Bisexual Women

Friendship and Social Organization

M Paz Galupo

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2013
• eBook ISBN: 9781136577192
• Topic: Ciencias sociales
• Subtopic: Estudios de género

Understand the unique emotional dynamics of bisexual women's friendship relationships

Prevailing attitudes toward bisexuality affect every aspect of a bisexual woman's emotional and sexual life. Bisexual Women: Friendship and Social Organization comprehensively explores the friendship relationships of bisexual women, and the ways that bisexuality shapes the friendship experience. This book fills a gap in the literature and research on bisexuality and friendship, presenting leading experts discussing the latest qualitative and quantitative studies on this rarely visited topic. This examination explains how the friendships of bisexual and bi-curious women can be affected by sexism, heterosexism, biphobia, and racism, as well as providing an insightful review of how bisexual women are portrayed in film and literature.

Bisexual and bi-curious women often have a more diverse range of friendship experiences than heterosexual women. Bisexual Women: Friendship and Social Organization presents studies and personal essays to provide a comprehensive understanding of the patterns of various friendship relationships that exist because ofand in spite ofprevalent social attitudes about bisexuality. This extensive look details various aspects of bisexual women's relationships as well as society's biases and preconceived notions. Analysis of research explores the various effects that being bisexual has on the way women approach friendship, as well as how society views both bisexuality and relationships.

Topics in Bisexual Women: Friendship and Social Organization include:

• research into young women's emerging sexual orientation identity
  
• types of friendships formed by bisexual women
  
• how friendship experiences are shaped by sociopolitical attitudes
  
• bisexual images in popular media
  
• critique of the bisexual women's friendship literature
  
• how heterosexism shapes platonic and erotic relationships
  
• how bisexuality constricts social relationships
  
• analysis of how sexual experiences influenced friendships
  
• much more

Bisexual Women: Friendship and Social Organization is insightful, important reading for psychologists, counselors, LGBT studies professionals, educators, and students.

RESEARCH PERSPECTIVES ON BISEXUAL WOMEN'S FRIENDSHIPS

Young Women's Sexual Experiences Within Same-Sex Friendships: Discovering and Defining Bisexual and Bi-Curious Identity

Elizabeth M. Morgan
Elisabeth Morgan Thompson

Available online at http://jb.haworthpress.com
© 2006 by The Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved.
doi:10.1300/J159v06n03_02

[Haworth co-indexing entry note]: “Young Women’s Sexual Experiences Within Same-Sex Friendships: Discovering and Defining Bisexual and Bi-Curious Identity.” Morgan, Elizabeth M., and Elisabeth Morgan Thompson. Co-published simultaneously in Journal of Bisexuality (Harrington Park Press, an imprint of The Haworth Press, Inc.) Vol. 6, No. 3, 2006, pp. 7-34; and: Bisexual Women: Friendship and Social Organization (ed: M. Paz Galupo) Harrington Park Press, an imprint of The Haworth Press, Inc., 2006, pp. 7-34. Single or multiple copies of this article are available for a fee from The Haworth Document Delivery Service [1-800-HAWORTH, 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. (EST). E-mail address: [email protected]].

SUMMARY. Though not frequently studied for their role in sexual orientation identity development, sexual experiences within same-sex friendships may offer an opportunity for bisexual and bi-curious women to explore and define their sexual orientation. This study examined sexual self-defining memories and narratives about sexual orientation development in bisexual and bi-curious young women. Participants were 48 female college students of various ethnic backgrounds. They were selected for the study based on their primary sexual orientation identification and because they included a sexual experience with a same-sex friend as their event narrative. The event narratives were classified based on age (childhood versus adolescence) and type of same-sex friend sexual experience (sexual attraction versus sexual behavior). Themes of discovery, closeness, conflict, and defining identity emerged. Findings suggest that sexual experiences with same-sex friends can serve an important role in the emergence and definition of bisexual and bi-curious identity. [Article copies available for a fee from The Haworth Document Delivery Service: 1-800-HAWORTH. E-mail address: <[email protected]> Website: <:http://www.HaworthPress.com> © 2006 by The Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved.]

KEYWORDS., Bisexuality,, sexual identity development,, friendship,, self-defining memories

We all slept over at my house one night. Eating pizza, watching movies, etc. Katie¹ had just gotten her tongue pierced. We were all sitting around talking about what it would be like to kiss someone with a tongue ring. However it came up, Katie agreed to kiss everyone so they would know. But that wouldn't be fair because then Katie kissed four girls and we all kissed one. We all ended up kissing each other. Every slumber party we had after that turned into something sexual. Swimming naked, kissing, rubbing, etc. Those were my first experiences with other women. The experiences were soft, enjoyable, comfortable and intimate. Captioned: “Slumber parties with my four best girl friends.” (20-year-old Caucasian woman, Ashley)

Exploring and constructing one's sexual identity is a fundamental developmental task throughout adolescence and young adulthood that informs later management of physical and emotional intimacy in rela-tionships with others (Arnett, 2000; Collins & Sroufe, 1999; Erikson, 1968). For adolescents and young adults in general, this time can be characterized by recognizing one's sexual attractions, acting on these attractions, and beginning to develop a sexual identity. For sexual minorities specifically, this frequently involves the discovery of attraction to and initial sexual experiences with the same-sex (Rust, 2003; Savin- Williams, 1995).

For sexual minorities, the discovery of same-sex feelings can cause confusion because heterosexuality is institutionalized and imposed from an early age (Rich, 1980). Because heterosexuality is the “norm,” coming to identify as a sexual minority can be difficult due to societal disapproval of same-sex sexual behavior. In hopes to alleviate some of this tension, many researchers have turned their attention toward understanding sexual-minority identity development in general, and lesbian and gay male identity development in particular (e.g., McCarn & Fassinger, 1996; Fassinger&Miller, 1996). While many studies on sexual- minority identity development attempt to include bisexuals in their sample, the number is usually so small that few, if any, analyses are done with bisexuals alone; instead, they are often combined with gay and lesbian participants despite research highlighting unique aspects of bisexual identity development.

In general, bisexual identity development is considered distinct from heterosexual, gay, and lesbian identity development such that the process is viewed as more dynamic and open-ended (Fox, 1995; Zinik, 1985). Moreover, bisexual identity development in women is especially characterized by flexibility, fluidity, and complexity (Diamond, 2000, 2003; Kinnish, Strassberg, & Turner, 2005; Rust, 1993). Bower, Gurevich, and Mathieson (2002) found tension in bisexual women between resisting a label of bisexuality, while simultaneously striving, “for credibility in a cultural context in which bisexuality occupies an ambiguous position” (p. 25). Additionally, in discussions with bisexual women about choosing a definition of bisexuality for the self, Berenson (2002) found that her participants preferred to speak about bisexuality using a “continuum narrative,” one that eliminates barriers and restrictions, further orienting bisexuality as a fluid and complex identity.

Because of strict notions of dichotomous sexual identity, bisexual identity inhabits a liminal position, from which its mere existence is questioned by “outsiders” (Rust, 2002). As a result, bisexual identity has to be “invented” (Bradford, 2004). Interestingly though, for bisexual women, the boundaries around bisexual identity are not as strictly 10 BISEXUAL WOMEN: FRIENDSHIP AND SOCIAL ORGANIZATION policed, restricted, or even well-defined (Berenson, 2002) as other identities (Amestoy, 2001). Likewise, bisexual women have been shown to be very heterogeneous in the expression of their sexual identities (Kinnish et al., 2005; Rust, 2001; Weinberg, Williams, & Pryor, 2001) and to resist a rigid set of rules regarding who gains membership (Berenson, 2002), resulting in a more open and flexible identity category (Fassinger & Arseneau, 2007). This is especially important as we begin to study the circumstances surrounding emergent bisexual identities, where same-sex curiosity and exploration is a likely first step. While there has been a limited, but growing, research body on bisexual identity development, there has been even less research on questioning and unlabeled (non-heterosexual) individuals, and no research to date on people who identify as bi-curious, a potential precursor to adopting a bisexual identity. In this study, we are interested in the various forms of bisexual and bi-curious identities and we are examining them in the context of sexual experiences in same-sex friendships. We chose to consider women in particular because young women are more likely to have bisexual-based identities (Savin-Williams & Diamond, 2000).

YOUNG WOMEN'S FRIENDSHIPS

Along with sexual orientation identity development, adolescence and young adulthood is characterized by increasing importance of peer relationships (e.g., Youniss & Smollar, 1985). Research indicates that same-sex friendships make up the majority of adolescents' social networks (Diamond & Dubé, 2002), and that, for women, these relationships are characterized by intimacy and emotional sharing (Camarena, Sarigiana, & Petersen, 1990) and shifting dyads of “best friends” (Griffin, 2000). However, mainstream research on sexuality has privileged cross-sex friendships, ignored the possibilities of same-sex desire between young women, and emphasized fundamental differences between same-sex friendships and romantic relationships (Griffin, 2002).

Casting doubt on the traditional view that same-sex platonic friendships are fundamentally different from heterosexual romantic relationships, Diamond's (2002) study of passionate friendships found that sexual-minority women report emotionally intimate, passionate, and intense friendships that resemble romantic relationships. Additionally, she found that these same-sex friendships frequently included physical intimacy and occasionally included sexual attraction and sexual exploration.

Despite having established that same-sex friendships are increasingly important during adolescence, and preliminary indications that same-sex friendships are the site of emotionally intense and potential sexual/romantic relationships, very little research has examined how bi-curious, bisexual, or even lesbian women use same-sex friendships to explore same-sex attractions and their sexual identities. Therefore, young women's same-sex friendships provide an arena that, if explored, may yield a better understanding of sexual-minority identity development and, in particular, women's bi-curious and bisexual identity development.

Because sexual and romantic attraction and behavior in same-sex friendships has received little attention, it is worthwhile to review research on sexual attraction and exploration in cross-sex friendships with heterosexual adolescents and young adults. Several researchers have investigated sexual attraction and behavior in cross-sex friendships, exploring the prevalence of sexual attraction (Kaplan & Keys, 1997), sexual tension (Monsour, Harris, & Kurzweil, 1994), and sexual or physical contact (Monsour, 1992). In these studies, sexual attraction and physical contact between cross-sex friends was common (Kaplan& Keys), but 20 percent of men and 10 percent of women reported sexual tension within a cross-sex friendship (Monsour et al.). Monsour found that physical contact was viewed by women and sexual contact was viewed by men as expressions of intimacy in cross-sex friendships. Overall, these findings suggest that cross-sex “platonic” friendships can be sites of sexual and romantic attraction as well as physical or sexual intimacy for heterosexual youth. Because sexual attraction and exploration occurs among cross-sex friendships for heterosexual youth, it is likely that adolescents who simultaneously experience same-sex attractions might choose to explore their emerging bi-curious or bisexual identities during adolescence and young adulthood within same-sex friendships.

One study that has specifically reviewed sexual explorations among young women with same-sex attractions found that friendship was a frequent site for sexual and romantic involvement (Dempsey, Hillier, & Harrison, 2001). In their online survey study of same-sex attracted Australian youth between 14 and 21 years old, Dempsey et al. found that female participants, in particular, were more likely than male participants to have explored their same-sex attractions with female friends. Having a relationship based on friendship has also been identified as important in lesbian dating and courtship. Rose, Zand, and Cini (1993) discussed a lesbian romance script that depicts emotional intimacy and sexual at-traction as being intertwined in two women's attraction to each other. Additionally, in a study of lesbian relationship formation, Rose and Zand (2002) found that 74 percent of lesbians reported having been friends with a woman, on at least one occasion, before becoming romantically involved with her.

Examining traditional scripts of feminine sexuality help clarify why female friends offer a likely arena for sexual-minority women in general, and bi-curious and bisexual women in particular, to question and explore their sexual orientation. First, as a result of traditional scripts of femininity and female sexuality (e.g., Fine, 1988), women are likely to internalize expectations of the relational dimensions of their sexual encounters and define attraction as involving components of emotional closeness. For bisexual and bi-curious women, the increasing intimacy of their same-sex friendships during adolescence would provide a desired component of their sexual attraction and romantic relationship scripts. Furthermore, Dempsey et al. (2001) propose that same-sex attracted young women are likely to have initial same-sex sexual experiences within friendships because of the emphasis on emotional and relational aspects of sexuality for women. This apparently made sexual exploration with friends more congruous to their socialized notions of appropriate sexual activity. Thus, the connections between sexuality and emotional closeness for women may lead bisexual and bi-curious women to explore same-sex attractions within close samesex friendships rather than within other types of relationships.

Sexual attraction and exploration with same-sex friends is not without potential risks and conflicts. Female participants in Dempsey et al.'s (2001) study indicated that sexual involvement with or desire for samesex friends was emotionally risky, such that a friend's negative reactions or non-reciprocated feelings of attraction may lead to the dissolution of the friendship. Similarly, in studies of attraction in cross-sex friendships, results indicate that when feelings of physical/sexual attraction and romantic attraction are asymmetrical, it can cause tension within the friendship dyad (Reeder, 2000). Other research has shown that, while perhaps interested in a romantic relationship, women are more likely than men to indicate that having sex with a male friend could ruin a friendship (Bell, 1981). Additionally, there are repercussions of becoming romantically involved with a cross-sex friend, such as also ending the friendship when the relationship ends (Rubin, 1985; Werking, 1997). Female participants in Dempsey et al.'s study indicated confusion about what feelings of same-sex attraction and samesex sexual experiences meant for their romantic and relational futures, as well as their sexual orientation identity. Thus, both worries about potential conflict with friends and confusion about one's own sexual identity surfaced among female youth who were exploring their samesex sexual attractions.

Overall, studies of sexual attraction and exploration within cross-sex friendships for heterosexual women and same-sex friendships for sexual- minority women have indicated that sexual attraction and sexual contact can and does occur within friendships. Research has suggested that same-sex friendships can provide an emotionally close relationship within which women may explore their same-sex attractions, but also that this exploration carries both risks of conflict within the friendship and within the individual questioning her sexual orientation for the first time. Despite this potentially central role of friends in initial same-sex sexual exploration, studies of and information about the role of same-sex friendships in women's sexual-m...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Half Title Page
• Series Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• About the Editor
• Contents
• About the Contributors
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction
• Research Perspectives on Bisexual Women's Friendships
• Personal Perspectives on Bisexual Women's Friendships
• Invited Commentary
• Index