Loneliness Updated

Recent research on loneliness and how it affects our lives

Ami Rokach

• Publisher: Taylor & Francis
• Year: 2013
• Print ISBN: 9780415623254
• eBook ISBN: 9781317981527
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Mental Health in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

"To be alone is to be different. To be different is to be alone, and to be in the interior of this fatal circle is to be lonely. To be lonely is to have failed" (Susan Schultz, 1976)

Loneliness carries a significant social stigma, as lack of friendship and social ties is socially undesirable, and social perceptions of lonely people are generally unfavourable. Lonely people often have very negative self-perceptions, believing that the inability to establish social ties is due to personal inadequacies or socially undesirable attributes.

This book is divided into three parts. The first part reviews loneliness in general, describing what it is and how it affects us. The second part examines loneliness throughout the life cycle, analysing how it affects us in childhood, adulthood and as we age. The final part explores the connection between loneliness and other conditions such as arthritis, eating disorders and depression.

Loneliness Updated offers the latest research on how loneliness can affect us in our daily lives, and how it is expressed as we travel through life from childhood to old age. It will be a highly interesting read for scholars, students and researchers of clinical psychology, particularly those interested in further exploring the effects and consequences of loneliness.

This book was originally published as a special issue of The Journal of Psychology.

Loneliness Updated: An Introduction

The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.

—Thomas Wolfe

CHANCES ARE that you would disclose a sorry family history, medical problems, and even depression, but few would openly admit to being lonely. Susan Schultz (1976) poignantly wrote that “To be alone is to be different. To be different is to be alone, and to be in the interior of this fatal circle is to be lonely. To be lonely is to have failed” (p. 15). There is a stigma to being lonely. The public and therefore us researchers seem to not look favorably on anyone who admits to suffer its pain. When I present, or teach, and ask my audience whether there is anyone in the group who has never experienced loneliness, no one raises a hand. When I further inquire whether anyone is lonely now—dead silence. No one, in my 30 years of researching this topic, has ever had the courage to admit, in public, that he or she is lonely. Loneliness carries a significant social stigma, as lack of friendship and social ties are socially undesirable, and the social perceptions of lonely people are generally unfavorable. Lonely people often have very negative self-perceptions, and the inability to establish social ties suggest that the person may have personal inadequacies or socially undesirable attributes (Lau & Gruen, 1992).

Loneliness has become an almost permanent and all-too-familiar way of life to millions of North Americans: the single people, divorced individuals, adolescents, housewives, and the scores of people who call suicide prevention centers and hot lines. It is so widespread and aversive, that a billion-dollar loneliness industry has been developed to meet the desire of those who do not know what to do about their loneliness (Rokach, 1988). The loneliness business includes videotaping clubs, health spas, self-help books and mate-finding agencies and is an extremely fast-growing business. It tempts us with an array of relational possibilities, social-skills upgrading, and semiforced joined activities. Many lonely people join the ride in an attempt to become unlonely and frequently end up more hopeless than they were when they started. Dating online and the explosive growth of Facebook are but two attempts at creating virtual communities that for many may replace flesh-and-blood friends.

Ours is the age of relationships. We tend to believe in the uniqueness, importance, and availability of relating to others, thinking that we know how to conquer the barriers against closeness that we erect. Whereas in the past, work was seen as the valued solution to self-fulfillment, today it is relationships that appear to be the main—if not the only—means by which self-esteem can be affirmed. A paradox is thus created where on the one hand we yearn for close intimate relationships, and on the other hand our social conditions are not conducive to the development of human relations. Our life style in the dawn of the 21st century both creates isolation and makes it more difficult to cope with it (Rokach, 2000). Everyone is seeking companionship, and everyone seems to be having trouble finding it. Good, close, intimate relationships have become scarce, and when scarcity occurs, there is usually somebody around to exploit it (Gordon, 1976).

Observed Friedman (2007),

Indeed the social fabric of American life is rapidly changing, in reaction to the collision of contemporary social forces, touching most of us in one way or another. Increased mobility and social isolation, the stress of a fast paced and high pressure lifestyle changes in the family unit, the impact of technology and the rise in consumerism are forces that disrupt our ability to create strong and lasting social connections (p. 3).

In today’s fast-paced ever-changing world, when virtual reality sometimes replaces the real one, people have no time or energy for establishing a connection with anything beyond the narrow frame of their own hurried lives in a culture that gives little priority to human relationships and that rewards nothing but the individual acquisition of power and money (Carter, 1995).

Loneliness is a prevalent, common, and disconcerting social phenomenon (Cacioppo and Patrick, 2008). Recent estimates suggest that up to 32% of adults experience loneliness and that up to 7% report feeling intense loneliness (see Hawkley et al., 2010). It is clear that all of us wish to avoid experiencing it. But what is that experience we dread so much? While some writers describe loneliness as a specific and unique pain, an undifferentiated stressor, others view loneliness as a response to various needs, circumstances, and situations and accordingly finely differentiate it into several types of loneliness. Although such differentiation may be useful as an intellectual tool, these types are artificial. They conceive of loneliness as a unified experience and, in so doing, fail to capture the complexity of this experience.

Cacioppo et al. (2006) suggested that–just like physical pain, which, while it is unpleasant, has a protective function and serves as an alarm bell to guard against damage to the organism–loneliness is a social pain that is triggered by disconnection from others, from the group to which the human individual belongs and that can assure us of food, defense, social connection, and support in the struggle to survive (as it did especially for our ancestors). Based on the various theoretical sources and my own research, I proposed three distinguishing characteristics of all loneliness experiences:

1. Loneliness is a universal phenomenon that is fundamental to being human (see also Peplau & Perlman, 1982; Wood, 1986).

2. Although shared by all of us periodically, loneliness is in essence a subjective experience that is influenced by personal and situational variables (see also Rook, 1984).

3. Loneliness, which is a complex and multifaceted experience, is always very painful, severely distressing, and individualistic (see also Moustakas, 1961; Rokach & Brock, 1997).

Since Moustakas wrote, in 1961, his seminal book on loneliness, there has been growing research and academic interest in this common experience. All of us experience it, but only in the past 2 decades has there been an open quest to understand it and learn how to cope with it.

The present, special issue, includes a wide variety of interesting, creative, enlightening, and even groundbreaking research on loneliness and its relationships to other human conditions.

This special issue is divided into three parts. The first includes articles that review loneliness in general; the second examines loneliness and its effects and expression throughout the life cycle; and the third examines the connection between loneliness and other conditions.

Russell, Cutrona, McRae, and Gomez present the cognitive discrepancy model, which predicts that loneliness will be experienced when a person perceives that his or her social involvement is less than what that person would want it to be. Ben-Zur looked at the interaction of loneliness and optimism and how they affect the well-being of people with various marital status, that is, married, divorced, and widowed people. Zysberg suggested that emotional intelligence may contribute to our understanding of, and possibly coping with, loneliness. Wright examined the question whether people “at the top” of their organization are lonelier than the rest of us. She discovered that they are not. Managers were no more or less lonely than their non-manager counterparts.

In the second part were included studies that examined loneliness throughout the life cycle. Sharabi, Levi, and Margalit examined the contributions of individual and familial variables for the prediction of loneliness as a developmental risk and the sense of coherence as a protective factor. Looking at children in Grades 5–6, those researchers found that family cohesion was, indeed, a protective factor as far as loneliness is concerned. Victor and Yang examined loneliness as experienced by those 15 years of age and older. It was found that those either younger than 25 years or older than 65 are the loneliest. Depression, physical health, and social involvement were associated with loneliness at different stages in life. Schinka, Van Dulmen, Bossarte, and Swahn explored the association between loneliness and suicidability of youth aged 10–14 years. Suicide among them is a growing problem and concern, and it appears that loneliness, while not the only factor, is a poignant one in contributing to the decision of youngsters to take their own lives. Segrin, Nevarez, Arroyo, and Harwood found that the loneliness of youths’ parents and the youths’ having suffered bullying were significant predictors of youth loneliness. Ruiz-Casares examined adolescents’ loneliness and solitude and found that those who were lonely enjoyed being home alone much less than those who were not lonely. Possibly, being alone increased their perception and amplified their experience of loneliness.

Loneliness of elderly individuals and its affects on their health and quality of life form a growing social concern. We have, thus, included four articles on that topic. Theeke, Goins, Moore, and Campbell examined the relationship between loneliness, depression, social support, and quality of life in chronically ill older Appalachians. Those researchers found that loneliness, as could be expected, was a significant problem for that population. Hensley, Martin, Margrett, MacDonald, Siegler, Poon, and additional researchers from the Georgia Centenarian Study examined the loneliness of Georgian centenarians, who are functionally limited and commonly experience social isolation. They found that lifetime negative events, neuroticism, and perceived competence were all significant predictors of loneliness. Ayalon, Shiovitz-Ezra, and Palgi examined the loneliness of frail elderly individuals, who commonly have a foreign aid worker looking after them. Those researchers argued that the elderly individuals, living in such conditions of physical limitations, being cared for by someone whom they do not know well, and with limited social involvement, are particularly prone to loneliness. And last, Fokkema, Gierveld, and Dykstra investigated elderly loneliness in a cross-comparative perspective. They examined the loneliness of European elderly individuals. Their study showed significant difference between levels of loneliness of elderly individuals in Northern Europe (i.e., Denmark and Switzerland) and higher loneliness levels in those in the Southern part of Europe (i.e., Greece and Spain). To understand and explain these cross-national differences, those authors examined the demographic data, socioeconomic data, health, and social network of the elderly individuals.

Our third section includes articles that examine loneliness in relation to other conditions. For instance, Kool and Geenen explored the loneliness that people afflicted with Rheumatic disease, fibromyalgia, and ankylosing spondylitis experience. Those researchers suggested that social support is highly important for the sick. Levine examined the link between loneliness and eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia). She found that negative interpersonal relationships and experiences of loneliness exacerbate eating disorders. Loneliness, negative emotions, and reduced social connection are highly significant in maintaining eating disorders. Examining loneliness and depression, Vanhalst, Luyckx, Raes, and Goossens explored whether rumination functioned as a mediator or moderator in the relationship between two types of loneliness (the relationship with parents and those with peers) and depressive symptoms. They found that rumination partially mediated between peer-related loneliness and depression, and moderated between parent-related loneliness and depressive symptoms.

I cannot close my introductory remarks without wholeheartedly thanking all those reviewers who gave so kindly of their time, expertise, knowledge, and—mostly—their wish to help in creating the best and most highly relevant and interesting special issue.

My heartfelt thanks to the following professors:

Chris Segrin

Ron Downey

Amiram Raviv

Malka Margalit

Tricia Orzeck

Liora Findler

Sid Strauss

Mary Wells

Liat Ayalon

Sharon Shiovitz-Ezra

Laurie Theeke

David Teplin

We all hope that you will find this issue enlightening, helpful, engaging, and enriching.

Ami Rokach
Guest Editor

REFERENCES

Cacioppo, J. T., Hughes, M. E., Waite, L. J., Hawkley, L. C., & Thisted, R. A. (2006). Loneliness as a specific risk factor for depressive symptoms: Cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses. Psychology and Aging, 21, 140–151.

Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human nature and the need for social connection. New York: W. W. Norton.

Carter, B. (1995). Focusing your wide-angle lens. The Family Therapy Net worker, 19(6), 31–35.

Friedman, R. L. (2007). Widening the therapeutic lens: Sense of belonging as an integral dimension of the human experience. A dissertation submitted to the Wright Institute Graduate School.

Gordon, S. (1976). Lonely in America. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Hawkley, L. C., Thisted, R. A., Masi, C. M., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Lonelines...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Half Title page
• Dedication
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Citation Information
• List of Contributors
• Loneliness Updated: An Introduction
• Part I A Review of Loneliness
• Part II Loneliness Through The Life Cycle
• Part III Loneliness and Other Conditions and Maladaptive Behaviors
• Index