Writing Models Year 5

Pie Corbett

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2013
• ISBN:
  9781136742286
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education General

Teachers who want to cut planning time and save energy should welcome this series. It will help teachers to: cover every sort of writing type they need to at Key Stage with a model provided for each one; fine tune lessons by following key teaching points for each model; deliver the literacy hour to pupils of every ability using different versions of the same model.

Fiction models

TERM 1: STORY OPENINGS – ACTION, DESCRIPTION, DIALOGUE

(Easier)

1. The bomb exploded.

2. ‘Jump!’ yelled Shan.

3. Inside the old house, it was dusty and
dark.

4. ‘What was that?’ The two girls stared
up the lane, peering into the alley.

5. Although the afternoon sun was still
warm, Jazzy felt cold. Cold to the
bone. She shuddered.

6. ‘Don't talk to old Warder,’ said
Mr Pender for what seemed like the
hundredth time. ‘You know he's not
to be trusted.’

7. Sian turned and began to run as hard
and as fast as she could.

8. ‘When does the bus get here?’ asked
Simone, turning to Brad. He shook his
head and shrugged his shoulders.

TERM 1: STORY OPENINGS – ACTION, DESCRIPTION, DIALOGUE

(Harder)

1. The Rottweiler growled, stood up and began to move towards the children. They stared into its red eyes and knew that it was only a moment away from leaping…

2. ‘Watch out!’ yelled Kria, grabbing hold of Tim's arm as a spear landed with a thud into the damp earth. They stared up, and standing at the top of the pit was what looked like an ancient Briton…

3. The door to the house was ajar as if inviting them in. Inside, it was so dark that at first they could not make out the piles of broken furniture, the dusty floorboards and the two large sacks of money.

4. ‘Have you ever been into the old abattoir?’ asked Jenny, turning to her friend. ‘No way!’ replied Kirsty, ‘not only would it be really spooky but just think of all the dust!’ She smoothed her school skirt. It was new and her mum had not really been able to afford it.

5. A thick mist crept down the lane, smothering the gardens, cutting out the daylight. Jem stood on the path and began to feel alone. It was as if the mist had crept around him like a living creature…

6. ‘Don't you dare go down to the canal,’ snapped Mrs Jarvis. The two boys grinned behind her back. ‘Of course not,’ replied Connor, trying to sound innocent.

7. Brad clenched his fist as tight as a stone and waited. They would be coming down the path any moment now…

8. ‘What is that?’ asked Jan, staring down into the water. Billy crouched down, adjusted his glasses and squinted.

TERM 1: CHARACTERISATION – ACTION, DESCRIPTION, DIALOGUE

(Easier)

1. As soon as he saw Kyle, Trev's face creased
into a smile. He picked up his leather jacket
and dashed over the road.

2. Bravely, Macshane plunged his hand into
the hot water and picked up the precious
ring. His hand was red and blisters began to
appear.

3. Courtney marched into the classroom, slung
her bag down and began to chat loudly.
Everyone gathered around.

4. Gardiner thought about old Mrs Glew. She
lived all alone on the estate and no one ever
visited her. Now he felt bad about what he
had done.

5. ‘Leave me alone!’ snarled Trev, turning his
back on Courtney.

6. Courtney shoved her homework into her bag.
She stared at Trev. She wondered what
had brought on this sudden change of mood.

7. ‘He's angry about being given detention,’
suggested Jess calmly.

8. Macshane looked carefully at Trev. He was
in an awful state. His hair was like a bird's
nest, his jeans torn and he had lost one shoe.
What had happened?

9. ‘Hi,’ said Gabbler quietly, helping his friend
off the ground. ‘Thanks,’ muttered Trev.

TERM 1: CHARACTERISATION – ACTION, DESCRIPTION, DIALOGUE

(Harder)

1. Ferret spun round and grinned. His two front teeth flashed gold.

2. Kate grabbed the blazing torch and held it up high, even though it was dangerous. Although no one was listening, she let out a sudden yell.

3. Petie Fisher strode down to the chip shop. His new sneakers creaked as he walked, the leather biting into his feet.

4. Carson thought about his mother. It was time to visit her. He didn't visit her enough. She knew so many things and he knew so little. It was time that he found out the truth about his past.

5. ‘Gerroff!’ yelled Carson, spitting the words out like gunfire.

6. Tina stopped tying the parcel up. She glared back at Carson. Not for the first time did she heave an inward sigh. He was so difficult, so moody. She wondered what had caused such deep unease.

7. ‘She's jealous, that's what I think,’ replied Jess cautiously.

8. Petie glanced slyly at Carson from the corner of his eye. No one dared to look at him straight on. Rather look a rattler in the eye. He noticed the locket, swinging at his neck. It seemed out of place and Petie wondered whose photo it contained.

9. ‘Hello,’ said Gabbler, grabbing the dog's lead with one hand and the ice cream with the other. Tim gave a sudden grin of warmth. He picked up his skateboard, tucked it under his arm and wandered over to his friend. ‘Hi'ya,’ mumbled Tim.

TERM 1: NEW SCENE IN A STORY

(Easier)

One afternoon my mother asked me to go and fetch my father in from ploughing the old field under Samson Hill.

I made my way down to the shore. Standing there, I listened to the waves rolling on the beach. The sun beat down and I could feel the sand under my feet. I sat down and tugged off my socks. I tied my laces together, slung my shoes over my shoulder and walked along the shore. The sand felt warm and soft under my bare feet. Only the shells dug into my skin.

Well before Rushy Bay, I stopped. I could hear the distant sound of the old tractor rumbling its way up and down the field. So, I put my shoes back on and made my way towards Samson Hill. I could feel the sun beating down on the back of my neck and the wind tugging at my tee-shirt. Soon Dad would be able to see me.

By the edge of the field was the old chicken run. I knew that I was there because as soon as the birds heard me they ran towards me, squawking and squabbling. Stopping by the coop, I felt the cold metal of the fencing that held them in.

It was then that I heard it. The chickens had suddenly fallen silent. I could hear them running back, scratching as they went, their wings flapping. But they were silent, which was eerie. And then I heard the other sound. Slow, slippery, slithery, something moving through the grass with a gentle hissing sound.

I stood quite still, not daring to breathe. There had never been snakes on Bryher. Everyone said that St Augustine had visited the island and rested here so he had banished all poisonous creatures in repayment for the island's hospitality. But I was sure that it was a snake approaching me. The problem was, I couldn't see where it was. So, I froze like a statue.

Then I felt it slither over my shoe, its thick, dry body running against my ankle. My mouth was quite dry or I might have called to my father. I strained every nerve, listening as hard as I could.

At that moment, I sensed someone else close to me. I heard footsteps and then a thump on the ground as if a stick had been banged down. ‘I banished you once before and I banish you again,’ said the warm, deep voice of a stranger. The grasses hissed as the snake slithered back towards the shore. And I was alone again…

TERM 1: NEW SCENE IN A STORY

(Harder)

One afternoon my mother asked me to go and fetch my father in from ploughing the old field under Samson Hill.

I had been cooped up inside all morning so I was relieved to get outside. There was a light mist rolling in from the sea so I pulled on my anorak. I co...