Domestic Violence and Children

A Handbook for Schools and Early Years Settings

Abigail Sterne, Liz Poole

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2009
• Print ISBN: 9780415465519
• eBook ISBN: 9781135253905
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education General

What can schools and social care workers do to help children affected by domestic violence?

Large numbers of children are affected by domestic violence. The problem crosses every social class and culture. It causes distress and anxiety in children and adversely affects their learning and play, as well as their behaviour, wellbeing and attendance.

Education staff may know of a child or family in crisis, want to help, yet feel outside their comfort zone, grappling with a complex issue not covered in their training. This book describes the impact of domestic violence on children and provides support for education and social care professionals. It takes heavy workloads into account and suggests practical ways of meeting the needs of pupils who come from difficult home backgrounds.

The authors provide guidance and advice on:

• identifying and responding to signs of distress
• helping pupils to talk about and make sense of their experiences
• the impact on parenting and how parents can be supported
• the needs of young people in refuges and temporary accommodation
• pupil safety and government safeguarding guidelines
• educating young people and the community about domestic violence
• specialist domestic violence services and other agencies that support schools.

Domestic Violence and Children draws on the expertise of a wide range of professionals, including specialist domestic violence children's workers and counsellors, psychologists, teachers, mentors and family support workers. It provides essential help and information to all children's service directorates, as well as a range of professionals in education, social care, health and the voluntary sector.

Part 1
The impact of domestic violence on young people and families

Chapter 1
Introduction and background

Children living with domestic violence

Key facts about domestic violence

• One in four women and one in six men will experience domestic violence at some time in their lives. One in nine women are thought to experience domestic violence annually (Council of Europe 2002).

• At least 750,000 children a year in the UK witness domestic violence and nearly three-quarters of children on the ‘at risk’ register live in households where domestic violence occurs (Department of Health 2002:16).

• The majority of incidents occur when the children are in the same or the next room (Hughes 1992:9–11).

• The risk of domestic violence for women is nearly doubled if there are children present in the household (Walby and Allen 2004:87).

• Seventy per cent of children living in UK refuges have been abused by their father (Bowker et al. 1998).

• Thirty per cent of domestic violence starts in pregnancy and between four and nine women in every hundred are abused during their pregnancy and/or after the birth (Department of Health 2005: para 2.4).

• Before a woman reports domestic violence to the police, she will on average have been assaulted 35 times. By the time a woman’s injuries are visible, violence is a long-established pattern (Jaffe et al. 1986:38 in Morley and Mullender 1994:12).

• Violence in teenage relationships is common. More than 40 per cent of young people know girls whose boyfriends have hit them and 40 per cent know girls whose boyfriends have coerced them to have sex (End Violence Against Women 2006:14–15).

• On average, two women a week are killed by a partner or former partner (Department of Health 2005: para 2.1).

What is domestic violence?

A widely accepted definition, used by the UK government, is: ‘any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been in a relationship together, or between family members, regardless of gender or sexuality’ (Home Office 2005a: 7).

The following is an explanation taken from The Hideout, a web site for young people created by the national domestic violence charity Women’s Aid (http://www.thehideout. org.uk). It can be a useful starting point for discussion and teaching.

WHAT IS ABUSE? Domestic abuse is when one grown-up hurts or bullies another grown-up who is or was their partner, or who is in the same family. Domestic abuse can happen between people who are boyfriend and girlfriend or people who are married. It can happen when people live together or in different houses. Usually (but not always) it is the man who hurts the woman. Although domestic abuse happens between grown-ups, children can be affected by the abuse that they see and hear. Children can also be hurt or bullied as part of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse can be: • physical – for example, hitting, pushing, kicking • emotional – sayings things to frighten the other person or make them feel bad • sexual – making someone do sexual things that they don’t want to • financial – such as taking away the other person’s money, or not letting them get a job. Domestic abuse is a repeated pattern of behaviour. Grown-ups use domestic abuse to control other people. If someone in your family is abusive, remember it’s not your fault. If this is happening in your family, remember that you are not alone. Domestic abuse happens in many families and there are people that can help you and your family. Everyone has the right to be and feel safe. Reproduced with kind permission of Women’s Aid Federation of England

What children see, hear and experience

Around 750,000 children a year are exposed to domestic violence and there will be children affected by it in almost every school (Department of Health 2002:16). For many, home is a stressful, unpredictable place; the family is a source of conflict and some children live in an almost constant state of fear about the next violent episode. Children may fear for the safety of their mother and themselves. Violent acts are often committed by someone who should be caring for and protecting them. The impact is profound, the fear never goes away and young people can be traumatised by their experiences.

‘The force of a shouting adult can feel like a terrible tidal wave to a child.’

Sunderland and Hancock 1999:35

‘Children hear their parents, the adults they love and depend on, screaming in anger, pleading in fear and sobbing in pain. They hear fists hitting bodies, objects thrown and shattered, people thrown against walls and knocked to floors. They may see blood, bruises and weapons. Some children witness domestic rapes.’

Wolak and Finkelhor 1998:74

One study of children and mothers exposed to domestic violence, found the following (McGee 2000:66):

• eighty-five per cent of children were present while their mothers were being abused in some way

• in 71 per cent of families, children saw their mothers being physically assaulted

• fifty-eight per cent of children overheard the violence. For example, children were in bed and woke up because of the violence or were sent out of the room

• twenty-seven per cent of children witnessed the outcome of the violence, for example, injury to the mother.

Some parents may think or hope that their children are unaware of the violence or the extent of it; that they may not actually have seen anything. In fact children are usually far more aware than parents like to believe. Children may hear or witness some of the following:

• verbal abuse, screaming, swearing

• their mothers being grabbed, hit, kicked, beaten, choked – resulting in bruises, cuts, broken bones, lost teeth, internal injuries or miscarriages

• objects being thrown, the use of knives or other weapons

• the outcome of the abuse – the distress, injury to the mother, the mother going to hospital, the police arriving

• windows being smashed, doors kicked down

• parts of their homes and furniture destroyed

• their toys and pos...

Table of contents

• Contents
• Foreword
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• Part 1 The impact of domestic violence on young people and families
• Part 2 Meeting children’s needs in schools and early years settings
• Bibliography
• Index