Aunt Beckyās Levee
A dozen stories have been told about the old Dark jug. This is the true one.
Several things happened in the Dark and Penhallow clan because of it. Several other things did not happen. As Uncle Pippin said, this may have been Providence or it may have been the devil that certainly possessed the jug. At any rate, had it not been for the jug, Peter Penhallow might to-day have been photographing lions alone in African jungles, and Big Sam Dark would, in all probability, never have learned to appreciate the beauty of the unclothed female form. As for Dandy Dark and Penny Dark, they have never ceased to congratulate themselves that they got out of the affair with whole hides.
Legally, the jug was the property of Aunt Becky Dark, nĆ©e Rebecca Penhallow. For that matter, most of the Darks had been nĆ©e Penhallow, and most of the Penhallows had been nĆ©e Dark, save a goodly minority who had been Darks nĆ©e Dark or Penhallows nĆ©e Penhallow. In three generations sixty Darks had been married to sixty Penhallows. The resultant genealogical tangle baffled everybody except Uncle Pippin. There was really nobody for a Dark to marry except a Penhallow and nobody for a Penhallow to marry except a Dark. Once, it had been said, they wouldnāt take anybody else. Now, nobody else would take them. At least, so Uncle Pippin said. But it was necessary to take Uncle Pippinās speeches with a large pinch of salt. Neither the Darks nor the Penhallows were gone to seed as far as that. They were still a proud, vigorous, and virile clan who hacked and hewed among themselves but presented an unbroken front to any alien or hostile force.
In a sense, Aunt Becky was the head of the clan. In point of seniority Crosby Penhallow, who was eighty-seven when she was eighty-five, might have contested her supremacy had he cared to do so. But at eighty-seven Crosby Penhallow cared only about one thing. As long as he could foregather every evening with his old crony, Erasmus Dark, to play duets on their flutes and violins, Aunt Becky might hold the sceptre of the clan if she wanted to.
It must be admitted frankly that Aunt Becky was not particularly beloved by her clan. She was too fond of telling them what she called the plain truth. And, as Uncle Pippin said, while the truth was all right, in its place, there was no sense in pouring out great gobs of it around where it wasnāt wanted. To Aunt Becky, however, tact and diplomacy and discretion, never to mention any consideration for any oneās feelings, were things unknown. When she wanted to say a thing she said it. Consequently Aunt Beckyās company was never dull whatever else it might be. One endured the digs and slams one got oneself for the fun of seeing other people writhing under their digs and slams. As Aunt Becky knew from A to Z all the sad or fantastic or terrible little histories of the clan, no one had armour which her shafts could not penetrate. Little Uncle Pippin said that he wouldnāt miss one of Aunt Beckyās āleveesā for a dog-fight. āSheās a personality,ā Dr Harry Penhallow had once remarked condescendingly, on one of his visits home to attend some clan funeral.
āSheās a crank,ā growled Drowned John Penhallow, who, being a notorious crank himself, tolerated no rivals.
āItās the same thing,ā chuckled Uncle Pippin. āYouāre all afraid of her because she knows too much about you. I tell you, boys, itās only Aunt Becky and the likes of her that keeps us all from dry-rotting.ā
Aunt Becky had been āAunt Beckyā to everybody for twenty years. Once when a letter came to the Indian Spring post-office addressed to āMrs Theodore Darkā the new postmaster returned it marked āPerson unknown.ā Legally, it was Aunt Beckyās name. Once she had had a husband and two children. They were all dead long ago ā so long ago that even Aunt Becky herself had practically forgotten them. For years she had lived in her two rented rooms in The Pinery ā otherwise the house of her old friend, Camilla Jackson, at Indian Spring. Many Dark and Penhallow homes would have been open to her, for the clan were never unmindful of their obligations, but Aunt Becky would have none of them. She had a tiny income of her own and Camilla, being neither a Dark nor a Penhallow, was easily bossed.
āIām going to have a levee,ā Aunt Becky told Uncle Pippin one afternoon when he had dropped in to see her. He had heard she was not very well. But he found her sitting up in bed, supported by pillows, her broad, griddled old face looking as keen and venomous as usual. He reflected that it was not likely there was much the matter with her. Aunt Becky had taken to her bed before now when she fancied herself neglected by her clan.
Aunt Becky had held occasional gatherings that she called āleveesā ever since she had gone to live at The Pinery. It was her habit to announce in the local papers that Mrs Rebecca Dark would entertain her friends on such and such an afternoon. Everybody went who couldnāt trump up a watertight excuse for not going. They spent two hours of clan gossip, punctuated by Aunt Beckyās gibes and the malice of her smile, and had a cup of tea, sandwiches, and several slices of cake. Then they went home and licked their wounds.
āThatās good,ā said Uncle Pippin. āThings are pretty dull in the clan. Nothing exciting has happened for a long time.ā
āThis will be exciting enough,ā said Aunt Becky. āIām going to tell them something ā not everything ā about whoās to get the old Dark jug when Iām gone.ā
āWhew!ā Uncle Pippin was intrigued at once. Still he did not forget his manners. āBut why bother about that for a while? Youāre going to see the century out.ā
āNo, Iām not,ā said Aunt Becky. āRoger told Camilla this morning that I wouldnāt live this year out. He didnāt tell me, the person most interested, but I wormed it out of Camilla.ā
It was a shock to Uncle Pippin and he was silent for a few moments. He had had a death-bell ringing in his ear for three days, but he had not connected it with Aunt Becky. Really, no one had ever thought of Aunt Becky dying. Death, like life, seemed to have forgotten her. He didnāt know what to say.
āDoctors often make mistakes,ā he stammered feebly.
āRoger doesnāt,ā said Aunt Becky grimly. āIāve got to die, I suppose. Anyhow, I might as well die. Nobody cares anything about me now.ā
āWhy do you say that, Becky?ā said Camilla, betraying symptoms of tears. āIām sure I do.ā
āNo, you donāt really. Youāre too old. Weāre both too old to care really for anybody or anything. You know perfectly well that in the back of your mind youāre thinking, āAfter she dies Iāll be able to have my tea strong.ā Thereās no use blinking the truth or trying to cover it up with sentiment. Iāve survived all my real friends.ā
āCome, come, what about me?ā protested Uncle Pippin.
Aunt Becky turned her cronelike old grey head towards him.
āYou!ā she was almost contemptuous. āWhy, youāre only sixty-four. I was married before you were born. Youāre nothing but an acquaintance if it comes to that. Hardly even a relative. You were only an adopted Penhallow, remember. Your mother always vowed you were Ned Penhallowās son, but I can tell you some of us had our doubts. Funny things come in with the tide, Pippin.ā
This, reflected Uncle Pippin, was barely civil. He decided that it was not necessary to protest any more friendship for Aunt Becky.
āCamilla,ā snapped Aunt Becky, āI beg of you to stop trying to cry. Itās painful to watch you. I had to send Ambrosine out because I couldnāt put up with her mewing. Ambrosine cries over everything alike ā a death or a spoiled pudding. But one excuses her. Itās about the only fun sheās ever got out of life. I am ready to die. Iāve felt almost everything in life there is to feel ā ay, Iāve drained my cup. But I mean to die decently and in order. Iām going to have one last grand rally. The date will be announced in the paper. But if you want anything to eat youāll have to bring it with you. Iām not going to bother with that sort of thing on my death-bed.ā
Uncle Pippin was genuinely disappointed. Living alone as he did, subsisting on widowerās fare, the occasional meals and lunches he got in friendsā houses meant much to him. And now Aunt Becky was going to ask people to come and see her and wasnāt going to give them a bite. It was inhospitable, thatās what it was. Everybody would be resentful, but everybody would be there. Uncle Pippin knew his Darks and his Penhallows. Every last one of them would be keen to know who was to get the old Dark jug. Everybody would think he or she ought to have it. The Darks had always resented the fact of Aunt Becky owning it, anyhow. She was only a Penhallow. The jug should be the property of a born Dark. But old Theodore Dark had expressly left it to his dearly beloved wife in his will, and there you were. The jug was hers to do as she liked with. And nobody in eighty-five years had ever been able to predict what Aunt Becky would do about anything.
Uncle Pippin climbed into what he called his āgigā and drove away behind his meek white horse down the narrow, leisurely red side-road that ran from Indian Spring to Bay Silver. There was a grin of enjoyment on his little, wrinkled face with its curious resemblance to a shrivelled apple, and his astonishingly young, vivid blue eyes twinkled. It would be fun to watch the antics of the clan over the jug. The thorough-going, impartial fun of one who was not vitally concerned. Uncle Pippin knew he had no chance of getting the jug. He was only a fourth cousin at best, even granting the dubious paternity about which Aunt Becky had twitted him.
āIāve a hunch that the old lady is going to start something,ā said Uncle Pippin to his white nag.
II
In spite of the fact that no refreshments were to be served, every Dark and every Penhallow, by birth, marriage or adoption, who could possibly get to Aunt Beckyās āleveeā was there. Even old rheumatic Christian Dark, who hadnāt been anywhere for years, made her son-in-law draw her through the woods behind The Pinery on a milk-cart. The folding doors between Aunt Beckyās two rooms were thrown open, the parlour was filled with chairs, and Aunt Becky, her eyes as bright as a catās, was ready to receive her guests, sitting up in her big old walnut bed under its tent canopy hung with yellowed net. Aunt Becky had slept in that bed ever since she was married and intended to die in it. Several women of the tribe had their eye on it, and each had hoped she would get it, but just now nobody thought of anything but the jug.
Aunt Becky had refused to dress up for her guests. She wasnāt going to be bothered, she told Camilla ā they werenāt really worth it. So she received them regally with a faded old red sweater pinned tightly around her shrunken throat and her grey hair twisted into a hard knot on the crown of her head. But she wore her diamond ring and she had made the scandalized Ambrosine put a little rouge on her cheeks. āItās no more than decent at your age,ā protested Ambrosine.
āDecencyās a dull dog,ā retorted Aunt Becky. āI parted company with it long ago. You do as youāre bid, Ambrosine Winkworth, and youāll get your reward. Iām not going to have Uncle Pippin saying, āThe old girl used to have good colour.ā Dab it on good and thick, Ambrosine. None of them will imagine they can bully me as they probably would if they found me looking lean and washed-out. My golly, Ambrosine, but Iām looking forward to this afternoon. Itās the last bit of fun Iāll have this side of eternity and Iām going to lap it up, Ambrosine. Harpies all of āem, coming here just to see what pickings theyāre going to get. Ay, Iām going to make them squirm.ā
The Darks and Penhallows knew this perfectly well, and every new arrival approached the walnut bed with a secret harrowing conviction that Aunt Becky would certainly ask any especially atrocious question that occurred to her. Uncle Pippin had come early, provided with several wads of his favourite chewing-gum, and selected a seat near the folding doors ā a point of vantage from which he could see everybody and hear everything Aunt Becky said. He had his reward.
āAy, so youāre the man who burned his wife,ā remarked Aunt Becky to Stanton Grundy, a long, lean man with a satiric smile who was an outsider, long ago married to Robina Dark, whom he had cremated. Her clan had never forgiven him for it, but Stanton Grundy was insensitive and only smiled hollowly at what he regarded as an attempted witticism.
āAll this fuss over a jug worth no more than a few dollars at most,ā he said scornfully, sitting down beside Uncle Pippin.
Uncle Pippin shifted his wad of gum to the other side of his mouth and manufactured a cheerful lie instantly for the credit of the clan.
āA collector offered Aunt Becky a hundred dollars for it four years ago,ā he said impressively. Stanton Grundy was impressed, and to hide it remarked that he wouldnāt give ten dollars for it.
āThen, why are you here?ā demanded Uncle Pippin.
āTo see the fun,ā returned Mr Grundy coolly. āThis jug business is going to set everybody by the ears.ā
Uncle Pippin nearly swallowed his gum in his indignation. What right had this outsider, who was strongly suspected of being a Swedenborgian, whatever that was, to amuse himself over Dark whimsies and Penhallow peculiarities? It was quite in order for him, Pippin Penhallow, baptized Alexander, to do it. He was one of the tribe, however crookedly. But that a Grundy from God knew where should come for such a purpose made Uncle Pippin furious. Before he could administer catisgation, however, another arrival temporarily diverted his attention from the outrageous Grundy.
āBeen having any more babies on the Kingās Highway?ā Aunt Becky was saying to poor Mrs Paul Dark, who had brought her son into a censorious world in a Ford coupĆ© on the way to the hospital. Uncle Pippin had voiced the general clan feeling on that occasion when he said gloomily,
āSad mismanagement somewhere.ā
A little snicker drifted over the room, and Mrs Paul made her way to a chair with a burning face. But interest had already shifted from her to Murray Dark, a handsome middle-aged man who was shaking Aunt Beckyās hand.
āWell, well, come to get a peep at Thora, hey? Sheās here ā over there beyond Pippin and that Grundy man.ā
Murray Dark stalked to a chair, reflecting that when you belonged to a clan like this you really lived a dogās life. Of course he had come to see Thora. Everybody knew that, including Thora herself. Murray cared not a hoot about the Dark jug, but he did care tremendously about a chance to look at Thora. He did not have too many of them. He had been in love with Thora ever since the Sunday he had first seen her sitting in the church, the bride of Christopher Dark ā drunken neāer-do-well Chris Dark, with his insidious charm that no girl had ever been able to resist. All the clan knew it, too, but there had never been any scandal. Murray was simply waiting for Chris to pass out. Then he would marry Thora. He was a clever, well-to-do farmer and he had any amount of patience. In time he would attain his heartās desire ā though sometimes he wondered a little uneasily how long that devil of a Chris would hang on. That family of Darks had such damnā good constitutions. They could liv...