1 #MenToo? Myths around sexual abuse against men
Introduction
This chapter problematises the myths surrounding sexual violence against men and how they are intricately intertwined with ideas and ideals of hegemonic masculinity. Hegemonic masculinity is a practice that gives status and authority to a manās dominant position in society, to the exclusion of women and other marginalised masculinities, including bisexual and gay men, and queer or transgender people. Raewyn Connellās extensive contributions to the study of hegemonic masculinity demonstrate how it is socially, culturally, and politically institutionalised and regulated by ridicule, intimidation, and violence (1995). Hegemonic masculinity creates social rules by which men are expected to perform masculinity in particular ways; men who fall foul of these standards are subsequently emasculated. There is, therefore, an immediate connection between patriarchy and hegemonic masculinity; as Connell states, āmenās interest in patriarchy is condensed in hegemonic masculinity and is defended by all the cultural machinery that exalts hegemonic masculinityā (1995: 241).
Accordingly, this chapter explores how religion is part of the cultural machinery of hegemonic masculinity, as Judaism and Christianity have found authority for patriarchy in the scriptural texts. This has served to bolster myths around sexual violence against men. First, I define and contextualise sexual abuse against men and male rape in contemporary society and culture. This allows for a critical examination of the impact of abuse and rape on men, including the notions of silence, stigma, shame, and post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as other physical and emotional consequences. This provides a necessary background to document how hegemonic masculinity is equally toxic to men as well as women and serves to perpetuate myths around sexual violence against men. Next, I explore how the #MeToo movement on social media provided an extended platform for men to share their own experiences of abuse, though this was met with criticism about men sabotaging what was originally understood to be a feminist space. Yet, the focus on #Me(n)Too challenges the myths around sexual abuse against men and offers a platform for male survivors to share their stories, thereby providing a counter-narrative to hegemonic masculinity. Moving away from social media to the church itself, the following section focusses on the church as an institution steeped in patriarchy and hegemonic masculinity, and the #ChurchToo movement offered a further platform for sexual abuse against male survivors to be recognised. The final section of this chapter explores the role of religion in obfuscating sexual abuse against men. I argue how homonegative pronouncements and doctrines from churches have conflated sexual abuse against men with same-sex attraction through a legacy of misinterpretations of the scriptural texts (Genesis 19: 1ā29; Judges 19), thereby demonising both homosexuality and male rape as if they were the same. The false association of male rape with homosexuality has been problematic in terms of victims actually reporting their assault. This also raises the question of support for men who are victims of sexual violence, but especially for gay and bisexual men who have long been considered deviant to the regulation of heterosexuality, and therefore their abuse is equated with such deviancy.
Defining sexual abuse against men and male rape
There is undeniably a culture of stigma associated with sexual abuse against men. According to the charity ā1 in 6ā, at least 1 in 6 men are sexually abused or assaulted during their lifetime. The charity uses this statistic to denote menās āunwanted sexual experiencesā, observing how many men do not want or are not ready to label such experiences as sexual abuse or assault. The organisation originally started with the objective of offering support to men who had unwanted sexual experiences in childhood, but now encompasses support for those who have also been victimised as adults.1
In UK legislation, the Sex Offences Act (2003) describes rape as penetration with a penis, vaginally or anally, without consent.2 A person convicted of rape faces imprisonment of up to a life sentence.3 Therefore, in legal terms, only those with a penis can be designated as rapists. However, assault by penetration, which may include an object or anything other than a penis, does hold the same potential sentence of life imprisonment. The semantic connection between the word āpenetrationā and āpenisā serves linguistically to denote that the focus seems to be on men raping other men. Whereas statistics pertaining to male rape centre on the anal penetration of the victim, what does not constitute male rape, legally, is forcing a man to penetrate another person: a scenario in which the penetrator is actually the victim. Rather, this latter crime falls under the category of ācausing a person to engage in sexual activity without consentā and holds a maximum prison sentence of ten years.4 Legislation in this area thus reflects and fuels the myths around sexual violence against men, particularly the belief that a man cannot be (technically and legally) raped by a woman, even if there are unwanted sexual advances on his penis.5 Legislation aside, however, researchers and advocates do describe such an act as male rape due to the lack of consent on the part of the victim.
Of course, ideations of shame and stigma surrounding male sexual assault are so prevalent that accurate data on sexual violence against men is hard to garner, as many boys and men are reluctant to report their assault.6 Data from the Crime Survey for England and Wales (2018)7 reveal that 3.8% of men and 20.3% of women have experienced sexual assault since the age of 16. For men specifically, 0.3% experience rape, while the majority of offences (3.7%) were related to unwanted touching or sexual exposure.8 Information and statistics from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) in the United States report similar figures; 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls will experience sexual assault before adulthood.9 Moreover, 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives, while 1 in 45 men will be forced to penetrate a partner during their lifetime. Further statistics from the NSVRC show that gay and bisexual men are around twice as likely as heterosexual men to be victims of sexually violent acts other than rape during their lifetime.10 And, as noted already, these figures are likely to underestimate cases of sexual abuse against men owing to high rates of non-reporting, especially given the double stigma gay and bisexual men face both as victims and because of their sexuality.
One of the myths around sexual violence against men is the false equation between male rape and homosexuality: men who are victims or men who rape other men are presumed to be gay. The reality is that violent sexual assaults are also committed by heterosexual men against other men (and women) as a demonstration of power, control, and strength. Male rape has nothing to do with same-sex desire. Nor are male rape victims predominantly homosexual men. Samantha Hodge and David Canter (1998) have examined cases of sexual violence against men committed by both homosexual and heterosexual perpetrators. They conclude that āthe myth that male sexual assault is extremely rare and only affects homosexual males can be rightfully challengedā (1998: 239). Aliraza Javaid draws a similar conclusion, stating that ādocumented research confirms that men do rape other men as a way to boost, preserve and execute āhegemonic masculinityā; that is, the male sexual offender seeks power and control over their subordinate, powerless victimā (2016: 284). This is echoed by A. Nicholas Groth and Ann Burgess (1980), who describe such an act as one which, through the emasculation of the victim, an enhanced sense of dominant masculinity may be evoked for the offender.
Maleāmale rape is therefore surrounded in taboo and, consequently, silence. Sandesh Sivakumaran highlights that it has not received much attention either in research or in the public conscience as it is āa cause without a voiceā (2005: 1280). He describes how maleāmale rape is ātaintedā by homophobia and societyās unwillingness to give attention to sexual acts between two men, whether desired or unwanted. Recently, Javaid has conducted extensive work in the area of male rape (2016, 2019), as well as focussing on gay male rape (2017). He notes that female rape has, rightly, been given significant attention in sociological and criminological spheres, but the lack of research about male rape demonstrates that it is still surrounded by taboo. This taboo, Javaid argues, reinforces hegemonic masculinity and patriarchal power relations (2016). He states that the silence surrounding sexual assault against men (perpetrated by either men or women) is part of a wider strategy aimed at keeping a manās masculinity intact:
the act of rape emasculates men, they can at the same time remain silent to prevent their masculinity from being questioned by societies, the police, and the criminal justice system. This form of masculine conduct could keep gay male rape victimsā masculinities intact, which arguably can help one to explain and understand their silence.
(Javaid, 2017: 281)
With the exception of a relatively small number of scholars such as Sivakumaran (2005), Graham (2006), Abdullah-Khan (2008), Weiss (2010), Coxell and King (2010), and Javaid (2016, 2017, 2018, 2019), the lack of social attention to sexual violence against men is also mirrored in academia. Research in the area of male rape initially focussed on prison settings and then began to explore gay male rape (Eigenberg, 1989; Knowles, 1999; Javaid, 2016, 2017). There are still lacunae in the research pertaining to wider issues around femaleāmale rape, maleāmale rape and femaleāfemale rape (Sivakumaran, 2005). The dearth of research in these areas attests to the widespread myths and misunderstandings about men as sexual violence victims, as well as a lack of attention to same-sex acts of sexual violence. Ruth Graham notes how āthe academic discourse on male rape must necessarily construct male bodies as violable and subject to sexual harmā (2006: 188). In this sense, hegemonic masculinity engineers a reluctance to admit male vulnerability. According to Graham, the myths, stigma, and shame associated with sexual abuse have begun to receive greater attention in social research, and there have been attempts to undo some of the misperceptions that sustain rape culture. However, she notes, āthose discussing male rape in the present may be repeating theoretical mistakes that have already been made by those who discuss the sexual assault of womenā (2006: 192). These mistakes include seeing men as unexpected and exceptional victims given that sexual assault is a highly gendered crime, alongside limited and misleading definitions of rape and heteronormative assumptions about sexuality. Within the area of biblical studies, feminist scholars have been redressing the mistakes made by traditional biblical interpretation that has silenced the victims. While much feminist scholarship on gender violence in the Bible has focussed on the rape and sexual abuse of women, scholars have started to look at the texts relating attempted male rape more frequently, particularly in recent years (Stiebert, 2019a; Harding, 2018; Exum, 2016 [1993]; Scholz, 2010); this will be further explored in Chapter 2.
Why is there so much shame and stigma about male rape?
According to bell hooks (2000), menās emancipation is part of feminism, as men are also harmed by normative gender roles and patriarchy. The dominant culture of masculinity sets out very narrowly defined social and cultural expectations of being a boy or man. The rules for being a man are learnt from a very early age, then are enforced and regulated through bullying and shame. In The Little #MeToo Book for Men (2018), Mark Greene describes the rules as āman box cultureā. According to Greene, the codes and expectations for men are as follows:
- āReal menā donāt show our emotions.
- āReal menā are heterosexual, hyper-masculine, and sexually dominant.
- āReal menā never ask for help.
- āReal menā always have the last word.
- āReal menā are providers, never caregivers.
- āReal menā are economically secure.
- āReal menā are physically and emotionally tough.
- āReal menā are sports focused.
(2018: 25)
To be a āreal manā in this context is highly toxic. For āreal menā, anything feminine is seen as a sign of weakness. Dominant hegemonic masculinity generates cultures of misogyny and homonegativity through microaggressions, verbal insults and physical abuse perpetrated against those who do not conform.
In exploring the intersections between shame and victimisation in the reporting of sexual abuse against men, Karen Weiss observes a feminisation through social and cultural narratives that surround the status of victim:
āRealā men are not supposed to be victims. In fact, a feminization of victimization is evident in the usage of derogatory labels (e.g., sissies, pansies, pussies) hurled at boys and young men who are perceived as powerless or, more broadly, as having failed to live up to masculine ideals.
(2010: 290)
Not only are men themselves victims of these highly demanding and normative gender expectations of social masculinities, but they also perpetuate these unhealthy ideals by policing and controlling others to conform to the same expectations. Hegemonic masculinity therefore suppresses menās access to wellbeing, as well as impacting on menās contact, emotional expression, friendships, and relationships. In essence, the economy of being a boy or man results in emotional bankruptcy. Hegemonic masculinity promotes attitudes, behaviours, and regulation within society and culture that all serve to perpetuate notions of men as strong, powerful, warrior-like and, consequently, the opposite of a victim. These ideals are harmful to men just as much as they are to women, resulting in concerns around male mental health, access to emotional support, and the prevention of male suicide.
As already noted briefly in the Introduction, there are a number of myths around sexual violence against men that are generated directly from hegemonic masculine ideals and connect broadly to the psychological problems experienced by male survivors of sexual abuse. The myths directly impact how survivors...
