Mentoring Minutes

Weekly Messages to Encourage Anyone Guiding Youth

Robin Cox

• Publisher: Resource Publications
• Year: 2020
• Print ISBN:
  9781725269453
  9781725269446
• eBook ISBN:
  9781725269460
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Ministry

Mentoring Minutes: Weekly Messages to Encourage Anyone Guiding Youth aims to encourage and equip people working with youth with the knowledge, strategies, ideas, and recent youth research to build meaningful and developmental relationships with these young people. There are five daily messages for fifty-two weeks of the year which cover topics like: understanding the world of youth, self-image, the impact of technology on youth, resiliency, goal setting, effective communication, values, how to resolve conflicts using a positive mindset, the role of family and other networks in the lives of youth, and the power of mentoring. True stories of mentoring experiences of the author and others are included, along with short daily tips to promote the spirit of mentoring, and weekly quotes to inspire the reader. The hundreds of strategies and tips are arranged into general themes focused on the development of the whole person. This user-friendly book will be an encouragement to schools, youth workers, mentors, parents, grandparents, employers of young people, indeed, anyone who wishes to see young people fulfill their potential.

Week 1

Introducing mentoring

Every child deserves a champion—an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists that they become the best they can possibly be.

—Rita F. Pierson

Day 1: What is a mentor?

The word mentor has Greek origins and means a “wise guide.” Traditionally a mentor was an older, more experienced person who was responsible for coaching and mentoring a younger person to fill a particular role. In the Middle Ages, the new generation learned art, craft and commerce in a master-apprentice relationship—for example, the young apprentice learnt the art of making shoes from a shoemaker.

Today young men and women apprentices continue to learn a trade, or specific job skills from those more experienced than themselves.

A mentor takes on a more challenging role than that of a master who guides an apprentice. A mentor becomes both a friend and a role model to a mentee at a time in the young person’s life when the influence of peers is of the utmost importance. The brain is at a critical stage of development, and many young people are unsure of friends, or adult support.

Missionary and teacher Ron Lee Davis stated that the value of the mentoring process lies in watching a person of genuine wisdom and character surmount obstacles, solve problems, and overcome mistakes. The secret to profoundly influencing others as a mentor lies in honestly and transparently opening our lives to inspection warts and all.

Mentoring tip: Let your mentee discover a mentor who teaches them to stretch, handle discomfort, fulfill dreams, and move out of their comfort zone.

Day 2: Adolescents feel safe and secure

Before we can effectively mentor adolescents, we should consider and understand the world in which they live. My research, spanning about two decades, states that adolescents want to be cared for and loved unconditionally.

Here are some ideas about the meaning of taking care of a young person.

•Adolescents wish to feel safe and secure.

•The more these adolescents feel cared for, the more secure they become.

•Adolescents are surrounded by people who care for, appreciate and accept them unconditionally; people who are aware that their brains are developing; there will be mood swings and inconsistent behavior patterns.

•Adolescents value the positive influences of peers and adults they trust to encourage them to fulfill their potential.

•Adolescents are encouraged to appreciate that they have a greater chance to reach their potential when clear rules or boundaries (some of which are negotiated) are in place. They understand that, when they choose to step over these boundaries, there will be reasonable consequences.

Well-known psychologist and youth mentoring expert Professor Jean Rhodes7 wrote: “Shepherd Zeldin and colleagues reviewed more than 200 research studies and concluded that, in order to successfully pass through adolescence, youth need ‘access to safe places, challenging experiences, and caring people on a daily basis’.”

Mentoring tip: Mentoring is a commitment—you invest in the future when you move alongside a young person as their non-judgmental cheerleader.

Day 3: Adolescents feel valued

When researchers state that adolescents would like to be valued, what does this mean?

•The more adolescents feel valued, the more positive self-worth they experience.

•Adolescents want to be encouraged, and to feel they have some power and control over things that happen to them

•Adolescents who are guided by a mentor on a self-empowering journey feel valued, respected, liked, and regarded as significant resources.

•Adolescents value fun time to interact with peers and other adults. This involves the development of important social skills, made more vital as the digital age impacts their understanding of communication, body language, tone of voice, and gestures.

Kurt Hahn the great educator and founder of Outward Bound said: “There are three ways of trying to win the hearts of the young. There is persuasion, there is compulsion, and there is attraction. You can’t preach at them. That is a hook without worms. You can say, “You must volunteer,” and that is of the devil, and you can tell them, “You are needed,” and that appeal hardly ever fails.”

Mentoring tip: When your mentees feel they are valued and worth your time and effort, you are most likely to connect.

Day 4: Adolescents know their lives have meaning and purpose

What do researchers mean when they state that adolescents want to know that life has meaning and purpose?

•Adolescents can take ownership of the fact that their lives have significance.

•The more adolescents understand that there is a reason for their existence, the more significant they feel.

•Adolescents value encouragement to explore opportunities within and outside of school or the workplace, to learn and develop new skills and interests. This is especially important as their brains develop.

•Adolescents are encouraged to acquire a commitment to learning: academic success and the long-term v...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Foreword
• Preface
• The spirit of mentoring —a call to action
• Mentoring Minutes
• Week 1: Introducing mentoring
• Week 2: Different mentoring roles
• Week 3: Mentors as role models
• Week 4: Youth Culture
• Week 5: Connect with youth
• Week 6: Features of adolescents aged between eleven and nineteen
• Week 7: Mentoring Reflections
• Week 8: Goal setting—a start
• Week 9: Understand resiliency
• Week 10: Communication
• Week 11: Goal Setting—the process
• Week 12: Self-image
• Week 13: Looking at conflict
• Week 14: Mentoring Reflections
• Week 15: Assertiveness
• Week 16: Communication influences
• Week 17: Six step conflict resolution process
• Week 18: Features of adolescents aged between thirteen and fifteen
• Week 19: Dealing with stress
• Week 20: Challenging issues
• Week 21: Mentoring reflections
• Week 22: Fatigue
• Week 23: Achieve goals
• Week 24: Listen! Listen!
• Week 25: General issues
• Week 26: Relationships
• Week 27: Features of adolescents aged between sixteen and eighteen
• Week 28: Mentoring reflections
• Week 29: Managing time effectively
• Week 30: Motivate mentees
• Week 31: Family and supportive networks
• Week 32: Feedback is important
• Week 33: Coach strength-based strategies
• Week 34: More challenges
• Week 35: Mentoring Reflections
• Week 36: The difficult conversations
• Week 37: Create meaningful relationships
• Week 38: All about goals
• Week 39: Developmental relationships
• Week 40: Building self-confidence
• Week 41: A growth mindset
• Week 42: Mentoring reflections
• Week 43: Develop resilient youth
• Week 44: Empathy and trust
• Week 45: The power of connection
• Week 46: Mentoring qualities revisited
• Week 47: Champion goal achievers
• Week 48: Mentors and significant adults
• Week 49: Mentoring reflections
• Week 50: Invest in a life
• Week 51: The inspired leader
• Week 52: Final reflections
• Bibliography