Welcoming and Affirming

A Guide to Supporting and Working with LGBTQ+ Christian Youth

Leigh Finke

• Publisher: Broadleaf Books
• Year: 2020
• Print ISBN: 9781506464985
• eBook ISBN: 9781506466538
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Teaching Health & Sexuality

How should I respond when a teen comes out? Do I have to tell their parents? What does it mean to be transgender? And how do I talk to a trans youth?

These are the kinds of tough questions facing Christian communities everywhere. It's not enough for faith leaders to improvise their way through these questions. Leaders need concrete tools to navigate the LGBTQ+ landscape.

Welcoming and Affirming: A Guide to Supporting and Working with LGBTQ+ Christian Youth is one of those tools. A handbook for pastors, youth workers, church leaders, educators, and other adults in Christian settings, the book provides answers to the most pressing questions about sexuality, gender, mental health, safe sex, and more.

Written by a team of LGBTQ+ adults, Welcoming and Affirming features first-hand, personal testimonials from queer young adults who have experienced the joys and hardships of being queer and Christian. You'll walk away with a lot of insight, prepared to love, affirm, and accept the LGBTQ+ teens in your community the way God does--exactly as they are.

Welcoming and Affirming is a companion book to Queerfully and Wonderfully Made: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Christian Teens.

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Additional Resources

General LGBTQ+ Organizations and Resources

• GLAAD: glaad.org/resourcelist
• The Trevor Project: thetrevorproject.org
• Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN): glsen.org
• PFLAG: pflag.org For parents, family, and friends of LGBTQ+
• COLAGE: colage.org For families with one or more LGBTQ+ caregivers or parent
• It Gets Better Project: itgetsbetter.org
• StopBullying.gov: Information for LGBTQ+ youth
• Advocates for Youth (AFY): advocatesforyouth.org LGBTQ+ resources for professionals
• Gender and Sexualities Alliance (GSA) Network: gsanetwork.org
• UCLA LGBTQ Transgender Campus Resource Center: gbt.ucla.edu
• Queerfully and Wonderfully Made: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Christian Teenagers, Leigh Finke
• This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life. D. Owens-Reid, K. Russo, L. Stone Fish
• Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child. Michael LaSala

Bias

• Harvard Implicit Association Test: implicit.harvard.edu
• The Church of Us vs. Them: Freedom from a Faith That Feeds on Making Enemies by David E. Fitch
• Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People by Mahzarin R. Banaji
• Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahnemann
• The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias by Dolly Chugh
• Everyday Bias: Identifying and Navigating Unconscious Judgments in Our Daily Lives by Howard J. Ross
• The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt

Change/Conversion Therapy

• Conversion Therapy Research: The Trevor Project: trevorproject.org
• “The Lies and Dangers of Efforts to Change Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity” hrc.org
• “Born Perfect: The Facts about Conversion Therapy,” National Center for Lesbian Rights
• “Conversion Therapy and LGBT Youth: Update” by Williams Institute williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu
• Boy Erased: A Memoir. Garrard Conley
• Space at the Table: Conversations between an Evangelical Theologian and His Gay Son. Brad and Drew Harper
• Anything but Straight:Unmasking the Scandals and Lies behind the Ex-Gay Myth. Wayne Besen
• How to Survive a Summer. Nick White
• The Inheritance of Shame. Peter Gajdics
• The Straight Line:How the Fringe Science of Ex-Gay Therapy Reoriented Sexuality. Tom Waidzunas

Church Life and Clergy Life

• Our Strangely Warmed Hearts: Coming Out into God’s Call Karen Oliveto (2018)
• A Gracious Heresy: The Queer Calling of an Unlikely Prophet Connie Tuttle (2018)
• Being Called, Being Gay: Discernment for Ministry in the Episcopal Church Gregory Millikin (2018)
• Solus Jesus: A Theology of Resistance Emily Swan and Ken Wilson (2018)
• queering lent slats (2017)
• Struggling in Good Faith: LGBTQI Inclusion from 13 American Religious Perspectives Mychal Copeland, D’vorah Rose, Ani Zonneveld (2016)
• Reforming Sodom: Protestants and the Rise of Gay Rights Heather Rachelle White (2015)
• A Disreputable Priest: Being Gay in Anti-Gay Cultures Ian Corbett (2015)
• Does Jesus Really Love Me? A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search of God in America Jeff Chu (2014)
• Peculiar Faith: Queer Theology for Christian Witness Jay Emerson Johnson (2014)
• Queer Clergy: A History of Gay and Lesbian Ministry in American Protestantism R. W. Holmen (2014)
• Queering Christianity: Finding a Place at the Table for LGBTQI Christians Robert Everett Shore-Goss, Thomas Bohache, Patrick S. Cheng, Ramona Faye West (2013)

Homelessness

For immediate help:

• The National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929). Provides advice and resources, like shelter, transportation, assistance in finding counseling, and transitioning back to home life. Frontline staff will also act as advocates and mediators if/as needed.
• True Colors United: truecolorsunited.org (212)-461-4401 Working to end homelessness specifically among LGBTQ teens.
• National Safe Place: www.nationalsafeplace.org. Click on their “Find a Safe Place” tab to enter your zip code and find local help. To use TXT 4 HELP, text the word “safe” and your current location (city/state/zip) to 4HELP (44357). You will receive a message with the closest Safe Place site and phone number for the local youth agency. You will also have the option to text interactively with a professional for more help. It’s quick, easy, safe, and confidential.
• National Clearinghouse on Homeless Youth & Families: 833-GET-RHYi (833-438-7494) or [email protected].
• Basic Center Program: provides up to 21 days of shelter, food, clothing, and medical care; individual, group, and family counseling; crisis intervention, recreation programs, and aftercare services for teens under 18.

Resources for Youth Homelessness

• Transitional Living Program (TLP): https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/runaway-homeless-youth/programs/transitional-living Provides long-term residential services to homeless youth between the ages of 16 and 22. Housing may be in host families, supervised apartments, group homes (or maternity group homes). Offers educational and life skills programs.
• Covenant House: LGBTQ Youth and Homelessness: covenanthouse.org/homeless-issues/lgbtq-homeless-youth
• HRC’s Report on LGBTQ Youth Homelessness: www.hrc.org
• The Trevor Project’s page on Youth Homelessness: thetrevorproject.org
• “Missed Opportunities: LGBTQ Youth Homelessness in America” on Voices of Youth Count: voicesofyouthcount.org

Local LGBTQ+ Communities

• Bisexual Resource Center’s list of bi communities: biresource.org/find-a-bi-group/
• CenterLink: The Community of LGBT Centers: lgbtcenters.org Enter your address or location and find your nearest LGBT community center.
• GSA Network: Your school, or a school near you, may have a Gay-Straight Alliance. Ask a school counselor or look on gsanetwork.org to locate a registered GSA near you.
• Consortium of Higher ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Table Of Contents
• Contributors
• Foreword
• A Quick Note on Language
• A Brief Introduction
• What Is LGBTQ+, and What Does It Look Like?
• How Many Genders Are There?
• Jesus and the Eunuch
• What About Biology
• How Should I Respond When a Student Comes Out?
• How Do I Recognize My Own Biases about Sexuality and Gender?
• Is It Okay to Ask About Someone's Queeness?
• Why Does Language Matter So Much?
• What Does It Mean to be Transgender?
• What Does It Mean to Transition?
• How Do I Know if A Student is Struggling with Anxiety or Depression?
• What About Substance Abuse?
• Is It Ever Okay to Recommend Conversion Therapy?
• Understanding the Statistics on LGBTQ+ Suicide
• How Do I Know They Aren't Just Looking for Attention?
• Is It Possible This Is a Phase?
• How Should I Handle Questions about Sex?
• What about Porn?
• What If I Get It Wrong?
• Am I The Best Resource?
• Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of LGBTQ+ Teenagers
• What Should I Say About the Bible?
• What Is A Safe Space How Do I Create One?
• How Do I Respond to Bullies?
• Can I Still Have Gendered Activities?
• How Do I Find an Inclusive Sex Ed Curriculum?
• What about Bathrooms?
• How Do I Handle Camps, Lock-Ins, and Mission Trips with LGBTQ+ Students?
• What if I Only Have One LGBTQ+ Student?
• What If There Are No Queer Students In My Group?
• How Do I Recognize and Confront Religious Abuse?
• What About Bigots in the Congregation?
• How Can I Create a Culture of Affirmation in My Church?
• What Are My Reporting/Sharing Responsibilities?
• What Can I Tell the Parents?
• What If My Queer Student Isn't Safe At Home?
• What If My Student Gets Kicked Out of Their House?
• What Else Do I Need to Know?
• Glossary
• Additional Resources