Messages Men Hear

Constructing Masculinities

Ian M. Harris

• Publisher: Taylor & Francis
• Year: 2004
• ISBN:
  9781135748104
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Sociology
• Index: Social Sciences

Why do men behave the way they do? The "science" of gender studies is less than 25 years old and it is only recently that scholars and popular authors interested in gender have started to examine the issues associated with masculinity.; This text is based on over 10 years research, and constructs a comprehensive theory of masculinity by exploring in great detail how men form their gender identities and how those identities influence their behaviour. The book examines the influence of 24 male messages, or gender norms - such as "be like your father", "faithful husband", "superman", and "nurturer" - that represent cultural expectations for masculinity in western societies. Drawing on a diverse sample of over 500 men from different classes, backgrounds, races and ethnic groups, the author describes how men learn these messages, how individual men respond to them, and how their influence changes over the course of a man's life.; This accessible text presents a general framework for masculinity and breaks new ground in understanding the construction of male gender identity.

Part I
Learning to be a Man

Chapter 1
Cultural Messages

The more I learn about the world, the more I feel we are fed a bunch of crud about who we are supposed to be.’

28-year-old unskilled laborer (Hispanic)

All boys are born innocent, capable of becoming Charles Manson or Dr Martin Luther King Jr. With constant love and nourishment boys have the capacity to grow into cuddly teddy bears. With hatred, abuse, and abandonment they can become fierce grizzlies. Young boys become men by responding to situational demands and social pressures. Surrounded with expectations about how they, as men, ought to behave, boys have to sift through various demands placed upon them by their culture, their associates, their teachers, their friends, and their family to construct their own gender identities.

Gender identity has been defined as ‘an individual’s own feelings of whether he or she is a woman or man, a girl or a boy. In essence gender identity is self attribution of gender’ (Kessler and McKenna, 1978, p. 8). At an individual level a boy constructs his gender identity based upon his biology which influences messages he receives from his environment about how he ought to behave. Through language people develop classifying schemes which differentiate objects by gender (Lindsey, 1990). Each man constructs his own identity in relation to specific gender notions deeply embedded in his culture. These notions are coded into messages with specific configurations that spell out specialized patterns of conduct. To learn a role it is not enough to acquiesce to routines immediately necessary for its outward performance. A young boy must be initiated into the various cognitive and affective layers of the norms appropriate to that role. Each role carries with it a socially defined appendage of knowledge and a repertoire of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors.

Humans develop mechanisms of social control that include sanctions and retribution (Berger and Luckmann, 1966, p. 61). Roles represent and protect institutional order. Because of the overwhelming need of society to prepare the next generation for the social order, males and females are groomed to fit different adult roles. By conforming to roles, boys participate in their social worlds. Their conduct is subject to enforcement through a highly developed series of gender codes that spell out how males and females behave.

Not only does the social definition set up a pattern of behavior that is culturally consistent with whatever sex the child is told he or she is; it also instills in the child the never-to-be-forgotten feeling that being male or female is something to work at to accomplish, and to be sure not to lose, rather than something one is biologically. (Bem, 1993, p. 148)

Young boys are rewarded by their parents and teachers for conforming to gender-role standards. Playmates congratulate peers for performing like men. Mentors pat them on the back for their ‘masculine’ achievements.

Concepts of masculinity, which provide beliefs about how men ought to behave, are constructed at many different levels both in society and in the minds of individuals. A masculine ideology generated by news media, artists, teachers, historians, parents, priests, and public figures dominates how men think about themselves. Because men in any country tend to share cultural histories, they may receive similar notions about how to behave. These common understandings of masculinity constitute dominant cultural norms.

Children who internalize social norms become cultural natives as members of particular social clans with traditions that define right and wrong. Boys from different subcultures— classes, kinship networks, ethnic groups, regional enclaves, religious communities—view the dominant ideology for masculinity with different lenses. From these perspectives they construct complex gender identities full of idiosyncratic interpretations of masculinity that contain common threads derived from dominant cultural norms and subcultural influences. These identities contain complicated notions about male behavior. Male gender identity, the subjective sense men develop about their own and others’ masculinities, can be conceived as a man’s interpretation and acting out of how his social group interprets masculinity. A man’s gender identity has four distinct components that can be represented with the following equation:

gender identity=biology+dominant cultural norms+subcultural influences+unique circumstances ‘Biology’ refers to the physical characteristics of a boy or girl by which he or she is sex typed. These biological aspects are interpreted within a complex maze of social beliefs:

From the moment a child is born, he or she is exposed to a world in which the facts of gender are taken at face value. A boy’s genitals are the first sign of his membership in the category male. Such categorization is not simply a label—it affects the way in which he defines his differences from the category female. (Brittan, 1989, p. 14)

Gender is such a powerful category that it sometimes overrules biology, as in the case of transsexuals (Stoller, 1985). Thus, a person with female genitalia and body characteristics might identify as a male, responding to masculine norms. Roles added to biology create a complex gender system.

‘Dominant cultural norms’ refers to patterns of masculinity promoted within national boundaries. Concepts of appropriate masculinity differ between countries like Chile, the United States, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, and Japan. Although each country supports specific notions for how men ought to behave, different countries have similar notions for male behavior. Gilmore (1990) has argued that almost all cultures create ideals and norms about appropriate male behavior that serve ultimately to insure the survival of the culture. Elected officials, sports stars, literary figures, and popular actors help establish national norms for male behavior. Such depictions of men, together with values promoted by government, churches, and educational institutions, provide commonly understood notions of masculinity. In spite of these common images masculinity is not a uniform concept. Every country contains many dynamic and diverse concepts of masculinity.

‘Subcultural influences’ refers to an individual’s membership within an ethnic or cultural group, e.g. Italian, Norwegian, inner city, suburban, Southern, working class, etc. Each of these different groups has a unique set of expectations for appropriate male behavior. These expectations, influenced by dominant culture, represent a variation with different emphases upon certain roles.

‘Unique circumstances’ refers to the environment in which a boy is raised. How do his father and mother behave towards him? Is his father domineering? What is the son’s role in the family? Do his parents promote conformity to a particular church’s teachings? What behaviors do other men within his environment exhibit? The tremendous variety of these different circumstances provides a rich diversity of masculinities, so that men raised in the same country within similar subcultures will have divergent views of appropriate male behavior.

Popular and unpopular notions of masculinity are subject to the winds of social change. All the same, masculinity does contain certain core concepts within cultural traditions as broad as advanced technological societies which include the United States, Canada, Japan, and European nations. Men in these cultures have formed identities in relation to the demands of surviving in an industrial world that is shifting to an information based economy. Challenges men face within technological societies differ from those men experienced before the discovery of electricity and from those men who live in primitive circumstances face on many parts of this planet. This is not to imply that one set of understandings about how men ought to behave is better than another, rather that different cultures contain differing norms for masculinity.

Cultural myths contain male messages that set forth prescriptions for how men ought to behave. These cultural myths have deep historical roots within a Western tradition that goes back to the ancient Greeks. Masculine myths containing male messages are invented stories about the deeds of men, passed down from father to sons. They praise the accomplishments of male heroes in movies, in songs, and in men’s writings. Male myths contain noble standards for male behavior beyond the reach of most men, as well as standards that manifest degradations of all sorts. Like other myths, the origins of male messages lack rational explanation. We are neither sure where these myths which portray superhuman aspects of masculinity began, nor are we clear about why our society values them. They are celebrated because we want men to exhibit certain qualities portrayed by the myths.

In a modern technological world these cultural myths are extremely diverse and contribute to many different types of male behavior. In the United States myths from African and Spanish speaking countries provide role models for young boys forming their gender identities. In Great Britain immigrants from the former commonwealth countries provide diverse interpretations of masculinity. In France settlers from Africa provide their own cultural traditions about how males ought to behave. In Germany Turkish workers bring their masculine myths into Teutonic culture. Male messages that define masculinity contain complex and contradictory norms reflecting a wide variety of cultural myths, each with its own specific history and values.

Dominant Cultural Norms

The following 24 gender-role messages set standards for appropriate male behavior in the latter half of the twentieth century. Although this list has been generated in the United States, it has universal application. Because of the power of the US media, these messages are hegemonic, heard around the world, contributing to masculine ideology as men strive to conform to messages of modernity broadcast by popular media. This list is not exhaustive. Men receive many more messages than those listed below. This list is, however, representative of dominant male gender norms in modern technological societies.

The messages listed below, which have been generated from a diverse sample of men, also apply to women. These cultural norms are not exclusively male. The categories ‘male’ and ‘female’ do not exist isolated from each other. Although many women hear the same messages, this book will not discuss the influence of these messages upon females. Rather, it will present gender norms that a sample of 560 men in the United States rated as being influential in their lives. In this list those male messages that are considered traditionally masculine are labelled with a ‘C’ because they reflect what Clyde Franklin has called ‘the classical man’ (1984).

Male Messages

C Adventurer: Men take risks and have adventures. They are brave and courageous. Be Like Your Father: Dad is your role model. Males express feelings in ways similar to their fathers.

C Be the Best You Can: Do your best. Do not accept being second. ‘I can’t’ is unacceptable.

C Breadwinner: Men provide for and protect family members. Fathering means bringing home the bacon, not necessarily nurturing.

C Control: Men are in control of their relationships, emotions, and job. Faithful Husband: Men give up their freedom when they get married. Good Samaritan: Do good deeds and acts. Put others’ needs first. Set a good example.

C Hurdles: To be a man is to pass a series of tests. Accomplishment is central to the male style.

C Money: A man is judged by how much money he makes and the status of his job. Nature Lover: Love of outdoors. Respectful treatment of plants and animals. Harmony with nature.
Nurturer: Among other things men are gentle, supportive, warm, sensitive, and concerned about others’ feelings.

C Playboy: Men should be sexually aggressive, attractive and muscular.

C President: Men pursue power and status. They strive for success. Rebel: Defy authority and be a nonconformist. Question and rebel against system. Scholar: Be knowledgeable. Go to college. Value book learning. Read and study.

C Self-Reliant: Asking for help is a sign of weakness. Go it alone. Be self sufficient and do not depend on others.

C Sportsman: Men enjoy playing sports, where they learn the thrill of victory and how to compete.

C Stoic: Ignore pain in your body. Achieve even though it hurts. Do not admit weakness.

C Superman: Men are supposed to be perfect. They do not admit mistakes. Technician: Men relate to, understand, and maintain machines. They fix and repair things around the house.
The Law: Do right and obey. Do not question authority.

C Tough Guy: Men do not touch, show emotions, or cry. They do not let others push them around.

C Warrior: Men take death defying risks to prove themselves and identify with war heroes.

C Work Ethic: Men are supposed to work for a living and not take handouts.

The fifteen classical messages—‘adventurer’, ‘be the best you can’, ‘breadwinner’, ‘control’, ‘hurdles’, ‘money’, ‘playboy’, ‘president’, ‘self reliant’, ‘sportsman’, ‘stoic’, ‘superman’, ‘tough guy’, ‘warrior’, and ‘work ethic’, 63 per cent of the male messages used in this study—describe traditional standards of male behavior. These classical messages point to a man often portrayed in Hollywood movies. Like Clint Eastwood or John Wayne, he is tough, adventurous, and neither backs down from conflicts nor shows his feelings.

The other nine messages (‘be like your father’, ‘faithful husband’, ‘good samaritan’, ‘law’, ‘nature lover’, ‘nurturer’, ‘rebel’, ‘scholar’, and ‘technician’) have not received much discussion in gender-role literature. They indicate that modern expectations upon men transcend classical standards for male behavior. Although some of these (‘be like your father’, ‘faithful husband’, ‘law’, ‘rebel’, and ‘technician’) appear throughout western culture they are non-traditional, not having been seen as dominant messages. Four (‘good samaritan’, ‘nature lover’, ‘nurturer’, and ‘scholar’) have not appeared in descriptions of male conditioning (David and Brannon, 1976; Doyle, 1983; Farrell, 1986; Pleck and Sawyer, 1974). Males who stated that these messages have influenced their constructions of masculinity indicate that masculinity is not uniform in its expectations, containing only classical notions of appropriate male behavior. These four messages plus ‘be like your father’ ‘faithful husband’ and ‘rebel’ point to a type of man not often celebrated in popular culture. He wants to be like his father if he receives nurturing from him. A faithful husband pursues a committed, mutual relationship and not casual relationships for his own convenience. A good samaritan cares for others. A nature lover, concerned about the fate of planet Earth, nurtures plants and animals. A rebel questions social conventions. A scholar investigates different views of reality in his search for truth.

The above list of messages indicates that masculine gender role expectations are not limited to unemotional, aggressive responses to the world. As Robert Brannon has stated, ‘lt would be a mistake to assume that the male gender-role is a totally negative influence on the millions of individuals who grew up under its influence’ (1985, p. 312). A man’s gender ...