1
âYOU, I, WE CREATED THE POETâ
November 1963*
Sexton: My poems are my accomplishment.
Orne: No. You are your accomplishment.â
(November 7, 1963)
The fall of 1963 was an important time for Anne Sexton. With a travel grant from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, she set off for Europe in September, accompanied by her friend Sandy Robart. In the first weeks, they toured Paris and Belgium, following in the footsteps of her Aunt Nanaâs European tour decades before, with Nanaâs letters in tow. Even when their car was broken into in Brussels, and their luggage stolen (including Nanaâs letters), Sexton remained upbeat. But once they arrived in Italy in October, she began to unravel. She found it very difficult to be so far away from the two men in her life, Kayo and Orne. Worse yet, she had received a letter from Maxine Kumin in which Kumin told her that Kayo was hoping her trip to Europe would sever her ties with Orne and end therapy:
Anne, the reason he wants you to stay is that he thinks this year abroad will break your dependence on Orne and make it possible for you to quit treatment, or at least treatment with Orne. He has big hostility about him, calls him kook, etc., all of which you know very well but I didnât. When I said not kook Kayo, he said please, thatâs my defense. Donât mess it up.*
Perhaps as a result of reading the letter, Sextonâs journey through Europe soon dissolved as she experienced familiar chaotic feelings.â She flirted with Louis, a German-speaking Yugoslavian man she had met in Rome, and had an affair with him in Capri. She later told Orne that Louis had flirted with several women in Capri, but chose Anne after she asked him if she could write down his story of being a prisoner of war in World War II. Concerned that she had become pregnant, she began making long calls to Orne in Boston in a desperate attempt to stabilize herself. By late October, unable to keep herself together any longer, she returned to Boston with what Orne, drawing from Erik Erikson, told her was a âleaky ego.â
Ashamed of her regression but eager to continue her work with Orne, Sexton resumed therapy in what seemed to be a further deterioration of her mental state. She became increasingly depressed as she neared her 35th birthday, November 9. Kayo had planned a big cocktail party for her birthday, which she did not want to attend. In fact, she could barely function. On November 7, she told Orne how suicidal she was, describing her birthday as âan ax hanging over me,â insistent that she would âlike to bleed all over [her] books.â He told Sexton, âThereâs one rule in psychotherapy; youâve got to have a patientâ (Middlebrook, 1991, p. 209). She was admitted to Westwood Lodge after the appointment. When Orne phoned Kayo to tell him he was sending Anne to Westwood, Kayo demanded to speak to her. Presumably fearing that Kayo would talk her out of it, Orne told him that there was not time. Kayo was enraged.
Two weeks later, having been released from Westwood with Kayoâs help, Sexton learned in a session that Orne was considering a move to another state. His announcement marks the beginning of the final six months of Sextonâs twice weekly therapy with him. I shall cite exchanges from three sessions in the first of these six months, November 1963. In all three sessions, Sexton asserts that her poetry is a sign of her progress in treatment, and Orne reminds her that her poetry is just a part of who she is.
The epigraph at the start of this chapter captures the essence of Sextonâs conversations with Orne about the value of her therapy. In various ways, Sexton wanted Orne to acknowledge the fact that she had made herself into a poet with his help. Could she ground herself in her poetic accomplishments? Did her creative accomplishments point to aspects of her psychiatric progress that might otherwise have been overlooked? Sexton returned to these questions many times, asserting her achievements and seeming to look for affirmation from her psychiatrist. As is captured in his forceful ânoâ in the epigraph, Orne persistently responded in much the same way: The poetry is not as important as the person.
It is tempting to conclude that in deflecting attention from Sextonâs poetry to her innate value as a human being, Orne contradicted his efforts to help her get better. After all, Sexton met Orne when she felt worthless; together, they had crafted her now brilliant career. But his decision to push Sexton toward a broader acceptance of herself as a person first, while still acknowledging her many talents, tells us something about his therapeutic technique. Orne trained as a psychiatrist in an environment dominated by Freudian conflict theory, rather rigid in its assumptions during the period. He would have learned to be an objective observer who helped patients correct defensive distortions of external and internal reality. Mental health came from being able to, as he once told Sexton, âkeep reality straight.â* Orneâs responses to Sextonâs queries about her value as a poet suggest that a patient as ill as Sexton gets better as she learns to distinguish between opposites: her defensive masks and the emotional realities they obscure. In keeping with theories of therapeutic action circulating at the time of the treatment, Orne urged Sexton to avoid the trap of intellectual discussions, which might conceal her ârealâ affect, with its accompanying memories from the past.â
Sextonâs exchanges with Orne about the value of her poetry and her poetry itself assert her very different theory of the relationships between doctors, patients, and the products of therapy for both patients and psychiatrists. Long before the term analytic third became commonplace in psychoanalytic discourse, Sextonâs conversations with Orne and her poems reflect a vision of a psychiatrist and mental patient working together to construct something larger than the two people involvedâa third thing, beyond the already existing âyouâ and âI.â Given her depression, agoraphobia, and suicidal preoccupations, Sextonâs desire to have Orne affirm the value of her poetry seems to have reflected her need to build a sense of identity that could fill the vast emptiness she experienced every day. If she had written published, much celebrated poetry, she could not be as worthless as she imagined; this is what she wanted her doctor to acknowledge. She also had cultural reasons to seek recognition as a public figure. Emerging as a significant American poet just as women writers were beginning to receive attention from places like the Radcliffe Institute, Sexton was exposed to new perspectives on womenâs identities and realities. These perspectives challenged established notions of ârealityâ and âwomanâ that dominated the psychoanalytic world of the early 1960s.
As we listen to these November 1963 tapes, it becomes clear that while Orne invokes binary oppositions that reflect psychoanalytic concepts and discourses popular in his time, Sextonâs theory of therapeutic change has more in common with research about coconstruction and intersubjectivity in psychoanalysis and human development that became popular long after her death. Her vision of therapy as an architectural project, a cocreative construction, contrasts with Orneâs apparent view of therapy as an archeological uncovering, a removal of distortions of reality (Jimenez, 2008, p. 590). Most strikingly, their contrasting views of identityâfor Orne, as already there, if distorted, and for Sexton as emergentâspeak volumes about the power of the creative imagination to challenge existing structures of thought, even structures designed to define the psyche itself.
November 14, 1963: âI Mean, We Can Really Talk!â
When Kayo picked Sexton up from Westwood Lodge, he told her he wanted her to seek an outside consultation immediately. He doubted that she and Orne were making progress in therapy given her abrupt premature return from Europe and her almost immediate descent into a state in which she required hospitalization. In a previous session, Sexton commented to Orne that Kayo was jealous of their relationship, but Orne defended Kayo, saying that there was no reason not to consult another physician to assess their progress from a more objective point of view. This did not please Sexton, who often seemed to split her alliances between her husband and Orne. Despite Kayoâs insistence, Sexton did not sever her relationship with Orne; instead, she continued with Orne and asked Kayo to enter therapy (which he did).
In this November 14 session, Sexton began by defending her work with Orne. When Orne asked why she was reluctant to see another doctor, she protested. In the next five minutes, she and Orne discussed what doctor she might consult, including whether she should return to Dr. Riggs, a doctor she had seen the previous summer when Orne was away. Sexton explained her desire to remain with Orne:
Sexton: I feel like I want to continue treatment with you. Not just because I am transferred to youâŚ. I think that our relationship, even though it is stormy, is really pretty good. I like to talk to you. I feel like I can. As much as I can talk to anyone. I mean really talk. You can use a lot of words.
Orne: Mmhmmm.
Sexton: And I think the tapes are very ⌠I listen to them and itâs a different thing. In the first place I really hear you. Much more than I hear you here. Then again I hear me too, as much as I can bear to. Oh, I keep looking for some kind of magical thing. If there were just some âŚ
Orne: Some? What?
Sexton: Well, Iâd like to say to you do you think I will ever get well, and youâd say what do you mean by well.
Orne: Mmhmmm.
Sexton: But you know what I am talking about. And then when Kayo says, âWell, you know, heâs spent seven years and he hasnât done much for you.â Thatâs pretty stupid. I havenât done much. But then I want to list for him some of the gains. Because when I go back and when I have to list that childhood and my own attitudes when I began therapy then I see that it takes a long time âŚ
[Two-minute exchange about which doctor]
Sexton: Iâd like to say, why, this oneâs impressed with my writing, why arenât you? You know? I did it all for you.
Orne: I am impressed with your writing.
Sexton: What does that mean?
Orne: My interest is you, and I am impressed with your accomplishment.
Sexton: Would you be just as impressed if Iâd never been anthologized and never awarded? No, because you know that youâre not a judge.
Orne: Probably not because I am not a judge.
Sexton: And neither would probably someone else.
Orne: No, thatâs not true. I think in an area where I was competent to judge I would not need anyone elseâs statement. Because some people I am very impressed with âŚ
Sexton: Of course you know my history so well and you know me so well that what I write in a poem you already knew.
Orne: Itâs not the issue. You donât understand it. You see, if you say am I impressed with your work, yes, itâs very impressive. But you keep wanting me to be more interested in your poems than in you.
Sexton: Well, they are my accomplishment.
Orne: No, you are your accomplishment.
Sexton: Well, I havenât done very well, letâs face it.
Orne: But this isnât, you know first of all âŚ
Sexton: But in this area I did accomplish something. And in another. I donât know it may get shaky, because right now theyâre at a pretty good age. But I hope that Iâve grown enough to catch up with Lindaâs maturity when that arrives. But I have done that. Thatâs just a fact. Once I said I donât want the children, I canât be a mother, I donât want them. Now I have the children. And Iâm a pretty good ⌠I am their mother. Not very good, but I am their mother.
Orne: And let me be very clear so there is no question between us. I view this [being a mother] as just as significant an accomplishment.
Sexton: I do too.
Orne: Even though [the children are] not anthologized. But, you know, that one I can judge.
Sexton: Yeah. Oh, I understand. Well, if I hadnât been I couldnât have stood myself any longer.
Orne: And you see when I say Dr. Riggs was impressed with your poetry, what I am saying is that it is fine that a therapist be interested in your work. It is not fine that he be more interested in your work than in youâŚ. I want to keep reality straight for you.
Orne spoke in dichotomous terms in this excerpt, distinguishing between Sextonâs creative self and what she produced. On the one hand, there was Sextonâs personal âyou,â the patient Orne saw in front of him. On the other hand, there were her poetic achievements, which could, with the wrong emphasis, obscure who she was. He provided the example of Dr. Riggs (whom Sexton had seen when Orne was away) as a psychiatrist who became distracted by the fact that Sexton was a famous poet.* Orne knew that Sexton sometimes viewed her poetry as her only accomplishment. Many times in the years of recorded sessions, Sexton proclaimed that she did what she needed toâwritten her poemsâand she was now ready to die. Orne always countered with statements about how the poetry was not her value, instructing her that she needed to learn to distinguish between her worth as a human being and her abilities as a poet. He was especially adamant about this in 1963, the year of Sylvia Plathâs death, for Sexton had, earlier that year, expressed her jealousy that Sylvia â[died] perfectâ (Middlebrook, 1991, p. 216).
We must admire Orneâs efforts to prevent Sexton from killing herself and leaving her poetry for posterity. But we should also acknowledge that Orneâs position on who she was and what would harm her or make her feel better was historically situated. Orne and Sexton worked together at a time when the social context for womenâs realities was largely domestic, and the professional climate in Boston offered its own very particular meanings for womenâs accomplishments. Orne spoke with certainty about the value of Sexton as mother in this excerpt at the same time that he denied his ability to judge her poetic achievements. He was neither parent nor mother, and yet he told Sexton that he felt he had some expertise in the mothering arena but not in that of judging poetry. Indirectly, Orne placed a higher value on Sexton as a mother than on her identity as a prominent American poet. Sexton eagerly agreed with her assessment of the importance of her maternal role, but she seemed less convinced of his explanation of why he could not speak of her poetic achievements. It wa...