Matrimony in the True Church

The Seventeenth-Century Quaker Marriage Approbation Discipline

Kristianna Polder

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2016
• Print ISBN: 9781409466888
• eBook ISBN: 9781317099369
• Topic: History
• Subtopic: British History
• Index: History

Like many other denominations, seventeenth-century Quakers were keen to ensure that members married within their own religious community. In order to properly understand the ramification of such a policy, this book explores the early Quaker marriage approbation process and discipline as demonstrated through the works and marriage of the movement's leaders, George Fox and Margaret Fell. The book begins with an introduction that briefly summarises the historical context of the early Quaker movement, the ministry of Fox and Fell, and importance they laid upon the marriage approbation discipline. The remainder of the book is divided into three broad chapters. Chapter one examines the practical aspects of the early Quaker marriage approbation discipline, including a summary of seventeenth-century courtship and marriage practice, and an analysis of early Quaker Meeting Minutes. Chapter two then looks at the theological foundations of the marriage approbation process, and the Quaker emphasis on 'Good Order' and their desire to return to the primitive Christianity of the apostolic church. Chapter three examines the marriage between Fox and Fell, which they presented as a testimony of the union of Christ and his Church. Their married life is analysed through their correspondence to discover whether or not the marriage did indeed exemplify the spiritual gravity originally bestowed upon it by Fox, Fell and some in the Quaker community. Through this close investigation of Quaker marriage approbation, the book offers fascinating insights into early modern English society, attitudes to gender and the early Quakers' self-perception of themselves as the one and only True Church.

Chapter 1 Approbation and ‘Clearness’: The Early Quaker Marriage Discipline

DOI: 10.4324/9781315594323-2

Courtship and marriage were major preoccupation for the early Quakers, and were painstakingly regulated within early Quaker meetings, thought and practice. Endogamous marriages were a necessary component to sustain and propagate the Quaker community, God's True Church.¹ Marriage provided a catalyst for the teaching of Quaker principles and beliefs, a critically important microcosm of the larger family of Quakers in various local communities, and around the world. Marrying outside the Quaker fold was detrimental to the spiritually unified whole. The individual, the married couple, the family and the local Quaker meetings were the primary integrated units of Quaker life, all necessarily unified with one another and with God. The need for collective approbation exemplified their adherence to ‘unity in the Spirit’. Their desire for the maintenance of spiritual unity amongst each other and with God and their desire for the perpetuation of Quaker ideals in the family, couched in their preoccupation with documentation, which provided proof of their reputation as a people of order ‘in the light’, led to a proportionately large amount of time in meetings devoted to granting permission to marry. This means of social control was commonly referred to as ‘approbation’. Fox and Fell's prolific writing regarding the orderly process of the marriage approbation process warned against marriage by priests, discouraged marriage ‘with the world’, and encouraged marriage done in an orderly fashion through the thorough documentation of the marital process.

¹ An endogamous marriage was a marriage between two Quakers, while an exogamous marriage was between a Quaker and a non-Quaker.

The entire marriage approbation process, including their version of correct courtship, was a curious mixture of spirituality and immense paperwork. Intense spiritual sensitivity to God's inward revelation, including individually and communally waiting on God to verify a command from God for a marriage to be brought together, was essential. This inward verification, often referred to as ‘sensing’ or ‘the sense of the Meeting’, was then corporately and carefully documented. Once a couple received approbation to marry, often called ‘clearness’, their marriage would then be ‘witnessed’ by a meeting and ‘published’ in the Book of Minutes. Finally, a certificate was drawn up and signed by the witnesses. Documentation was an occupation of highest import. It was then assured that clear evidence of a marriage having taken place in an orderly and patient fashion was documented on paper, following correct and appropriate procedure in line with Quaker doctrine and practice. The juxtaposition of a bundle of red tape and revelation from God is intriguing. Questions arise as to why the early Quakers had such a fixation on the marital approbation process, including its meticulous documentation. While various seventeenth-century religious sects were in the process of regulating marriage in the interregnum period and beyond, the Quakers were the frontrunners in meticulously questioning the couple, waiting on God for direction, and carefully following official procedure.

This chapter will begin with a discussion of the social stigmas faced by the early Quakers, including popular accusations of amoral and disorderly behaviour, which contributed in part to the more pragmatic reasons for the early Quaker development of a strict courtship and marriage approbation discipline. This will be followed by a brief introduction to marriage and courtship in seventeenth-century England, in order to compare Quakers with their contemporaries in regards to views on marriage approbation. An assessment of Fell and Fox's efforts to regulate marriage approbation will follow. Then the early Quaker approbation process will be examined in greater detail, including an examination of the extant Bristol Meeting minutes of the latter half of the seventeenth century. Finally, the early Quaker wedding ceremony will be considered, followed by concluding remarks on the gradual development of the Women's Meetings and their unique responsibilities in the marriage discipline. Within this chapter we will see how the intriguing events associated with marital approbation, throughout the history of the early Friends’ marriage discipline, illuminate the great lengths at which the early Quakers attempted to conduct themselves in good order. Colourful characters and various circumstances emerge, exemplifying how difficult keeping the marriage discipline ‘in unity’, ‘in the light’ and in good order was for the early Quakers. The early efforts of Fox and Fell to maintain a strict marriage discipline would lay the groundwork and leave a legacy for future Quakers to esteem and to evolve.

Maintenance of Morality and Order

In a society reeling from a fear of chaos and disorder as a result of the Civil War and Interregnum, Fox and Fell were already well aware that a façade of discipline and order was in part essential to survival in society. Though many dissenters were distrusted, because the Quakers were the most prolific and rapidly expanding sect during the late 1650s and 1660s they were also the target of a great deal of popular ridicule, hatred and abuse. Historian Barry Reay argues convincingly the general public's fear and hostility towards the Quakers in 1659 contributed to the popular belief that the restoration of the deposed monarchy was the only means to avoid social and religious anarchy.² George Fox's defence against this hostility was his consistent promotion of good order, particularly in the Quakers’ beliefs as well as their meetings. From their inception, Quakers had encountered accusations of being connected with other popularly criticised sectaries. One such group was the ‘Ranters’, a religious sect which denied sin and regarded any moral behaviour (including monogamous relationships or marriages) to be irrelevant and unnecessary in the end times. Accused of ‘Ranterish’ behaviours, the early Quakers were targets of ridicule and hatred, while their meetings were popularly characterised and exaggerated as ‘grotesque carnivals of sexual and gluttonous excess’.³ Rosemary Moore explains popular anxieties which existed in the seventeenth century of antinomian extreme behaviour:

² Barry Reay, ‘Popular Hostility towards Quakers in Mid-Seventeenth Century England’, Social History, 5 no 3 (October 1980): 387–407; p. 388. ³ Kathryn Gucer, ‘“Not Heretofore Extant in Print”: Where the Mad Ranters Are’, Journal of the History of Ideas, 61 no 1 (Jan 2000): 75–95; p. 78.

People expressed a fear that popular belief in the rule of the Spirit and divine Law would lead to immoral behaviour, which certainly happened in the case of a few Ranters, such as the notorious Lawrence Clarkson, a renegade Baptist who said there was nothing wrong in having sexual relations with many women, provided he continued to support his wife.⁴

⁴ Moore, The Light in Their Consciences, 100–01.

According to a vociferous opponent of Quakerism, Richard Baxter, Quakers were ‘the Ranters turned from horrid Prophaneness and Blasphemy, to a Life of extream Austerity on the other side’ and that their ‘Doctrines were mostly the same with the Ranters: They make the Light which every Man hath within him to be his sufficient Rule’.⁵ After Fox's first visit to Margaret Fell's church, he was accused of being a Ranter by the Ulverston Minister, William Lampitt, who cited Fox's notions of perfectionism as similar to the Ranters’ denial of sin.⁶ Though the early Quakers, including Fox and Fell, had apocalyptic views of their social surroundings, and considered the end of time imminent, they also believed firmly in the inner work of God to make humanity ‘pure’ in the restoration, and likewise continued to value marriage, monogamy and commitment, no matter when the end of the world was coming. Their strong beliefs in God's inward presence led them to increased moral behaviour and a heightened importance regarding marriage, as will be discussed shortly. Nevertheless, popular perceptions of Quakers often remained hostile.

⁵ Richard Baxter, Reliquiae Baxterianae, or, Mr. Richard Baxters narrative of the most memorable passages of his life and times faithfully publish’d from his own original manuscript by Matthew Sylvester (London: T. Parkhurst, I. Robinson, I. Lawrence and I. Dunton, 1696), 77. Cited by Braithwaite, The Beginnings of Quakerism to 1660, 22 and Mack, Visionary Women, 253. ⁶ Moore, The Light in Their Consciences, 100.

In much of the popular mindset, deviancy from social mores or the Church of England were equivalent to moral deviance. Severe attacks were made against the Quakers in regards to their refusal to doff the hat to superiors and to pay tithes, their peculiar way of speaking with ‘thee’ and ‘thou’.⁷ These acts were considered threats to the social order and hierarchy of English society. The perceived deviant sexual behaviours of the Quakers continued to be elaborated upon in popular culture.⁸ In 1655, a disgruntled ex-Quaker from Kendal, John Gilpin accused a Quaker called Hugh Bisbrown of ‘a horrid buggery committed … with a mare’.⁹ In 1673, an anti-Quaker tract from London attacked the Quaker marriage process without a priest, accompanied with accusations of immoral pre-marital sex and illegitimate children:

⁷ Reay, ‘Popular Hostility towards Quakers in Mid-Seventeenth-Century England’, 388–9. Reay asserts, ‘Why was there so much hostility? … There was quite simply a fear of social revolution … Their light within was a great leveller, removing and questioning formal traditional guides, the established rules on which good order was based. Scripture, ministers, the church, the rigid hierarchical structure of society, the magistracy, the law, all were challenged. The sect's “thee” and “thou” which anticipated the radicals of the French Revolution, their refusal to doff hat to social superiors, their unwillingness even to recognize tithes – courageous stuff in the deferential world of the seventeenth century – predictably enraged the men of property’. ⁸ Reay, ‘Popular Hostility towards Quakers in Mid-Seventeenth-Century England’, 392. Reay writes regarding much of the popular mindset regarding the Quakers: ‘Although we do not have any specific evidence for the popular image of the sect, what the ordinary person thought when he or she heard the name Quaker, we can get some idea from the dehumanizing anti-Quaker literature. While they may not have entirely swallowed the image of a bloodthirsty sec...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• 1 Approbation and ‘Clearness’: The Early Quaker Marriage Discipline
• 2 The True Church Coming out of the Wilderness: The Theological and Conceptual Foundation of the Early Quaker Marriage Discipline
• 3 The Marriage of Margaret Fell and George Fox
• Conclusion
• Bibliography
• Index