The School for Wives

Molière

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9781840020045
• eBook ISBN: 9781849435871
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

Molière, undoubtedly one of the greatest writers of comedy in the history of theatre, won enormous success for The School for Wives ( L'Ecole des Femmes ) in Paris in 1662; yet this highly popular play, satirising ridiculous male attitudes to women, aroused as much hostility as critical acclaim. Arnolphe, a narrow-minded merchant hoping to marry his young ward, Agnès, is obsessed with the fear of being made a cuckold. But all his artful plans serve only to speed him towards the fate he is so desperate to avoid.
Molière himself first played the hapless merchant, and this believable character in an all too believable predicament both startled and delighted his public. This highly successful translation of The School for Wives, directed by Sir Peter Hall, ran in the West End for six months.

ACT FIVE

Scene 1

ARNOLPHE, GEORGETTE, ALAIN

ARNOLPHE

What did you have to go and kill him for?!

ALAIN

We only did as we were told. No more,

No less.

ARNOLPHE

I said to leave him bruised, not dead!

To break his back perhaps but not his head!

What a disaster! Go in. Not a word

About the cock-up that has just occurred.

It’ll be day soon. Then I’ll have to see

Just how to deal with this catastrophe.

Oh Jesus Christ, whatever’s to be done?

How do I tell Oronte I’ve killed his son?

Scene 2

HORACE

(entering.) Who’s this, then …?

ARNOLPHE

How could I …? Who might this be?

HORACE

Monsieur Arnolphe, is that you?

ARNOLPHE

Yes, it’s me.

Who’s that?

HORACE

Horace. And I was on my way

To ask a favour … You’re up early!

ARNOLPHE

EH?!

(low voice.) Is he a ghost? Has someone cast a spell?

HORACE

Monsieur, I have gone through a spot of Hell

But everything seems to have turned out well.

Better than I dared hope and what is more

Just when it seemed that I was, well, done for.

I can’t think how, but that mad bastard knew

That we’d arranged a midnight rendez-vous –

I’d reached the window, or was almost there

When somebody appeared out of thin air –

Two bodies – and they raised their hands, as though

Preparing to repulse me with a blow –

With sticks or some such. Now, this made me lose

My footing and fall – I got a nasty bruise

Or two, but I escaped a thrashing. Well,

They thought they must have hit me since I fell

(Our friend was there, as far as I could tell)

And I remained completely motionless,

Being in agony – leading them to guess

They must have murdered me. As well they might

They started panicking – in the silent night

I heard them arguing – without a light –

Accusing one another of killing me –

Still squabbling loudly – they crept out to see

If I was really dead – I acted dead –

Easy enough as it was dark – they fled

In terror – back inside they went – to flee

Did also seem the wisest course to me –

I would have done, but then Agnès came out,

All of a flutter, having learned, no doubt,

Of my “demise” from their ferocious row.

She flew to me, found me alive, and now

Her jubilation – words cannot convey

The half of it – of course there was no way

She could return – that’s what love taught her – so

She placed herself in my hands. Goes to show,

This innocent decision, what he’s done

With his outrageous schemes: she might have run

A huge risk, had I been a different sort –

I mean ensnaring her instead of caught –

But a chaste flame is burning in my heart –

We are a pair that only death can part –

I’d rather die than … no, her hold on me

Is not at all of that kind. I foresee

A problem, as my father’s bound to frown

On such a choice – his anger will die down –

We shall appease him – she’s the only wife

For me – one tries to be content in life –

She’s poor? So what? Here’s what I want from you –

And once again it’s just between us two:

I’d like to leave her with you. Could she stay

In your house, as a safe retreat, for say

Two days, perhaps more? – hidden well away

From prying eyes? She’ll surely be pursued –

Then there’s the world’s suspicious attitude

To a young girl, with a young man, alone …

You’re truly wise, and you’re the only one

I’v...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Introduction
• Characters
• Act One
• Act Two
• Act Three
• Act Four
• Act Five