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Part 1
The impact of domestic violence on young people and families
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Chapter 1
Introduction and background
Children living with domestic violence
Key facts about domestic violence
• One in four women and one in six men will experience domestic violence at some time in their lives. One in nine women are thought to experience domestic violence annually (Council of Europe 2002).
• At least 750,000 children a year in the UK witness domestic violence and nearly three-quarters of children on the ‘at risk’ register live in households where domestic violence occurs (Department of Health 2002:16).
• The majority of incidents occur when the children are in the same or the next room (Hughes 1992:9–11).
• The risk of domestic violence for women is nearly doubled if there are children present in the household (Walby and Allen 2004:87).
• Seventy per cent of children living in UK refuges have been abused by their father (Bowker et al. 1998).
• Thirty per cent of domestic violence starts in pregnancy and between four and nine women in every hundred are abused during their pregnancy and/or after the birth (Department of Health 2005: para 2.4).
• Before a woman reports domestic violence to the police, she will on average have been assaulted 35 times. By the time a woman’s injuries are visible, violence is a long-established pattern (Jaffe et al. 1986:38 in Morley and Mullender 1994:12).
• Violence in teenage relationships is common. More than 40 per cent of young people know girls whose boyfriends have hit them and 40 per cent know girls whose boyfriends have coerced them to have sex (End Violence Against Women 2006:14–15).
• On average, two women a week are killed by a partner or former partner (Department of Health 2005: para 2.1).
What is domestic violence?
A widely accepted definition, used by the UK government, is: ‘any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been in a relationship together, or between family members, regardless of gender or sexuality’ (Home Office 2005a: 7).
The following is an explanation taken from The Hideout, a web site for young people created by the national domestic violence charity Women’s Aid (http://www.thehideout. org.uk). It can be a useful starting point for discussion and teaching.
| Domestic abuse is when one grown-up hurts or bullies another grown-up who is or was their partner, or who is in the same family. Domestic abuse can happen between people who are boyfriend and girlfriend or people who are married. It can happen when people live together or in different houses. Usually (but not always) it is the man who hurts the woman. Although domestic abuse happens between grown-ups, children can be affected by the abuse that they see and hear. Children can also be hurt or bullied as part of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse can be: • physical – for example, hitting, pushing, kicking • emotional – sayings things to frighten the other person or make them feel bad • sexual – making someone do sexual things that they don’t want to • financial – such as taking away the other person’s money, or not letting them get a job. Domestic abuse is a repeated pattern of behaviour. Grown-ups use domestic abuse to control other people. If someone in your family is abusive, remember it’s not your fault. If this is happening in your family, remember that you are not alone. Domestic abuse happens in many families and there are people that can help you and your family. Everyone has the right to be and feel safe. Reproduced with kind permission of Women’s Aid Federation of England |
What children see, hear and experience
Around 750,000 children a year are exposed to domestic violence and there will be children affected by it in almost every school (Department of Health 2002:16). For many, home is a stressful, unpredictable place; the family is a source of conflict and some children live in an almost constant state of fear about the next violent episode. Children may fear for the safety of their mother and themselves. Violent acts are often committed by someone who should be caring for and protecting them. The impact is profound, the fear never goes away and young people can be traumatised by their experiences.
One study of children and mothers exposed to domestic violence, found the following (McGee 2000:66):
• eighty-five per cent of children were present while their mothers were being abused in some way
• in 71 per cent of families, children saw their mothers being physically assaulted
• fifty-eight per cent of children overheard the violence. For example, children were in bed and woke up because of the violence or were sent out of the room
• twenty-seven per cent of children witnessed the outcome of the violence, for example, injury to the mother.
Some parents may think or hope that their children are unaware of the violence or the extent of it; that they may not actually have seen anything. In fact children are usually far more aware than parents like to believe. Children may hear or witness some of the following:
• verbal abuse, screaming, swearing
• their mothers being grabbed, hit, kicked, beaten, choked – resulting in bruises, cuts, broken bones, lost teeth, internal injuries or miscarriages
• objects being thrown, the use of knives or other weapons
• the outcome of the abuse – the distress, injury to the mother, the mother going to hospital, the police arriving
• windows being smashed, doors kicked down
• parts of their homes and furniture destroyed
• their toys and pos...
