Wise Children

Angela Carter, Emma Rice, Emma Rice

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2018
• Print ISBN: 9781786826916
• eBook ISBN: 9781786826923
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Marriage & Family Sociology
• Index: Social Sciences

In Brixton, Nora and Dora Chance – twin chorus girls born and bred south of the river – are celebrating their 75th birthday. Over the river in Chelsea, their father and greatest actor of his generation Melchior Hazard turns 100 on the same day. As does his twin brother Peregrine. If, in fact, he's still alive. And if, in truth, Melchior is their real father after all… Wise Children is adapted for the stage from Angela Carter's last novel about a theatrical family living in South London. It centres around twin chorus girls, Nora and Dora Chance, whose lives are brimming with mystery, illegitimacy and scandal. Dora narrates the story as her older self, looking back on atumultuous life, throughout which she and her sister have loved to sing and dance.A big, bawdy tangle of theatrical joy and heartbreak, Wise Children is a celebration of show business, family, forgiveness and hope. Expect show girls and Shakespeare, sex and scandal, music, mischief and mistaken identity – and butterflies by the thousand.

ACT TWO

SCENE 1

We return to the theatre and it is time for curtain up on ‘What You Will’. The bottom of the tabs glow provocatively.

GRANDMA

Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for our greatest living Shakespearean (although he has always steered clear of Hamlet, nervous that the critics might think he wasn’t half the man his mother had been!)

My favourite play by Shakespeare is As You Lick It. And let’s face it who doesn’t like to lick it, or occasionally I like to flick it particularly when I am Taming my Shrew. But I do draw the line at anything entering my Coriolanus –

PEREGRINE enters to avoid further embarrassment.

PEREGRINE

I give you The one and only Melchior Hazard who is joined this evening by… the Lucky Chances!

The curtain rises.

MELCHIOR

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They all have their entrances and exits,

And each man in his time plays many parts.”

WHAT YOU WILL – GIRLS WILL BE BOYS

SHOW NORA and SHOW DORA are revealed looking dapper and sexy in Shakespearean mens’ clothing…

Whilst we’ve never had a problem

Understanding Willy

His cross-dressing habit was simply overkill – He

Dipped his quill in all he fancied

Hose, or ruff, or frill –

Was he being trans–a–curious

Or simply

What You Will?

Chorus

Girls will be Boys when they want their own way

Men take pride as if they’re protégé

Then there’s a sudden realisation at the end of the play

That we’re all a bit distracted by the choice of passageway!

In 1599 was this really so risqué?

Or simply an excuse to try on cute lingerie

Or maybe Shaky fancied something more like Cabaret

Girls will be Boys when they want their own way

We’ve never had an issue

Understanding young Viola

She would have sold her brother for a life boat shaped gondola

When she swapped her skirt for trousers

She became the ‘boy’ men like

The one that says he never would

But looks as though he might!

There was never a struggle

Understanding Portia

She dressed up as a lawyer to get her way in court-A

A lofty attitude she showed

To poor Bassanio

She says her virtue’s still intact

Though she like to go commando

CHORUS

Girls will be Boys when they want their own way

Men take pride as if they’re their protege

Then there’s sudden realisation at the end of the play

That we’re all a bit distracted by the choice of passageway!

It really doesn’t matter

to us who you think you are

If you like a cigarillo or a big cigar

The one thing we feel certain of

As Grandma always said

It’s always come in handy

and has stood us in good stead

So if you hadn’t realised

By now you should have guessed

That when it comes to being us.....

They strip to their fabulous undies!

Breast is always best!

She has sharp teeth, within her mouth

Inside her dark red lips

And polish bright hides the sharpened claws

In her fingertips

And as she conceals her power

All your strength is now on view

You think you are possessing her

But she has got her teeth in you

In you

There follows a big sexy dance break which is interrupted by MELCHIOR, dressed as Shakespeare.

MELCHIOR

Thank you, my Dears.

He stops the music and gestures for the girls to go to the back.

Saskia! Imogen!

His beloved children arrive on stage.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I have the privilege and honour to present to you, my family – my beloved Darling Buds of May and my muse and wife, Lady Atalanta Hazard!

As a finale, LADY ATALANTA appears dressed as Good Queen Bess. Shakespeare kisses her full on the mouth. The LUCKY CHANCES have faded into the background and have been returned to their rightful place in the CHORUS. What You Will is a huge success! On the final beat of the number, MELCHIOR turns into OLD MELCHIOR.

OLD MELCHIOR

Ladi...

Table of contents

• Front cover
• Half-Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Act One
• Act Two
• Epilogue