positive).Yes, it is confusing, but that’s life, and ‘bollocks’ is a damn useful word, we hope that you will agree.

Definition over then we can proceed to the asking of the all-important question.

Is it ‘Bollocks’ or ‘Not Bollocks’, that is, indeed, a question; a question William Shakespeare never asked for sure, or if he did he never put it in writing as far as we know, but it is a question we are asking in his place.

To be fair, the is it ‘Bollocks’ or ‘Not Bollocks’ is probably not ‘The’ number one question of life, the universe and everything, but nevertheless it is a question that we feel needs asking and one that we, the authors, are not afraid to ask (many times over, in fact).

But we are also here to provide some answers, as best we can, after all, what is the point of a book that poses only questions without any possible responses? In doing this, we believe that we are both balanced and informative, or at least we try to be.

If you break down the whole ‘Is it bollocks?’ biggy question into smaller bite size consumable points of interest, then we find ourselves (well the authors do anyway) considering such weighty matters as ‘What the hell is project management?’ and ‘What is my project identity?’, along with a hint of ‘Do I need to be certified?’ thrown in for good measure. We get asked that a lot!

These questions allow us to drift seamlessly into other critical queries, such as ‘Who owns project management?’ and ‘Do all projects need a project manager?’, before exploring that wonderful old chestnut of ‘Why are there so many twats in project management?’; no doubt, all things that you have asked yourself on a regular basis.

And let’s not leave it there; we have more to cover, and so let’s drive straight into a big finish with ‘Why is nobody ever to blame?’ – a perfect conclusion to this complete ‘bollocky’ assessment, the purpose of which is to de-clutter the conversations that follow in Chapter 2 ‘Seven cracking ideas’ and Chapter 3 ‘The art of getting shit done and staying cool’, which are the real ‘meaty’ chapters (unless you are pescatarian, vegetarian or vegan, in which case please insert the equivalent word from your personal belief world).

Whatever your life choice with regard to food might be, we should all be bollocks intolerant.

OK, let’s go.

What the Hell is Project Management, Anyway?

“Here’s one to mess with your emotions straight away, what actually is project management?” enquired Susie.

“It’s the management of projects”, replied Peter, confident in his response.

*facepalm*

“It’s going to be a long old day”, retorted Susie with barely concealed contempt.

“What?” panicked Peter, “It is, isn’t it?”.

“Well, you are technically accurate whilst skilfully being completely bloody wrong”, answered Susie, “Well done, it must be a gift!”.

“Harsh”, sulked Peter.

“Let’s talk”.

Beginning simply is often the best way.

So, you are reading a book about project management, therefore surely you know what we’re on about?

That might be true, and this may feel all a bit primitive as a result, but with so many definitions, so many expectations and way too many assumptions out there, we thought it sensible (for once) to start with the obvious.

As we said, beginning simply is often the best way.

The world, workplace and expectations are very different now from when most project managers got their feet under the table (insert age statistic here). So, it’s only fair to suggest that what we include in or consider part of a definition around project management must also be different.

The idea that project management is just the management of things to deliver specific goals and meet specific success criteria at the specified time are drifting off into the sunset (and thank the good lord for that, we say). The days of being ‘exact’ are becoming few and far between, as are the days of delivering projects in ‘controlled environments’. Project management is transitioning more to it being the art of ‘getting weird stuff done’, usually to improve a situation or to realise an opportunity.

The need for a project usually arises to solve the problems that shouldn’t be there in the first place (risk and issue management) or to achieve strategic gain (opportunity and advantage). How we respond to these two scenarios will always depend on what’s ‘under the hood’.

There are many methodologies and associated processes on project management, which have all served a purpose and really helped project teams deliver big changes, but these models and definitions have been developed largely to deal with stable, controlled and understood environments, where the expectation is detailed through firm requirements and deliverables.

Now we’re not throwing the baby out with the bath water, and this book isn’t a new model or hot exciting method, but we believe that the current offer is a bit bollocks and will never fully meet the need of project teams as we transition into project delivery within ever-changing, ambiguous, complex and uncertain environments and ideals, especially in a socially connected and collaborative business world.

We feel that the need to redefine or to simply be open to new definitions around project management is crucial for your career and your sanity, if nothing else. The same redefinition or openness is required in order to address the changes to success measurement that exist in this ‘new world’ (a few moments of quiet reflection for the ‘good old days’ of the triple constraint or iron triangle can be understandable at this difficult time for some readers – OK, that’s it, reminiscence over, move on).

We believe that a project must be any combination (but not necessarily all) of the following:

• Unique
• Messy
• Ambiguous
• Complicated (or complex)
• Unpredictable
• Uncertain
• Needed (through choice, or regulation)
• Scalable (not necessarily repeatable)
• Disruptive (in a good way)
• Risky (again, in a good way)
• Make ‘things’ ‘better’
• And, generally, not ‘business as usual’

And the management of said activity should be within agreed tolerances determined by you and your environment, all wonderfully enabled through open dialogue and honesty (both inward and outward).

So, what does project management boil down to?

We reckon it is the temporary provision of structure and transparency in order to solve short-term, complicated problems or to realise opportunities.

Sometimes it is really bloody hard and sometimes it is just bloody fantastic.

But is it bollocks?

Of course … not – we’ve written an entire book on it!

But most importantly as project managers, we need to be able to articulate the change we’re delivering, why we’re doing it and how we’re going to land it; and that, my friends, is where we start to blur the lines between project management (the process of delivery) and change management (the understanding and acceptance of delivery).

The above asks and answers the question ‘What is project management?’. In The Lazy Project Manager, the author talks of a very typical situation in the project management world where you might ask project managers what they are. It goes like this and is something to play at project management parties. You ask two questions of a project manager and they have to respond with the first thing that comes into their head. Most of the time it goes down like this: ‘What are you?’ – ‘I’m a project manager’; ‘What do you do?’ – ‘I manage projects’. Insightful, isn’t it?

Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner (What is My Identity?)

“Who are ya? Who are ya?” Peter bellowed in his best ‘lads at the football match voice’.

“FFS”, Susie said, “you know who I am, what are you on about now?”

“How do people know who you are and what you do, when even you can’t explain it?” Peter questioned.

“Who says I can’t?” Susie cut him off.

“OK, go on then”, Peter responded in a slightly fractious tone.

Awkward silence.

“Fair enough”, Susie continued, “your question, I believe, is really: ‘How do you build and identify as a project manager when there is the perception that we should be “seen and not heard”?’”

“Exactly”, nodded Peter, “although I doubt there’s anyone who doesn’t hear you coming”.

Susie glared.

“I said that out loud didn’t I?” Peter queried nervously.

Susie’s expression answered the question without the need for anything to be said.

“Let’s talk …”.

If you are in project management, you know that that this is a fun job.

OK, yes, there are days that it is incredibly hard, it is usually messy and complicated, and nine times out of ten, as a project manager, you can’t do right for doing wrong. But it’s great to be able to use our skill set to deliver value in an ever-changing world, to those needing it. In fact, it is more than great if we are all honest here, it is pretty ace all round.

However, outside your project world, others will most likely acknowledge that it is a job, a role that is growing in both the opportunity and number of people in it but, probably, no one has ever been to a party and said, ‘I’m a project manager’ and anybody’s got really excited about it; it’s no great conversation starter.

And it doesn’t let up in the work environment with the often-said instant response of ‘oh here come the fun police!’, which is always amazingly motivational (not). Project managers are perceived as the people who stop others from doing things, they control how they do it, and – adding insult to injury – they slow things down. Worse than that, the growing idea that project managers (and everyone else tasked with leading significant change) are there to obfuscate, to ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Table of Contents
• The acknowledgements
• The authors
• The non-foreword
• The introduction
• Chapter 1. The bloody annoying world of project management
• Chapter 2. Seven cracking ideas
• Chapter 3. The art of getting shit done and staying cool
• Chapter 4. The quick guide
• Chapter 5. One last time, from the top
• Index