Support Groups For Children

Kathleen O'Rourke, John C. Worzbyt

• Publisher: Taylor & Francis
• Year: 2013
• ISBN:
  9781135059057
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Educational Psychology

Designed for use with children in grades K-6, this book provides a review of support groups: their nature and value; the tripartite model of children's needs, behaviours they need to learn and environmental conditions that support learning; the Keystone Learning Model, which encompasses the tripartite model, strengths and decision-making; and 'nuts and bolts' suggestions for creating and managing child support groups. The book also addresses various support groups chapter by chapter and homework ideas are provided with each chapter.

PART I

VALUES, GOALS, AND FACILITATIVE CONCERNS

Chapter 1

UNDERSTANDING SUPPORT GROUPS

Family groups, peer groups, and social groups shape the lives of our children for better or worse. Children learn about themselves and others; address their needs; and formulate their thoughts, feelings, and actions as members of various groups. Because the socialization process so significantly impacts the lives of our children in shaping their successes and how they handle life’s adversities, it only makes sense to utilize groups in helping children turn life’s set-backs into come-backs.

Support Groups for Children was designed to help facilitators assist children in becoming winners in life despite the daily challenges, set-backs, or barriers they will face. As children experience challenges, what really matters is not where they start, but how they finish in response to them. Their potential can never be fully realized if they back down from or are absorbed by adversity.

Support Groups for Children emphasizes that when children receive constructive support from their peers and professionally trained, caring adults, success is just one step beyond defeat. Most children today want to be winners in life, to self-manage in a responsible manner, and to feel good about themselves. Many children, however, lack the necessary information, skills, self-confidence, and opportunity to turn life’s adversities into successes. Support Groups for Children provides a plan for facilitators that will assist them in helping children support themselves and each other in the face of family (alcoholism, divorce, stepfamilies), personal (stress, anger, self-esteem), and social (peer pressure, conflict, and loss) challenges.

WHAT SUPPORT GROUPS ARE AND WHAT THEY ARE NOT

A support group consists of a small group of children (5 to 10 in number) who are experiencing similar life challenges. These children are brought together by a trained facilitator to help them explore their feelings, thoughts, and actions and to achieve new levels of understanding about their dilemmas, which will lead to more effective and responsible methods of self-management.

Most children are motivated by the need to manage their lives successfully and to feel good about themselves while in the process of doing so. Support groups provide the physical and psychological climate necessary for the fulfillment of these needs.

Support groups are not a cure-all for all problems nor are they the answer for all children. Some life challenges may be so unique or of such crisis proportion that they need to be handled via individual counseling. Likewise some children may not be acceptable candidates for support groups. They may not be prepared (physically, socially, and/or emotionally) to benefit from this medium (support groups). Support groups do not seem to work well with children whose personalities, social skill deficits, or current life conditions place them or others potentially at risk.

The key to successful support groups is the bonding and emotional connectiveness that takes place among children as they learn from each other and share positive and responsible ways to self-manage in the face of adversity. Support groups work because they instill camaraderie and hope. They demonstrate that success comes to those with patience, persistence, and a plan. Support groups provide for these three important ingredients.

VALUE OF SUPPORT GROUPS

As previously mentioned, child support groups are composed of children who share a common status (children of alcoholics) or predicament (conflict) that generates some degree of stress. The goal of child support groups is to help minimize stress through mutual support and sharing of coping strategies, information, and confidence. The group facilitator does not attempt to change the status of members but rather accepts their situation and helps them carry on with their lives and grow in their understanding of self and others.

Child support groups provide children with support, emotional nurturance, and a sense of identity at a time in their lives when such conditions are missing. They facilitate changes in self-perception and teach children how to empower themselves in light of new information and skills. Child support groups thus provide a cooperative climate for growth, frequent interaction among participants, and an opportunity to learn from each other’s successes and mistakes.

SUCCESSFUL SUPPORT GROUPS

Successful child support groups work best when children

• feel safe and secure within their group;

• share a common understanding of their problem (situation/condition);

• learn new and more effective ways to manage their situation;

• express their feelings, thoughts, and diverse points of view;

• experience constructive and nonjudgmental feedback throughout the change process;

• experience a positive self-image and personal pride;

• support and encourage each other in trying new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting as they discover self-qualities and abilities previously unknown;

• participate in group tasks of graduated difficulty and experience personal power that comes from risking and succeeding;

• advance to a status within the group where they not only receive help but also provide assistance to others commensurate with their abilities; and

• apply what they are learning to their life situations and experience the freedom that comes with new choices.

Child support groups make a positive difference in helping children succeed in the face of adversity. They learn to turn adversity into opportunity. Child support group facilitators play a significant role in helping to achieve this reality. They are the catalysts that foster personal growth in children by creating and supporting the necessary climatic conditions for change to occur.

Chapter 2

SUPPORT GROUPS: A BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS

Child support groups are designed to accomplish three goals. These goals are to help children:

• understand their current life situations;

• develop coping strengths that will enable them to do better; and

• make effective life decisions based on Right, Reality, and Responsibility.

Although this text is not a facilitator training manual, it does provide an effective teaching-learning model to follow when processing support group sessions. The support group curriculum consists of four interrelated dimensions:

• The Tripartite,

• Strengths Training,

• The Keystone Learning Model, and

• 3 R’s Decision Making

These four dimensions contribute to the development of a sound educational curriculum that will assist children in accomplishing the three mentioned goals.

THE TRIPARTITE

Child support groups are like three-legged stools (Figure 2.1). They require three elements to make them productive. The “Tripartite” consists of children’s needs, behavioral strengths, and the learning environment. Together these elements will determine the level of success attained by children participating in support group experiences (Worzbyt & O’Rourke, 1989).

Figure 2.1. The Tripartite.

Child Needs

Children have a strong need to manage their lives effectively and to feel good about themselves as they are doing so. As described throughout this book, however, children’s needs are constantly being assaulted and challenged (Maslow, 1970). When children’s needs are threatened and are in danger of not being fulfilled, they experience a loss of self. Feeling alone and powerless, they are motivated to maintain stability in their lives but often are at a loss as to how to accomplish this end.

Children facing the divorce of their parents, loss of a loved one, low self-esteem, or conflict and peer pressure are in search of ways to feel better about themselves and to manage the adversity in their lives successfully. Children who participate in support groups are looking for ways to satisfy their needs in socially acceptable and responsible ways.

If child support groups are to succeed, facilitators first must identify and then respond to the unfulfilled needs of the children they serve. In Support Groups for Children, we identify some of the common needs experienced by children in each support group presented. Only by addressing these needs and others will children benefit from a support group experience.

Strengths to be Learned

What children desire most is to learn those strengths that will best satisfy their needs. As children participate in support groups, they will learn that while they cannot change others to get what they need, they can change themselves and how they respond to life’s adversities. Support groups teach children new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting in the face of disruption. Support Groups for Children suggests specific strengths to teach children in response to their needs. In addition to the strengths that we have identified for each support group, facilitators are encouraged to monitor their groups closely and to teach additional strengths when appropriate.

Conditions of the Learning Environment

Teaching children what they need to learn only can be accomplished in a supportive learning...