So Many Reasons

Racheal Ofori

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2020
• Print ISBN: 9781786828538
• eBook ISBN: 9781786828521
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Ethnic Studies
• Index: Social Sciences

Melissa is having a bit of a crisis. This bold, funny and honest piece explores the reasons why: starting with her mum, God and sex… But what happens when we realise mums don't always know best? Told by a first-generation British-Ghanaian woman on the hunt for an orgasm, Racheal Ofori's brave and exuberant So Many Reasons explores cultural and generational shifts, religion and sexuality.

PRAYER THERAPY

MEL enters. She gets down on her knees and puts her hands together.

Dear God. It’s Melissa here.

I literally can’t do this anymore…

I mean I’m not suicidal, but life is like so long…wow. Probably not for you because you exist outside of time blah blah whatever…but I’m only twenty-five.

Like sometimes, I just want a break from life. Like where you’re not you. Is that a thing? Because technically I didn’t ask to be here, on this journey, in this vehicle… (I mean it’s quite an attractive vehicle, so thank you; things could be worse.) But the point is I didn’t ask to be here so I should be able to tap out whenever I want you know?

Not death…because I haven’t decided how I feel about you. I’m just asking for a little pause; a hiatus if you will. So can it commence now, and finish when things in my life are kind of completely, pretty much, entirely perfect. Thanks.

So, whenever you’re ready… Woah! Not permanently! Just to be clear… Maybe we should have a safe word, like when I’m done being on a break…actually you don’t need that – you’re all-knowing, obviously.

Okay, cool. Go.

Silence. A sense that she might ascend and float to the heavens… but no – nothing.

Right, I’m getting vibes that this whole life hiatus thing… is not a thing. I thought it was worth a try but, cool, there’s no get-out clause. And I think you missed a trick there – because we would probably all be better people if every now and then we could put a pause on life, and get a little objective perspective.

I just feel so lost. And I don’t know where things went wrong…

THE BUCKET

I remember when I first visited Ghana.

I was ten and I was desperate to prove myself; show I was strong, I was clever, that I could learn the language.

Anyway where my grandma lives, when you’re going to have a shower, you have to get a bucket and fill it up at the tap that serves the whole compound. The tap sits eclipsed by the shadow of a huge mango tree opposite. (And that mango tree is the bomb; never tasted mangos like it.)

The tap is next to where one of the uncles (that also lives in the compound) has set up his office. And when it’s really hot his male colleagues will put a table outside in the shadow of the glorious mango tree and work there. Just near the tap.

So I stroll up with metal bucket in hand, ready for a shower – and I place it under the tap. And I see one of these male colleagues. Let’s call him Uncle Eric. Oh, every elder is an ‘uncle’ or ‘aunty’, that’s just how it works.

ERIC: Do you want me to help you to carry that water?

MEL: No. I can do it on my own.

ERIC: Okay, okay, calm down British girl. I was only trying to help you.

MEL: Help me where? To the shower??

And then he stands over me and watches me while the bucket fills.

ERIC: Are you sure? It’s going to be heavy.

ERIC chuckles.

And I look at him. And I laugh.

So I’m thinking I don’t want the bucket to be too full so some of the water spills, giving him a reason to swoop in and save me and chaperone me to the shower. So I fill it just over halfway. And walk away. It’s heavy but I do my best not to show it.

ERIC: Oh! You are strong, oh. Wow. Strong woman.

And I just laugh. I just laugh

And I still laugh now. Just to be nice.

It’s interesting, though, because you end up with less water in your bucket…

THREE STRIPES

A crying young MEL comes home from school and throws her jacket down in front of her MUM.

MEL: Mum, everyone laughed at me!

MUM: What is wrong with you?

MEL: Everyone laughed at me, because it’s not real Adidas.

MUM: What is real? Is it not a real jacket? Is it not keeping you warm ‘for real’?

MEL sobs.

MEL: But it has two stripes instead of three, Mum, and that’s why they were laughing.

MUM: This is why you are going to school here in London – so when you are grown you can have choice. With a good job you can do and buy whatever you want.

MEL: Yes, Mum.

MUM: Come, let me show you what I bought today:

And she’s got loads of bags from where she’s been shopping. She pulls out a shoe box from one of the bags, and opens the box!!!

It’s a pair of heels – for her. She’s bought herself new shoes and she can’t afford the third stripe on my jacket!?

And then she puts them on…

MUM: You are not ready Mel!

MUM puts on the shoes.

MUM: Look.

MUM proceeds to dance around in the new shoes.

MUM: When I was your age, I had two shoes, just two. One for church and one for school. And that school shoe was to last the whole school year, before my mum would even consider buying a new one. One year, my mum bought me some shoes…and when I say ugly, these shoes were ugly! So I went to school and was doing all kinds of damage to this shoe so she would buy me a new one. When I came home and my mum saw the shoes damaged on my feet like that, she said she’s not going to buy me a new one until the end of year, so I better find a way to fix that shoe and wear it tomorrow. I cried and I begged her, but she refused. Then I said: Mum, when I’m big I’m going to have so many shoes in every shade of every colour! And Melissa, look at me now. When Grandma flies here to visit us here she laughs – shoes everywhere. So don’t mind them. You will be able to buy Adidas top to bottom when you are big, okay?

MEL: Okay, Mum.

MUM dances some more to cheer MEL up before she disappears.

TOMBOY

It’s sports day, and I’m in year six. The last year of primary school. And we never had a girls’ sprint or a boys’ sprint, just a sprint. No track or field, just concrete. But I was going to leave my mark and take home gold. And I was fast. I’d be...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• So Many Reasons