Love 'Em or Lose 'Em, Sixth Edition

Getting Good People to Stay: 26 Engagement Strategies for Busy Managers

Beverly Kaye, Sharon Jordan-Evans

• Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
• Year: 2023
• Print ISBN: 9781523089352
• eBook ISBN: 9781523089376
• Edition: 6
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Leadership
• Index: Business

The 6th edition of the #1 employee retention guide offers twenty-six simple strategies organized from A to Z and a new emphasis on diversity & inclusion.

"To be a great team, you need outstanding players. The authors show you how to engage your outstanding players and keep them on your team for a long time." —Mike Krzyzewski, Head Coach, Duke University Men's Basketball

Despite booms and busts, technology advances, talent wars, layoffs, and even a global pandemic, people want what they've always wanted. Employees want—and now expect—meaningful work, supportive bosses, regular recognition, and a chance to learn and grow. And managers want their amazing people to stay—for at least a little while longer. For two decades, this Wall Street Journal bestseller—over 800,zero sold—has offered twenty-six simple strategies, from A to Z, that managers can use to address their employees' real concerns and keep them engaged.

The authors have gone over every word of the previous edition, revising, updating, and streamlining. This edition includes a timely focus on diversity and inclusion in every chapter. For example, chapter six focuses on family. Different cultures view family responsibilities differently, so the authors address how to take that into consideration when a treasured employee asks for extended leave to care for a grandparent. And a new section called "Conversations That Count" offers discussion questions for sparking deeper conversation around the topics in the book.

This new edition will ensure that Love 'Em or Lose 'Em will continue to help managers all over the world create a supportive workplace culture so they can fight burnout and keep the people they can least afford to lose.

"The future of work actually has little to do with technology, AI, or algorithms. It's all about people, organizations, and how we manage people within those organizations. Bev and Sharon's book will guide and advise leaders at all levels in making the right people-focused decisions. Readers will find specific and practical ideas to help them be more inclusive and empathetic leaders." —Josh Bersin, global industry analyst

"The principles laid out in Love 'Em or Lose 'Em offer opportunity for people committed to advancing true equity and inclusion in their businesses." —Liji Thomas, Head of Diversity and Inclusion, Southern California Edison

CHAPTER ONE

Ask

WHY DO YOU STAY?

Ponder this: How will you know what everyone on your team really wants?

When do you think most leaders ask questions like “What can I do to keep you?”

You’re right: they ask during the exit interview. At that point it’s typically too late. The talented employee already has one foot out the door.

Have you ever wondered why we ask great questions in exit interviews but neglect to ask early enough to make a difference? Love ’em leaders do ask. They ask early and often, they listen carefully to the answers, and they collaborate with their talented people to help them get more of what they want, right where they are.

Conduct Stay Interviews

Two decades ago, we coined the term stay interview to describe a conversation that leaders need to have with the people they cannot afford to lose. It all started when we answered the call to help a Silicon Valley company increase the odds of holding on to key talent.

Leaders there had just formed a multidisciplinary team tasked with creating a company-wide software system upgrade. That task would take one to two years. The leaders learned that once team members in other companies had been trained for the task, they were quickly recruited (stolen) by consulting firms or competitors. In fact, the organizations who had trained the talent often lost two-thirds or more of those highly skilled people before the new system was in place.

The conversation:

Client: How can we ensure we don’t lose these people? How do we protect our investment?

Us: Do you know what will keep them?

Client: Not really. We imagine it varies by individual.

Us: How about asking them what will keep them? And what might entice them away?

Client: Really? That sounds risky. But we’ll give it a try.

The result:

When asked what might entice them away, nearly all team members said they would leave if their next assignment in the company was not as engaging or meaningful as the current one. The task was then clear. Learn what each person meant by engaging or meaningful, then help him or her find that ideal next position inside the organization. It worked. The client kept all but one team member. Stay interviews helped prevent the loss of key talent.

When we suggest asking employees why they stay or what would keep them, we hear, “You’ve got to be kidding,” “Isn’t that illegal?” or “What if they give me an answer I don’t want to hear?” Managers dance around this core subject, usually for one of three reasons:

Some managers fear putting people on the spot or putting ideas into their heads (as if they never thought about leaving on their own).

Some managers are afraid they will be unable to do anything anyway, so why ask? They fear that the question will raise more dust than they can settle and may cause employees to expect answers and solutions that are out of the managers’ hands.

Some managers say they don’t have the time to have these critical one-on-one discussions with their talented people. There is an urgency to produce, leaving little time to listen, let alone ask. (If you don’t have time for these discussions with the people who contribute to your success, where will you find the time to interview, select, orient, and train their replacements?)

Guessing Is Risky

What if you don’t ask? What if you just keep trying to guess what Tara or Mike or Akina really wants? You will guess right sometimes. The year-end bonus might please them all. Money can inspire loyalty and commitment for the near term. But if the key to retaining Tara is to give her a chance to learn something new, whereas Mike wants to telecommute, how could you ever guess that? Ask—so you don’t have to guess.

ALAS

A senior manager told us of an employee who was leaving his company. On her last day, the senior manager, who was upset at the loss, expressed his disappointment that she was leaving. He wished her well but said, “I wish there were something we could have done to keep you,” assuming that her direct supervisor had asked what would make her stay. But the supervisor hadn’t asked, and something could have been done. The employee said she would have stayed if she could have been more involved in some of the new task forces, as she felt the participation was vital to her goal of growing her career. It was a request that would have been easy to fill—if only he had known!

Asking has positive side effects. The person you ask will feel cared about, valued, and important. Many times asking leads to stronger loyalty and commitment to you and the organization. In other words, just asking the question is an effective engagement and retention strategy.

How and When to Ask

How and when do you bring up this topic? How can you increase the odds of getting honest input from your employees? There is no single way or time to ask. It could happen during a developmental or career discussion with your employees. (You do hold those, don’t you?) Or you might schedule a meeting with your valued employees for the express purpose of finding out what will keep them. One manager sent an invitation to give his key people some time to think and to prepare for the conversation.

Regardless of when you start this dialogue, remember to set the context by telling your employees how critical they are to you and your team and how important it is to you that they stay. Then find out what will keep them. Listen carefully to their responses.

He Dared to Ask

Charlie set up a meeting with his plant manager, Ken, for Monday morning. After some brief conversation about their weekend activities, Charlie said, “Ken, you are critical to me and to this organization. I’m not sure I’ve told you that directly or often enough. But you are. I can’t imagine losing you. So I’d like to know what will keep you here—and what might entice you away.”

Ken was a bit taken aback—but felt flattered. He thought for a moment and then said, “You know, I aspire to move up in the organization at some point, and I’d love to have some exposure to the senior team. I’d like to see how they operate, and frankly I’d like them to get to know me too.” Charlie responded, “I could take you with me to some senior staff meetings. Would that be a start?” Ken said, “That would be great.”

Charlie delivered on Ken’s request one week later.

What If—

What If You Can’t Give What They Want?

Most managers don’t ask because they fear one of two responses: a request for a raise or a request for a promotion. They might not be able to deliver on those kinds of requests. Then what?

The next time a talented employee asks for something you think you might not be able to give, respond by using these four steps:

1. Restate how much you value the employee.

2. Tell the truth about the obstacles you face in granting the requests.

3. Show you care enough to look into the request and to stand up for the employee.

4. Ask, “What else?”

Here’s how the discussion between Charlie and Ken could have gone if Ken had asked for a raise.

Following Charlie’s question about what will ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction: A Proven Approach to Managing and Leading
• Get What You Need from This Book
• 1. Ask * Why Do You Stay
• 2. Buck * It Stops Here
• 3. Careers * Support Growth
• 4. Dignity * Show Respect
• 5. Enrich * Energize the Job
• 6. Family * Get Friendly
• 7. Goals * Expand Options
• 8. Hire * Fit Is It
• 9. Information * Share It
• 10. Jerk * Don’t Be One
• 11. Kicks * Get Some
• 12. Link * Create Connections
• 13. Mentor * Be One
• 14. Numbers * Run Them
• 15. Opportunities * Mine Them
• 16. Passion * Encourage It
• 17. Question * Reconsider The Rules
• 18. Reward * Provide Recognition
• 19. Space * Give It
• 20. Truth * Tell It
• 21. Understand * Listen Deeper
• 22. Values * Define and Mine
• 23. Wellness * Sustain It
• 24. X-plore Generations * Beware and Be Aware
• 25. Yield * Power Down
• 26. Zenith * Go For It
• Conversations That Count
• Notes
• Acknowledgments
• Index
• About the Authors
• Beyond the Book