Diversity in Family Life

Gender, Relationships and Social Change

Ruspini, Elisabetta, Elisabetta Ruspini

• Publisher: Policy Press
• Year: 2013
• Print ISBN: 9781447300939
• eBook ISBN: 9781447320555
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Gender Studies
• Index: Social Sciences

As new forms of family and 'non-traditional' families grow in number, there is a need to understand these 'new' arrangements and models of parenthood.

This ground-breaking book discusses, using a comparative and a sociological perspective, examples of the relationship between changing gender identities and processes of family formation in the Western experience. It aims to show that, in the 21st century, it is possible to form a family without sex, without children, without a shared home, without a partner, without a working husband, without a heterosexual orientation or without a biological' sexual body.

'Diversity in family life' will help readers discover and understand the characteristics, advantages and drawbacks of these new models of parenthood, and their political implications in terms of social movements, characteristics and demands.

Section Two

Gender change and challenges to traditional forms of parenthood

CHAPTER FOUR

Stay-at-home husbands and fathers

Stay-at-home men

A stay-at-home husband (also ‘househusband’) may be defined as a husband that chooses to stay at home instead of working at a career. A stay-at-home father (alternatively, ‘stay-at-home dad’, ‘house dad’, ‘house-spouse’) is a term used to describe a father who is the main carer of the children and is the homemaker of the household.

As we will see in the next section, the number of househusbands and stay-at-home fathers has been gradually increasing, especially in Western nations. Although the role is still subject to many gender stereotypes,¹ and men may have difficulties accessing parenting benefits, communities and services targeted at mothers, it is becoming more socially acceptable. The roles offer economic benefits to the family, and enable strong emotional development for the children. However, in some regions of the world, the stay-at-home husband/father remains culturally unacceptable.

Stay-at-home husbands and fathers are of interest to researchers and service providers for several reasons. To begin with, they are a testimony to the changes occurring in gender identities. Househusbands have broken with traditional gender role norms and, as a result, must carve out their own paternal and masculine identities within spaces traditionally considered feminine (Doucet, 2004, 2006). This is a challenge for social theory and social research. Home and private life have been significant in the formation of modern female identities (Giles, 2004). As seen in the introductory chapter to this book, the transformation from household artisan production to early industrial production was grounded in the creation of an outside-the-home male wage worker who was economically dependent on a boss, but also functioned as an independent economic provider for dependent wives and families. Consequentially, men became dependent on women’s care and support. Employment has for a long time played a key role in the construction and reproduction of masculinity. For example, traditionally male jobs became a proving ground for masculinity, and organisational structures and practices provided the means to demonstrate one’s virility (see, eg, Iacuone, 2005). Women’s care and support in the household were seen as necessary pillars of that identity. Thus, househusbands are challenging the ‘traditional’ (modern) relationship between labour outside the home, production and masculinity.

However, studies on the impact of father involvement in childcare on later child outcomes confirm the importance of early paternal investment both in caring and in improving opportunities for women (see, among others, Pruett, 2000; Lamb, 2004; US Department of Health and Human Services, 2004; Doucet, 2006). The growing number of stay-at-home fathers and men’s increased use of parental and family leave provide further evidence of the evolving role of men in the provision of childcare. This also suggests that paternal care of children has become an increasingly important childcare resource for families.

The social, educational, cultural and political implications that can be drawn from the increasing number of men who become househusbands and stay-at-home fathers, either by necessity or choice, deserves much more scientific attention. They do not represent any of the key ‘alpha’ masculinities (complicit, subordinate or hegemonic) detailed by Connell (1987, 1995) and Kimmel (1995, 1996;see also Ruspini, 2011a), but rather reflect processes ‘of internal complexity and contradiction’ as well as the‘dynamics’ of changing and maturing masculinities (Connell, 2000, p 13). Father involvement is a multifaceted, complex and dynamic experience. Therefore, although fathers have many common experiences when parenting their children, they also face many unique challenges associated with their social background, their relationship with their own mothers and fathers, and changing social conditions, such as separation and divorce.

Starting from these premises, this chapter will try to answer a number of questions:‘What does it mean, today, to be a househusband?’;‘What leads these men to take on that role?’; ‘Does this choice affect their sense of masculinity and, if so, how?’; and ‘What are the pros and cons of this situation?’. Men who perform care work have chosen a work that is downgraded and de-professionalised, thus potentially creating low social esteem. This raises the question of how men who nevertheless opt for care can reconcile this transgression with the norms of hegemonic masculinity (Connell, 1995) and, consequently, if and how the gendered relations, norms and practices of care work are being transformed when men participate in these activities.

Research on stay-at-home husbands and fathers

While the changes in women’s roles have been widely debated in the last 10 years (both in women’s thinking and in that of men), those relating to men have been much less discussed. Moreover, despite the growing attention to male involvement in domestic labour, the literature on stay-at-home men is still limited. If research on stay-athome masculinities and fatherhood has increased over the last several decades, research comparing the gender-typed characteristics and gender role attitudes of stay-at-home and employed fathers is still in its infancy (Fischer and Anderson, 2012).

Existing research has, however, underlined some interesting trends. First, although the number of stay-at-home dads still pales in comparison to women who make that choice, these numbers are growing. According to the US Bureau of the Census (Current Population Survey data),² in 1994, there were 76,000 stay-at-home dads out of a total of 4.5 million stay-at-home parents. Strikingly, that number just about doubled over the next decade: in 2008, an estimated 140,000 married fathers worked in the home as their children’s primary carers while their wives worked outside of the home to provide for the family.³ In the UK, data compiled by the Office for National Statistics show that in 2011, 62,000 men whose partners go out to work were classed as ‘economically inactive’, compared to just 21,000 in 1996. A survey from the insurance company Aviva⁴ suggested that there could be 600,000 men, 6% of British fathers, in that role, a further rise from the Office for National Statistics figures, which recorded 192,000 British men as the primary carer for children in 2009 and 119,000 in 1993. The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS, 2006)⁵ shows that in September 2003, some 47,500 fathers (or 29% of those who were not employed) stated that they did not want to work. Of the 1.7 million couple families with children aged 0–14 years in June 2003, there were 57,900 families (or 3.4%) where the father was not employed while the mother worked either full-time or part-time. A further 108,100 couples with children aged less than 15 years (or 6.3%) had neither parent working. Other empirical evidence from Statistics Canada based on data from the Labour Force Survey (LFS)⁶ shows that in 2009, there were approximately 53,765 stay-at-home fathers in Canada, compared to 20,610 in 1976 (Hoffman, 2008). And while the number of stay-at-home mothers in mother–father families has decreased dramatically – from 1.5 million in 1976 to 436, 995 in 2009 – the number of stay-at-home fathers has almost tripled since the mid-1970s. In 1976, stay-at-home fathers represented only 1% of all stay-at-home parents, while in 2009, 12% of the stay-at-home parents in Canadian mother–father families were men.

These trends seem to indicate that the number of stay-at-home men is likely to increase, and that might be at least partially a result of evolving attitudes about gender roles in parenting. As Edwards (2006) argues, masculinity is now less defined through work: the notion that a man’s occupation is central to his identity is now in question. But there are also some other factors that may account for some of the increase. One is the impact of economic fluctuations on the employment prospects of men and fathers. Unemployment, combined with the rising costs of day care and preschool, make a stay-at-home parent more appealing to some families.

Another factor that may explain some of the increase is the growing phenomenon of the primary earner female partner (Sussman and Bonnell, 2006). One of the most dramatic transformations in the labour market in recent decades has been the growth in the labour force participation of married women. As a result, dual-earner, husband-andwife families are quickly becoming the norm, shattering the image of the ‘traditional’ family in which the husband is the only and primary breadwinner. One notable corollary has been an increase in wives earning more than their husbands (Winkler, 1998). When families wish to have one parent at home while children are young, the decision about which parent stays at home has always been partly based on which partner has the highest salary, benefits and job security.

Of course, if more men (and their female partners) are open to the idea of fathers taking primary responsibility for household management, that also requires explanation. Among the most common reasons is that the wife may have, as we just said, a better job or pay packet and it is more feasible for him to leave his job than it is for her. Some men are also quite comfortable taking up the duties of a homemaker. The qualitative study by Rochlen et al (2008) found that most of the stay-at-home fathers in their sample really enjoyed staying at home with the children.⁷ Also, Doucet and Merla (2007), in a study about the experiences of stay-at-home fathering in two countries (Canada and Belgium),⁸ found that the desire to be the primary carer was most often listed as the reason for choosing to stay at home.

Some couples choose to have the father stay at home to undertake principal caring roles for children. The previously mentioned study by Rochlen et al (2008) emphasised two aspects of wanting to become a primary carer: both the mother and father believe that one parent should stay at home with the children rather than put them in day care; and both believe that the father is more suitable for the stay-at-home role. For other couples, circumstances such as unemployment or an inability to participate in the labour force (eg through disability) may necessitate the father staying at home.

Doucet’s (2004) study of 70 stay-at-home fathers in Canada⁹ found three dominant patterns that characterised the men’s home–work balance. The first cluster involved fathers who had achieved financial and professional success and wanted to take a break from working and/or were seeking to move into another line of work once their children were in school. The overarching commonality among this group of fathers was that they seemed to have achieved their career goals and were looking for other forms of fulfilment, one of which was caring for their children as well as alternative work or leisure interests (eg travel, sports, writing). The second pattern was exhibited by men who were taking a break from working (on extended parental leave), were in transition between jobs or were planning to or were currently enrolled in college or university programmes for further education or training. The latter group also included men who had lost their jobs, who were debilitated as a result of a serious illness and who described themselves as having been stuck in dead-end jobs. A third group involved men who were working part-time, had flexible hours and could work from a home office, or were employees in a business owned by their wife or partner.

It is important to remember that stay-at-home men and fathers are not always unemployed and that the ‘stay-at-home’ period may be a temporary one. In another qualitative study of 118 primary carer Canadian fathers (Doucet, 2006), roughly half of the stay-at-home fathers were actually working to some extent – either part-time or with flexible hours from home.¹⁰ Finally, a very recent study (Fischer and Anderson, 2012) of a group of stay-at-home (n = 35) and employed (n = 49) fathers shows that compared to employed fathers, stay-at-home fathers reported less traditional gender role attitudes. Wanting to be a stay-at-home father was rated the most important reason for staying at home. The more important the female partner was in influencing the decision to stay at home, the lower the levels of masculine characteristics and the more enjoyment men reported in being a stay-at-home father (see also Coltrane and Ishii-Kuntz, 1992; Greenstein, 1996). Fischer and Anderson (2012) conclude by saying that future research should focus on comparisons of paternal involvement among stay-at-home and other fathers, the reasons men decide to become stay-at-home fathers or not, and the factors that influence those reasons, such as their partners’ attitudes and experiences with prejudice and discrimination.

Male carers, couples and children

As just seen, the reasons for the decision to become a stay-at-home husband may emerge when a couple decide to have a child. Many parents realise that parenting (father’s and mother’s) support is vital during the children’s growing years.

A growing literature has led awareness of the importance of fathers to the development of their children (Coltrane, 1996; Allen and Daly, 2002; Lamb, 2004). That role seems to be especially important for children from disadvantaged backgrounds (Burgess, 2005). There is a substantial body of research literature documenting the positive benefits fathers bring to the lives of both their male and female children (see, eg, Snarey and Vaillant, 2002). A number of studies suggest that children of fathers who are involved, nurturing and playful develop better linguistic and cognitive capacities and experience better educational outcomes than the children of uninvolved fathers. Fathers also have an important role to play in their children’s literacy development. Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning and academic achievement among adolescents (Pruett, 2000; Lamb, 2004; Rosenberg and Bradford, 2006; Marsiglio and Roy, 2012). There is also evidence that schoolchildren with involved fathers have higher levels of self-control, self-esteem and social skills (Amato and Rivera, 1999). A longitudinal (30-year) study of teen mothers and their children (Foley and Furstenberg, 1999) provides strong evidence that fathers have a significant impact on the physical and mental health of their children. The study found two pathways through which father relationships in adolescence may benefit their children in adulthood. Both male and female children who felt close to a father in adolescence were significantly more likely to report better physical and mental health outcomes at age 27 net of their physical and mental health when they were teenagers (Foley and Furstenberg, 1999). Another longitudinal study (Sarkadi et al, 2008) shows that father engagement reduces the frequency of behavioural problems in boys and psychological problems...

Table of contents

• Coverpage
• Titlepage
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction: Gender, family and social change: from modernity to the Millennial generation
• Section One: Gender change and challenges to intimacy and sexual relations
• Section Two: Gender change and challenges to traditional forms of parenthood
• Conclusions: what can we learn?
• Glossary of key concepts