ZHE

[noun] Undefined

Chuck Mike, Antonia Kemi Coker, Tonderai Munyevu

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2013
• Print ISBN: 9781783190720
• eBook ISBN: 9781783195718
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

'ZHE' (pronounced zee) is a gender-neutral pronoun – not he or she. Traveling from idyllic Harare, Zimbabwe to London's gritty inner city; from the playfulness of childhood to the pain of adolescence; from the desire for forgiveness to self-acceptance, this humorous yet haunting drama encompasses the multiplicity of our cultural, gender and sexual identities and takes a fresh look at what makes us who we are.

CHAPTER 1: EARLY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF MUM IN ZIMBABWE

MAN

Y’know there’s a phrase in Zimbabwe, ‘pane nyaya’ – ‘there’s a story’ and that’s what my grandmother used to call me ‘pane nyaya’. My story starts in Harare, Zimbabwe. My earliest memory was ‘getting ready’ for mum. My mum was this glamorous figure, this exciting, vibrant woman who was very well-to-do and wanted to do the best for her family

WOMAN

my mum wanted to do the best for her family too but I don’t think she quite pulled it off

MAN

and so that sort of transferred to how she dressed and looked. The things I remember about her is perfume, red lipstick – white clothes – she had this fur jacket that she used to wear to work in the morning

WOMAN

my mum was a really hard worker, liked clothes as well, yeah she made stuff,

MAN

and I’d stay at home with the maid and throughout the day the maid –

WOMAN

Maid?

MAN

would be saying ‘stop doing that’ and ‘when your mum comes I’ll tell her’ and ‘when your mum comes she will know about this’… We had this lovely dog called Lido

WOMAN

I had a dog called Sheba – it was a mongrel

MAN

and he was cream and very fluffy, very beloved of the family, and the dog also loved my mum. We all had this sense in her absence of her return being very overpowering, very much the centre of the day, the centre of our existence, all of us. To this day there are some memories of her that linger on – no doubt – if I hear a certain sound or I smell a certain thing like Poison, she wears Poison, a Christian Dior perfume, called Poison, even that suggests this sort of danger and attainment of glamour. I think that Dynasty was on TV at that time so there was that Diahann Carroll, Alexis Carrington sort of dressing because she could have things made for her. She loved to entertain so the home in itself was a showcase for her, an extension of her character. So even now if I smell Poison, the first thought that comes to my mind is my mother.

WOMAN

I have no memory of smell of my mum…

MAN

The first, is an emotional reaction of delight but slightly mixed with this sense of apprehension: Am I in the right place? Am I dressed the right way? What will she say? That was, that is for me still connected to that smell. Then there’s the intense colour red, her lipstick. A couple of Christmases ago we got her four shades of Chanel red lipstick and that really took us back to that time as children when we were growing up – my brother and my sister – we didn’t like the maid you know she represented my mother’s authority (The MAID shoves MAN down and commences to bathe him.) but obviously wasn’t my mother herself. She was from the rural areas so she didn’t understand anything but could follow the rules, just to

MAID

‘get the kids ready’

MAN

so sometimes we’d get punished by the maid for

MAID

‘trying to get her fired’,

MAN

for

MAID

‘trying to ruin her life’

MAN

she’d be very strict with us and the MAIN thing…the absolute main thing was that at about four o’clock we would start getting ready…so forget what you’re wearing after school… I’d need to discard that and go find some proper trousers or a shirt and she would bath me. She had this stone she used to rub against me all over, especially my feet just to get this dirt off and as a child I remember just being forced into the bathtub. She’d put this soap in my hair and just rub it over and I remember my eyes stinging from the soap running over and of course she’s in a hurry because she’s got a thousand other things to do so then I’d start crying and she’d slap me,

MAID

‘be quiet’, ‘get ready’

MAN

a rinse, pat down with a towel and then Vaseline – get moisturized to glow. I was finally put in these clothes which would last me from about four-thirty to seven when mum came. (They pause to listen as Lido barks.) We would normally hear the dog barking, I guess he could smell Mum coming from afar and he would just rush off and this would be sometime after six. I followed Lido, running to the gate to see my mum and the dog would bark, bark, bark and get very excited. But he never touched my mother because she always used to wear white. And I, would be standing there waiting. She was always very excited to see me but the main thing I remember was, (MAID picks up bags and moves, they follow mum.) that sense of rushing towards her but not really having any immediate contact with her, standing there, waiting. AND then she’d just come in.

Two hours later I was in bed (Cocktail sounds and theme from Dynasty are heard in the background.) and all of her friends were arriving – I could hear glasses clinking – I tried to put myself to sleep, then sounds of laughter, I just kept hearing glasses clinking – then finally, I would open the door, see them, look at them, what they were doing – and then one person might be going to the bathroom then I would panic and rush back into bed —

WOMAN

but in your dad’s house?

MAN

and that’s how I’d fall asleep every night in my mum’s house

WOMAN

it was a completely different story, wasn’t it?

MAN

hearing the sounds of people –

WOMAN

when you got to your dad’s house (Pause.)

CHAPTER 2: EARLY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
OF DAD AND ZIMBABWE

MAN

Most of my friends called me Choza –

WOMAN

Choza?

MAN

Yes which means a boy that is really a girl.

WOMAN

Really?

MAN

It was affectionate, a name that fit, a celebration of me. (A group of children do a call and response song to celebrate Cho...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• Contents
• Prologue
• Chapter 1: Early Childhood Memories of Mum in Zimbabwe
• Chapter 2: Early Childhood Memories of Dad and Zimbabwe
• Chapter 3: Early Childhood Memories of Mum & Dad in East London
• Chapter 4: Shifting Between Mum & Dad – Running Away
• Chapter 5: Care Stories
• Chapter 6: Boarding School
• Chapter 7: Adulthood – Upper Care – Identity Awakening
• Chapter 8: Uk Secondary School: Identity Awakening
• Chapter 9: First Real Love > Meltdown
• Chapter 10: ‘Disfigurement’ (To Be Or Not To Be…)
• Chapter 11: Homelessness
• Chapter 12. Adulthood: Rock Bottom
• Chapter 13: One Foot Forward – Finding Home
• Chapter 14: One Foot Forward – Testosterone
• Chapter 15: Two Feet Forward – Coming Out
• Chapter 16: Therapy
• Epilogue