Getting Real

21 Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life

Susan Campbell

• Publisher: New World Library
• Year: 2010
• eBook ISBN:
  9781932073423
• Print ISBN:
  9780915811922

Everyone values honest communication, yet few people possess the requisite skills in both their personal and professional lives. Susan Campbell provides simple yet practical awareness practices — culled from her thirty-five-year career as a relationship coach and corporate teamwork consultant — that require individuals to ?let go? of the need to be right, safe, and certain. Such questions as ?In what areas of my life do I feel the need to lie, sugarcoat, or pretend?? help guide the reader toward self-realization. Ten truth skills teach readers to let their real personalities shine through.

INDEX

A

ambivalence, 15

See also emotions, sharing mixed

anger and resentment: ability to express, 115

fear of expressing, xv, 41-42, 169-70

angry people, belief that it is unsafe to talk back to, xv, 41-42

applause, taking one’s, 184-85

approach-avoidance. See contact-withdrawal exercise

asserting wants and don’t wants, 8-9, 105-8, 120-21

false beliefs about, 109-10

assertion: aim of, 111

allows use of imagination, 116-17

in dating, 111-14

leads to intimacy, 115-16

assertion styles, as control patterns, 118

assertiveness: unconsciously linked with discontentedness, 109-10

attachment to outcome/results, 189-90, 205

authenticity and authentic responses, 11

See also specific topics

B

being, xi

being real: ways of not, 1-2

See also specific topics

“belief gone mad”, 32-33

beliefs: filtering perceptions through strongly held, 83-84

how they happen, 30-32

impairing ability to see what is, 32-33

letting go of unconscious, 42-44

See also false beliefs

bioenergetics (yes-no) exercise, 117-18

blame, 134, 157

responding to, 131-34

See also projections

bodily sensations, observing, 39, 43

boundaries, personal, 116

marking one’s, 114-15

C

Campbell, Susan, xxii

From Chaos to Confidence: Survival Strategies for the New Workplace, 72

life history, xiii-xv

changing one’s mind, 10

child abuse, healing the wounds of, 186-88

children, sharing mixed emotions with, 173-74

choices, noticing one’s, 38

clearing rituals. See feedback rituals

resentments/appreciations (“R and A”) clearing practice

codependency, 134

communication: honest (see honesty)

true intent of, 87

unconscious static in, 80-81

communication guidelines for Getting Real, 213-...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedicaiton
• Contents
• ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
• FOREWORD
• INTRODUCTION
• ONE: How to Stop Being Right and Start Being Real
• TWO: Experiencing What Is: To Get Where You Need to Go, Be Where You Are
• THREE: Being Transparent: Freedom’s Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Hide
• FOUR: Noticing Your Intent: Is It to Relate or to Control?
• FIVE: Welcoming Feedback: It’s How We Learn
• SIX: Asserting What You Want and Don’t Want: Supporting Your Feelings with Action
• SEVEN: Taking Back Projections: Discovering Your Other Side
• EIGHT: Revising an Earlier Statement: It’s Okay to Go Out and Come In Again
• NINE: Holding Differences: Seeing Other Viewpoints Without Losing Your Own
• TEN: Sharing Mixed Emotions: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Complex
• ELEVEN: Embracing the Silence of Not Knowing: Entering the Fertile Void
• TWELVE: Serenity, Presence, and Compassion
• APPENDIX A: Resource Guide
• APPENDIX B: Communication Guidelines for Getting Real
• APPENDIX C: Description and Ordering Information for Card Games
• INDEX
• ABOUT THE AUTHOR