eBook - ePub
Hunch
About this book
Meet Hunch. The Superhero. Coming to the rescue when you've splinters on your arse from sitting on the fence. Making decisions to save the lives of others, she must start calling the shots to save her own. Hunch is a new dark comedy about the power of gut decisions, written and performed by Kate Kennedy.
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Yes, you can access Hunch by Kate Kennedy in PDF and/or ePUB format, as well as other popular books in Literature & British Drama. We have over one million books available in our catalogue for you to explore.
Information
1. HUNCHCHELLA PART ONE
HUNCH is waiting backstage.
Music.
HUNCH accepts her award on stage.
HUNCH: I have no words.
Words are…
HUNCH opens her mouth widely to try and summon words.
Me. Me. Me.
There’s not many heroes who can say they’ve saved Hum and everyone in it.
Fasten your seatbelts, civilians. It’s Hunch.
She does the HUNCH symbol.
2. HUNCHILDA
A year earlier. UNA’s twenty-seventh birthday.
UNA: I hate occasions.
I know normal days. I know where everyone is, where they’re about to go, what time I can go to sleep. Occasions are pranks.
Birthdays are bullies.
UNA, zero years old, being born in hospital.
MUM: Why she not coming out, Larry? Pull her out with a fucking crane if you have to!
DAD: Oh she’s come out love. Oh, she’s in, she’s out. Oh. She’s in.
MUM: This is a home birth Larry, not The Vagina Open.
DAD: Love, she’s stopped halfway.
UNA: The first five years were full of too much learning. As soon as I’d get the hang of something, I was either ‘too big’ or ‘too old’ so it had to (shudder) change.
UNA, six years old. MUM whispers to NATHAN, UNA’s brother.
MUM: (To NATHAN.) You might think that the claw will grab the toy, but it’s an illusion Nathan, okay?
(To UNA.) Your brother is taking you birthday bowling, Una!
In bowling alley.
NATHAN: Just pick a ball, Una. They’re all the same – just different colours. Grab, poke, chuck – (Strike.) Wicked.
UNA can’t pick.
Just knock one over or Mum’ll make me take you to the cinema.
UNA really can’t pick. She panics over the choice. Sees the pins. Runs towards them. Fiercely kicks them one by one.
Woah – woah – woah – UNA!
UNA: School, I got used to. Wore the same thing everyday. Slept in my uniform. Ate only browns and greens.
Routine was my soulmate. And Jools.
JOOLS: Happy 13th Birthday Una Balloona! Make a wish!
UNA can’t decide.
Oh. That’s okay, I’ll do it. Let’s wish Mark from 7b discovers a razor for his bumfluff.
UNA nods.
Happy 16th Birthday Una Balloona! Make a w–!
UNA can’t decide and her tummy hurts.
Woah – are you alright? I’ll have it too and then we can both go home early.
(Phone message.) Happy 18th Birthday Una!
Sorry I’m late – I got a bit busy, with a male. I’ll be there in 12 minutes. Love you Una.
UNA: With change came chronic pain. Any exotic change to my routine, any new discovery, surprise or choice made my tummy cramp.
UNA is twenty-seven years old talking to SAM, JOOLS’ kid, from the treehouse.
Did you check?
SAM: Yes. Your mum, my mum, two stupid boys. A round yum and one present.
UNA: Nobody else there?
SAM: Nope.
UNA: Good work soldier.
SAM: Why do you have a treehouse when you’re so old?
UNA: I only look old because I’m very tall, Sam. I’m actually what’s considered quite young.
She’s stuck.
Can you help me down?
Wait. Sam.
You need to take a step to the left.
Bird shit.
SAM: Woah! A bird plop! Are you magic?
They knock on the window.
Can we come in yet?
MUM/DAD/JOOLS: Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh/she’s here, she’s here/right I’ll hide the presents –
SAM: Do they know we can see them?
UNA: Oh yeah, it’s the routine. (Pretend.) I wonder where they all are?
The door opens.
NATHAN: HAP...
Table of contents
- Front Cover
- Half-Title Page
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Contents
- 1. HUNCHCHELLA PART ONE
- 2. HUNCHILDA
- 3. HUGEST HUNCH YET
- 4. THE TRUNK
- 5. THE TESTS
- 6. THE INITIATION
- 7. THE FIRST SLEEPOVER
- 8. THE WELCOME BALL
- 9. THE FIRST DAY
- 10. THE HOUSEHUNT
- 11. THE PHOTOSHOOT
- 12. THE MIDDLE TIER
- 13. THE HUNCH DOLL
- 14. THE HUNCH FANS
- 15. THE TIPPING POINT
- 16. THE HELP
- 17. THE HIGHER TIER
- 18. THE WEDDING
- 19. THE ANNOUNCEMENT
- 20. THE BATTLE
- 21. HUNCHELLA PART TWO
- 22. THE DRESSING ROOM
- 23. THE MAKING IT RIGHT