I was surprised there wasnât much conversation ⌠the person who did it just handed me a couple of brochures about places where I could go.
(Hult, Maurer, & Moskowitz, 2009, p. 186)
It could be said that individuals may struggle to comprehend the meaning of a positive test result when they are first diagnosed. In the same study, one participant said:
from that point on, I couldnât hear anything. I mean, they try to talk to you, they try to counsel you, they try to tell you everythingâs okay. I donât know what they said. I donât remember. I just remember sitting there going, âUhh ⌠uh, uh, yeah âŚâ just my mind was just shut down.
(Hult, Maurer, & Moskowitz, 2009, p. 187)
Sarah Rutter and Sam Warner explore the psychological effects of trauma further in Chapter 6.
Noellyâs account of her experience shines a different light on what it is like to be diagnosed with HIV. A found poem has been constructed from Noellyâs interview transcript. Please see Gabriel, Lee, and Taylor (2018) and Amos (2019) for discussion on the process of creating found poetry.
Reflection box 3: a found poem by Noelly
âWhat really stands outâ
What really stands out is going for my HIV test
not in a bad way
just that I remember
I was really scared
took me a long time before I went
I remember walking in
I was on my own
lining up and getting into the room where the nurse had to take my blood
clearly it said on the sheet HIV
I could see the nurse looking at me
I donât know whether it was
I would say pity
I could see she felt for me
I was there
you know, really worried
and everything you know
I remember that memory very well
just going all the way up to the hospital
the journey was very long and sitting there all by myself
that kind of stands out for me
Reflective questions:
What is your response to this poem?
Do any of the words, phrases, sections stand out to you?
Note down any immediate thoughts, feelings or bodily sensations.
It is worth noting here the words that Noelly uses: ânot in a bad wayâ, she says, when recalling the time of her diagnosis. She remembers it but she seems keen to state that her recollection is not because it was felt exclusively as damaging. Perhaps there is an assumption that the person receiving the diagnosis will respond negatively. Could this be why the nurse working with Noelly looked at her with âpityâ? The power of diagnosis in transforming self and relationships highlights it to be, as Jutel (2009) deems, âa powerful social toolâ (p. 289). There is no doubt that some people experience significant distress in response to being diagnosed. However, it seems it could be harmful if healthcare professionals assume that this will be the case.
Giving an HIV positive test result requires time and skill to provide the emotional support that the experiences shared here suggest are needed. Rayment, Asboe, and Sullivan (2014) report that in an ideal circumstance a confirmed positive test result would be delivered face to face by the team or clinician who conducted the test, and that this would take place in a confidential environment with clear language being used. Watson, Namiba, and Lynn (2019) draw attention to the power of language and provide a useful overview of the preferred language of HIV. Table 1.1 summarises three rules that the authors encourage practitioners to observe.
Table 1.1 The language of HIV
Rule 1: positive words Focus on using positive words such as âpromoting healthâ (two positive words) rather than âending diseaseâ (two negative words). | Rule 2: person-first language It is important to use language that puts people first. Using language that puts people first acknowledges people living with HIV as fellow human beings. | Rule 3: avoid the language of war Describing HIV in militaristic ways such as immune cells as soldiers fighting HIV, or ending HIV as elimination, killing or the scourge of AIDS or using these words may lead people to think those living with HIV have to be âfoughtâ or âeliminatedâ. |
Adapted from âThe language of HIV: a guide for nursesâ by Watson, Namiba and Lynn, HIV Nursing (Watson, Namiba, & Lynn, 2019); 19(2).
Historically, disclosure has been the termed used to describe the process of telling someone about their HIV status. If you look at the definition of disclosure, it is often referred to as th...